Wonkette
Have you heard of these frightening creatures called “Obamacons”? They fold up into trucks and shoot laser beams out of their eyes, and they have terrifying names like “Chuck Hagel” and “Colin Powell.” But are they good or evil? That depends on whether or not you’re Robert Novak, who wrote a column or something about them today.
Novak explains that these “Obamacons” used to be conservatives, but now they want to kill their movement in order to save it. That’s why they’re supporting the liberal elitist Barack Obama! Well that and Colin Powell feeling bad about not running for First Black President himself.
Other Obamacons like Larry Hunter seem to have switched teams just so that they can write sentences like this on their blogs: “The Republican Party is a dead rotting carcass with a few decrepit old leaders stumbling around like zombies in a horror version of Weekend With Bernie, handcuffed to a corpse.”
Robert Novak’s gonads are turgid with fear.
Two Big Obamacons? [Real Clear Politics]
Robert Novak has gonads?
Colin Powell and Chuck Hagel should run as Co-Inappropriate Vice Presidents with Obama. Then everyone except Pat Robertson would vote Democratic in the Fall.
“”For conservatives, Obama represents a sliver of hope. McCain represents none at all. The choice turns out to be an easy one,” Bacevich concludes.”
A quivering sliver of Hope and a glass of Chablis for everyone.
Novak, that respected undercover operative outer… says Powell was never a conservative because, well, he’s black… and has the same qualifier for Armstrong Williams (African American). Can we please label all caucasions as caucasions from now on?
The President, Bush (Caucasion), met with Donald Rumsfeld (Caucasion) yesterday on the lawn of the White (Caucasion) House surrounded by a gaggle of White (Caucasion) House correspondants (Caucasion, except for the Macaca in the back) as they discussed military options in Iraq (a country consisting of myriad Persian, Arab, and African tribes).
As illustrated, this would no doubt add to the flow and ease of reading.
McCain’s ping is like infinity and his polygon limit is 32.
Colin Powell couldn’t possibly be the First Black President. He’d have to be black for that.
Obamacons, Republicans in disguise.
Colin Powell endorsing Obama? That’s big time.
Next you know he’ll have the Steele brothers (Michael and Shelby), Armstrong Williams, and Ward Connerly. And they’ll start an Obamacon band called Black (not Black). And during the day they will be self hating conservative business men and at night they will be rockstars with a magic computer called Synergy and…
Sorry, that second Red Bull is kicking in.
oh Transformers, this takes me back to my old country of Honduras circa 1986. I miss those days of innocence. Wait is this the point of Obama’s campaign? To make me correlate Obama with Innocence? So hopey is all that is right with the world!? Will obama bring 80’s cartoons back? Like ThunderCats? (we all know he’s Lionel) He-man? M.A.S.K? Voltron?! OMG I feel Obama’s presence when i watch 80’s cartoon heroes! Must vote for hopey.
Larry Hunter’s statement about The Republican Party is a dead rotting run-on sentence with more than a few extraneous adjectives with one too many references to zombized 80s pop culture no one really cared about in the first place… handcuffed to a corpse.
I call dibs to staple the toupee to McInsane’s head!
You’ll forgive Novak for saying those things. It is a well-known fact that senior citizens have a crippling fear of robots.
Obamus Prime. TM.
If Hopey wants Powell as VP, they better well run a Colinoscopy first. Who knows what shit might be found in there,,,,
ehh… uh!
Someone reads Novak’s column? Really? Why?
So are Powell and Hegal Autobots or are they Decepticons?
Now we know what the October surpise will be……those aren’t walnuts in WALNUTS! cheek. It’s the All Spark.
“Do I now, as a newly minted Obamaphile liberal elitist, have to serve my guests Chablis? Or would any old chardonnay do? …”
Okay, folks — that’s charming, but amateur. Chablis was never more elitist than Chardonnay — but currently the elitist varietal is Viognier. Please — it’s “A” game time, okay?
Damn! those ,,,,,, wer suppoze to be semi-Colins;;;;;;;;
Transforming into a truck = change we can believe in?
Obamatimus Prime ‘08!
Prodigalson1982: It takes me right back to the ’80s and classic SNL. The next chant for CHANGE will consist of 5 syllables:
HO-PEY CUNNING-HAM! HO-PEY CUNNING-HAM!
Don’t be too hard on Bobbie Novak. Rather dusky-hued himself, he’s been a GOP hit man for so long, all on the promise that one day, all of White America would say…Yes, Bobbie Novak, you truly are a White Guy. And then what happens? Obama comes along, the living embodiment of every old honkey’s worst nightmare, the Cool Black Dude who only has to smile to get everyone groovin’ to his rhythm, and the old boys just shit right in their Depends and start whisperin’ “He’s really a Muslim, you know”….and all that other stuff. The demographic I wanna see? How many GOP soccer moms are gonna vote for Barry just because he’s forbidden fruit!
turgid. nice.
“Hunter was fired as U.S. Chamber of Commerce chief economist in 1993 when he would not swallow Clinton administration policy…”
I’m sure he wasn’t the first govie to be fired for not swallowing something Clintonian. Hey-Oh!
I predict that at some point Peggy Noonan will declare herself “filled with Hope.” As it were.
…in a display of my infinite knowledge of everything Transformers(or a wasted childhood) behold:
Optimist Prime = Barack Obama
Bumble Bee = Bill Clinton
Dead End = Hillary Clinton
Dino Bots(all of them) = McCain
Mega Tron = Dick Cheney
Slag = Cindy McCain
Misfire = “W”
Mr. Herpes: I’m not sure about forbidden; I’m even less sure about fruitiness.
AngryBlakGuy:
Who’s Joe Lie?
SayItWithWookies:
Pish posh. My Albariño will kick your Viogier’s cask
Prodigalson1982: I would vote for whoever could bring back M.A.S.K., that’s for damn sure. Thundercats were a solid cartoon, but the toys were not as cool as M.A.S.K.’s.
My conservative family worships Colin Powell. I will enjoy watching their collective heads explode.
AngryBlakGuy: Optimist Prime…PERFECT.
ManchuCandidate: Joe Lieberman = Mumblebee?
Joe Lieberman=Starscream
Hmmmmm. I wonder if Novak ever lef this first wife. Who was CRIPPLED and DISFIGURED!
Clever_Sobriquet: SayItWithWookies: My Old Vine Zinfandel will brutally sodomize your viognier and your albarino, even though I’m still way too stupid to do the sedilla thingie.
The least said about Robert Novak’s gonads the better.
Conservatives are abandoning the Republicans for the obvious reason: Barry’s too sexy. I mean, shit, McCain? Been there, done that about a zillion times. “Vote McCain: He’s Been Around”
ManchuCandidate: …I had to wiki this one!
Swindle = Lieberman
ManchuCandidate: Shitbot.
Clever_Sobriquet: Your Albariño may be good, but no Iberian wine is capable of being elitist anymore than the best cheese in a can could be.
weirdiowasculpture: I almost mentioned Zinfandel, but was concerned too many people would be thinking of that awful pink stuff with the same name.
Powell also might not want to be in the Republican camp as his most famous moment was when he unintentially lied to the whole world on behalf of the Neocons.
ForeignSickSpecialist:
That’s really funny, but you forgot Novak’s (dead rotting carcass stumbling around like a zombie) identifier.
“…Nevertheless, Obamacons — little and big — are reason for concern by McCain. It also should cause soul-searching at the Bush White House to ponder who made the Republican Party so difficult a place for Republicans to stay.”
y’think?
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Bob Novak for Veepee!
big sale on novak nutz
ManchuCandidate: Lieberman = Starscream
Only nowhere near as cool.
ForeignSickSpecialist: Kudos for being 1st with that.
snig: Touche!
It tends to be conservatives who we often refer to as “one of the good ones” who are flipping for hopey. This is ironic because they’ve probably been secretly referring to him as “one of the good ones” for years.
weirdiowasculpture: Hey, hey. Brutal sodomization only happens with Republican beverages. As far as I can tell.
SayItWithWookies: Am I think only one who likes pink wine?
qwerty42: The only soul searching Bush’s done so far has been gazing into Putin’s eyes.
Personally, I prefer to think of myself as an Obamazoid, but whatever suffix suits you best. You could be an Obamazon warrior, an Obamite, an Obamama, an Obamian, an Obamaroon or an Obamagator.
As for Obamacons, I’m sure that our main man will welcome them with open arms, because that’s just his way, but I would be deliriously happy if he were to reject this endorsement on the grounds of war criminality and general lame-assedness.
AnnieGetYourFun: Maybe, but then I don’t have a matching pink pistol avatar to go with it. Actually, if you put a bottle in front of me, odds are that I’ll drink it — just with varying degrees of elitism.
Maus: the only ones capable of any introspection are long gone. now it’s the true believers. and re Putin? having made the decision, I doubt the Decider is even capable of reconsidering that one. was going to include a link to a bush countdown clock, but -gosh- there are so many.
“Other Obamacons like Larry Hunter seem to have switched teams”
must… not… make… closeted… Republican… joke
Obama = Transformers
McCain = Go-Bots
SayItWithWookies: now i thought zin (red) jumped the shark before the pinot (noir) / sideways explosion.
but what do i know. i post three hours after everyone else.
These guys probably have the best idea yet. The Republican party is idiologically and philosophically dead, its rotting corpse held together by loose ties of religious pandering, corruption, exploiting bigotry, sexism and racism and fear to convince Americans that they actually have anything left to offer.
I’m seeing a lot of parallels between the ‘08 US election and the ‘07 Australian federal election- a young, charismatic, competent candidate finally comes to give the left-leaning opposition a chance against an entrenched rightwing enemy that’s increasingly attracting voter ire (although the Australian Liberals, don’t let the name fool you they’re our Republicans, were worlds more competent than the Bush administration). After a brutal and prolonged campaign, the leftwing party beats the opposition by a large margin, and there is much rejoicing. The rightwing party leader, meanwhile, quietly retires, and his party completely falls apart.
The only thing the Republicans have going for them right now is the fact they’re in power. Once they lose that, I have a feeling they’ll fall apart even worse than the Liberals did, fragmenting among libertarians, fundies, freshly ditched corporate pawns and whoever the hell else is crazy enough to join them. Winning the election will only delay this.
While their opposing numbers take their vacant seats, the right-wingers will have to seriously re-evaluate their policies, values and practices. In this day and age, inflexibility means getting left behind in a changing world. The Republicans will have to reinvent themselves if they ever want a hope of contesting the GOP again.
Christ, cant we get through ONE dinner without someone mentioning the rotting corpse of the republican party?!
Sabre_Justice: left on their own, after a couple of years, the Dems do not function well without an opposition - it tends to keep them more focused and sharper overall. We see what happened to the Republicans when they suppressed or ignored their opposition, both within and without their party. However, the current Reps are indeed pretty much a rotting corpse led by zombies. They are worthy only of contempt, and it will take a few failing election cycles for the undead to be flushed out. Longer-term, it may be a generation or more before they ever regain the power they once had - not that they won’t will elections in the meantime, but they pretty much squandered everything they had. In exchange they do get to be the punch line of all kinds of jokes. Maybe that was the plan all along?
SayItWithWookies:, Clever_Sobriquet:, weirdiowasculpture: Please, girls, please! Let’s not bruise the grapes!
qwerty42: I think any democratic government gets sloppy when there’s little threat to its power. Easier to put up with people whining when they’re likely to vote for you anyway, which is exactly what the Repubs deluded themselves into.
Finally, another analogy to current Australian politics- once the Democrats/ALP are in power, we can start whining about them screwing things up. That, fellow Wonketteers, is democracy.