Wonkette
Newlywed first daughter “Jenna Bush Hager” of course has been dragged to Baltimore to live with her elitist husband, Henry. What kind of fun does Baltimore offer for the upper crust of society? A bar, a bar, a bar, thank god, a bar: “South Baltimore newbie Jenna Bush seems to have settled on a watering hole she likes: Regi’s American Bistro in Federal Hill. I hear she’s been in several times, including Wednesday, when she was spotted with six girlfriends. All looked very ‘Texas,’ says my spy. ‘Hair all polished up and little fancy outfits.’ A guy who answered the phone at the pub confirmed that Dubya’s daughter had been in before. Pressed for details, he would only say this much: ‘She was there. I just saw her.’” The food looks really good at Jenna’s bar! Too bad she’ll never try any of it. [Baltimore Sun via Inside Charm City]
Is that a link to a bagel with lox, cream cheese, and an ever-fucking fried egg?!? I think I’ve found my new favorite sandwich. That and a Bush twins sandwich, that is.
Are there any gay bars in Baltimore for her husband to frequent?
can you blame her? a girl needs to be WASTED to sleep that with turd, Henry
What a skanky whore
I have been there. The tater tots with brie and bacon is da bomb…a fusion of eltist and hard working white folk food mixed in with a favorite of Hopey…quite possibly the perfect dish for the election season.
Zzzzzzzz…
It could only compare unfavorably to her former favorite hangout, Smith Point.
Oh my God, that food porn picture is amazing.
When is Jenna going to start to knock doors for Barry?
She’s just there doing research — she heard it was frequented by Nicaraguan AIDS orphans and she’s going to stay there and drink cosmos until one shows up.
…I’m telling you guys if it wasn’t for the fact that her grandfather was the head of the CIA for some douche bag named Reagan; “W” would be bootlegging whiskey and Jenna would be considered community property at some trailer park in southern Alabama!
We’re willing to trade looks for a certain… morally casual attitude.
Oh good, maybe the LNS-tards will finally migrate north.
ronaldpagan: yes… http://baltimore.gaycities.com/bars/
mookworthjwilson: but Hager and his douchetard friends probably sexually harass people here http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/02/02/AR2006020200598.html
They cancelled The Wire too early. She would have been a great customer for Milo.
ronaldpagan: Yes. I accidentally went to one once and made lots and lots of friends and did a fabulous karoake rendition of ‘Baby Got Back’.
Hair polished up and little fancy outfits? I give her 2 1/2 war diamonds.
From the picture, it looks like she wants to taste the market-fresh crotch
I want the video. First Daughters Gone Wild!
Can you blame her? If I was Dubya’s daughter I’d like to drink a lot too.
“… spotted with six girlfriends.” One of whom was slobbering drunk, another was an indentured servant from Paraguay, and the rest were grumbling Secret Service drones who were forced to “pretty up” for the big night out.
I see London, I see France, I see Jenna’s underpants!
Too bad Henry wore them last night.
Great. Now thanks to Ziggy Sobatka, Jenna thinks its ok to bring her pet goat into the bar with her.
Notice the girl that Jenna is falling on in the picture has the presence of mind to save her beer and cigarette.
*applause*
Those are skills you just can’t teach.
OK, so I’m moving to DC in a month, and Baltimore’s an easy drive. So new goal: seduce the first daughter. Since I have money enough to buy cosmos, I can’t see how I can fail.
ReelectTilden: Yesh, and with canteloupe and home fries on the side. Yummo!
regi’s American Bistro
Today’s Specials: Garbage Salad
Specialty Drinks: Peanut Butter & Jelly Martini
That, my friends, is Charm City in a nutshell.
Cool2Snog: Just wanted to be sure you were aware somebody got the reference. Road trip!
Bourbon Legend: Yeah, W’s daughter and freshly married to a pasty, puffy party hack. I’d drink all damn day too.
Lazy Media: Jenna really does have a certain similarity to Mayor Carmine DePasto’s daughter, doesn’t she?
Is it just me, or in that picture does she resemble an asian transvestite?
you know Jenna The Beard is so crushing on Barry
Coochie smell like crude oil.
mookworthjwilson: No. It’s not just you.
Nice to see marriage has an effect on Jen: transformed from skank ho to married skank ho.
Jenna seems tolerable in comparison to the brood from which she spawned. You must at least concede that.
Also, Regi’s sounds alright, but I hate that they have a La Jolla Chicken Wrap on the menu. California Cuisine is a cancer on America and the La Jolla Chicken Wrap shows how badly it has metastasized. Regi must immediately begin beer battering and deep frying his La Jolla Chicken Wrap.
I was at a bar in Syracuse that had a Sonoma Salad. It was just a bunch of unusual vegetables joined together in a way that no one from Sonoma would recognize, much less tolerate.
AngryBlakGuy: Didn’t hurt that great-grandpa was a Nazi either. I’m sorry, he just made his money dealing with the Nazis. I always get that part mixed up. I’d still hit it, because I’m sick that way. I know, I hate myself.
Sometimes I get a twinge of regret that I didn’t look into Federal Hell when I decided to move down here to Bawlmer . . . then I hear a Bushcunt’s moved to town, and well, I realize that maybe I didn’t make such a bad decision after all.
Still, living in the just-as-white and just-as-soulless neighborhood of Canton, just a water taxi ride across the Harbor from Jenna’s neighborhood, I fully realize I already have neighbors who are just as ass-backward. But minus the asshole Secret Security dorks hanging around all the time. Which, I suppose, is worth something.
Anyway, Federal Hell has a higher quotient of fratboy tards than Canton. Barely, but more nonetheless. Jenna’s very much in her element. Plenty of places for her to entertain herself in while hubby runs up Charles Street to Hippo and gets finds 7 or 8 fellows for that night’s rogering.
Fuck was the point of all this? Sigh. I need to stop drinking and Wonketting . . .
Uncommon Sense: Hey now. I still think we need to give Jenna some time to blossom. She has a lot working against her and it may take awhile. She just needs a little space.
I just saw Ron Reagan on T.V. Watching right wingers try to debate politics with a liberal named Ron Reagan is good fun. He even looks like his Dad and has a lot of his mannerisms. It will not have the same impact if Jenna follows the same track as Ron, but it will be satisfyingly hilarious nonetheless.
Her choice of husband does not bode well, however.
AngryBlakGuy: Yes, specifically Palacial Estates Trailer Court. Take Rural Route 1 past the Bait and Tackle Shop, over the Tallahoochie Bridge, turn left at the tire factory. They can located at Space #7. Print shutters, satellite dish on top of the swamp cooler next to the confederate flag.
KTHXBAI: Shutters AND a Satellite Dish??? Now that’s FANCY!
What’s up with that picture of GWB in the blonde wig humping that little girl???
Jenna always struck me as a Power Plant LIVE type. Although maybe she can haunt Fed Hill during the week and blackout to Baby Got Back on the weekends.