Wonkette
Yesterday, Congressman George Miller and Senator Sherrod Brown held a very important conference call to talk about their new legislation that would cut student loan interest rates. Hooray! But the conference call was never completed, due to a number of fellows claiming to be “journalists” asking about “hot sluts,” “hand jobs” and dumb blind people. Who would do such a thing?
These were very good questions, and just as important as precious “student loan” fake issues:
When the phone call was opened up for questions, the operator announced a caller claiming to be from the radio show Money Talks. The “journalist” proceeded to ask an obscene and offensive question: “Where in the next ten years do you see college students getting more hot sluts?” The representatives of the conference call seemed dumbfounded and not entirely sure if it was a slip up on the caller’s part or a serious question. When it became apparent that the caller was being rude and not asking about the new law, the call was dropped and the operator moved on.
Unfortunately, the same thing happened with the next caller: “Senator, how can we get blind people to stop leaving crumbs everywhere?” Noticeably shocked, the representatives again refused to answer the question. The caller reacted by angrily yelling, “No! You will answer the question!”
Then it happened again with the next two callers. One asked how we could increase the percentage of hand jobs, while the the other queried about similar sexual exploits.
Ken Layne, this is not how you should be spending your week off!
Democratic Lawmakers Asked about “Hot Sluts” and “Hand Jobs” [Pushback]
Fat drunk and stupid is not way to go through life, son.
>>One asked how we could increase the percentage of hand jobs
WTF does this mean?
…now these is the deep probing questions the public needs answered!
And that’s the last time we use 1-900-hotsexsluts to manage our conference calls, I tell you what!
Will the new bill subsidize student purchases of Truck Nutz?
Now that Tim Russert is gone, at least there is someone willing to ask the questions that America needs answered.
This sounds like ivy league college pranks and hijinks.
AngryBlakGuy: not “is” but “are” damn it!
Finally, someone has the courage to stand up for America’s college co-eds. All too often, I see these young downtrodden scholars lacking funds to even purchase sufficient clothing! I have seen countless heart-rending pictures of young ladies with inadequate covering of their hindquarters and torn (often shredded) t-shirts. And often, they’re not even dry, being drenched in water or covered in Jell-O.
Republicans would know the answers to those questions. This does not bode well for the coming elections.
El Bombastico: Mmmm, Jell-O.
El Bombastico: Actually, reminds me of this Onion article.
AngryBlakGuy: Cartman anal probing queries, indeed.
1. The midwest.
2. Don’t let them eat, ever.
3. Yes.
God bless these callers. These are the real patriots. Hell ya.
And about the handjobs. The percentage of handjobs as compared to what? I’ll assume it’s handjobs as compared to abortion, and the obvious answer is to elect McCain.
AngryBlakGuy: You needn’t worry about such small grammatical errors. Most of us only have a fourth grade education anyways. Besides, we don’t want you getting any more worked up than you already are.
Sherrod Brown is a brother, right? right?
Congressman George Miller and Senator Sherrod Brown are against jobs that good American hands to work!
Botswana Meat Commission FC:
Nope.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sherrod_Brown
can we get this on a “I saw it on CNN” shirt?
say, 60% percent of people are getting hand jobs today, if we wanted to increase the number to 80% we would have to add incentive. say, for every hand job a male/female gives a male, the price of Truck Nutz drops by 2 cents
ManchuCandidate:
Easily whiter than Bob Barr.
Head Asplode.
ManchuCandidate: Looks like Alfred E. Newman on a bad day.
Why are LNS members calling Democratic legislators anyways?
The people in question were from other countries and thought they were discussing “student alone” issues. Sherrod Brown’s remarkable resemblance to Sue Johannsen and Miller’s resemblance to Dr. Ruth didn’t help to clarify matters.
If we could get these callers to host “Meet the Press,” I may actually watch the show once in awhile.
I for one WOULD like to know more about collegiate blowjobs.
elburrito: I think there’s an investigative committee in the Senate.
I blame the economy. People wouldn’t have time to play ‘Do you have Captain Crunch in a box/Prince Albert in a can?’ if they were gainfully employed.
donner_froh: Aw, that’s just a bad picture. He’s actually kinda cute, especially with longer hair, ’cause it’s real curly.