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HOMOSEXUALS

Gay Governor Charlie Crist Makes Up Girlfriend In Interview

The New York Times Magazine’s Deborah Solomon has a reputation for being very “forward” in her weekly interviews. Or sometimes it’s just very unprepared, like that time she asked Stephen Colbert about his dad, and Colbert said his dad died in a plane crash when he was 10, and Solomon responded, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Ha ha, weird! She is terribly awkward, which made this Sunday’s interview with Florida’s secretly gay Governor Charlie Crist such a profound occasion.

They talk about dumb things for most of the interview. Nothing really “meaty.” But just as you’re thinking, “GODDAMNIT, DEBORAH, ASK HIM ABOUT THE SECRET GAY FUCKING, YOU FUCKING PHILISTINE,” she asks, “Your personal life is not that of a typical Republican candidate. For starters, I hear you’re not a property owner.” Now that is one clutch segue. How else is his personal life, say, different?

You were married nearly 30 years ago, but the marriage lasted less than a year. Do you prefer living alone? I got married and divorced because it didn’t work out. I haven’t found the right one since. It’s really that simple.

You can’t find one woman in all of Florida? Maybe I have. Stay tuned.

And then Crist’s mother appeared in the interview room, knocked out Solomon, and repeatedly asked her son, “Why can’t I meet this nice girl?” Crist said that his gal is very shy and does not like to be pressured so BACK OFF.

Is He The Ticket? [NYT Magazine]


5:02 PM on Mon June 23 2008
By Jim Newell
14082 Views

  1. catastrophina says at 5:06 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    I lol’ed big time at that interview and accompanying super-gay photo.

  2. stankfest says at 5:08 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    This governor is just like that great pianist, Lee Liberace. Lee also never foung the “right woman”.

  3. SayItWithWookies says at 5:09 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    OhpleaseletitbeKitty. OhpleaseletitbeKitty. OhpleaseletitbeKitty. OhpleaseletitbeKitty.

  4. greatgooglymoogly says at 5:10 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    “Secretly?” If you’d never even heard of the guy, once you read the interview you could have had no other impression than, “Oh, yeah, he’s gay.”

  5. nowukkers says at 5:11 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Mrs Corky St Clair remains missing. Does anyone know her whereabouts?

  6. greatgooglymoogly says at 5:12 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    SayItWithWookies: That … would be … the best … EVER!!

  7. edgydrifter says at 5:12 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Charlie told me his girlfriend lives in Canada, and that she’s a model. He’s going to go visit her this summer after he goes to band camp.

  8. Quacker says at 5:12 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    He’d be perfect. He looks just like all the villains in CSI:Miami. He could get into ANY club he wants, and he’s hiding something. Wonder what it is?

  9. Electric Zen says at 5:13 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    You know, if videos surfaced of Crist getting a Cleveland Steamer from Barney Frank, I could get past it just fine.

    But this dude actually pretend-fucked Katherine Harris a while back. The horrible images won’t leave my mind. This I can not forgive.

  10. populucious says at 5:14 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Well, part of the problem may be that I’m looking for a woman with a penis, who isn’t actually a woman at all, but a man, but I’ma gonna keep looking. Somewhere the perfect gal for me is out there, and if I have to look in every men’s room south of the Mason Dixon line to find her…I will.

  11. Vanity Smurf says at 5:14 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver….

  12. weirdiowasculpture says at 5:16 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    There’s only one way to tell for certain: we make Charlie watch the John Cornyn ad and see if it gets him hard.

  13. Dave J. says at 5:16 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    “Property owner,” is that code?

  14. ronaldpagan says at 5:18 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    edgydrifter: Hahahaha that is exactly what I was gonna say! Great minds etc.

  15. anabellum says at 5:19 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    personally, i dont care about his sexual orientation…

    but that is bar-none the most stupid interview ive ever read…

    is Deborah Solomon still in high school?…

  16. Sussemilch says at 5:19 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    He’s dating a mystery woman named “Ann” in Palm Beach.

  17. ronaldpagan says at 5:21 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    McCain, please pick this queermo as a running mate!

    Here’s a serious question for anyone on Wonkette: does McCain have any VP options who aren’t complete and total jokes that will end up hurting him hardcore? There’s Jindal, Crist, Lieberman, Romney, Bloomberg, Giuliani, Condi, Huckabee (if those last three are still options), and they’re all majorly unelectable.

  18. Uncle Al says at 5:27 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Everybody shut up. I keep hearing that Crist is on McCain’s list of possible VPs. We don’t want to queer that deal.

    Hah! (Chris Matthews voice)

  19. AngryBlakGuy says at 5:29 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    …I managed to find a photo of his GIRLFREIND!

    http://wobilog.web-log.nl/photos/uncategorized/crossdresser.jpg

  20. ManchuCandidate says at 5:30 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Debbie is the very least, Larry King in drag with the general stupidity of the questions and not prepping with a bit of yenta thrown in.

  21. Godless Liberal * says at 5:32 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Please, it’s Adam Putnam and we all know it. Just as soon as he divorces his beard, he and Charlie are going to make sweet beautiful orange love.

  22. El Bombastico says at 5:32 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    ronaldpagan: I would guess that they’ve already picked Pawlenty. I don’t see any significant downside with him, aside from lack of name recognition, but that’s probably a plus in today’s GOP.

  23. anabellum says at 5:32 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    ronaldpagan: OMG Clueless Condi…i hadnt thought of that…

    of course that footage of her buying shoes in Atlanta while New Orleans drowns might be a problem…..not to mention her ‘house mate’…

    but what fun to imagine!!!!….

    you’ve given me hope…

  24. greatgooglymoogly says at 5:32 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    ronaldpagan: Governor Rick Perry in Texas wants it so bad he will lick a bad cat for the job. Plus his house just burned down so, you know, he’s available.

  25. NoWireHangers says at 5:33 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    “Girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know - it’s serious…”

  26. PrairiePossum says at 5:33 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    I wonder if he found his girlfriend in the men’s restroom.

  27. anabellum says at 5:38 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    greatgooglymoogly: Perry has THE major prerequisite for being McCains VP nailed….nice hair…

    and his best friend is Ted Nugent….

    sounds like a wining combo to me…

  28. DemmeFatale says at 5:39 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: LMAO!

  29. freakishlystrong says at 5:45 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    PrairiePossum: Yah, she had a “wide stance”…

  30. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:46 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Vanity Smurf: Damn beat me to it. Dead on.

  31. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:47 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Sussemilch: I though it was Rosey in Palm.

  32. Gopherit v2.0 says at 5:52 pm, June 23rd, 2008
  33. KevoTron says at 6:11 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Yes, there is a woman in his life. I hear Charlie has even been spotted shopping for “her clothes.” Including a fetching little pantsuit.

  34. ronaldpagan says at 6:23 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    El Bombastico: greatgooglymoogly: Lame. From their Wikipedia entries, Pawlenty and Perry don’t look like they have any major skeletons in their closet. No one tell the GOP.

  35. shortsshortsshorts says at 6:24 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Women with penises don’t count, Charlie.

  36. graceless says at 6:33 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Right one? Not right woman? I bet he’s doing Mike Piazza.

  37. masterdebater says at 6:33 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    I have heard that finding the right woman IS tough…espcially if you want her to come complete with a working penis and all.

  38. Vanity Smurf says at 6:36 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    ronaldpagan: Perry is almost as gay as Crist. He just only does it with other married dudes so it’s hard to get anything on him into the press. Probably more of a bi swinger type.

  39. DemmeFatale says at 6:39 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Ill-fitting suits?
    Blousy, over-sized vest?
    Pleated, baggy pants?
    Charlie is trying too hard to look butch.

    TOTALLY (closeted) GAY!!

  40. ronaldpagan says at 6:41 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Vanity Smurf: HA yes. Some enterprising Wonkette-reader needs to solicit him at a TGI Fridays.

  41. Tits_LaRue says at 6:46 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    He does have a girlfriend, but it’s weird, all her friends are men and she lets them all call her a “hag.” Still, I’m so glad he’s found someone after 30 years!

  42. MC_Bob says at 7:05 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    In Mr. Crist’s defense: As a great man once told me, “you’re not gay if you’re on top.”

    Oh……upon further reflection, never mind.

  43. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 7:41 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Crist: Let’s put the Vice back in Vice President.

  44. shortsshortsshorts says at 8:10 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    He should also be a Republican, for dramatic effect.

  45. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 8:41 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Actually, how is making up a girlfriend? He just says that there is “somebody.” And its the same week that California started letting the gayez marry. Just sayin’.

  46. ronaldpagan says at 8:45 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Lionel Hutz Esq.: Bestiality is legal in Florida, so maybe his special someone is an adorable golden retriever puppy.

  47. hrhkingfriday says at 8:49 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    WALNUTS! super (geigh) dream team

    Veep = Lindsey Graham
    Sec. State = Charlie Crist
    Sec. Def. = Cheney
    AG = Larry Craig

  48. Joey Ratz says at 8:54 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    ronaldpagan: Wasn’t Haley Barbour everybody’s pick to be the VP a couple of years ago? Of course, I haven’t heard any mention of him in a while, but, being a fat Southern dipshit with an incomprehensible accent, he would certainly appeal to the Republican base.

    Me, I want Johnny Mac to run with Sonny Perdue.

  49. ExecutorElassus says at 9:03 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    jeez, that was the dumbest interview, like, ever. Here, I’ll condense it for those of you who don’t need any more reasons to drink today:

    Debbie: I read some factoid! What do you think of [random factoid]?
    Gov. Fancybritches: that’s a factoid.
    Debbie: …
    Debbie thinks: omg! He’s so GAY!
    The end!

    Time to hit that scotch.

  50. artbot2000 says at 9:52 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    Electric Zen:

    Was this before or after the boob upgrade?

    Thing is, though, once you read about dating Miss Kitty, you KNEW he was gay.

  51. GideonGlib says at 10:14 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    The Republicans have tried the dumb, fundamentalist, anti-environment route, maybe going with Crist might work better for the republicans?

  52. S.Luggo says at 10:49 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    stankfest: Plus, Charlie believes in searching for hydrocarbon deposits off-shore. Notice that, instead of “hydrocarbon deposits”, I did not say, “Homo Fuck Gel”. I respect the gays.

  53. Unindicted Co-Conspirator says at 10:51 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    ronaldpagan:
    Pawlenty has that little problem of the bridge that fell down on his watch.
    Perry tried keeping up the killing machine of the Texas prison system, but there’s a temporary hold right now. He tried to out do his predecessor, our current halfwit at 1600 Penna. Ave. One of these days, DNA will prove that one of the people he signed off on killing turned out to be the wrong guy.
    Then the sit hits the fan & Perry.

    Plus Perry probably burned the governor’s mansion to hide something he did.

  54. American Dreamer says at 11:59 pm, June 23rd, 2008

    The rumor down here in Palm Beach is that Crist is dating a female socialite who is married. I guess that is good enough in the Republican play book.

  55. jasonelias says at 12:15 am, June 24th, 2008

    Check out that “stay tuned.” Stay tuned for what? The next time he has sex with a dude?

  56. KTHXBAI says at 2:53 am, June 24th, 2008

    Yeah I remember telling my parents I hadn’t found the right girl either. I was pretty much saying that all the way up until the point I was fucking guys.

    He’ll find her eventually. Her name will be Stephen.

  57. gurukalehuru says at 8:04 am, June 24th, 2008

    I’m sure that we can find Pawlenty of shit on the governor, and de facto airport men’s room chief administrator,of the great state of Minnesota.

  58. Crapola says at 8:56 am, June 24th, 2008

    Oompa, Loompa doompa-dee-do.
    I’ve got a little riddle for you.
    Ooompa, Loompa doompa-dee-day.
    OMFG! Crist is totally gay!

    What do you do when the Gov. loves the dick?
    Endorse the corpse, hope to be his Veep pick.
    Screw all the schools, firefighters, and cops.
    Say all the homeowners who want their $200 bucks.

    I hope your fucking houses burn.

    Oompa, Loompa doompa-dee-da.
    If you use KY your ass will not scar.
    Live in the closet without a clue.
    Like the Ommpa Loompa doompa-dee-do.

  59. 4tehlulz says at 9:23 am, June 24th, 2008

    >>Women with penises don’t count, Charlie.

    But she was from Thailand! She said the’re all like that there!

  60. Lazy Media says at 9:56 am, June 24th, 2008

    Crapola: Four whore diamonds!

  61. RobPetrified says at 10:32 am, June 24th, 2008

    Tits_LaRue:
    Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner.
    Two snaps with a circle.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXf6oYafHtQ

  62. cookiebastard says at 10:53 am, June 24th, 2008

    He is of Greek descent.

  63. Matthew Crunt says at 11:58 am, June 24th, 2008

    Hold on! We need to conduct some tests. Does Charlie have a “tan line”? Does he drop pennies on the men’s room floor near the urinals? Does he pick up the pennies? Are his gerbils missing? If the answers are NO, YES, YES and “YES”, he’s dating Jethro Bush, W’s smart brother.

  64. Banzai77 says at 12:11 pm, June 24th, 2008

    Of course Crist is gay. After all, he is a Republican.

  65. raider12 says at 12:43 pm, June 24th, 2008

    I always thought that Crist looks like the (gay) character that Tommy Lee Jones played in “JFK”.

  66. belmonttau says at 1:39 pm, June 24th, 2008

    He looks like a Will Forte character from SNL (no offense to Will Forte).

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