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Sonny Landham for Senator of Everything!Back in 1987, nobody could have guessed that a bunch of meatheads in a movie about an invisible alien with laser-beam eyes would someday be great American leaders. But then the wonderful state of Minnesota elected Jesse Ventura its governor, and California followed suit with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Now, if Kentuckians play their cards right, they will replace their womanly senator Mitch McConnell with Sonny Landham, who played some dude called “Billy” in Predator. This Landham guy is a real trip! Come along with us on Sonny’s magical journey from porn stardom to the Libertarian party via five wives and a stretch in federal prison.

So let’s see, in the 70s he was in The Porns because “at the time I made the choice of getting a paycheck, staying alive for your big break.”

Then he was in Predator and everything was fantastic, for a time. Many years later he got thrown in prison for 31 months for making threatening phone calls to his ex-wife.

He ran for governor of Kentucky in 2002 but no joy. Somewhere along the line he joined the Libertarian party, and now he is going to totally show that nancy boy Mitch McConnell what’s what.

Wonkette heartily endorses Sonny Landham for Senate so that he can return to his original profession: debasing himself for money.

Former porn actor, ‘Predator’ co-star to run against McConnell [Courier-Journal]

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49 COMMENTS

  1. “I’m not sure which is more of a hurdle for Landham, being a former porn actor or being a Libertarian Party candidate,”

    Bwaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!

    If I’ve offended any libertarians out there with my outburst of laughter, let me say, I’m sincerely sorry, but…

    Bwaaa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!

  2. I understand the Dems fuck somebody’s wife, and Rethugs fuck boys. But, who do libtards fuck. Those might be some wierd-ass 16mm flicks….

  3. “Now he still dabbles in acting, but Social Security checks and an acting pension are his main income.”
    Gee, a Libertarian living on Social Security — um — how ironic. In the Alanis sense, of course.

  4. [re=24108]superfecta[/re]: He would make a great Senator. He would take all the free food at all the dinners he would get to go to and make himself one hell of a stew!

  5. “If I was going to do it now — knowing that I’m going to have four children, knowing that I was going to run for office — no, I wouldn’t make that choice,” he said. “But at the time I made the choice of getting a paycheck, staying alive for your big break.”

    Holy shit. This is all over the place.

  6. “There’s something out there waiting for us, and it ain’t no man . . . We’re all gonna die.” I don’t know why Sonny hasn’t already been named McCain’s running mate.

  7. Billy was the most badass motherfucker in a movie full of badass motherfuckers. He’s got my vote for whatever he wants to run for.

  8. I hear William H. Burton, who played “Guerilla Soldier Shot Down from Tree (uncredited)” in the film, is up for a state house seat in Illinois.

  9. [re=24108]superfecta[/re]: Word on the street is Carl Weathers lives in washington. Growing an army of supersoldiers to go back to predator homeworld and take the fight to them!

  10. Hopefully, instead of an election “Billy” just slashes his chest with a machete and they duel on a large fallen tree in the jungle. That would be cool.

  11. “Now he still dabbles in acting…”
    Old habits die hard, eh Sonny?
    As long as his wang doesn’t make a guest appearance in the in the next AVP movie, I’ll be ok.

  12. I wonder if Ventura put him up to it, so Jesse can come across more mainstream. “I’m not you effete Kennedy fucking, hybrid riding Hollywood left wing (of the Republican party) type who Formerly Acted in Predator (FAP) like Schwarzennager, or your Fascist Right Wing FAP like Sonny, I’m Moderate Midwest Heartland material.” Staking out the middle ground is a time honored way of sounding like the sane one.

  13. Arnold vs. Predator (I): Thing hunt me. Me run…hide…trick thing good. Me kill thing. Thing bad. Kill good. Ergo me good to govern coleefornya. Polls down. Woody down. Asile be bach!

    Good God I enjoyed that movie!

  14. Sonny lives a much better life now? His fifth wife?

    He said Landham lives “a better lifestyle” today, residing in Ashland with his fifth wife and three of his children.

  15. [re=24157]RacerMex[/re]: Actually it is Apollo Creed and Action Jackson running the supersoldier program. Carl Weathers from Predator died.

  16. What the hell kind of telephone calls can you make that result in 31 months of prison? And will you make couple for me if I give you the names and numbers?

  17. [re=24159]ColdCupofHope[/re]:

    You SAY this, but have you seen Mitch McConnell naked?

    i didn’t think so. Ole Mitch would whip his pansy butt.

    “You call yourself a libertarian, eh? Well, meet me in the CAGE, and I’m not talking
    phone sex, either (Sweet baby Jeebus, what kind of phone call nets you two and a half years
    in the cooler?) Sonny boy.”

    There hasn’t been a more physically dangerous man in the Senate since Sam Nunn retired.

  18. [re=24379]artbot2000[/re]: Goddam you artbot2000. That last line made me laugh hysterically outloud, resulting in the Gladys Kravitz, menopausal old bitch with cats in the next office come over and go “what? what? what’s? so funny”….

    Like she would get it.

    Come to think of it…she does somewhat resemble Sam Nunn…..

  19. …”getting tossed out a window by Carl Weathers.”

    Hahaha, defenestrated by Carl Weathers!

    Don’t forget Kentucky’s former Tiger hurler, Congressman Jim Bunning, the fascist rimjob.

  20. [re=24473]Guppy06[/re]: The dead have risen and are voting Republican!

    [re=24157]RacerMex[/re]: Well, we can’t deny that you guys could sure use Captain American right now.

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