HOMOSEXUALS  5:02 pm June 23, 2008

Gay Governor Charlie Crist Makes Up Girlfriend In Interview

by Jim Newell

The New York Times Magazine‘s Deborah Solomon has a reputation for being very “forward” in her weekly interviews. Or sometimes it’s just very unprepared, like that time she asked Stephen Colbert about his dad, and Colbert said his dad died in a plane crash when he was 10, and Solomon responded, “I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” Ha ha, weird! She is terribly awkward, which made this Sunday’s interview with Florida’s secretly gay Governor Charlie Crist such a profound occasion.

They talk about dumb things for most of the interview. Nothing really “meaty.” But just as you’re thinking, “GODDAMNIT, DEBORAH, ASK HIM ABOUT THE SECRET GAY FUCKING, YOU FUCKING PHILISTINE,” she asks, “Your personal life is not that of a typical Republican candidate. For starters, I hear you’re not a property owner.” Now that is one clutch segue. How else is his personal life, say, different?

You were married nearly 30 years ago, but the marriage lasted less than a year. Do you prefer living alone? I got married and divorced because it didn’t work out. I haven’t found the right one since. It’s really that simple.

You can’t find one woman in all of Florida? Maybe I have. Stay tuned.

And then Crist’s mother appeared in the interview room, knocked out Solomon, and repeatedly asked her son, “Why can’t I meet this nice girl?” Crist said that his gal is very shy and does not like to be pressured so BACK OFF.

Is He The Ticket? [NYT Magazine]


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catastrophina June 23, 2008 at 5:06 pm

I lol’ed big time at that interview and accompanying super-gay photo.

stankfest June 23, 2008 at 5:08 pm

This governor is just like that great pianist, Lee Liberace. Lee also never foung the “right woman”.

SayItWithWookies June 23, 2008 at 5:09 pm

OhpleaseletitbeKitty. OhpleaseletitbeKitty. OhpleaseletitbeKitty. OhpleaseletitbeKitty.

greatgooglymoogly June 23, 2008 at 5:10 pm

“Secretly?” If you’d never even heard of the guy, once you read the interview you could have had no other impression than, “Oh, yeah, he’s gay.”

nowukkers June 23, 2008 at 5:11 pm

Mrs Corky St Clair remains missing. Does anyone know her whereabouts?

greatgooglymoogly June 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm

[re=22722]SayItWithWookies[/re]: That … would be … the best … EVER!!

edgydrifter June 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Charlie told me his girlfriend lives in Canada, and that she’s a model. He’s going to go visit her this summer after he goes to band camp.

Quacker June 23, 2008 at 5:12 pm

He’d be perfect. He looks just like all the villains in CSI:Miami. He could get into ANY club he wants, and he’s hiding something. Wonder what it is?

Electric Zen June 23, 2008 at 5:13 pm

You know, if videos surfaced of Crist getting a Cleveland Steamer from Barney Frank, I could get past it just fine.

But this dude actually pretend-fucked Katherine Harris a while back. The horrible images won’t leave my mind. This I can not forgive.

populucious June 23, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Well, part of the problem may be that I’m looking for a woman with a penis, who isn’t actually a woman at all, but a man, but I’ma gonna keep looking. Somewhere the perfect gal for me is out there, and if I have to look in every men’s room south of the Mason Dixon line to find her…I will.

Vanity Smurf June 23, 2008 at 5:14 pm

Her name is Alberta, she lives in Vancouver….

weirdiowasculpture June 23, 2008 at 5:16 pm

There’s only one way to tell for certain: we make Charlie watch the John Cornyn ad and see if it gets him hard.

Dave J. June 23, 2008 at 5:16 pm

“Property owner,” is that code?

ronaldpagan June 23, 2008 at 5:18 pm

[re=22731]edgydrifter[/re]: Hahahaha that is exactly what I was gonna say! Great minds etc.

anabellum June 23, 2008 at 5:19 pm

personally, i dont care about his sexual orientation…

but that is bar-none the most stupid interview ive ever read…

is Deborah Solomon still in high school?…

Sussemilch June 23, 2008 at 5:19 pm

He’s dating a mystery woman named “Ann” in Palm Beach.

ronaldpagan June 23, 2008 at 5:21 pm

McCain, please pick this queermo as a running mate!

Here’s a serious question for anyone on Wonkette: does McCain have any VP options who aren’t complete and total jokes that will end up hurting him hardcore? There’s Jindal, Crist, Lieberman, Romney, Bloomberg, Giuliani, Condi, Huckabee (if those last three are still options), and they’re all majorly unelectable.

Uncle Al June 23, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Everybody shut up. I keep hearing that Crist is on McCain’s list of possible VPs. We don’t want to queer that deal.

Hah! (Chris Matthews voice)

AngryBlakGuy June 23, 2008 at 5:29 pm

…I managed to find a photo of his GIRLFREIND!


ManchuCandidate June 23, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Debbie is the very least, Larry King in drag with the general stupidity of the questions and not prepping with a bit of yenta thrown in.

Godless Liberal * June 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm

Please, it’s Adam Putnam and we all know it. Just as soon as he divorces his beard, he and Charlie are going to make sweet beautiful orange love.

El Bombastico June 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=22749]ronaldpagan[/re]: I would guess that they’ve already picked Pawlenty. I don’t see any significant downside with him, aside from lack of name recognition, but that’s probably a plus in today’s GOP.

anabellum June 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=22749]ronaldpagan[/re]: OMG Clueless Condi…i hadnt thought of that…

of course that footage of her buying shoes in Atlanta while New Orleans drowns might be a problem…..not to mention her ‘house mate’…

but what fun to imagine!!!!….

you’ve given me hope…

greatgooglymoogly June 23, 2008 at 5:32 pm

[re=22749]ronaldpagan[/re]: Governor Rick Perry in Texas wants it so bad he will lick a bad cat for the job. Plus his house just burned down so, you know, he’s available.

NoWireHangers June 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm

“Girlfriend in a coma, I know, I know – it’s serious…”

PrairiePossum June 23, 2008 at 5:33 pm

I wonder if he found his girlfriend in the men’s restroom.

anabellum June 23, 2008 at 5:38 pm

[re=22764]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: Perry has THE major prerequisite for being McCains VP nailed….nice hair…

and his best friend is Ted Nugent….

sounds like a wining combo to me…

DemmeFatale June 23, 2008 at 5:39 pm

[re=22756]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: LMAO!

freakishlystrong June 23, 2008 at 5:45 pm

[re=22766]PrairiePossum[/re]: Yah, she had a “wide stance”…

Gopherit v2.0 June 23, 2008 at 5:46 pm

[re=22738]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Damn beat me to it. Dead on.

Gopherit v2.0 June 23, 2008 at 5:47 pm

[re=22748]Sussemilch[/re]: I though it was Rosey in Palm.

Gopherit v2.0 June 23, 2008 at 5:52 pm

[re=22738]Vanity Smurf[/re]:

KevoTron June 23, 2008 at 6:11 pm

Yes, there is a woman in his life. I hear Charlie has even been spotted shopping for “her clothes.” Including a fetching little pantsuit.

ronaldpagan June 23, 2008 at 6:23 pm

[re=22762]El Bombastico[/re]: [re=22764]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: Lame. From their Wikipedia entries, Pawlenty and Perry don’t look like they have any major skeletons in their closet. No one tell the GOP.

shortsshortsshorts June 23, 2008 at 6:24 pm

Women with penises don’t count, Charlie.

graceless June 23, 2008 at 6:33 pm

Right one? Not right woman? I bet he’s doing Mike Piazza.

masterdebater June 23, 2008 at 6:33 pm

I have heard that finding the right woman IS tough…espcially if you want her to come complete with a working penis and all.

Vanity Smurf June 23, 2008 at 6:36 pm

[re=22814]ronaldpagan[/re]: Perry is almost as gay as Crist. He just only does it with other married dudes so it’s hard to get anything on him into the press. Probably more of a bi swinger type.

DemmeFatale June 23, 2008 at 6:39 pm

Ill-fitting suits?
Blousy, over-sized vest?
Pleated, baggy pants?
Charlie is trying too hard to look butch.

TOTALLY (closeted) GAY!!

ronaldpagan June 23, 2008 at 6:41 pm

[re=22846]Vanity Smurf[/re]: HA yes. Some enterprising Wonkette-reader needs to solicit him at a TGI Fridays.

Tits_LaRue June 23, 2008 at 6:46 pm

He does have a girlfriend, but it’s weird, all her friends are men and she lets them all call her a “hag.” Still, I’m so glad he’s found someone after 30 years!

MC_Bob June 23, 2008 at 7:05 pm

In Mr. Crist’s defense: As a great man once told me, “you’re not gay if you’re on top.”

Oh……upon further reflection, never mind.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 23, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Crist: Let’s put the Vice back in Vice President.

shortsshortsshorts June 23, 2008 at 8:10 pm

He should also be a Republican, for dramatic effect.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 23, 2008 at 8:41 pm

Actually, how is making up a girlfriend? He just says that there is “somebody.” And its the same week that California started letting the gayez marry. Just sayin’.

ronaldpagan June 23, 2008 at 8:45 pm

[re=22928]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Bestiality is legal in Florida, so maybe his special someone is an adorable golden retriever puppy.

hrhkingfriday June 23, 2008 at 8:49 pm

WALNUTS! super (geigh) dream team

Veep = Lindsey Graham
Sec. State = Charlie Crist
Sec. Def. = Cheney
AG = Larry Craig

Joey Ratz June 23, 2008 at 8:54 pm

[re=22749]ronaldpagan[/re]: Wasn’t Haley Barbour everybody’s pick to be the VP a couple of years ago? Of course, I haven’t heard any mention of him in a while, but, being a fat Southern dipshit with an incomprehensible accent, he would certainly appeal to the Republican base.

Me, I want Johnny Mac to run with Sonny Perdue.

ExecutorElassus June 23, 2008 at 9:03 pm

jeez, that was the dumbest interview, like, ever. Here, I’ll condense it for those of you who don’t need any more reasons to drink today:

Debbie: I read some factoid! What do you think of [random factoid]?
Gov. Fancybritches: that’s a factoid.
Debbie: …
Debbie thinks: omg! He’s so GAY!
The end!

Time to hit that scotch.

artbot2000 June 23, 2008 at 9:52 pm

[re=22734]Electric Zen[/re]:

Was this before or after the boob upgrade?

Thing is, though, once you read about dating Miss Kitty, you KNEW he was gay.

GideonGlib June 23, 2008 at 10:14 pm

The Republicans have tried the dumb, fundamentalist, anti-environment route, maybe going with Crist might work better for the republicans?

S.Luggo June 23, 2008 at 10:49 pm

[re=22721]stankfest[/re]: Plus, Charlie believes in searching for hydrocarbon deposits off-shore. Notice that, instead of “hydrocarbon deposits”, I did not say, “Homo Fuck Gel”. I respect the gays.

Unindicted Co-Conspirator June 23, 2008 at 10:51 pm

Pawlenty has that little problem of the bridge that fell down on his watch.
Perry tried keeping up the killing machine of the Texas prison system, but there’s a temporary hold right now. He tried to out do his predecessor, our current halfwit at 1600 Penna. Ave. One of these days, DNA will prove that one of the people he signed off on killing turned out to be the wrong guy.
Then the sit hits the fan & Perry.

Plus Perry probably burned the governor’s mansion to hide something he did.

American Dreamer June 23, 2008 at 11:59 pm

The rumor down here in Palm Beach is that Crist is dating a female socialite who is married. I guess that is good enough in the Republican play book.

jasonelias June 24, 2008 at 12:15 am

Check out that “stay tuned.” Stay tuned for what? The next time he has sex with a dude?

KTHXBAI June 24, 2008 at 2:53 am

Yeah I remember telling my parents I hadn’t found the right girl either. I was pretty much saying that all the way up until the point I was fucking guys.

He’ll find her eventually. Her name will be Stephen.

gurukalehuru June 24, 2008 at 8:04 am

I’m sure that we can find Pawlenty of shit on the governor, and de facto airport men’s room chief administrator,of the great state of Minnesota.

Crapola June 24, 2008 at 8:56 am

Oompa, Loompa doompa-dee-do.
I’ve got a little riddle for you.
Ooompa, Loompa doompa-dee-day.
OMFG! Crist is totally gay!

What do you do when the Gov. loves the dick?
Endorse the corpse, hope to be his Veep pick.
Screw all the schools, firefighters, and cops.
Say all the homeowners who want their $200 bucks.

I hope your fucking houses burn.

Oompa, Loompa doompa-dee-da.
If you use KY your ass will not scar.
Live in the closet without a clue.
Like the Ommpa Loompa doompa-dee-do.

4tehlulz June 24, 2008 at 9:23 am

>>Women with penises don’t count, Charlie.

But she was from Thailand! She said the’re all like that there!

Lazy Media June 24, 2008 at 9:56 am

[re=23017]Crapola[/re]: Four whore diamonds!

RobPetrified June 24, 2008 at 10:32 am

Ding! Ding! Ding! Winner.
Two snaps with a circle.

cookiebastard June 24, 2008 at 10:53 am

He is of Greek descent.

Matthew Crunt June 24, 2008 at 11:58 am

Hold on! We need to conduct some tests. Does Charlie have a “tan line”? Does he drop pennies on the men’s room floor near the urinals? Does he pick up the pennies? Are his gerbils missing? If the answers are NO, YES, YES and “YES”, he’s dating Jethro Bush, W’s smart brother.

Banzai77 June 24, 2008 at 12:11 pm

Of course Crist is gay. After all, he is a Republican.

raider12 June 24, 2008 at 12:43 pm

I always thought that Crist looks like the (gay) character that Tommy Lee Jones played in “JFK”.

belmonttau June 24, 2008 at 1:39 pm

He looks like a Will Forte character from SNL (no offense to Will Forte).

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