HILLTARDS  1:46 pm June 25, 2008

Wonkette A Part Of ‘Nobama Network,’ Hooray!

by Jim Newell

While the hub for Internet-Americans that hate Barack Obama is clearly Ed Hale’s hcsfjm.com, its closest rival appears to be the “Nobama Network,” which describes itself as “a portal site designed to bring together the Grass Roots Movements in America spawned by outrage over the actions of the DNC disenfranchising voters, reassigning delegates, selecting their illegitimate Nominee and diminishing the most basic factor that makes America great, our right to vote and be heard!” Among the sites on this “portal” are the 40-50 worst sites on the entire Internet. Including your Wonkette!

We got some email from these people the other day, asking us to put its banner logo on our site. We didn’t, because who the fuck are these people? We must’ve posted 100 items making fun of Hilltards and their disenfranchisement shtick. And even if we actually thought Clinton voters had, somehow, been disenfranchised by the DNC in a shadow conspiracy, that would’ve been awesome. Ha ha, their miserable votes really wouldn’t have counted!

We didn’t go through the whole list of blogs on the “Nobama Network,” but we assume there are many other, uh, incorrect listings too. What’s another blog that people know? Talking Points Memo? Oh look, they say “No” to “Obama” as well!

18 MILLION CRACKZ IN YO GLA$$, SLUTS.

BIG $ALE ON TRUCK NUTZ.

[Nobama Network]

 

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

{ 85 comments }

Doglessliberal June 25, 2008 at 1:50 pm

I will never not laugh when you post BIG $ALE ON TRUCK NUTZ. It is like Mel Brooks movies: no matter how many times you see them, or how lame the joke, they make you laugh.

ColdCupofHope June 25, 2008 at 1:51 pm

That logo looks like something you put on your lawn to warn off burglars. Hamburglars mostly.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello June 25, 2008 at 1:53 pm

quite an honor to be ranked among such webistes as TENNESSEE GUERILLA WOMEN. plaster on some more makeup nobama, you trollopcunt. teabag wonkette’s ENORMOUS trucknutz.

DoctorCulturae June 25, 2008 at 1:53 pm

[re=24358]ColdCupofHope[/re]: It says “we’re a very lame home security company.”

Lord Humungus June 25, 2008 at 1:55 pm

PERFECT ending to that post. I just snorted soda out my nose.

Walnuts! June 25, 2008 at 1:56 pm

“The Nobamanetwork.com declares a Boycott on MSN and NBC for the outrageous remarks made by their anchors and pendants throughout this campaign.

We are Fox watchers!”

Take that MSN and NBC.

Serolf Divad June 25, 2008 at 1:57 pm

I like this blurb from their site:

The Nobamanetwork.com declares a Boycott on MSN and NBC for the outrageous remarks made by their anchors and pendants throughout this campaign.

“Pendants”?!?!

What have they got against necklaces?

ronaldpagan June 25, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Wonkette is right up there with WorstLittleCaucusInTexas, SenatorObamaIsAnOpportunist, and my personal fave so far: PoliticallyDrunkOnPower.

DoctorCulturae June 25, 2008 at 1:59 pm

[re=24365]Walnuts![/re]: You mean you watch Scarlett Johannsen? Sorry, already got her on our side. Ms. Bachmann? you can haz her.

dearest June 25, 2008 at 1:59 pm

Wow! That’s like the ugliest website after that other of the old bitter hillary ladies. Makes McCain look internet-savvy (just writing that feels wrong). The “We are Fox watchers!” proclamation is so unnecessary, so redundant.

shortsshortsshorts June 25, 2008 at 1:59 pm

FINALLY THERE IS A WEBSITE THAT KNOWS THAT WONKETTE DEEPLY SUPPORTS HILLARY AND NOW WE CAN BE HAPPY BECAUSE WE ARE GETTING REAL MEDIA EXPOSURE AND BARRY IS SOOO BLAAAAACK!!!!!!!!1!

AxmxZ June 25, 2008 at 2:01 pm

So, if “Clintons4McCain” is “1475 Strong” (boy, that’s a lot of Clintons!), and “OneVoteOneBrick” is “1 Strong,” does this mean that the other 193 or so blogs out of the 210 listed which have no numerical indicators of strength by their name (Wonkette among them, for some unfathomable reason) are just there because:

a) A Hillbot skipped out on some bingo games and bought the domain name
b) The blog bears no relationship to the Hilltard cause, even though they really realy really want it to, and as we know, really really really wanting something is enough
c) No one visits those blogs
d) All of the above

SayItWithWookies June 25, 2008 at 2:02 pm

Someone needs to start RacistsAgainstSexism.com and see if they can get it added to their list.

freakishlystrong June 25, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Why do these TRUCKNUTZ, crazy old, non period having “ladies” have the worst designed, ugliest sites on the planet, it’s like someone just learned about …

Servo June 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm

Nothing like misdirected anger for party unity. They should be disenfranchised just for their behavior. You broke the rules. Tough shit!

ronaldpagan June 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=24372]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Hillary and Nader could out-black Barry any day.

AxmxZ June 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm

[re=24367]Serolf Divad[/re]: I thought you were kidding, but then I found the blurb. There it is, sitting in a red frame, even. Dumb broads.

AfghanVet June 25, 2008 at 2:05 pm

I think they should read a little history and have a little more marketing savvy and go with a website named:

Calling All Remaining Dixiecrats!

“If giving the darkies civil rights wasn’t enough, NOW they are going to try and elect one!”

“Come where you belong, where white is right and right is the GOP!”

“Welcome home reluctant Dixiecrats!”

Tawmn June 25, 2008 at 2:05 pm

If they keep this up, Chicago’s Wesley Willis will be veep.

confusionanddelay< June 25, 2008 at 2:08 pm

illegitimate Nominee? You mean Barry was born out of wedlock? Bastard!

graceless June 25, 2008 at 2:08 pm

[re=24368]ronaldpagan[/re]: Hey Ronald, are you behind peganpower.wordpress.com? Do tell the truthiness.

shortsshortsshorts June 25, 2008 at 2:08 pm

[re=24378]ronaldpagan[/re]: Totez. 4 Realz.

Terry June 25, 2008 at 2:13 pm

“The Nobamanetwork.com declares a Boycott on MSN and NBC for the outrageous remarks made by their anchors and pendants throughout this campaign.”

“We are Fox watchers!”

You don’t say.

bonanzaj June 25, 2008 at 2:15 pm

spawned indeed.

limepez June 25, 2008 at 2:17 pm

isn’t wesley willis dead?

boy do i miss those headbutts

NoWireHangers June 25, 2008 at 2:17 pm

“On this site you will find numerous Grass Root Movements of people like yourself fighting for change. Find one that speaks to you, spend some time posting to Blogs, and talk to your neighbors and friends. …Surf the list below for the perfect group to join”

Look what group/blog I found listed just above Our Wonkette!
“Uppity Woman” Feast thine eyes; they have “Hope Bongs”!!!: http://hyper-educated-uppity-woman.blogspot.com/

Dude, I WISH I could order a Hope Bong

spencer June 25, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=24382]Tawmn[/re]: UNLIKELY

You are the man who has the plans
You have the ability to put people to work
You are the president of the United States
I like you a lot and I will award you

Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton
Bill Clinton

Cicada June 25, 2008 at 2:18 pm

I get dumbfounded when I look at these sites. They swallow every GOP talking point whole, call Kerry and Gore pansies, attack Obama as a Marxist AND a fascist, proclaim their undying love of Hillary 4EVER, then criticize every issue she ran on as “socialist”.

The cognitive dissonance must be making their brains bleed.

Godless Liberal * June 25, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Say, that’s poetic, using a grassroots movement to stop the candidate who perfected grassroots movements.

OzoneDude June 25, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Maybe you got nominated because you’re no longer apolitical and funny, and your commenters are brain-dead. That strip of banner ads down the side is just depressing.

KevoTron June 25, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=24356]Doglessliberal[/re]: Agreed. I’ve started saying it in casual conversation and nobody seems to get it. I am striving to add this saying to the public vernacular. Maybe Barry could work it into a speech.

AngryBlakGuy June 25, 2008 at 2:21 pm

…I have a feeling their will be an up tick in crazy’s now.

Deepthroat June 25, 2008 at 2:22 pm

what is the PUMA Pac? Is that like a support group for Cindy McCain? Dumb fucks. They got their felines mixed up.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

If they don’t watch MSN and NBC in the first place, how can they boycott? Oh god, I think i just used logic! I’m falling off the wagon!

itgetter June 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=24402]Cicada[/re]: No bleeding. Teh bitter serves as a cushioning agent.

masterdebater June 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

It’s so unfair. They went in alphabetical order just to keep Wonkette from being number one! Cheaters.

4tehlulz June 25, 2008 at 2:24 pm

lol they list HuffPo.

weirdiowasculpture June 25, 2008 at 2:25 pm

“Americans are feeling angry, appalled, defeated, and invisible.”

Americans feel “invisible?” Cool!! I can finally sneak into the Cal women’s soccer team showers!!

Deepthroat June 25, 2008 at 2:26 pm

[re=24402]Cicada[/re]: Cognitive Dissonance you say? See! That Obama 1984 ad is slowly having an effect! Doublespeak! Two minutes hate! The Hilltards are actually.. BIG BROTHER!

AngryBlakGuy June 25, 2008 at 2:26 pm

[re=24409]Deepthroat[/re]: …P.U.M.A = Party Unity My Ass

I thought it was like a bitters version of a Cougar too.

Walter Sobchak June 25, 2008 at 2:26 pm

[re=24402]Cicada[/re]: That implies they have brains, and you know, blood.

NoWireHangers June 25, 2008 at 2:29 pm

[re=24408]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: See OzoneDude

Servo June 25, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Obama’s staff should keep tabs on whomever registers on these sites to deny them any employment in the infrastructure restoration jobs.

RaptorAvatar June 25, 2008 at 2:30 pm

[re=24399]NoWireHangers[/re]: I’m a staunch fan of the vaporizer, but I would totally buy a hope bong.

mookworthjwilson June 25, 2008 at 2:31 pm

[re=24406]OzoneDude[/re]: Ouch…at least I don’t use the picture of some friend of Don Imus as my avatar…

AxmxZ June 25, 2008 at 2:33 pm

[re=24406]OzoneDude[/re]: So you’re saying their thought process went: “You stink now, so you can be on our special list, too”?

bitchincamaro June 25, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Anchors and Pendants; awesome new screen name up for grabs!

Cicada June 25, 2008 at 2:36 pm

[re=24406]OzoneDude[/re]:

apolitical
(ā’pə-lĭt’ĭ-kəl) pronunciation adj.

1. Having no interest in or association with politics.

Erm…I don’t think this site has ever been apolitical.

Brain-dead commenters though? Definitely! I have to move my feeding tube out of the way when I type.

mookworthjwilson June 25, 2008 at 2:37 pm

“In contrast, John McCain’s 26 years in Congress, 22 years of military service including 1,966 days in captivity as a POW in Hanoi now seem more impressive than ever. At 71, John McCain may just be hitting his stride.”

If this is McCain’s stride, then I would like to see him in a rut…and if you ask me, those 1966 days are no more valuable than the many days I have spent on my couch watching reruns of 90210…

travellabyrinth June 25, 2008 at 2:46 pm

[re=24415]4tehlulz[/re]: wtf??

[re=24406]OzoneDude[/re]: oh I get it, it’s self-referential? confusing…

ForeignSickSpecialist June 25, 2008 at 2:50 pm

I’m a fox watcher, too. I keeps my eyes peeled for Michelle O., forever immortalized by the patron saint of transcendentalism, James Hendrix in a prescient number entitled “Foxy Lady.”

There are no foxes on Fox. What a rip off.

WadISay June 25, 2008 at 2:55 pm

One the one hand, these people have seriously drunk deep of teh crazy; on the other hand, I have carnal feelings for this Christi Adkins. Actually, the same hand.

FunkyPalmettoBug June 25, 2008 at 2:56 pm

Wow, that hireheel site is pushing on the borders of a fetish site.

nhunter June 25, 2008 at 2:57 pm

Ya got to admit–that site has got a real “grass roots” feel.

bhosp June 25, 2008 at 2:57 pm

They probably assumed Wonkette would be for Hillary because Wonkette is a womyn. Or something. http://www.wynkytte.cym.

Guppy06 June 25, 2008 at 3:00 pm

[re=24432]bitchincamaro[/re]: Sounds more like a gay porn site.

Johnny Zhivago June 25, 2008 at 3:07 pm

Check out Pagens for McCain!!!!

unicow June 25, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Personally, I’m shocked to discover that WorldNetDaily doesn’t support Obama.

How dare they betray my trust!

obfuscator June 25, 2008 at 3:09 pm

[re=24409]Deepthroat[/re]:

Cougar Caucus?

The Dudemeister June 25, 2008 at 3:15 pm

I live in bfe (bum fucked egypt), Indiana. It’s sad to say that I run into people everyday that totally bought into the bullshit “obama is a muslim” e-mail, and actually try to convince other people that he is, based on the e-mail (that is their proof). What’s sad is they think that I’m the sheep being mislead by the media about him not being a muslim. All based off of an e-mail.

SayItWithWookies June 25, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=24406]OzoneDude[/re]: I have a suggestion on how to improve the comments on this site. Wanna guess what it is?

MameDennis June 25, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=24482]The Dudemeister[/re]:

It’s especially ludicrous in face of the real truth, namely, that he’s secretly *Amish*. Hence the lack of flag pin–they aren’t allowed to flash teh shiny. The fist bump? An ancient harvest ritual, signifying the hitching of the wagon to the draft horses.

thefrontpage June 25, 2008 at 3:30 pm

This “list” shows how stupid the listmakers are. Wonkette’s one of the best satirical political web sites out there. Most political news web sites suck. Actually, about 98 percent of them suck.

Big Al1317 June 25, 2008 at 3:37 pm

disenfranchising voters?

WTF – we’ve been disenfranchised for 8 years, maybe longer. Who cares anymore? We elect a bunch of bozos to change things around in the country and they march right in lockstep, goosestep?, with the current administration. Oy vay! We’re doomed.

Deepthroat June 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm

you know who i miss? I miss that chick who was posting links to that horse “lovers” site.

LBOtomist June 25, 2008 at 3:46 pm

[re=24406]OzoneDude[/re]: Why all the hate for Ozone? Banner ads depressing. Check. Commenters brain dead. Check. Wonketters not funny. Check. Did he miss the point that we are all here for the butt-sekses and NSFW links? Sure, but that shouldn’t mean all the PROFESSOINALS have to shit on him, right?

AxmxZ June 25, 2008 at 3:52 pm

[re=24462]nhunter[/re]: More of a “grass stains” feel.

AnnieGetYourFun June 25, 2008 at 3:53 pm

“Nobama Network There is so much you can do. Start here!”

[re=24482]The Dudemeister[/re]: I’ve said it before, but I have a doofus uncle (dittohead, obvs) who believes that (1) the Dixie Chicks should be executed for treason and (2) Obama is a Muslim. I can’t decide if the fact that he is supporting Obama is a sign that he is not as crazy as I thought he was or perhaps actually an Islamofacist. Toss-up.

Q2 June 25, 2008 at 3:54 pm

Fuck those limp-dick eTards. NbNetwork.com is little more than a directory of other eTarded websites…a cornucpoia of eTardedness if you will. Build a site and suddenly your an internet expert and everyone should link to you? Link to this mofos…

http://sf0.org/media/lowteck/mooning16991.jpeg

O M G. W H A T H A V E I D O N E. One thousand Republicans just blew their wad.

bago June 25, 2008 at 4:12 pm

See, you are supposed to peg them for a date on election day so that they are waiting while you get your vote on. And they don’t.

Anita Cocktail June 25, 2008 at 4:26 pm

[re=24365]Walnuts![/re]: MSNBC has talking necklaces? Cool!

Combover June 25, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=24367]Serolf Divad[/re]: Pendants!! Truck Nutz!!

mookworthjwilson June 25, 2008 at 4:45 pm

[re=24529]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: I think it just is a sign of how unremarkable John McCain is…

Dr. Spaceman June 25, 2008 at 5:00 pm

The TPM link is some user profile where he makes fun of people by calling them “cultists” of “ObamaGod.”

http://tpmelectioncentral.talkingpointsmemo.com/profile/Nobama

Gopherit v2.0 June 25, 2008 at 5:28 pm

[re=24367]Serolf Divad[/re]: I want a talking necklace, even if it sounds like Tweety.

Gopherit v2.0 June 25, 2008 at 5:29 pm

You guys should take them up on their offer. Can you imagine the horror of the bitters coming here from there?

snig June 25, 2008 at 5:30 pm

I wonder if they’ll start linking to all the Lieberman fetish sites.

Canuckledragger June 25, 2008 at 5:59 pm

So, now that we’ve got:

PUMA
hcsfjm
Just Say No Deal
and now a hundred others, we have guaranteed hilarity for the next four months, and no possible chance that any of ‘em will achieve a dogdamned thing. Because “these” guys want you to vote for McCan’t, “these” guys want you to write in Hillaryous, “these” guys want you to abstain, “these” guys want you to show up in Denver, etc.

Between them, they couldn’t organize the opening of a letter.

Buncha fuckin’ splitters!

Teehee.

obfuscator June 25, 2008 at 7:06 pm

[re=24602]Combover[/re]:

TruckNutz + pendants = OvaryPendantz!

Lazy Media June 25, 2008 at 10:20 pm

Cliff Notes version of that website:

Words, words, words, words, WORDS, WORDS, WORDS!!11!!11

Lazy Media June 25, 2008 at 10:24 pm

[re=24422]Servo[/re]: whoever. Whomever has to the be the object of a preposition.

Servo June 26, 2008 at 8:35 am

[re=24856]Lazy Media[/re]:
You’re right. But, thou shalt proof read thine own work, my friend. Oops.

gurukalehuru June 26, 2008 at 9:10 am

@lazymedia Whatever.

ThreeFingersNeat June 26, 2008 at 1:15 pm

Introducing a time saving must-have for the avid Fox watcher: Anchor Pendants!

vapo-master November 29, 2008 at 9:14 am

LoL some funny comments here, keep it up!

http://www.volcano-vaporizer-review.com

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: