Wonkette
Our good friend Jon Tester writes to us (and everybody else on his email list) to ask us to donate to the campaign of Scott Kleeb, who is running for the Senate “Tractor Caucus.” Who is this cutie with the terrible name?
“A teacher and a former ranch hand,” says Tester, which means he takes the summers off and knows his way around a sheep. But he is also a secret Elitist who went to Yale and has a PhD, so he probably runs an Arugula Ranch up there in, let’s see, Nebraska. Instant disqualification.
geh.
Can we build the Tractor Caucus out of Truck Nutz?
His Tractor Caucus could inspire the Damp Panty Coalition.
I’m contributing on the basis that we need more hot Senators. (Ladies and Gay Men: http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=scott%20kleeb&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi)
Is he asking for a reach-around?
nbawriter: Tractor Testicles … big sale, while supplies last !
nbawriter: No joke! Wow. The hotness is melting my monitor. I’m headed home to fire up the antique John Deere and join the tractor caucus.
Somewhat off topic, but I was watching CSPAN at like 2 am last weekend, and the Race-Horse hearings were on. They referred repeatedly to the ‘Congressional Horse Caucus,’ which I imagine is closely related to the Tractor Caucus, but much funnier.
…maybe I’m all hopped up on caffeine this morning(and I am) but this guys looks a hell of a lot like the actor Bruce Campbell from “Army of Darkness”!
Exhibit A:
http://www.theepiclist.com/images/2007/07/bruce_campbell.jpg
He’s the Nebraska Democratic Senate candidate hopeless cause that all the Kossacks have had a hard on over for about 4 years.
He knows his way around a sheep? Why am I not surprised? Amused but not surprised.
AngryBlakGuy: “Gimme some sugar, Baby!”
Totes Bruce Campbell.
So unquestionably gay.
AngryBlakGuy: There is also a theory (of which I do not subscribe) that he looks like the Hoff
Exhibit H
http://leavenworthstreet.blogspot.com/2007/06/kleeb-for-us-senate.html
Servo: Scott Kleeb: He knows you can’t get hot oral from a ruminant.
the tractor caucus ain’t the only thing Kleeb is enlarging
I wish I could quit yew-Tester-cul!
Are you sure that’s not the Marlboro man?
Quite the hottie.
Man, talk about Cow Porn!
Does he “motorboat” cows too?
nbawriter: Great idea, and economical too…because there’s a…
big sale on truck nutz
If this guy gets elected, Larry Craig will be spending a lot more time in the Senate men’s room.
Walter Sobchak: Rumor has it that the Kleebster is hung like a Horse Caucus.
I would totally contribute to the tractor caucus…unfortuantely I already cashed my check at the Piggly Wiggly so I could get a discount on a case of Coors and bulk pork rinds http://www.porkrind.com/porkrind.htm
And my last 20 bucks is reseved for professional cornhole products
http://www.cornholeshop.com/
I love America
Holy crap — just looking at that picture I can tell he smells of Old Spice, hay and a whiff of diesel exhaust. Can he sing “Wichita Lineman,” tie a clove hitch and cook a roulade?
He looks like Tom Cruise if the Grand Wizard of Scientology could fight his way to the top position.
Brutus Harlot: …that looks a little photo-shopped to me. And secondly why the hell do they have to post a photo of Hasslehoff in his tightey blackey’s? His chest looks like a worn out shag carpet.
AngryBlakGuy: You are not alone in seeing the resemblance. Although, Kleeb looks more like the cleaner-cut, fruitier Xena days that came later:
http://tvmedia.ign.com/tv/image/article/868/868813/bruce-campbell-20080423040250149.jpg
He needs a campaign slogan along the lines of “Scott Kleeb: He’ll make you feel like you have a shaky old tractor between your legs. That’s just the lure of the caucus baby, the lure of the caucus…”
Not_So_Much: …as long as doesn’t start threatening people with his “Boom Stick”!
SayItWithWookies: …and line dancing while telling us about his dissertation from Yale.
Sadly, I’m more convinced of this man’s cowboy cred (not sure what KIND of cowboy, exactly…) then the hilariously-manufactured “Big John” of Texas.
loudmouthredhead: …being the total cult fanatic of “Army of Darkness”(and Xena for that matter, but i digress) I fully endorse him for the senate! He is a “Dem” right?
This sounds strangely communist to me.
nbawriter: Can’t we just repackage Truck Nutz as Tractor Nutz?
AngryBlakGuy: Considering the Western motif here, I think Brisco County, Jr. comparisons are more appropriate…
I can’t believe the cowboy from The Village People shaved and has vitiligo. I thought he was still locked up for getting caught speeding while smoking crack.
Two words: Brokeback … Senator.
SayItWithWookies: don’t forget the slight overlay of horse, which is a good smell. Sort of like he just got back a nice, long, sweaty ride….
Uh, ahem. Got distracted.
Oh, he’s a Democrat. So, he’s probs not gay.
http://momocrats.typepad.com/momocrats/2008/06/interview-with.html
Democrats have quite the crop of cuties running for office this year, don’t they?
“Former ranch hand” = “Brokeback Mountain Man”?
“Kleeb” means “tractor” in Khazakistanian.
Doglessliberal: …sorry to poop on your fantasy but horses are kinda smelly!
loudmouthredhead: …And probably the scariest of all…
Scott Kleeb and Dustin Diamond a/k/a Screech from “Saved by the Bell”!
http://bp2.blogger.com/_H3Ht16mI06s/RygQ5Bo0x-I/AAAAAAAAAw4/alHTRkgDJbI/s400/Kleeb-
SEE REPUBLICANS US DEMOCRATS CAN GO TO YALE AND WEAR STUPID HATS TOO.
Hacks.
This dude could complete the non-wuss-politician trinity if he gets to serve with Tester and Jim Webb.
I just relized that this is what George Allen wishes he was. When he wears the boots and hat, and his revolting smirk smile, he just looks like a rich, prep school boy who tries to bully the younger kids because his daddy owns half the town. Kleeb could beat the Macaca out of Georgie with one hand tied behind his back.
He just got an endorsement from the Sit On My Face Coalition. I like him better clean shaven, without the “prison pussy”.
Omaha would have DSL if Kleeb hadn’t gotten liquored up on horseback and taken down them phone lines with his six shooter.
I’d hit it. But what I have in mind for him is more of a “train” coalition than a tractor one.
nbawriter: and if he’s 5′2″.
If I were his advisers, I would encourage him to campaign naked.
Better yet, for every $100,000.00 in donations, Mr. Kleeb should remove one article of clothing.
I’ve heard some Nebraskans pronounce it Scott “Klehb” (so that may help, name-wise).
But I don’t care how you say it.
Knee deep in a grassy field.
On horseback.
With his son.
I just don’t care.
He’s dreamy!
Outstando: which is exactly why Chuck Hagel/Chuk H./X (the illiterate vote of the state automatically goes to the Republican nominee) will be re-elected to the Senate as a write-in candidate.
honestly, it’s pretty likely that both of Nebraska’s Senators will be Democrats after the next election…though regarding Ben Nelson as a Democrat is rather dubious. the Republican nominee is an unpopular former governor who left his position to an even bigger moron so he could head the Department of Agriculture for George W. Bush–who even Nebraskans don’t much care for these days.
I’ve heard that while in Washington, Mike Johanns learned him some of them “D.C. values” (these, of course, do not exist). Also, his campaign slogan is much that those of other losing candidates: experience, trust, proven leadership and being a POW in ‘Nam!.
PrairiePossum: Subservient Mr. Kleeb Donor Strip Show. Hopey, take note.
Damn! I know a lot of people with PhDs. I wish they were as hot as Dr. Kleeb.
Cape Clod: Well then those Kossacks are on to something. I just saw his picture for the first time and I’ve got a ladyboner for him.
Big Sale on TractorCles!