• May 26, 2012
SCARY MONSTERS

June 20, 2008

McCain Gets His Own ‘Obama Girl’ — An Angry, Deformed Monstrosity

by Ken Layne  


Well, here’s the moment none of us were waiting for: The people responsible for last year’s “Obama Girl” craze have released the McCain Campaign’s version of a harmless, sexy New Jersey gal — and it’s a horrifying genetic accident from Hell itself. Masturbate to that. [YouTube]

{ 66 comments }

weirdiowasculpture June 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm

She looks a little like Cindy on stolen drugs, only greener.

Fata Morgana June 20, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Uh, no. No masturbating to that, thank you.

Inadequate Blackmail June 20, 2008 at 4:53 pm

Well, I’d take Obama Girl over McCain Girl. Surely that means Barack Obama should be President.

Dr. Spaceman June 20, 2008 at 4:54 pm

So that’s what Tori Spelling is up to.

ManchuCandidate June 20, 2008 at 4:55 pm

I laughed. I cried. I mostly laughed.

I love the Vicki Isemen reference.

“There is only one thing that can stop Obama and it’s in me.”
Flash to pic of John McCain grinning with thumbs up.

Wait a minute, it’s not?

KevoTron June 20, 2008 at 4:57 pm

Jesus Christ. I didn’t think this day could get any worse but now I’ve seen that the world is a cold, dark place full of stupid YouTube videos that don’t even have a place in a High School A/V club.

Is this even America anymore?

Jewdishoowary Square June 20, 2008 at 4:58 pm

Okay, that’s actually really funny.

Doglessliberal June 20, 2008 at 5:01 pm

[re=21451]KevoTron[/re]: yeah, this work week needs a fork stuck in it real soon.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 20, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Kinda Orion-slave-girl-esque

RuperttheBear June 20, 2008 at 5:04 pm

Well, I was going to take a swig of tequila at some point, and it may as well be now.

RobPetrified June 20, 2008 at 5:05 pm

According to time honored internet traditions,
I must say that I almost LOL’d.
Thats better than the real Incredible Hulk movie.
But its no “Walnuts.”

KevoTron June 20, 2008 at 5:06 pm

[re=21460]Doglessliberal[/re]: Two hours and I’m off to happy hour. I’m celebrating my goddam birthday with tons of freaking booze.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 5:12 pm

Does Obama have to smack a green bitch?

snig June 20, 2008 at 5:30 pm

Is it wrong that I’m kind of hoping Marvel’s lawyers slap these people down? And anyway, you would think as a person of color she’s have some feeling for Obama.

Rev. Peter Lemonjello June 20, 2008 at 5:34 pm

[re=21482]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I think you meant cunt.

snig June 20, 2008 at 5:35 pm

I would pay as much as $2.75 to hear Kanye West say “John McCain doesn’t care about green people!”
$3.50 if you can get Mike Myers to stand next to him and look real uncomfortable.

Paultardville June 20, 2008 at 5:40 pm

One one hand, her boobs get bigger.

On the other hand, they turn green.

Fuck it, I’d still hit that.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 5:50 pm

[re=21522]Paultardville[/re]: Hell, I think I HAVE hit that. No, I’m not proud to say it.

greatgooglymoogly June 20, 2008 at 5:58 pm

Well, I guess if Shreck and Ann Coulter had a baby, she’d look a liitle like that? Ech.

Twinkle Twinkle Lil Star June 20, 2008 at 5:59 pm

Jesus Christ. I didn’t think this day could get any worse but now I’ve seen that the world is a cold, dark place full of stupid YouTube videos that don’t even have a place in a High School A/V club.

Is this even America anymore?

Nope. Looks like you’ll have to get a sense of humor, then. ;)

greatgooglymoogly June 20, 2008 at 6:08 pm

[re=21531]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: (Thinks to self: “I did sorta like when she was strapped down, though. God I am sick, sick, sick!”)

TGY June 20, 2008 at 6:09 pm

The part where her implants grew? Priceless. I’m sure medical science already has real-time adjustable implants in the works.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 20, 2008 at 6:17 pm

Deep in the deserts of Arizona, the military has been breading a secret race of trollops. Blindly following the commands of their leader, John McCain, these cunts mean business.

Canmon (the Inadequate) June 20, 2008 at 6:18 pm

That was almost as bad as the Ang Lee version.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 6:28 pm

[re=21543]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Mmmmm. Breaded trollops.

SayItWithWookies June 20, 2008 at 6:31 pm

[re=21531]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: I was gonna say — that looks like Ann Coulter. But with a vagina.

Canuckledragger June 20, 2008 at 6:33 pm

“Masturbate to that.

Well, since it’s a direct order…. OK.

But, because I’m still something of a rebel, I won’t enjoy it.

BTW: Is it just my imagination or is everything fucking “going green?” Arugula overdose or what?

agingboomerguy June 20, 2008 at 6:44 pm

I posted my comment over an hour ago. I proof read it for snarkynes. (It is not easy for a straight male over 50 to snark, believe me.) What’s with the discrimination against “unauditioned” commeners like the boomer, (who are supposed to have) unfettered comment rights udder the new ownership policy)?

My comments of yesterday took over 14 hours from send to post. And by then they are stale.

Is this the staff’s way of resisting the new open comment policy?

Please enlighten the boomer, oh snarky ones.

greatgooglymoogly June 20, 2008 at 6:54 pm

[re=21550]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Truly, a monster to be feared.

snig June 20, 2008 at 7:10 pm

[re=21544]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Agreed, and we didn’t have to lose over two hours of our lives over this one. Except for the time we’re taking commenting on it.

Them June 20, 2008 at 7:19 pm

There’s going to be a “next episode?” They didn’t have enough material for this one, and it was only 2 and a half minutes.

loudmouthredhead June 20, 2008 at 7:25 pm

[re=21464]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: Yeah. If Kirk could hit that, I think I could force myself to also. I always did like a girl that could kick my ass.

SayItWithWookies June 20, 2008 at 7:25 pm

I’ll bet this isn’t the last time I read “McCain” and “Angry, Deformed Monstrosity” in the same sentence.

Beef Supreme June 20, 2008 at 7:27 pm

What was up with this line:

“As far as I’m concerned that girl’s entire body is property of the Republican Party.”

She’ll be the least fucked girl in the history of the universe.

trai_dep June 20, 2008 at 7:53 pm

Geez, YouTubes. It’s the Republican party.
We need a McCain boy. Preferably thirteen years old. Bouncing on a mini-trampoline, with the camera focused like an SDI laser on his nether regions. In slow-mo.
While he’s wearing naught but a jock strap (or, for those Montana Republicans, a Tarzan-boy loincloth – they fancy the aboriginals).
Singing, “Thank God I’m an American (Kickin’ Raghead Ass)”.

Yeesh, must Wonkette guide you thru the nose on everything?!

tocute2btrue June 20, 2008 at 8:06 pm

I will do a Bill Clinton on her ass.

trai_dep June 20, 2008 at 8:16 pm

I laughed. I cried. I checked my bloodstream for lil’ angry McCain antibodies.
Thumbs up!

ChatteringClass June 20, 2008 at 8:33 pm

[re=21585]trai_dep[/re]: It was much better than ‘Cats.’ I’m going to see it again and again.

AngryBlakGuy June 20, 2008 at 8:34 pm

…ehhh, I would hit that at 4 a.m. after a hard nights drinking. But total hate fukk though; I do have a liberal image to maintain after all!

AngryBlakGuy June 20, 2008 at 8:38 pm

[re=21592]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …oh yeah, I would totally knock the bottom off 9ui11iani girl!!!

1974 (again) June 20, 2008 at 8:39 pm

See now that was just fake. I know this, because Giuliani Girl was black. Although, perhaps she’s what came out when the NYPD sodomized her father with a broom handle.

AxmxZ June 20, 2008 at 8:46 pm

Attention, class.

Titties.

That is all.

ronaldpagan June 20, 2008 at 9:15 pm

Huge budget for a Youtube video. I’m actually surprised there aren’t more McCain girls though. It’s called daddy issues.

-”You are not going out of the house in that trollop makeup.”
-”Abortion? You’ll get an abortion over my dead body.”
-”Missy, you’ll stay in Iraq, and you’ll damn well like it.”
And, of course, “That’s not change we can believe in.”

Come to think of it, I guess there are McCain girls with daddy issues. They’re all old enough to be McCain’s daughters – in their late 40′s or early 50′s – and comment on Hillary is 44. Who knew so many middle-aged women got off on being called cunts?

Outstando June 20, 2008 at 9:19 pm

How much green makeup did they put on that cunt?

masterdebater June 20, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Um…no.

Guppy06 June 20, 2008 at 10:25 pm

OK, so who bankrolled this?

Tits_LaRue June 20, 2008 at 10:26 pm

[re=21572]Beef Supreme[/re]: “As far as I’m concerned that girl’s entire body is property of the Republican Party.”
Yeah, that was the micro-jaw-drop moment for me.

American Dreamer June 20, 2008 at 10:31 pm

She looks like my first grade teacher Miss Bird. Good times.

Uncommon Sense June 20, 2008 at 11:50 pm

Um, what in motherfuck’s name WAS that?

I realize that, now that I’m a lofty 33 years of age, I am officially completely out of the loop and entirely out of touch with the Young Generation (TM) that I thought I was part of, but am slowly beginning to realize I’m not.

Is it just me, or was this perhaps one massive joke? I mean, if you ask me, I think this is an attempt to MOCK Mr. Johnny McGayne, not an endorsement of his old ass.

Not for nothin’ (I’m a former Jerseyite, but I always hated that phrase), but she’s kind of cute. And I don’t normally go for the White Devil broads. Or “cunts,” as McCainites call them.

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 21, 2008 at 2:18 am

[re=21570]loudmouthredhead[/re]: See, what the campaigns don’t realize that they are missing a huge demographic if they just subtly insert Star Trek imagery that they’d sway a sizable voting block (ok, maybe me and a few nerdy friends i’ve managed to collect). I mean, when Hillz was in her Tasha Yar getup, I was intrigued, and my Hope-addict friend was nearly aroused. This too piques my curiosity. Of course, this girl is “where no republican has gone before.”

trai_dep June 21, 2008 at 2:19 am

Err, she DOES have green hair top and bottom, right? Can someone check?
If her vulva isn’t a color darker than Mediterranean tree moss, I’m going to think they used digital FX instead of genetic manipulation and gamma rays. And McGrumpypants anti-bodies.

zhubajie June 21, 2008 at 7:31 am

Is female pro wrestling coming back?

Zhu Bajie

Monsieur Grumpe June 21, 2008 at 7:56 am

3 thumbs up.

AngryBlakGuy June 21, 2008 at 9:41 am

…everytime someone says McCain girls, I keep imagining the Golden Girls!

chef4cook June 21, 2008 at 10:24 am

I love it!

ronaldpagan June 21, 2008 at 11:46 am

[re=21701]Uncommon Sense[/re]: I think she’s cute too. (I was born in Princeton.)

Also, McCain-loving ladies, I can call you cunts too. You are all cunts. Now join the Democrats; we’re easier on your uteri.

Neilist June 21, 2008 at 8:22 pm

[re=21531]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: Goog: In My Humble Opinion, your’s is the winning post.

Just wanted you to know.

Mr Blifil June 21, 2008 at 10:16 pm

Cute, but it’s basically never a good idea to have to resort to using the Carmina Burana music, even as parody.

demtard June 22, 2008 at 12:10 am

Damnit, when will people stop fucking with Carmina Burana?

Mr-Clark June 22, 2008 at 5:34 am

Ken Layne,

It was all that Cindy was willing to spend on Midge. He was lucky to even get that. He thought he got even though, he sent her to Vietnam for a few days, where she appears even taller and more beautiful.

Sincerely and respectfully,

Mr-Clark

bitchincamaro June 22, 2008 at 10:46 am

2-1/2 whore zircon diamonds

American Dreamer June 22, 2008 at 8:01 pm

I dated a girl in law school that turned bright green and all musclely whenever I hit her G spot. But I think that was just all the hormones she was taking since she was a post-operative transexual. Her name was Michelle.

bunnyhead June 23, 2008 at 2:04 am

[re=21720]trai_dep[/re]: Err, she DOES have green hair top and bottom, right? Sorry, that’s so old school; now days the ladies go bald down there – no grass on the playground anymore. And bald is a nice touch ya know, keeping with McCrazy’s senior citizen look. just sayin…

ThreeFingersNeat June 23, 2008 at 8:58 am

2 1/2 whore emeralds.

I have a feeling the sequel will involve Jello wrestling. Green jello.

Lord Humungus June 23, 2008 at 12:03 pm

Every time someone masturbates to muscular cleavage, god kills a kitten.

I can’t have that on my conscience.

thefrontpage June 23, 2008 at 12:23 pm

The video’s terrible, the acting’s terrible–but the girls are hot. Come on, folks, you have to admit that both girls are hot. Geez!

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