Wonkette
In today’s edition of Wonkette Economic Newz(TM), the economy grew by 1% in Q1 2008!!!! The original estimate was still an awesome 0.9%, which was awesomer than Q4 2007’s 0.6%, which was awesome too because HOW CAN A PERFECT ECONOMY EVEN GROW AT ALL? Also, the Dow is down like 300 points and Oil is over $140/barrel and Congress has renamed our economy “Jesus’ Money Thing” because why not. [AP, AP]
It’s a Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr kinda day, economic-news-wise.
I thought “Jesus’ Money Thing” was giving the stuff away to the poor
Guys, can you fix that?
I read it as Twelfth Quarter of 2008. I’m in Finance so it threw me for a sec. It’s “2Q08″ and “2Q07″.
SayItWithWookies: again…you slay me…
The Real JR Revisted: 4Q07 rather.
MadMangosteen: Nah, it’d be more like walking into a church bake sale and kicking over tables and shouting at everyone.
Besides how are oil speculators going to afford their 5 diamond hookers giving away their money?
I have a suggestion for a tag for you: “totally fucked”
our economy’s reliance on foreign oil, actually makes it “Muhammad’s Money Thing”, right?
…will someone please tell me why, foreigners using the U.S. as a great big “Dollar Store” actually counts as economic growth?
Back to bathing in oil! Huzzah!
SayItWithWookies:
I actually had to look, er, wiki that up. C’est magnifique.
This is the Bush Admin we’re talking about. 0.9% translated from Jeeus math to real math is probably -5%.
Well 90 percent of all statistics can be made to say anything, 50 percent of the time.
AngryBlakGuy: America is now the Mexico of Europe.
The Real JR Revisted: No, 4Q!
Canuckledragger: No… 4Q and the horse you rode in on!
;P
AngryBlakGuy: hey, things are going really well for about 1% of the US population. It is the 1890s redux. We have robber barons, poorhouses, and no birth control or medical care. Let’s party like its 1899!
i dont know about everyone else, but i say thank god for those tax rebates…mine paid off one whole month worth of debt….AND i got to contribute my little bit to the ailing financial industry..;
anabellum: I’ve been waiting for days to use that.
ManchuCandidate: If you missed it, Richard Cohen opened a particularly annoying column, mocked here on Monday, with a similar line.
The Real JR Revisted: …America: a garage sale for Europeans?
See, this is why we need our guns!
Too bad we can’t afford bullets though. …
If I could achieve 1% growth, my wife would be soooo happy!
AngryBlakGuy: America: The Natives will braid your hair on the side of the road for $5. Scratch that. Make that 5 Euros.
anabellum: I blew mine on TruckNutz
AngryBlakGuy:” America: a garage sale for Europeans?”
we can only hope…
WaldoJeffersHead: we’ve told you not to believe those emails….do not take the Candian pills, really.
America: Sending lead infested toys to China since 2014.
that would be Canadian. sigh.
AngryBlakGuy:
I never could understand why they measure the economy from the top. A company’s strength increases by cutting their labor ( aka consumers ) by the hundreds or thousands. A proper economic gauge is the amount of consumers’ disposable income and, consequently, level of unemployment.
ManchuCandidate: He didn’t make that up — it was in a terrible Dick Cohen column from the other day that I am not going to link to because it will suck the brain out of you.
Doesn’t mean it wasn’t funny!
anabellum:
The true intention of the rebates. Kinda like an S&L bailout, but indirectly through consumers.
AngryBlakGuy: Europeans don’t drive cars, ergo they don’t have garages. It’s more like a “peasant bazaar”
Servo: “The true intention of the rebates. Kinda like an S&L bailout, but indirectly through consumers.”
couldnt have said it better myself…
How appropriate that FOX rang the closing bell at the NYSE today!
Remember the big NYC “blackout”? This is the big U.S. economy “blackout” of 2008. The financial world realizes there are only six more LOOTING months left in the W Administration, so they’ve kicked in the glass windows of the economy and are taking $140 oil, subprime lending computers, entire cases of vintage American jobs, and don’t even have the decency to hide their fucking faces behind the merchandise when they run for China. And the conservatives are scared of Obama? Fuuuuuuuuuck.
AngryBlakGuy: Yea, but its like a garage sale in The Valley, where the shit is all plastic-y and particle board and overpriced and the sellers keep going on and on about how much they originally paid for it back in the 90’s from Taiwan, ’til Europe tells his wife “Fuck it, it would be cheaper to buy it all new from China/Ikea.”
Servo: “I never could understand why they measure the economy from the top. A company’s strength increases by cutting their labor ( aka consumers ) by the hundreds or thousands. A proper economic gauge is the amount of consumers’ disposable income and, consequently, level of unemployment.”
along the same vein, perhaps the ‘running on fumes’ factor should be considered, and all americans be given a credit card bonus of $4000 a month for not working….thus no nasty wage payments for corporations…and increased consumer buying at the same time!!!!
the economy would recover in no time…
oops must have hit the wring button….comment above for AngryBlakGuy…my bad…
John McCain is aware of the economy.
>>“blackout”
Racist
Sure the economy is bad. It’s Bill Clinton’s fault.
Paultardville: Wait, I think you’ve hit on the solution to our economic problems. Chrome Truck Nutz retail for $39.99, which nowadays is about what, 2 Euro? We sell ‘em to the Europeans for 3 Euro each, pocket the difference, and we’re on our way to Easy Street!
I say we don’t drill out any of “our” oil until it hits, like, 200 dollars a barrel. That will really fuck those foreigners.
The economy grew in Q1 of 2008?!?
But … but … but … Warren Buffet told us we’re already in a recession (two consecutive quarters of a shrinking economy.) How can we already have two consecutive quarters when we haven’t had one quarter yet?
I guess I’m not as smart as all them liberals.
Guess we’re not as fucked as Ken said we are. When does he print a retraction?
Shmucky DeFukhed: Lezzee, here…. OK, I just checked and I have enough toes for this, so here goes: 1% increase in GDP minus 4% inflation = -3%, a contraction in real terms. When the contractions become more frequent that one each thirty minutes, the economy has to go to the hospital.
villageatrois: Does the economy get its balls checked at the hospital? I think it should…
shortsshortsshorts: Oh yes, indeed! Gets ‘em checked, weighed, x-rayed, counted. It’s still gonna be a number less zero.
Doglessliberal: Candian pills are the only kind I take. It says gazebo or placebo or something like that right there on the bottle.