Wonkette
- RICHARD COHEN HAS LASER VISION, CAN SEE INTO MEN’S SOULS: “In some recent magazine articles, I and certain of my colleagues have been accused of being soft on McCain, forgiving him his flips, his flops and his mostly conservative ideology. I do not plead guilty to this charge, because, over the years, the man’s imperfections have not escaped my keen eye.” [Washington Post]
Altogether now:
“I’ve got laser eyes!
And I know what you’re thinking!
It’s comes as no surprise!
Christmas lights are blinking!
And I’m so curious and i’m so curious and i’m so curious and I GOT LASER EYES!!”
…eye of Sauron?!
The Real JR Revisted:
(Best song ever)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJHOtzXNqIk
“The man’s imperfections have not escaped my keen eye. They have, however, escaped my lazy eye quite easily.”
Not to be confused with the Richard Cohen that can turn teh gays into teh str8s.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_A._Cohen
Maybe with those keen eyes he can look at the top of McCaINS head and that that old fuck is bald up there.
…no wonder he is always staring at WALNUTS! crotch. Ewwwwwww!
He has the queer eye? Not surprised.
Shouldn’t a columnist for the Washington Post use grammar correctly?
Keen eye? Meh. I give Cohen the dreaded STINK EYE. Muahahahaha!
I was hoping Wonkette would get to this. In all seriousness, this is the dumbest op-ed I’ve ever read in a major newspaper. Including Kristol’s.
“In some recent magazine articles, I and certain of my colleagues have been accused of being soft on McCain, forgiving him his flips, his flops and his mostly conservative ideology. I do not plead guilty to this charge, because, over the years, the man’s imperfections have not escaped my keen eye.”
This makes absolutely no sense.
Dammit, I”m pissy ’cause I don’t want the black guy to win but it looks like he’s gonna ’cause the white guy is old and boring. There, I’ve said it all.
Cohen can attest to various imperfections in certain parts of John McCain’s anatomy with which he is intimately familiar.
El Bombastico: …the level of stupidity defecated onto the NYT by Kristol can ONLY be eclipsed by Kristol!!!
So, Wally can flip-flop, and that’s fine because at one point in time he did something honorable.
Obama, however, cannot because he’s young, and immensely popular. (Oh yeah, and a Dem.)
Sheesh.
What the hell is this jibber-jabber about? It literally makes no sense and I think he contradicts himself several times. This is the most ironic column I’ve read in at least 30 minutes.
….besides, Cohen looks like he’s the love child of a woodchuck and an oscillating fan….
Let me see if I understand this piece correctly. The author noticed McCain’s innumerable flip-flops, and admits he never commented on them in print before now, so that’s ok. But we’ve never seen how Obama might behave if he were ever captured by the Vietnamese in the 60s and, since that’s the only meaningful crtiterion by which to select the next President of the United States, we should vote for McCain.
By whom are this guy’s meanderings taken seriously and why should we care?
MoodProcessor: Someone needs to just come out and say that John McCain flip flops and forgets things because THAT’S WHAT OLD GEEZERS DO. It’s right up there with cursing at people, bumping into things, and trying to invade Iran.
I like how he throws out McCain’s flip flops and then kinda dismisses them with “there, I said it.”
His eyes, they are sharp like a home Laser Tag kit.
Dick Cohen is the worst columnist on the face of the Earth. He wrote one of the stupidest pro-Iraq war columns, and later said he knew he was wrong right away. He also thought Stephen Colbert’s speech in front of the WA Press Corps wasn’t funny because he knew what was funny.
plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose
Oh, merde.
MoodProcessor: Right. The only sense I can make out of this column, for want of a better word, is that Cohen identifies with McCain for all his infirmities, because he’s old, and Cohen can’t stand the thought of somebody a generation younger than him taking the White House. The fact is that for all his “Maverick” tag nonsense, McCain is the embodiment of a geriatric, crotchety, incontinent, reactionary old fart - just like Cohen - except Cohen can add pretentious to that list of attributes.
Also, I think we should call these North Vietnamese job references of McCain’s and ask them if he used to take long lunch breaks or bomb out the office bathroom in the morning.
So here’s his lede:
“In politics, we’re having a Jean-Baptiste Alphonse Karr kind of year.”
Do you suppose one reader in 100 reads past that??
nhunter:
Yet another Hero worshipper. They tend to overlook the truth and shortcomings of their Heroes, even if it may have dire consequences. The current McInsane would be better off going alone on Alzheimic “walkies”.
‘(Obama) is still young and lacks the job references McCain picked up in a North Vietnamese prison’
I really don’t understand what the fuck this sentance actually means.
Being “keen” is to be recognized as having outstanding perception. As this applies to other people it can only be verified by the observed (anything less than noteworthy can be revealed by people who are simply “not blind” or “alive, awake, and looking in that direction”) so to call oneself “keen” is the descriptive equivalent of jerking off. Bien sur? Et pourquoi est-ce que il y a des chevaux dans la four? Hooray! Nous tous les deux avons pris des Francais dans lycee!
Where even to begin? Yeah, the lede is really bombastic and clumsy at that — why the hell invoke someone nobody’s ever heard of to introduce a saying that everyone has heard of?
But beyond that is the real MC Escher impossible triangle holding up this essay: In spite of McCain’s flip-flops on many important issues, and his renunciation of his maverick values, you know what you’re going to get with him. However, since Obama has decided to raise huge amounts of money, he’s a totally unknown quantity. Point McCain. Um…right. “Nevermind the beam in McCain’s eye — look at that mote in Obama’s!”
Oh, and I guess this means ol’ Mr. Cohen was for John Kerry back in ‘04?
he is Cyclops (aka Scott Summers) from X men
MathewBrooks: MoDowd would say he’s Marvel Girl.
I am the eye in the sky, lookin’ at yoooouuuuu… I can read your mind.
Keep in mind: the most recent Cohen column in the Post will be the dumbest thing ever written, at least until Jonah Goldberg excretes another corn-laden floatie onto the pages of the LA Times.
Uncle Al: It’s kind of like kicking off the column with “As I was perusing my first edition of Marcel Proust’s Recherche Les Temps Perdue the other day, it occurred to me that I speak French and therefore am really a whole lot smarter than you pathetic miserable daily newspaper readers.” What a fucking blowhard.