Supreme Court Strikes Down D.C. Handgun Ban, Immediately Shoots At Random People

They've been talking about it for a while, but the ACTIVIST judges of the Supreme Court today struck down Washington, D.C.'s ban on handgun ownership, voting along Ideological Lines. Hooray! Because we all have guns, and now we don't have to hide them under our pillows with the safety off anymore, which was not safe in the first place. Justice Antonin Scalia's majority opinion went along the lines of: "If a bunch of blacks in Anacostia shoot each other, how the hell does that affect me, Tony Scalez?" [ Washington Post ]