Wonkette
Happy Monday, not. George Carlin is dead. Heart attack, Sunday afternoon. Carlin had just won the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. We have, whenever circumstance demanded, posted some George Carlin monologues.
Here is one of them:
Good-bye, George Carlin.
Seven Dirty Words [George Carlin]
It was Time for George to die.
What he used to talk about as absurdist comedy in the 1960s has become the “reality” of American politics.
Indeed, if Carlin back then had created a comic persona equivalent to “President” Bush, we would have considered it too outlandish to be funny.
:::Sigh:::
“Al Sleet, your Hippie-Dippy Weatherman, signing off.”
I hope he’s up in heaven, poking fun at Russert.
The most amazing thing about that video: The sheep are laughing while George talks about how the wolves are doing to have them for dinner.
Please not Carlin.
This guy down the dock today looked exactly like WHAT DID HE JUST SAY, so this is serendipitous in the worst way.
Obligatory comment containing all seven words.
bago: ?
Scalawag, Cock-slime, Test-tube, Nixon, Jesus and Lettuce?
I think it’s the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
– George Carlin, A&E Biography
That’s six.
Or 8 if you count hyphens and delineating characters.
bago: I thought I told you…
I don’t know how to read.
bago: /dick
*fixed
Sigh.
FUCK!
how old was he?
graceless: Younger than WALNUTS by a year…. it could be 4,00o.
shortsshortsshorts: Needs more angle brackets. And throw in some cowbell while you’re at it
Oh god. I just smileyed.
George Carlin made me who i am today. This is one of the worst days of my life.
This wasn’t even near his best stuff. He was damn good for a long time, he lost something when his wife died…
bago: Where the fuck is REAL Wonkette cow-bell? I’m calling FISA.
“What hellish skeleton of the American Dream will remain when we finally drag ourselves to the polling place on November 4?”
– Ken Layne
“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
— George Carlin
Those weren’t even jokes.
GC: “You’ve been had, dumbshits!”
dumbshits: “hooray! We’ve been had!”
It must be a shocking day for all irony-challenged Paultards when they discover they didn’t invent George Carlin in 2007 to be the first comedian in our nation’s history to somehow repeat the exact same words as Ron Paul.
(Well, Ken Layne cross-bulleted the Paultard blimp up there so someone had to say it.)
In the worst of times, satire always flourishes. Thanks for being our dim little candle, man.
Darehead:
Oh, and Exhibit A of George Carlin Paulxploitation:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obJgyUaPNzk
Exhibit B:
The Paultard film, Zeitgeist
Ken Layne,
He will be missed. I’ve missed him for years. I never understood why he retired or became irrelevant somehow.
Hey, when did heart attacks become so wildly popular again? They say celebrities die in threes and all three over the past few days have died of heart attacks.
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark
God DAMMIT.
What Spence said.
George did truly become an icon. It’s the mark of a true comedian that will step forward and say the things that everyone knows but fear of reprisal from power prevents them from speaking up or acting upon it. Thank you for being our jester George.
George, you’ve been my inspiration for 30 years. You’ll be sorely missed.
The world of dark comedy has lost one of it’s most iconic people. The new faces of comedy owe an unpayable debt to a man that single-handedly paved the road for them.
To show my honor and appreciation for this Master, I shall go to a Catholic church and imitate a priest in a confessional.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and TITS!
“To sin by silence when they should protest makes cowards of men.”
George never committed that sin.
He earned his 72 virgins. Hope he enjoys each and every one.
…MSNBC will now dedicate a week of airtime to the life and career of George Carlin.
FART, TURD, TWAT
Tonight’s forecast: Sad. Continued sadness overnight, with widely scattered acceptance through mourning.
Here I am, watching ‘Seven Dirty Words’ (about words that can’t be said on television) on YOUTUBE. Youtube, understand? Oh, and the word ‘turd’. Heard of it, recently? Yeah, ‘Turdblossom’, from the lips of our very own sainted prezdent. So time marches on, though it’s kind of an irregular step and staggers a bit from side to side.
George Carlin? Sad.
‘But what about the children? Fuck the children!’
Ahhhhh George … he fought the good fight. My eyes are tearing up.
This right here is THE SHIT.
The 10 Commandments:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU
Goodbye George. I enjoyed your life. I’m gonna miss you bro. Rest in peace.
…and tits doesn’t even belong on the list!
One of the few comedians who actually made me laugh RIP.
God, that’s just…God. This is not the way for me to start a Monday morning.
R.I.P. George, the world is a much less funnier place.
A real American hero.
The amazing thing about the “Seven Words” routine is that it’s as old as I am, and it’s still true—and still fucking hysterical.
He always pushed the envelope, and for that I thank him.
Goodbye.
What a shitty way to start the week. I’m going to curtail my legendary restraint and try to use one of the words in each and every motherfucking sentence I utter today. That doesn’t bode well for my cocksucking job interview this afternoon though…
One of the few folks who could see through the absurdity and not be called a nutjob, one less speedbump on the road towards the idiocracy…
He isn’t dead, Rufus just time-traveled.
And when is everybody going to start praising his work in Prince of Tides? He was in that, right? I didn’t have some sort of magic mushroom hallucination?
Carlin dies of a heart attack and at the same time no more posts from Tony the Tiger - Coincidence?
R.I.P. George.
George, Lenny, and Richard are in the afterlife now, poking fun at our will to live so long.
When I was a 10-year-old kid and bought the album Class Clown, George Carlin became my hero. I know that if I had ever met him and said, “George, you’re my hero,” he would have responded by saying, “Bullshit. You don’t need a fucking hero.”
Shit that’s going to seriously push back any plans to produce “Cars 2.”
I’m pretty sure this is the beginning of the rapture.
Who was more righteous and pure than Russert and Carlin?
Start checking your head for the number of the beast.
Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits!
A true original… Not many out there these days.
Found this on a quotations web site — I don’t necessarily know if it’s a legitimate Carlin quote, but what the hell:
“There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.” This will be one such night.
FlakJack: I hope he’s up in heaven, poking fun at Russert.
I guess Russert wouldn’t have to actually be there for George to poke fun at him.
You can prick your finger, but you can’t finger your…
Thanks, George!
I wonder if he got the two-minute warning before he went.
“TWO MINUTES!! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!”
George Carlin… Tim Russert… both dying of heart failures. Are they brothers? Hummmm…
All kidding aside, Carlin was great. I loved that routine he did where he cut down the ten commandments to one or something.
Ah, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rCz0-HY1TLU
Thank you, youtubes!
God, I’m so fucking depressed. Comedy is dead. Long live comedy.
The only thing that makes me smile right now is hearing Carlin yell
CORNHOLE!
Damn. Although I can’t say it was unexpected. He and HST were the two people everyone was surprised to see live into retirement age.
George Carlin, of course, was one of the great comedians of all time. He was amazingly intelligent, thought-provoking, groundbreaking, influential and even, yes, intellectual. He was also extremely hard-working and versatile. His comedy spanned the popular culture mediums–live theater, radio (he started as a disc jockey, many people forget), television (he was the first host of “Saturday Night Live,” a regular on Ed Sullivan and “The Tonight Show,” an early HBO pioneer, and even, later, a kids’ star on “Shining Time”), film (he was a actually a good actor), books (three of them), and records (many deserved Grammies and several of the most successful comedy albums of all time). George Carlin was also a hero to at least two generations for being a counterculture hero and a brave trailblazer who went up against riduclous establishments and their inane rules and regulations. It’s comforting to think that George Carlin is reunited with contemporary Richard Pryor and Carlin heroes Lenny Bruce and Danny Kaye, and to think that they’re all together now, riffing and improving–and all the while laughing at all of us.
Dammit, fucking cram that afterlife shit.
My Hero. Goodnight, you funny motherfucker.
“…and Tits doesn’t even belong on the list. That is such a friendly sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? “Hey, Tits, come here, man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots.” It sounds like a snack, doesn’t it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don’t mean your sexist snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits! And new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits, Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. “Betcha Can’t Eat Just One.” That’s true. I usually switch off. But I mean, that word does not belong on the list…” -George Carlin
Tits_LaRue:
I really liked his dog and cat comparison.
“Fuckin’ MEOW”
thefrontpage:
It’s comforting to think that George Carlin is reunited
He would have been the first to call that idea bullshit. He’s dead. George Carlin has ceased to exist aside from memories. Let’s not forget those anytime soon, or be sad about his death because that would have pissed him off.
I’m still a little sad though.
He’s back at work again, Mohammed Ali. Of course he has an interesting job–beating people up. Government wanted him to changes jobs. Government wanted him to kill people. He said: Naw, I’ll beat ‘em up, but I won’t kill ‘em. So the government said: Well, if you won’t kill ‘em, we won’t let you beat ‘em up.
Clever_Sobriquet: Just remember not to go into a stream of “SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!”out loud during the interview.
Not_So_Much: Tell me about it. George dies, but Dane Cook lives.
Barbara “The Silver Douchebag” Bush, as per George Carlin.
Servo: or his euphamisms for wanking:
polishing the bishop
shooting putty at the moon
shaking hands with the unemployed
Servo: I’ve been watching clips all morning, it was all good!
When I was 12 I read Napalm and Silly Putty. Not only did it crack me up, but I learned to not accept the bullshit I was being fed everyday. To question everything I was told and make up my own mind.
Without george I might actually be practicing religion or even worse yet … be politically correct. Thank you for saving me, george. I almost wish there was a god so you can tell him what a shitty job he’s done.
This just in: Richard Pryor and George Carlin finish their careers tied at four heart attacks each.
As such, Richard Pryor wins as the tie-breaker is setting yourself on fire.
AM/FM remains one of the top ten comedy albums ever released. Although I don’t think you can find a single bad Carlin Album.
Yep, George is gone and the chunk of granite that is Cheney’s heart continues to beat. WTF.
This news made for the worst Monday morning this year. This just sucks.
When I was 14, I had all my money saved up to see George perform live in Anchorage. My parents loved him (why I have no idea) and I know his stuff by heart. At the last minute they wouldn’t let me go–the humor was “too adult” and used “dirty words.” Fucking dirty words my old fart parents used when they were ripped to the tits with their cocksucker friends, including that one old cunt and the motherfucker with the gunrack and ponytail. Buncha pricks. Howdya like that shit? I was, of course, totally pissed off.
Ok, I made all that up. Except for the part about not being allowed to see him. Bummer. RIP, GC.
George Carlin on 9/11:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pow5_UYKaJ8