ELECTED OFFICIALS IN THIS COUNTRY  4:52 pm June 20, 2008

Erudite Congressman Explains How Liberal Democrats Communicate

by Jim Newell

Holy crap, did you know there’s a Republican Congressman named “Thad McCotter”? That was the actual name of every Congressman to serve before 1900. But the McCotter Who Survived, here, is a wonderful educator, too! Look at him explain, on the House floor, and with a ruler, the art of “Speaking Democrat.” He proves that in the Democrat tongue, “DIPLOMACY = MAGIC.” The Democrats are Harry Potter and his wizard friends! Another favorite: “GOVERNMENT = SOCIALISM,” which is a step up from Marxism at least. Teach us more! THAD = RAD. [YouTube]

 
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{ 97 comments }

illnoise June 20, 2008 at 4:58 pm

At least someone at Kinkos made a few bucks printing out those charts.

Fata Morgana June 20, 2008 at 5:01 pm

And as another example: “Republican Representative from Michigan’s 11th District = ” A Douchenozzle”.

Let’s use it in a sentence:

Thad McCotter is the Republican Representative from Michigan’s 11th District.

Which means:

Thad McCotter is a Douchenozzle.

Thank you for your kind attention.

Uncle Al June 20, 2008 at 5:02 pm

My heart sank when he took out the ruler. He doesn’t even try to put it over in a funny way. More like a root canal. Which idiot staffer decided the boss with no sense of humor should try something like this?

He’s the Congressman voted most likely to pull out an AK and go postal on the House floor.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Way to suck all of the fun out of c-span, Thad.

jagorev June 20, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Hey, at least it’s better than the official philosophy of the Republican party:

WAR = PEACE

SLAVERY = FREEDOM

IGNORANCE = STRENGTH

KevoTron June 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Can you imagine watching a slide show of Thad’s vacation? That’s my personal hell.

Here’s some Republispeak:

Retroactive Immunity = Sucking the cock of corporate America

Abstinence Only Education = Let’s do anal

No child left behind = every child left behind

This is fun! Anyone else wanna play?

Inadequate Blackmail June 20, 2008 at 5:05 pm

Heh. A for showmanship. F for being a histrionic dickhead.

RuperttheBear June 20, 2008 at 5:08 pm

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHAHAH OH YOU SO FUNNY. UP IS DOWN LEFT IS RIGHT

Dude, Thad is the poster child for Masengil.

Paultardville June 20, 2008 at 5:08 pm

Cut your taxes = Cut takes on everyone making over 200,000

Family values = Whatever my values are today

Compassionate conservative = Turd sandwich

Jewdishoowary Square June 20, 2008 at 5:09 pm

This guy reminds me of my high school math teacher, in that a) he drones on intolerably, b) he gestures pedantically at a chart, c) he makes me want to punch him repeatedly, with fists.

mothermaven June 20, 2008 at 5:09 pm

OOOOOOHHHHH! OOOOOOHHHHH! OOOOOOHHHHH! Mistah McCotter! Mistah McCotter!

Like Vincent Barbarino used to say, “Up your nose with a rubber hose!”

Fata Morgana June 20, 2008 at 5:10 pm

By the way, does that shit actually play among conservatives in Michigan? What, is there lead in the water there or something?

obfuscator June 20, 2008 at 5:10 pm

Is there anything more enjoyable than being condescended to by an idiot?

Small Government Conservatives = “Let’s spend 80% of our time freaking out about what consenting adults are doing in the privacy of their own bedrooms!”

S.Luggo June 20, 2008 at 5:12 pm

A face only a mother could love: http://www.slatecard.com/images/candidates/ThadMcCotterMI.jpg

Btw: He has a cousin named Chad McTotter.

Inadequate Blackmail June 20, 2008 at 5:13 pm

Habeas Corpus = Obstruction of Justice

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 5:15 pm

[re=21481]obfuscator[/re]:
Is there anything more enjoyable than being condescended to by an idiot?

I dunno. 8 years of it, and 24% of us still can’t get enough.

Me though, I’m going to have to go with self-trepanation as my alternate.

PsychoDonkey June 20, 2008 at 5:17 pm

Now I am glad that we in DC have no representation in congress.

Cicada June 20, 2008 at 5:18 pm

More Republicanese:

Family Values = Wide Stance

War on Terror = War on Civil Liberties

Enhanced interrogation = Anything up to severe organ damage. Oh, all right, severe organ damage is fine too.

Tax Cuts = Rich people par-tay.

Foreign Policy = Bring it on.

RuperttheBear June 20, 2008 at 5:18 pm

[re=21483]S.Luggo[/re]: Jeebus. Douches douche with him.

crookedE June 20, 2008 at 5:19 pm

I also have a Lethargy Policy. It involves Wonkette and Cheetos.

Fata Morgana June 20, 2008 at 5:19 pm

[re=21483]S.Luggo[/re]:

He looks like the undertaker from Phantasm.

obfuscator June 20, 2008 at 5:20 pm

[re=21489]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:

Technically, the people who make up that 24% are theoretically even more stupid than the president, so it’s not quite the same thing.

Trepanning? Is that still a thing?

Cicada June 20, 2008 at 5:20 pm

[re=21483]S.Luggo[/re]: He looks like a retarded Richie Cunningham.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler June 20, 2008 at 5:21 pm

Sorry but I only get one feeling when I think of this douche:
CUNT!!

helzapoppn June 20, 2008 at 5:22 pm

How can you NOT remember the “Crazy Old Coot?”

http://wonkette.com/220062/crazy-old-coot-to-head-republican-policy-committee

Right now, Pareene is weeping bitter tears at being totally forgotten.

Wuzzat June 20, 2008 at 5:27 pm

It would actually be kind of awesome if Democrats defended America with magic.

Also, this is a great illustration of why Congress gets nothing done.

S.Luggo June 20, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Unknown to his mainly white, Martini-drinking constituency, Thad (or is it Chad?) likes playing the sexy-sexy Negro music. Family values, as if. http://repmccotter.blogspot.com/2008/04/shenanigans-rock-n-roll-congressman.html The devil has his soul.

Not_So_Much June 20, 2008 at 5:27 pm

Is that his real voice or is it just fucked up from, you know, all the cock traffic?

Michiganders from the 11th district must be so proud….

helzapoppn June 20, 2008 at 5:32 pm

By the way, I lived in McCotter’s District and worked for his opponent in 2006.

Thad is just as big a douchebag in person as he is on CSPAN…a thin-skinned pseudointellectual who totally believes he’s the smartest guy in the room.

It is incomprehensible to me how he got this far in life. Were it not for the gerrymandered districts in Michigan, he would have lost big two years ago. Instead, he’s pretty much guaranteed to stay in office until the 2012 election.

Worst of all, he’s only 43.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 5:37 pm

[re=21499]obfuscator[/re]: It will be for me if I have to go through another 4 years of cognitive dissonance.

helzapoppn June 20, 2008 at 5:39 pm

[re=21506]Wuzzat[/re]: Truly, the only contribution McCotter’s ever made to Congress has been idiotic speechifying.

He’s supposedly the 4th-ranking House Republican…but no one outside his District or The Beltway has ever heard of him. He has no legislation credited to him, has never chaired a subcommittee, and is of course a total dick.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 20, 2008 at 5:49 pm

[re=21497]crookedE[/re]: My lethargy policy is WAY more elitist than yours. Mine involves Wonkette and Rosemay & Olive Oil Triscuits

iwillsavethispatient June 20, 2008 at 5:51 pm

Wait… where in that “how a law becomes a bill” song from the 1970s (sorry, “change”) does this reading-lame-jokes-from-a-board fit in?

Son of Mark Penn June 20, 2008 at 5:54 pm

Progressive is an accepted term by economists to describe the taxation of the rich at a greater proportion of their income than the poor. Proportion of income taxed is progressively higher.

Fucking dumbass.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 5:58 pm

[re=21526]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Probably washing down with Chardonnay, too.

itgetter June 20, 2008 at 6:01 pm

YES! Rachel Maddow, my lesbian girlfriend, is hosting “Race for the White House” again.

TGY June 20, 2008 at 6:03 pm

Welcome back, McCotter?

greatgooglymoogly June 20, 2008 at 6:06 pm

Dear GOP:

Please, pleasepleaseplease, for the love of God, send this man out to speak to America. He is exhilarating! He is current! He is exciting! He is EVER SO UP TO DATE with his neat cool with-it sign boards and ruler/pointer. HE IS YOUR BEST SPOKESMAN EVER! Make W. go with him, for comic relief. It’s a slam dunk, my friends!

Signed,

Every Democrat Since The New Deal.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 20, 2008 at 6:07 pm

[re=21530]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Pinot Grigio, actually, while petting my standard poodle and listening to Wagner’s Götterdämmerung

(You think I’m joking).

obfuscator June 20, 2008 at 6:16 pm

[re=21529]Son of Mark Penn[/re]:

Isn’t it reassuring to know that a member of congress hasn’t quite wrapped his head around “progressive” and “regressive” tax structures?

Monsieur Grumpe June 20, 2008 at 6:33 pm

Thad,
Did you you really think that the world would be a better place after your demonstration? Might I suggest that you have successfully risen from obscurity to a full blown youtube asshole instead? Hmmmm?

Hitch June 20, 2008 at 6:39 pm

That is the worst fucking mad lib I’ve ever come across.

SayItWithWookies June 20, 2008 at 6:44 pm

Damn my dead soundcard — but the visuals (and what I bothered to read) were bad enough. That chamber must have been empty, unless it was someone’s fervent desire to be lectured to by a pedantic mole rat.

Darehead June 20, 2008 at 6:49 pm

Isn’t there a new Internet tradition called “hanging Thads”?

V572625694 June 20, 2008 at 6:57 pm

Watching this is a kind of punishment. Haven’t we been good, Jim? Please don’t hurt us any more. Whatever it is that led you to do this to us, we won’t do any more.

obfuscator June 20, 2008 at 6:57 pm

[re=21552]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:

Following in the footsteps of GOP stalwarts like Trent Lott(racialist), Ted Stevens(So Fucking Angry!), Jean Schmidt(Called John Murtha a “Bitch-made Trickass Mark”. Also, crimes against fashion), and Bill Frist(Physician who diagnosed Terri Schiavo via videotape footage).

ReverendGreen June 20, 2008 at 7:02 pm

Rahm Emmanuel should find the candidate and use this ad to find McCotter a green collar job.

loudmouthredhead June 20, 2008 at 7:22 pm

Hey Thad, you forgot this one:
“Republican = Nerdy White Guy with an Inflated Ego who thinks he’s teh awesomz”

I love how he takes his premise and runs with it…and runs with it…and runs with it. Until he runs out of GOP jargon to substitute and gets completely non-sensical. Although, if you realize he might be directing this to the oil executives it sorta makes sense. They’d be out of work (investment in green tech), heavily-taxed and forced to provide for the lower classes (socialism, of course).

As a resident of Michigan, I’ll say it: Sorry everyone, he’s one of ours. Our bad.

Darehead June 20, 2008 at 7:30 pm

Thad, Thank you for showing the world how Republicans really like to spend their time and taxpayers’ money. I am now confident we will win all wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and the rest of the places too, especially after we extend the draft to include balding 40-something C-student douchebag closet gays stuck in the 70s like you.
Oh, one more thing. Ann Coulter called and wants her senior thesis back.

Carrie_Okie June 20, 2008 at 7:47 pm

Haha, Congressmen McDoucheCurdle. Michigan sucks. You have no jobs and all your taxpayers have moved to North Carolina to be John Edwards pool boy. Suck it district 11!

Advocatus_Diaboli June 20, 2008 at 7:52 pm

I don’t think I can masturbate to this.

Q2 June 20, 2008 at 8:00 pm

Here’s what we do: We give every member of Congress a foam bat, and we pass a law that rules whoever beats their opponent to death with their foam bat wins. They’ll be at it for weeks before the realize it is fruitless. The Pay Per View will be huge.

jasonelias June 20, 2008 at 8:17 pm

And what’s wrong with the ’70s? Free love, good rock, some disco–oh yeah, a gang of shit Thaddeus was too ugly to do.

DemmeFatale June 20, 2008 at 8:32 pm

Many thanks to all you faith-restoring Wonketteers for bringing the funny!
(This kind of shit depresses the hell out of me.)

LBOtomist June 20, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Being stuck at the office on Friday night listening to this cockswaddling doucheknocker almost defeats snark, but still wondering why some young technocrat (Walnuts!) couldn’t have hooked McDouchles up with teh high techz (you know, laser pointer, powerpoint, fuck it, maybe an inkjet instead of that sweet dot matrix action)?

WhatTheHeck June 20, 2008 at 8:50 pm

Now if this was in Taiwan, after 10 seconds of this, fists would have been flyin’ and that ruler would have
ended up in his district 11.

AxmxZ June 20, 2008 at 8:50 pm

I got a riddle for Thad McCotter that will make him a very thad McCotter indeed: if “pro-” is the opposite of “con-”, what’s the opposite of “progress”?

nyhfrog June 20, 2008 at 9:05 pm

[re=21467]KevoTron[/re]: Market Freedom = Corporate Overlords

RuperttheBear June 20, 2008 at 9:06 pm

If you drink enough tequila this isn’t so hard to watch.

I just pooped in my pants. If you drink enough tequila, that’s not such a big deal.

WadISay June 20, 2008 at 9:19 pm

My love and my best friend = my page
Bald = hairy

DangerousLiberal June 20, 2008 at 9:36 pm

Thad McCotter = Distended, supperating asshole
Republican Party == ” ” ” assholes

DoctorCulturae June 20, 2008 at 10:45 pm

My blood pressure just went up 20 pts. And I’ve already had my bourbon.

Thad Ass McCooter.

SocialList June 20, 2008 at 10:54 pm

The motherfucker’s name is Thaddeus George McCotter.

i bet his mom is a McSnee.

Lascauxcaveman June 20, 2008 at 11:31 pm

[re=21526]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: [re=21530]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Ha, you guys! I nearly spit my baby romaine and arugula Caeser washed down with a G n’ T on my computer screen. I’m getting lethargic in the white-elitist-est way possible tonight. Except the part about being at work. That’s kinda blue collar-ish. I’ll have a PBR or four before bedtime to balance things out.

Republicanism:

Quick refreshing bath = waterboarding

notapipe June 20, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Apparently, the (translated) Democratic way to appease our enemies is to use magic? Are our enemies a five-year-old’s birthday party?

Beaufighter June 21, 2008 at 12:21 am

This, from the man who brought us National Dog Bite Prevention Week.

Terrific legislative record, asshat.

http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/bdquery/?&Db=d110&querybd=@FIELD(FLD003+@4((@1(Rep+McCotter++Thaddeus+G.))+01732))

notapipe June 21, 2008 at 12:33 am

Did he actually say “Ouch”???? Aren’t these HIS unfunny jokes?

McCotter here plays like he’s just reading some of these translations for the first time. Which suggests to me that either he sucks a lot or someone he works for wrote this horribly unfunny thing and then, because McCotter sucks a lot, he thought they were so clever he had to go and share them with the House. In this scenario, ol’ Thaddeus is kind of like your asshole relative who forwards the really unfunny jokes that tell a special message about Jesus. Only he’s forwarding them to the entire C-SPAN listserv.

helzapoppn June 21, 2008 at 1:30 am

[re=21595]LBOtomist[/re]: The ruler is a nod to his years in Catholic School, being taught by the Basilians.

Oh how I wish I just made that up. But now that you’ve read it, it all falls into place, doesn’t it?

gurukalehuru June 21, 2008 at 1:44 am

Change = The’70s? Is he like the only guy in American who thought McCain’s little joke about Carter’s 3rd term was actually funny?

Note to expectant parents everywhere: If your last name is McCotter, don’t name your baby Thad. Brian or Dennis would be acceptable alternatives.

maryn June 21, 2008 at 5:26 am

Hurrah! I pay that dingbat’s salary.

Actually, I didn’t this year because I live in Australia now. Australia is a country where the lack of policy movement on the floor of the House is accompanied by some amazing invective. Poor form, America.

I can’t believe no one has suggested Thad for Rep. Veep. Michigan is a must-win state, after all.

Borat June 21, 2008 at 5:41 am

I am deeply suspicious of this possible foreign extremist.

Is Thad a short name for Thaddeous? Is he trying to hide something? Why can’t he use his full name? Does he have some swarthy Greek ancestry is is trying to hide from us? You know the Greeks still have an active communist party the KKE. He might be a communist subversive and this is his chance to try to divert attention to this.

Also, lots of Greek men are gay. Which is fine with me, it means more of the nice ladies are available, but it means that if Thaddeous has some secret Greek communist genes, he might also be gay. And I don’t mean the nice kind of gay, I mean the ruler-spanking kids kind of gay

Darehead June 21, 2008 at 7:11 am

[re=21741]Borat[/re]:
If you’re happy and you know it, spank McCotter
If you’re happy and you know it, spank McCotter
He’s old-fogeyed, weak and haughty
And he does his potty naughty
So take yer ruler out and give him whatcha ought-er.

zhubajie June 21, 2008 at 7:26 am

“He’s the Congressman voted most likely to pull out an AK and go postal on the House floor.”

This would probably improve the quality of Congress a lot.

Zhu Bajie

MoodProcessor June 21, 2008 at 8:01 am

[re=21538]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Elitist!

I’m glad McCuntter did this for us. I’ve learned the error of my Pro…I mean Regressive ways, and will now commit my life to reading bad jokes from large cards on easels.

I’ll try it out on Monday morning on the train. I’ll need some campaign advisement, and a wooden ruler, and someone to write bad jokes for me. Anybody here take the Penn Line from Baltimore?

McCain/McCuntter ’08 – Condescension and Conflagration for America

Darehead June 21, 2008 at 8:22 am

[re=21759]MoodProcessor[/re]: Absitively posilutely McPoifect.

DoctorCulturae June 21, 2008 at 9:55 am

[re=21752]Darehead[/re]: Spilled-coffee-on-the-keyboard brilliant.

My humble contribution:

Ta ra ra boom dee ay
C-Span to school today
Logic has passed away
McCotter’s here to stay

Asshat he’s every day
We pay him anyway
He’s worse than Tom Delay
Ta ra ra boom dee ay

Ta ra ra boom dee ay
He’d steal your rights away
And while he’s crowing there
He’d take your underwear.

Darehead June 21, 2008 at 10:05 am

[re=21782]DoctorCulturae[/re]: Haha!! Beer time for my parts of the world so I’ll spill that instead!!!

Borat June 21, 2008 at 11:31 am

Dear Mr Mic,

I read in the post above you may be a Greek communist and the bad type of gay. In giving this further consideration, the facts are that Greek priests also have long beards like their Muzzie counterparts. How come you have not yet responeded to these critisisms?

The American people demand to know the truth. You have not done anything yet to clear your name. What are you hiding? We demand:

To see your birth certificate to know what your real name is.
To see proof your mother was an American Citizen, above the age of 21, married and did not smuggle you from Greece and alter your citizenship documents.
To see proof you and your family have no connections to the Greek communist party.

Until you provide this evidence, we are going to be unable to have confidence in your true identity.

CITIZENS FOR TRUTH, THE REAL OFFICIAL SELF APPOINTED BLOGGING LOBBYING NETWORK

artbot2000 June 21, 2008 at 1:37 pm

The odd thing about this item is that with the exception of the term “Douchenozzle,” the Wikipedia article for McCooter is funnier than anything teh savants here have been able to generate. Two prime items of humor, e.g.:

1.) When in the Michigan state legislature McCooter designated the boundaries of what later (like, two years later) became his own congressional district. And,
2.) McCooter is a “regular” visitor on the “Dennis Miller” radio program, on which Miller has, repeatedly, asserted his liking for the “cut of his jib.”

I meqn seriously, douchenozzle aside, how do you top that? Oh yeah, Bush the Lesser refers to him as “that rock and roll guy.”

InsidiousTuna June 21, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Oh, what a jokester.

ronaldpagan June 21, 2008 at 2:58 pm

GOP-bonics 101

keeping our nation safe = torture
winning the War on Terror = blowing up brown people
Reaganesque = Alzheimer’s-addled
freedom ain’t free = gay hookers ain’t free
fiscal responsibility = buying cheaper gay hookers
family values = fucking little boys
party of Lincoln = party of fucking little boys
pro-life = pro-more babies to fuck
cutting taxes = fucking little boys
Second Amendment = the one where it’s legal to fuck little boys
USA! USA! USA! = I fuck kids! I fuck kids! I fuck kids!
Republican = boy-fucker

Crass and repetitive, I know, but I’m just the messenger.

DoctorCulturae June 21, 2008 at 4:47 pm

[re=21843]artbot2000[/re]: What sleazy low-attendance dive do we lock Miller in after the GE? I mean speaking of DNs.

KTHXBAI June 21, 2008 at 4:59 pm

I don’t get it…with that name shouldn’t it be Thad McCotter (R-Mississippi)

Packherd June 21, 2008 at 5:14 pm

“Are you better off today than you were four years ago?” – A brief study in GOP historionics, circa 2004

Come on, learning is fun!

Lesson 1: War and Peace
winning the War on Terror = re-fighting Vietnam
government = politburo
keeping citizens safe = forcing others to die so we don’t have to

Now translate the following sentence:
“Winning the War on Terror… because our government’s most solemn duty is to keep its citizens safe.”

Answer:
Re-fighting Vietnam… because our politburo‘s most solemn duty is to force others to die so we don’t have to.

Packherd June 21, 2008 at 5:20 pm

Lesson 2: It’s the Economy, Stupid!
ownership = debt
entrepreneur = robber baron
ours = white
strong economy = strong wealth funds
workers and families = self-righteous elitists

Translate this sentence:
“Ushering in an Ownership Era… because a vibrant entrepreneurial spirit will keep our economy strong and provide more opportunities for workers and families.”

Answer:
“Ushering in a Debt Era… because a vibrant robber baron spirit will keep white wealth funds strong and provide more opportunities for self-righteous elitists.

Good work! Remember what you’ve learned; you’ll use these in the following lessons.

Packherd June 21, 2008 at 5:28 pm

Lesson 3: It’s All About the Benjamins
innovation = corporate welfare
compete = subsidize the rich
risk-takers = trust fund kiddies
technology and commerce = Depression-era policies

Translate this sentence:
“Building an Innovation Economy to Compete in the World… because American can compete anywhere thanks to our entrepreneurs and risk-takers who keep us on the cutting edge of technology and commerce.”

Answer:
“Building a Corporate Welfare Economy to subsidize the Rich in the World… because America can subsidize the rich anywhere thanks to white robber barons and trust fund kiddies who keep us on the cutting edge of Depression-era policies.

You’re doing great! Now the lessons will get more challenging and you’ll use more of the vocabulary you’ve learned so far.

Packherd June 21, 2008 at 5:33 pm

Lesson 4: C-average Students
your hopes and dreams can come true = your family can land you a spot at Yale

Translate this sentence:
“Strengthening Our Communities… because our children deserve to grow up in an America in which all their hopes and dreams can come true.”

Answer:
“Strengthening White Communities… because white children deserve to grow up in an American in which their family lands them a spot at Yale.

There’s just one more lesson to go. You’ve become quite the historionics expert!

Packherd June 21, 2008 at 5:39 pm

Lesson 5: Values Voters
respect = despise
ever-changing = racially tolerant

Translate this sentence:
“Protecting Our Families… because we respect the family’s role as a touchstone of stability and strength in an ever-changing world.”

Answer:
“Protecting White Families… because we despise the family’s role as a touchstone of stability and strength in a racially tolerant world.

You did a fantastic job! Now it’s your turn. Can you translate GOP statements to discover their hidden messages? They’re all around you and now you have the tools to see them. Good luck!

Q June 21, 2008 at 11:34 pm

Recently, various technologies for the recognition of human personality disorders through facial expressions have been developed and — using a few of these more advanced principles — I have developed a method to extract interpolative and extrapolative quantitative information using an averaged human face while applying differential vectors in characteristic points on averaged faces in the region of the human mouth and jaw. After applying these techniques to Mr. McCotter’s face (as represented in his instructive video) I can report to you with reasonable confidence that Mr. McCotter is a cocksucker.

Odd Ass City June 21, 2008 at 11:58 pm

I just can’t imagine spending all that time and effort and all to become a member of that august body the Congress of the United States of America and finding Thad there. Talk about an existential crisis. And he probably gets all huffy if anybody laughs during his lessons. Unfortunately he reminds me of my dad.

cal June 22, 2008 at 10:56 am

Michigan voters: WTF?

artbot2000 June 22, 2008 at 12:54 pm

What’s happened here is: Thad has polled his district, or has gotten one of those smart people to do it for him. He’s discovered his chances of being returned by said district are, EVEN THOUGH HE HAND-CARVED IT TO BE SECURE FOR HIM, about the same as Rosie O’Donnell’s chances of flying to Paris by flapping her arm fat.

So what was this performance? It was/is an interview/auditilon. Thad needs a new venue for the act. Apparently Heritage and Brookings were already booked, and all that was left at Enterprise was a gig waiting tables. So what about comedy news? To a cretin like Thad, comedy news looks easy. And after all, Dennis Miller likes the “cut of his jib,” which, beyond the inescapable gay implications (and remember, Dennis liked the cut of Dan Fouts’ jib, too), means Dennis thinks he’s sorta funny.

What one has to do is imagine the appropriate vehicle: America’s Funniest Republicans? Grasping at Straws with Thad and Thom?

I think Reality Tee Vee would work better than comedy news, which requires writers, who belong to (gasp!) a union. Imagine a bunch of failed republican hacks moving into an apartment in Anacostia while looking for their next career moves here in tinsel town east. For added humor, the network could find some washed-up rappers and such to live upstairs. I don’t actually watch tee vee, but this sounds vaguely like a sure winner to me.

bitchincamaro June 22, 2008 at 3:20 pm

I’ve been to Livonia and Wayne. Their citizens deserve this schmuck. In the 60′s, the White Flightists headed west from Detroit. First stops: Livonia and Wayne. Two generations later, it seems like nothing’s changed. It’s the same old divisionist attitudes that spawn feeble-minded asshats like McCotter. So, fuck them, with him. Hard.

lawrenceofthedesert June 22, 2008 at 4:18 pm

Livonia is 96 percent white, 3.2 percent African American, and there is one small Conservative synagogue in all of western Wayne County (plus a humanistic synagogue in Farmington Hills) — thank you, Henry Ford and Father Coughlin! This is the area that gave us Ted Nugent, who attended Clarenceville High School. (Make that gave you, not us.) What perfectly wonderful compost for growing the poisonous mushroom Thaddeus McCotter! Yet he didn’t do nearly as well at the polls last time out, even in Honkyville. The side effects of a surgical charismactomy?

Mista Eko June 23, 2008 at 9:37 am

If the Democrats are bringing back Zepplin I am all for it.

artbot2000 June 23, 2008 at 10:13 am

Actually, Led Zep is coming back, in pieces, as a Bluegrass act — see: Akison Kraus, Uncle Earl, the Sparrow Quartet, and so on. I, of course, expected this all along.

CubBear June 23, 2008 at 5:00 pm

WTF?!! Anyone notice that nobody, and I mean NOBODY, laughed once? Too bad he didn’t end the “performance” with a trip to the head to off himself due to extreme embarrassment.

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