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STUFF YOU CAN WANK TO

Creepy Obama Livecam Lets You Stalk Candidate In Real Time

OMG he is on the Internet all the timeOh hey, it’s a live feed of Barack Obama doing stuff! Now you can masturbate to his glorious musings whenever you want to — even at the office. At time of writing he was going blah blah blah about energy policy. Catch this exciting new Internet development while it’s hot! Oh and you might have to hit REFRESH REFRESH to make the thing work. [BarackObama.com]


1:47 PM on Tue June 24 2008
By Sara K. Smith
1220 Views

  1. ManchuCandidate says at 1:50 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Wake me for Barry Michelle sexy fun time.

  2. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:51 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Goddammit Barry, stop shitting all over and debate WALNUTS for gawd sakes. This is upsurd.

  3. vicuna says at 1:52 pm, June 24th, 2008

    If you donate money, will Barry do stuff you request?

  4. Sean O says at 1:52 pm, June 24th, 2008

    ’bout time, I’m sick of waiting a couple of hours to see what Barry’s been doing.

  5. NoWireHangers says at 1:53 pm, June 24th, 2008

    So long as there’s a camera in the shower.

  6. ronaldpagan says at 1:56 pm, June 24th, 2008

    vicuna: Like stripping!

    shortsshortsshorts: I know right?

  7. vicuna says at 1:57 pm, June 24th, 2008

    America “is the Saudi Arabia of coal”. Guess he’s going to get those WV votes.

  8. grundle burrito says at 1:57 pm, June 24th, 2008

    yes! Clean Coal shoutout from Barry. Hez drinkin’ teh Koolaidz.

  9. freakishlystrong says at 1:57 pm, June 24th, 2008

    There’s like 5 hardworkin’ white guys there! They must have teh gayez…

  10. shortsshortsshorts says at 1:59 pm, June 24th, 2008

    “We’re gonna need change. And that change is full of hope.
    My stance on energy- that shit’s gotta change, for reasons of hope. We need to change our policy in the middle-east, so we can have hope. We gotta change our schools, for hope.

    Did I mention I was a civil rights attorney, for change? That was hopeful to.”

  11. grundle burrito says at 2:00 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Did that guy just say he’s studying to be an electrician? Is Barry speaking at some podunk vocational school? WTF(mate)

  12. grundle burrito says at 2:01 pm, June 24th, 2008

    freakishlystrong: Dey tuk ahr Jobz!

  13. Godless Liberal * says at 2:03 pm, June 24th, 2008

    So is this their version of the Ron Paul Blimp Tracker?

    A Pimp Tracker, if you will?

  14. Godless Liberal * says at 2:05 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Also, this would be completely awesome if it were set up kind of like Subservient Chicken.

  15. toastandlove says at 2:06 pm, June 24th, 2008

    God, they really know you to take all the fun out of stalking someone, don’t they?

    Whatever, I still have my jar full of Barry’s toenail clippings. But they’ll probably make those available for download, or something.

  16. HomoPolitico says at 2:06 pm, June 24th, 2008

    So I keep giving money but Barry still has his pants on.

    Worst. Webcam. Ever.

  17. Deepthroat says at 2:08 pm, June 24th, 2008

    what an elitist thing to do…

  18. MathewBrooks says at 2:08 pm, June 24th, 2008

    How the hell is he going to sneak cigarettes now?

  19. 4tehlulz says at 2:11 pm, June 24th, 2008

    My work’s firewall supports John McCain. It’s blocking Senator Camwhore.

  20. XOMuffintop says at 2:13 pm, June 24th, 2008

    When is his webcam gonna team up with Liz Vicious’ for some hot cam on cam action? And they told me I would get tons of other cams with my 39.95 a month but no one is ever on them (especially the Kusinich S and M cam). Sad panda points for me.

  21. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:13 pm, June 24th, 2008

    …if Liz errrrr oops I mean DENNIS Kucinich had one these he would president already!

  22. ThreeFingersNeat says at 2:14 pm, June 24th, 2008

    So we’ve regressed to liveblogging reality TV. November can’t come too soon.

    And what’s with the REFRESH REFRESH business? Sure McCain can offer a pile or Euros or something for someone to invent a better internet.

  23. PioBaroja says at 2:14 pm, June 24th, 2008

    In Soviet Russia, you work for change! In America, Change Works for You!

  24. XOMuffintop says at 2:14 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Also, I love the ever so freudian boom mic shop I am looking at right now.

  25. polar_bear says at 2:14 pm, June 24th, 2008

    I hope it shows him sleeping tonight.

  26. sarcasticusername says at 2:15 pm, June 24th, 2008

    umm do we get to see him uh shower and stuff? because you know it’s important for voters to know that he does ordinary guy stuff; like shower. we wouldn’t want them to keep thinking he’s really a scary muslim guy. just looking out for the voters right to information & stuff, you know.

  27. freakishlystrong says at 2:18 pm, June 24th, 2008

    grundle burrito: ICANHAZARUGULA?

  28. Counting down the hours to a leak of Paris-Hilton-style vid shot with night vision camera. Only instead of sex, there will be cigarettes. And possibly a hint of neck above two undone shirt buttons.

  29. freakishlystrong says at 2:20 pm, June 24th, 2008

    AxmxZ: Goddamn, now I need a cigarette…

  30. Tits_LaRue says at 2:22 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Godless Liberal *: You beat me to posting this particular awareness of all internet traditions! The “Subservient President” Bush one is gone now as far as I can tell, (I think it broke when millions of wingnuts kept typing in commands to ‘make abortions illegal’ and ‘put prayer in schools.’)

  31. sarcasticusername says at 2:26 pm, June 24th, 2008

    will be get to see barry eat bacon for breakfast? because until then he’s still a muslim, as far as i know.

  32. freakishlystrong: Summer is coming. We may yet see Barry campaign with the top two shirt buttons undone. Keep that hope alive.

  33. Walter Sobchak says at 2:29 pm, June 24th, 2008

    McCain has one of these, but it just looks like this:
    http://tinyurl.com/5n5jsc

  34. NoWireHangers says at 2:29 pm, June 24th, 2008

    MathewBrooks: Or trips to his local Mosque?

  35. Walter Sobchak says at 2:37 pm, June 24th, 2008

    sarcasticusername: That gives me a brilliant idea, instead of spending millions trying to debunk those rumors on that website, why doesn’t he just get a nice photo of himself enjoying a mess o’ bacon? (note, i was gonna photoshop one up real quick-like, but it’s pretty hard to find pictures online of people enjoying delicious bacon, for some reason.)

  36. Mabalz Izhari says at 2:39 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Mine says he’s “off air”. Must be a prayer break.

  37. XOMuffintop says at 3:05 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Mabalz Izhari: No, he is just taking a break to plan how to abort all childrenin America, break the capitalist system and bake a delicious fruitcake constitution.

  38. ForeignSickSpecialist says at 3:06 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Walter Sobchak: What the Obamas are secretly omitting is the fact they eat TURKEY bacon. I do the same, but I don’t omit the TURKEY part. Cuz I’m not claiming no Izlam or Judahizm… and Old Testament followers are the true anti- Jeebuses.

    I am a follower of Uncle Ruckus…

  39. ForeignSickSpecialist says at 3:08 pm, June 24th, 2008

    ForeignSickSpecialist: Cuz should be But, of course.

  40. Enturbulator says at 3:11 pm, June 24th, 2008

    And the “look at my powerful chin” pic for when he’s having a smoke…

    GAK!

    …poked muh damn eye out…

  41. 1974 (again) says at 4:05 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Somehow I’ve got to see this video.
    Refresh
    Refresh - exciting
    He’s so exciting to me!
    Refresh
    Refresh - exciting
    He’s so inviting to me
    Yeah!

    – With apologies to Kool and the Gang

  42. tacdab says at 6:53 pm, June 24th, 2008

    What’s with the constant masturbatory references Sara? (not bad for one-hand typinnnnnnnnnnnnnng. Ahh.)

  43. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 4:42 am, June 25th, 2008

    Thank God. I was starting to worry that there was not enough voyeurism on the web.

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