Wonkette
America, Hillary Clinton needs your help. In a new video released from her underground bunker in Chappaqua, she talks about how awesome it was to meet you all in rope lines. Meanwhile, a big red CONTRIBUTE button looms nearby. It is like this lady wants money or something. [HillaryClinton.com]
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Hillary Clinton’s Video Plea: More Hot Dollars Plz!
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9:35 AM
on Tue June 24 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
1014 Views
She can’t live on ramen noodles and 80/20 ground beef for much longer. HELP HER!
Hey, girlfriend has bills to pay. She has a lot of loans to pay back to … um, herself.
Viccoden, Crown Royale and other substances to dim the pain of losing her dream as Empress of US America ain’t as cheap as it used to be.
I’ll be happy to lend her my bindle. But I have a feeling I’m gonna need it back pretty soon.
…ok guys, now this is just getting pitiful! I feel half-way(emphasis on HALF) sorry for her.
The only time I contribute to a woman when seeing an online video, a donkey and three midgets are also involved.
Give me money now or I’ll take it all back and run again! I mean it! Here I go! I’m starting to run! My friends . . .
Meh. I’ll donate when she sings “You’ll never walk alone” like Jerry Lewis does every year(bonus money for hillary if she sings it with a lozenge in her mouth like Jerry does).
Want money Mrs. Clinton? Air this message during Saturday Morning, when all the kids are awake with their toys in hand, waiting for the next episode of Hannah Montana. Then BEG each and every viewing child to sell their possesions, get a job, and donate all the money they have to pay off her debt. If you support Hillary Clinton, then the cash amount of what you have will surely suffice.
Man, that “Contribute” button is bigger’n her head…
Has anyone checked the back advertisements of Soldier of Fortune magazine lately? I wouldn’t be surprised if she needs the money to take a hit on Hopey before the convention.
…Hillz better get to work making a high efficiency BATTERY like the rest of us!!!
Okay, if she wants dollars she’s gonna have to pimp Chelsea out. I’m not taking a Hillz lap dance. I need to be able to walk afterward.
“by helping us pay off our campaign debt, you’re not just helping Hillary elect a democratic president…”
wouldn’t paying Obama help even more with that?
If I contribute, do I get a nice totebag or DVD set of the latest BritCom?
I like the $ sign on the Contribute button, for the No Child Left Behind victims.
Hillz should pull a John McCain and take out an interest free AMEX card that lets her roll over 500K in charges. Shit, I should pull a John McCain and take out an interest free AMEX card that lets me roll over 500K in charges. Why doesn’t that offer ever show up in my junk mail???
http://consumerist.com/tag/financial-disclosure/?i=5016592&t=what-kinds-of-card-debt-are-the-presidential-candidates-carrying
freakishlystrong: Before she lost, when she was still a DOM, the button was called, “Submit.”
Hey Hillz, I got 7 words for you: “Can a nigga get a table dance?”
AngryBlakGuy: I sort of did, too, and then remembered how horribly she managed her campaign, threw money at slugs like Mark Penn for no apparent reason, and continued spending long after it was clear she should stop. This is like bailing out some moran who went on a shopping spree at Neiman Marcus for clothes two sizes too small because some day she might win the lottery, be able to pay for them, and afford a trainer to fit into the clothes.
ManchuCandidate: Leftover Bitch Kitsch, if anything. The way Hillz and Barry became superstars overseas,though, you could probably sell some old Hillz kitsch in your hometown in Manchuria and do your part to heal America’s trade imbalance.
ManchuCandidate: more likely a travel mug with a lid that leaks.
She’s dead, Jim.
Servo: …Im guessing she was one of the guys in the RED uniforms?!
No, Hills, that’s not what “Bank of America” means.
I’m guessing about 1.2 Amps DC to make those eyes bug like that.
Too bad she doesn’t really have the spine she says she does, and McCain isn’t really the maverick he says he is, or the solution is obvious: McCain-Clinton ‘08.
Big deal, it’s not like she’s the first woman to ask for money after a breakup.
Paultardville: Heh. Right on.
Wait a sec here….aren’t the Clintons still richy-rich, though. This is fucking shameless.
MoodProcessor: …dooping clueless people into paying your bills isn’t shameless. I think women call it an “relationship” or a “date”! Damn right I’m bitter!!!
AngryBlakGuy: ok, chill. There are plenty of male moochers out there who lie around while their female partner does all the work in the house and outside, and plenty of women (I am one) who would not be caught dead asking for or taking alimony. Frankly, I think alimony (as traditionally applied, which is with the assumption it goes to the woman) is about as sexist a concept as there is out there. It is essentially prostitution with retroactive payment.
Doglessliberal: …relax, my snark intensity is set to 10 this morning because I cant seem to find any caffeinated beverages!
Doglessliberal: Hey, lighten up on the marital asset spilt thing…
AngryBlakGuy: Let’s all remember, only Bill married Hill…
and to anybody out there who thinks having a hundred million dollars, his and hers mansions, complete with staff, is anywhere near broke… I’d like to offer myself up for adoption. Thanks.
Doglessliberal: …and besides my taste in women should probably reflect more poorly on me then women in general.
Little Dalton Hatfield may have sold his bike and X-Box, but he might have a college fund out there. What say you, Dalton? Mama needs to maintain liquidity.
Hillary IS America … which is why she should ask China for debt relief.
I can just see Barack sitting at his computer late at night, grazing his cursor tantalizingly over Hill’s donate button, finger hovering over the mouse in pre-double-click mode… and then veering over to favorites and clicking on Cute Overload instead.
AngryBlakGuy: graceless: sorry! Sense of humor set back to normal.
Hillary’s trying to get some paper. She’s trying to cover her car note. We know Bill’s got his hustle on, but Hillary needs some mad, mad dollars.
I saw Hilz on that New York magazine cover last week. The gal grubbing for handouts in this vid bears some resemblance to her–her mom or great aunt, perhaps?
AngryBlakGuy: no, I was just being a poop. Sorry again.
edgydrifter: “Photoshop: When You Don’t Have Time for a Facelift.”
Servo: Haha yes! It’s like her campaign’s nod to the fact that people who voted for her work mainly behind McDonald’s cash registers.
I’ll call at 3 a.m. with my credit card number handy.
Doglessliberal: …nah, don’t worry about it! First of all I don’t take anything on Wonkette all that serious. And secondly I know have poor taste in women, hence my alcohol dependency!
Doglessliberal: Ya well, no snark, but I disagree with you about alimony. Studies show that most men marry “beneath” their class level. As long as society keeps pushing the cult of marriage on folks, and with all the rights at the state level either resting too heavily with the men or the wealthiest spouse, sometimes alimony is the fairest outcome for an individual. That’s not sexism, that’s the dollar dollar bill.
She can have the change under my couch, and in my car’s ashtray, as long as I can personally stick coin up her ass.
Doglessliberal: What’s wrong with prostitution with retroactive payment? Is that a trick question?
“By help us pay off our campaign debt . . . ”
To quote Tonto when he and the Lone Ranger were surrounded by an entire tribe of murdering, bloodthirsty SAVAGES: “Watch the use of those collective pronouns, White Man!”
**&^$
“By helping us pay off . . . .”
I still can’t proofread for *&^$#@
Just roll over and ask Bill for the TWENTY MILLION BUCKS. Go through his pockets and billfold. He’s got it.
Isn’t in kind of pathetic when someone forth FIFTY MILLION DOLLARS begs for MONEY! Rich people used to fell that begging for money was beneath them!
Bill should turn out bof o’ dem bitches, Hillary and Chelsea. Put dem lilly-white asses out on da skreet…make dat paper.
Nuh uh, I’m keeping my bicycle, lady. ‘Specially since I ain’t gettin’ no gas rebate since you throwed yerself under the bus.
Just when I thought she might be starting to pretend to be gracious, she brought up the 18 million crack-glass ceiling again. Yes, Hillary, go on pushing the idea that it was Sexism that defeated you. Inspired by our dear Walnuts, I have one sexist expletive for her: “cunt.”
Darehead: input type=button value=submit onclick=screw(leatherboot.stillettoheel.shove.checked);