war is hell

Lara Logan, Best War Reporter Ever

Give this woman a prize.In an age when most reporters for the American media are timid, pasty, milquetoast mumblers, Lara Logan stands head and balls above the rest. Sure, we’ve seen some stories about her romantical adventures in Iraq’s Green Zone and an exciting brawl in a safe house between two rival suitors — and our only question is, Just two?

Somewhere in heaven, Martha Gellhorn is laughing.

Sure, it’s sad to see Lara Logan’s (very exciting!) private life become the story when she is one of the rare individuals who has actually shown some courage in a war that has made cowards of many of us (media, voters, elected officials, blah blah blah). That said, we find it entirely fitting that she’d want to bone Michael Ware, the sexy Australian with the fucked-up nose.

In conclusion, there is nothing more awesome than war correspondents constantly sexing each other and having fistfights, because that is what Hemingway wanted for America.

Anybody who calls her a whore in the comments is getting their ass banned, forever.

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About the author

Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

View all articles by Sara K. Smith

Hola wonkerados.

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125 comments

  1. Godless Liberal *

    She’s hot, not like hot on the grand scale of one to ten, but definitely newsmedia-hot. I’m not saying she’s a whore, but if she were, she’d easily rate four diamonds.

  2. KevoTron

    Anybody who calls ME a whore in the comment section… Well… I like dirty talk, let’s get a drink sometime.

  3. nbawriter

    Like reporters have had their sex organs removed … please.

    It would be a war crime if a smart, uber-hot woman like her wasn’t being pursued by a million pitched tents.

  4. loudmouthredhead

    Seriously? She could do way better. That guy’s nose would poke your eye our if you got in close to him! There must be some other *ahem* attribute that only Ms. Logan knows about to make up for that schnoz…

  5. AngryBlakGuy

    …ok ok ok, before I even read the post. I would hit that harder than bottle of Jack on New Years Eve(while at a office party)!!!

  6. loudmouthredhead

    [re=25037]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Hey, wouldn’t you get in a knock-down drag out fight with screwed-up-nose man to win her over? Cause I sure would..Mee-yow!

  7. Chad San Marino

    Let us eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may die . . . or screw and fight. Either works.

  8. SayItWithWookies

    [re=25042]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I’d hit that so hard, the person who pulled me out would become king of England.

  9. Godless Liberal *

    [re=25043]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Oh, of course. I am not sure what more I could do to his nose in a fight, though.

  10. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=25041]loudmouthredhead[/re]: …I think its the accent! I use to throw an accent out there back in my sexual harassment days(last weekend) and in the very least the woman wouldn’t call the police on me!

  11. WaldoJeffersHead

    [re=25041]loudmouthredhead[/re]: Maybe it’s the three-day beard. Some women like the ‘bad boy’ image that conveys. Mine usually looks like a mangy cat though.

  12. RaptorAvatar

    What do war correspondents talk about on a date? Like, do they have war stories or do they talk about regular shit? I have to know.

  13. EnBuenOra

    I’m starting to wonder if part of this news exposure is not just reaction to her national appearance on the Daily Show, but in fact revenge by CBS against her revelations of their Iraq non-coverage, using gossip & sex as a distraction.

  14. policonoclast

    She’s totally a four diamond sluuuuuuuuuut, but a bit of a chameleon. What is she? blonde? brunette?

  15. WadISay

    I always wish Lara would end her reports with, “In other news, a certain cub reporter and I had some fine Afghan and put on Rockin’ the Casbah last night.

    [re=25041]loudmouthredhead[/re]: I figure the schnoz is, itself, some kind of sexual appendage, but that’s as far as I want to go with it.

  16. nbawriter

    When she was on The Daily Show, I had to apologize to my wife for getting an erection from the television screen while sitting next to her.

    It was like I was 13 again, trying desperately to fiddle with that wheel on the 36-channel cable box so the Playboy Channel would be somewhat visible.

  17. SuperRounder

    How has no one been shot over this chick? She’s hot walking down the street in any city, let alone out in the desert where women are few and far between. Those eyes are really really nice. Maybe going to Iraq isn’t such a bad idea after all.

  18. DoctorCulturae

    1. a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.
    –verb (used without object)
    2. to act as a whore.
    3. to consort with whores.
    –verb (used with object)
    4. Obsolete. to make a whore of; corrupt; debauch.

    Lara Logan is definitely not a whore. She is a trusted news correspondent for MSM.

    And Ernest Hemingway was a brilliant writer.

  19. WadISay

    I would also like to see Lara Logan face off with Dana Perino. I bet it would be like the Coors Light Love Train comin’ through town.

  20. AnnieGetYourFun

    Dude, when I refer to Wonkette as “political porn”, I don’t mean that I actually want to be aroused by the coverage. Between this and Tractor Caucus, I’m feeling a little… warm.

  21. Doglessliberal

    Ok, this is to risk sounding like Jezebel and being banned, but what the hell? (the folowing is not a criticism of Wonkette, but of of the NY Post. I agree with Wonkette. She is not a whore; she is great).

    Why is it news only when a woman starts getting some? Why is SHE the story and not the men? The whole “babe” thing is just annoying, too. I mean, yeah, she is pretty, but does the media have to diminish her by turning her into a “vixen”. As Our Wonkette noted, this is what foreign correspondents are supposed to do! Go, risk their lives, have sex, move on….men AND women should do this in the finest Hemingwayan tradition. Only because it is a pretty woman does it make news in this titillating way. She is the slutty vixen who breaks up marriages. Sigh. (and I am not one to cry sexism all the time. Really. I roll my eyes at most of the knee jerk whines). I say good for her; go report and have lots of great sex, but why does it have to be reported as if in a high school gossip column?

  22. botlrokit

    Martha Gellhorn reports that she’s angry as hell, for finding out there’s a heaven. She’ll file her report on our new Iraqi strumpet, as soon as she’s finished fellating Yul Brynner.

  23. ManchuCandidate

    I’d never call Lara a whore. Seriously. Who doesn’t need some sumthang sumthang while covering a mostly fucked up war up close and personal. I’m guessing she needed something to remind her of her humanity of being alive–no different than what I’ve read that a lot of soldiers go thru in a combat zone.

    If she likes to fuck, so goddamned what! Those who do cry “whore” and mean it are typically the biggest moralizing uptight close minded self centered chickenshit motherfuckers who think sex is icky (and mostly because they’re scared most people might wonder about the diapers, ball gags, crotchless wetsuits, animals and other bizzare shit that’s revolving around in the dark places of their horniess.)

    I’d gladly brawl over her.

  24. Doglessliberal

    [re=25068]WadISay[/re]: Laura v. Dana would be like matching a Mensa chapter against a comatose infant.

  25. nbawriter

    Subscribers to the New Yorker: Is the “Maximizing Your Lobster” story about Lara Logan? If so, I might be able to forgive the Terrorist Fist Jab on the front and get a copy.

  26. AngryBlakGuy

    …Sara K. Smith has a little bit of eye candy for everyone this morning. You got Scott Kleeb(or Bruce Campbell’s stunt double as I call him) for the ladies and Lara Logan for us horn-dog chauvinists. Lets see if you can complete the trifecta by throwing in a Republican ass-fukking thread!

  27. ForeignSickSpecialist

    [re=25050]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: I do the same thing. White women love a black man who sexually harrasses them in creole or patoi. But in plain ole ‘mericun English, cops come in less than 2 minutes, shortly after the mob with the noose.

    Jungle Fever. Catch it!

  28. nbawriter

    [re=25070]Doglessliberal[/re]: Yeah … you’re sounding like Jezebel. Knock it off.

    (Actually, part of what makes her uber-hot is that during the Stewart interview she was clearly a competent and extremely intelligent reporter. That enhances the hotness.)

  29. WIDTAP

    Yesterday, CBS announced, without a hint of irony, that she was given a new Washington assignment as chief foreign-affairs correspondent.

    Some things just snark themselves.

  30. Doglessliberal

    [re=25076]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: There HAS been a dearth of those lately, hasn’t there? No Endless Cummer this year. Sigh.

  31. Doglessliberal

    [re=25077]ForeignSickSpecialist[/re]: A nice Irish accent works, too. You cannot tell what obscene harassment he is spewing, but it is lovely and musical, so it’s fine!

  32. SayItWithWookies

    [re=25068]WadISay[/re]: It wouldn’t even be close. In terms of pure wonk-sexiness, LL is at least as hot her looks let on, while Dana Perino would land in the range of, say, a desiccated turnip.

  33. WadISay

    [re=25074]Doglessliberal[/re]: Plus, Lara totally despises people who do nothing more than select and spin stories out of the middle east to make happy news. This only makes me love her more.

  34. Doglessliberal

    [re=25078]nbawriter[/re]: I agree she is hot and that is fine, as is the commentary here about doing her every which way. Hey, that is what we come to Wonkette for. What I was objecting to is the ridiculous style of the NY Post article. But maybe I am a bit testy because I was on an hour-long call just now with a twit, whose penis was no doubt microscopic, whose tone and words even started to get to me after a while, and I have a realllly thick skin and am close to impossible to offend.

    But enough of this seriousness. She is hot. And I have heard there’s a big sale on TruckNutz(TM)!

  35. Doglessliberal

    [re=25083]SayItWithWookies[/re]: yeah, it wouldn’t even be a mismatch between people playing the same game with diferent skill levels because Dana wouldn’t even know what the game was.

  36. tunamelt

    [re=25070]Doglessliberal[/re]: In answer to this: Why is it news only when a woman starts getting some? Why is SHE the story and not the men? The whole “babe” thing is just annoying, too. I mean, yeah, she is pretty, but does the media have to diminish her by turning her into a “vixen”., please see this comment: [re=25054]EnBuenOra[/re]:

  37. Doglessliberal

    [re=25088]WhatTheHeck[/re]: hah! I was going to note it gives a new meaning to imbedded!

  38. MadMangosteen

    Tales of the love fight first broke on the freerepublic.com in December.

    well by cracky if freerepublic reports it, it’s pretty much guaranteed to be true and not total fucking bullshit!

  39. MoodProcessor

    [re=25078]nbawriter[/re]: Not to mention, throwing out the MF bomb. She’s not hot, she’s spicy.

  40. AngryBlakGuy

    [re=25070]Doglessliberal[/re]: …yeah Im with you on this one. As long as it is between to consenting adults that are being honest with each other then why in the hell should you try and label someone?! Secondly why in the hell is it anyones business other than hers and her partners who she sleeps with?!

  41. thefrontpage

    Lara Logan has to be one of the most beautiful, sexy and hot “reporters” to exist in the past 100 years.

    And now she’s even sexier because she’s had an affair with a married man, caused a divorce, been with at least two other guys overseas, and is now scheduled to work OUT OF THE CBS D.C. OFFICE!

    Hey, Lara, when you get here, there’s about 500 Wonkette Members who would love to buy you a drink! And we mean that in the nicest way, really.

  42. Walter Sobchak

    [re=25076]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Given enough time, shouldn’t every wonkette thread become a Republican ass-fucking thread?

  43. Q2

    All’s fair in love and war…and in boosting the circulation of a worthless rag of a newspaper in an industry doomed to shrink into nothingness.

  44. Tawmn

    Any young woman who can maintain two boyfriends and a husband all while reporting the atrocities of war to a hungry US population has certainly got skillz.

    Are there naked pictures? All for the sake of journalistic curiosity…

  45. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=25070]Doglessliberal[/re], [re=25073]ManchuCandidate[/re]: What you said.

    Mind you, I’m kind of prone to whoring myself, and I don’t have any war to cover. I just like boning.

    In other news, The New York Post is beyond pathetic.

  46. KevoTron

    [re=25078]nbawriter[/re]: Yeah, intellectuals are sexy. I had my girlfriend quote H.P. Lovecraft and Kafka while we were boning last night. Then we put in some old tapes of American Idol for the Bukkake part of the evening.

  47. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=25089]Doglessliberal[/re]: You know, sometimes I feel sorry for Dana, because retarded people deserve credit for _trying_, you know? But then, I see just how completely arrogant she is, and all sympathy goes out the window.

  48. nyhfrog

    I’m 41 and this is the biggest crush I’ve had since Olivia Newton-John!

    Me Likey Lara Logan!

  49. Neilist

    I’d hit it.

    Ernest would have hit it.

    Heck, Martha would have hit it.

    (Oh, when is she going to interview Tim Russert? It’s been over three days; surely “He” has risen from the dead by now?)

  50. Doglessliberal

    [re=25103]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: well, yeah, boning is good, and I think the need woudl go way up when you were in peril and reporting from a war zone. You know, life affirming and all that good stuff.

  51. Doglessliberal

    [re=25105]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: yeah, the smug thing loses her the cute-feel-symptahy-for-me thing.

  52. WadISay

    [re=25099]Q2[/re]: At least you didn’t say, shrivel into a tiny, flaccid and impotent organ, thanks.

  53. SayItWithWookies

    [re=25089]Doglessliberal[/re]: It would be like a chess match between Gary Kasparov and the Pomeranian down the street.

  54. Jerk Cade

    [re=25086]Doglessliberal[/re]: Oh man, i wud due her evry which way with my microscopik penis, but only because she is a hore and wud like it!

    Also, I am very impressed by her no-nonsense war-reporting.

  55. Cool2Snog

    Whwnever I see a picture of the lovely and brainy Ms Logan, I just want to tilt my head back and make that gargling noise Homer Simpson makes when he thinks of doughnuts.

    Her accent, btw, is a mild Seth Effricken lilt.

  56. nyhfrog

    Hey,

    I’ll put it this way:

    Remember how adults used to tell us to eat everything on our plates because there were starving people in other countries?

    It’s the same with being hot.

    If you’re hot you damn well should be fuckin’ because there are unhot people, like me, who would be fuckin’ if they could.

    I take it as a sign of respect that Lara and Michael…and other hotties are out there fuckin’in a war zone.

    Thank you for your act of respect toward me, Lara. I appreciate it.

    …and if any of you commenters out there are unquestionably hot, get out there and start fuckin’!

    Or risk my wrath.

  57. Delicious

    “Sexy CBS siren Lara Logan spent her days covering the heat of the Iraq war – but that was nothing compared to the heat of her nights.”

    Where do they hire these writers? Wonkette?

  58. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=25119]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Hey, hey, hey. Pomeranians probably have functioning brain cells.

  59. Doglessliberal

    [re=25124]nyhfrog[/re]: Maybe we can establish a fucking cap and trade? Those who have much could sell some? So say I get some 5 nights a week; for a price, I could sell one of my nights so someone else could get some? This would break down, however, as I would not want to sell any. But maybe some people out there would be more generous.

  60. Doglessliberal

    [re=25130]Delicious[/re]: yeah, you do expect a heaving bosom to show up somewhere in that turgid prose.

  61. EnBuenOra

    By the way, I don’t think Katie Couric should be lecturing anyone on how someone else could harm the interests of CBS News.

    Katie Couric’s takeover of the CBS Evening News led directly to its getting lower ratings than, say, George “Macaca” Allens national telethon for Macaca-Americans.

  62. guerilla-nation

    you can’t spell “whore” without “HERO,” which is exactly what she is to former war correspondents like me who never had anyone but nicaraguan hookers and bob schieffer offering to fuck us.

  63. Mr. Herpes

    Hot? Ms. Logan is hotter than a Mosul alley full of the Sadr militia. She’s hotter than a 240 MG that just ripped off 1,000 rounds. Are kiddin’ me? I’d door-kick ten mosques, waterboard her mother, yank off her K-pot, toss the eye-pro and forced feed that infidel houri my own M4 on full-auto. And then… and then…..okay… sorry. Got carried away with the whole war correspondent thing. No more coffee for me today……

  64. Delicious

    [re=25156]guerilla-nation[/re]: [i]you can’t spell “whore” without “HERO”[/i]

    Wow, I just learned a life lesson on Wonkette.

    Well played, sir.

  65. Mumble Softly

    LARA is way to hot for this war and way to hot for those ugly dudes who were fighting over her.
    She should be with me !!

  66. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=25170]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: *gives
    I didn’t know he was working for Couric. How UNUSUAL.

  67. MARCdMan

    She makes me for the 100-year WALNUTS war, if it means more of her reports from the front line in her hot body armour.

  68. Harvey Birdman

    Yes she’s hot and yes she’s smart (S-M-R-T!). But the coolest thing about the Stewart interview was how real she was. I mean, her advice on how to win over soldiers: “Hey motherfuckers, what’s up?”

  69. populucious

    In conclusion, there is nothing more awesome than war correspondents constantly sexing each other and having fistfights, because that is what Hemingway wanted for America.

    God, if only everyone would consider what Hemingway would want for America before acting. What a righteous place this would be, like Lord of the Flies with weapons and alcohol and angry bulls running down the street. Sweet!

  70. WadISay

    Can you imagine the value of the movie, or maybe made-for-TV, rights to “Teh Lara Logan Story”? I am opening the bidding with a couple of diamonds.

    OK, now I am done thinking about Lara Logan until 10:53 PM tonight.

  71. Lord Humungus

    [re=25105]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: When did White House Press Secretary become a Special Olympics event? Same day the presidency did?

  72. Paultardville

    She should be proud that her sexual trysts are being bandied about while she is still young, unlike that pathetic Barbara Walters who did the attention whore thing by putting it in a book.

  73. Outstando

    [re=25041]loudmouthredhead[/re]: His nose isn’t the only thing that bends supernaturally.

  74. Deepthroat

    i swear to the flying spaghetti monster that my co-worker just walked by and at a glance asked me why there was a picture of me on the internets… i am so hot. apparently. She’s not really my type though.

  75. econdave

    Anybody who calls her a whore in the comments is getting their ass banned, forever.

    Can I call her a RILF?

  76. Truculent

    [re=25040]nbawriter[/re]: Only Washington-based reporters are without genitalia. Others outside the bubble are fully functional. Or so I’ve heard

  77. Big Al1317

    [re=25070]Doglessliberal[/re]: Because we live in a juvenile, repressed society where the collective mind has the maturity of a middle school kid. I bet the male reporters over there are getting laid often but that’s ok. A hot chick getting some? Scandal! Stop the presses!!

  78. gurukalehuru

    @dogless liberal You mean this isn’t a high school gossip column?
    @walter sobchak usually about 3 comments in

  79. NedPepper

    Shame, Shame, Shame you are all sexist, while focusing on her physical attributes and not her Mind. You have set the movement back Boys.

  80. Canuckledragger

    It goes without saying that I would hit that.

    The question is whether I [or anybody] will get that chance before either CBS or the Pentagon does it first.

    Really, no matter how attractive she may be, this woman displayed more guts on the Daily Show than I’ve heard from anybody in the MSM [the often-estimable Michael Ware included] since this ghastly carnage began.

    “You know, I was asked once do you feel responsible for the American public having a bad view, a negative view of the war in Iraq? And I looked at the reporter and I said tell me the last time you saw the body of a dead American soldier. What does that look like? Who in America knows what that looks like? ‘Cause I know what that looks like. And I feel responsible for the fact that no one else does.”

    And she’s unafraid to bite the hand that feeds:

    ” If I were to watch the news that you’re hearing in the United States, I’d just blow my brains out. ‘Cause it would drive me nuts.”

    I cannot give this woman enough props. Mere words alone cannot convey my admiration.

    Hitting that might begin to convey my sentiments, but even that’s not enough.

    Pulitzer? Nobel? Hopey’s Veep?

  81. Jobbotch

    “Hitting that might begin to convey my sentiments.”

    Phrase of the day, if not year. Bravo!

  82. Quacker

    Gorgeous Babe Reporter with skillz – ” If I were to watch the news that you’re hearing in the United States, I’d just blow my brains out. ‘Cause it would drive me nuts.”

    Quacker – “Just rest your worried minds, I’m gonna hop on over to her place, pick her up and stash her away in my bedroom until all this blows over – so to speak… for safety, of course”

  83. NebraskashireGentry

    I heard she is coming to Nebraska to cover Scott Kleeb’s Senate campaign.

    there will be many a sexxxy timez in Lincoln.

  84. Doglessliberal

    [re=25445]NebraskashireGentry[/re]: If Anderson Cooper comes to cover it, too, the state will explode from teh sexxy.

  85. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=25187]Lord Humungus[/re]: He promised a diverse cabinet. He didn’t mention that his idea of diveristy included hiring people who are legally brain dead.

  86. raider12

    For all of commentators lusting in their hearts, minds and anywhere else over Lara, as Hemingway wrote: “Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

  87. Chuck Fildren

    Dude, I’d totally fight over her and I’ve never even met her. I saw her on the Daily Show and it was love at first sight.

    I totally want to Iraq her war if you know what I’m saying. Alright! up top!

  88. Lazy Media

    After I saw her on the Daily Show, I was pissed. The sergeant who worked for me was all excited because she came to one of our press conferences in the Green Zone when I was there in early 2007, but I didn’t know who she was (I don’t watch the teevee news, because I know how to read). I’m no star kisser, so I stayed in my office instead of going over to hit on her. Dag.

  89. Lazy Media

    [re=25053]RaptorAvatar[/re]: Like all reporters, they bitch about work, which is what she did on the Daily Show (but in a sexy way).

  90. Whore Diamond in the Rough

    Sexy CBS siren Lara Logan spent her days covering the heat of the Iraq war – but that was nothing compared to the heat of her nights.

    Who the wrote that shit? Mike Walker?

  91. shortsshortsshorts

    HOLY SHIT!
    It’s hard to come-to and realize that the cousin you fucked was 20 years your senior.
    (I now desire that said scenario would be granted).

  92. Whore Diamond in the Rough

    [re=25070]Doglessliberal[/re]: I just thought about this, on the way to work, of all times.

    The NY (Com)Post deserves all the snark, slams, etc, lobbed at them, but at the same time, are some of the people on this thread condoning her ho game just because she’s beautful. At the end of the day, she did cheat with a married man, who’s equally at fault. Yes, it happens all the time, why give her a pass because of her looks?

    C’mon, if she looked like a crusty boil on the Amy Winehouse’s ass (in her current state, she was actually pretty, pre-crack), not one soul, male or female would be saying “hey, slut it up, if you feel like!” More like, “ugh, what a boner killer, how is she pulling dudes?”

    Look, I know there’s been studies that say above average attractive people get more breaks in life (get bigger raises, promotions, and other little life perks), and Lara’s not afraid to say that she’s used her fem charms to get things done, but c’mon don’t you think it’s equally as patronizing to expect someone to be slut it up just because of how they look.

  93. lawrenceofthedesert

    This was a missed opportunity to clear up those messy rumors about Lara and Big Brown.

  94. Flounder

    She obviously mis-heard her Managing Editor when he said:

    “You’ll want to get embedded as soon as you get there”

  95. sharkytowers

    I’m seriously infatuated with this woman. I’m married to a woman that is the greatest thing on earth and is 6′ tall and is hot as hell and can cook like crazy and brings home the bacon from work letting me sit around and make rock music in the home studio. She’s the best. No one could come between us.

    Except Lara Logan. I will grant my wife one man that if given the opportunity she may run off with and I won’t hold it against her (my money’s on Depp), but I get Lara.

    She fully reminds me of Nicole Kidman in “To Die For”.

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