Wonkette
Who would make the most terrible running mate for John McCain, an ill-tempered old fraud who is despised by everybody in the Republican Party? Joe Lieberman, of course — another sour old geezer who is despised by everybody in the Democratic Party! It’s a match made in heaven … and here’s why!
- You know how the Clinton-Gore ticket worked, because if you didn’t like the one Southern Boomer douchebag you could maybe like the other Southern Boomer douchebag? Same idea here, except you get a twofer on sanctimonious, warmongering coots with gelatinous faces.
- “Second, Lieberman can help him win a critical group essential to McCain’s victory: Democrats.” AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OOOH AHEM.
- “Adding Lieberman to the ticket could give McCain a shot at [Connecticut's] seven electoral votes, a small but perhaps valuable find in a close election year. At the very least, Obama might have to spend some resources to hold down a traditionally blue state.” In other words, McCain will clevely bankrupt the Obama campaign by forcing them to spend $200 million holding onto Connecticut’s crucial 7 electoral votes.
- Lieberman exudes a “soothing, calm, and reassuring persona” which make people think John McCain isn’t an angry, delusional nutball.
McCain-Lieberman ‘08! It would be magical.
McCain-Lieberman Could Be Just the Ticket [Pajamas Media]
Oh Pleeeease!!! I think i’m getting moist now…
god, please make this happen! this has been my dream team for months!
“soothing, calm, and reassuring persona” = soporific in the extreme. The man is Rohypnol on two legs.
The only two individuals who can rightfully claim the title of “Senator Grumpus”? TOGETHER? Excellent.
Senator Grumpus McJowlsby and Senator Droopus Frownberg would make a great ticket.
That would be a historic joining of the Republican and Likud parties on a single ticket.
And don’t forget their gorgeous wives, Cindy & Hadassah, to get the horny male votes.
#tries to say something but ROFLs instead#
After last night’s Daily Show and Colbert, and today’s Wonkette articles on Biden and Lieberman, I am predicting a sharp rise in the cache of smart-assed, Muppet-related humor. And I’m okay with that.
Wait, can he have Lieberman next to him at the debates to whisper sotto voce,”Errmmm….John? That’s not quite how it works.”
Then McCain can call him a cunt, and we’ll have President Barry. Yay!
Still, you have to admit, it’s a very cheeky idea.
AxmxZ: I know exactly what you mean bud
3rd point is the strongest. Connecticut would like
him as VP so he would no longer be their senator,
Then everyone could share the guilt.
WIN! (if you are a demrat)
EPIC FUCKING FAIL (for GOP)
Let’s add it up, Guy who runs as a maverick (Pffft!) enough to piss off the republican base and the die-hard 29%ers + The same Jew that ran with Massachusettz Kennedy librul John Kerry = EFF4GOP.
Someone make it a law that this must happen. The only bad thing is if we find out Elite Barry Hussein Quaddafi Osama is going to sodomize kitties at the DNC and these GeezeHawks actually end up running things.
Can’t have the Rapture without a Jew.
Who doesn’t want all the charisma of Beaker, the intellect of Animal and the down right good looks of Gonzo as their VP?
I need to start reading more Jennifer Rubin. The guy who went 1 for 2 against a person named Ned is gonna put CT back in play for McCain . . . brilliant.
Carrie_Okie:
John Edwards is a jew?
I’m at work, and I can’t stop laughing at how hilariously awesome this ticket would be. If God has any kind of sense of humor, this has to happen.
This is aimed squarely at the old Jewish voters in Florida, getting one of their kind on the ticket.
I heard that when WALNUTS! wins, he’s gonna make Gloria Estefan Secretary of the Interior.
I like our chances. Either McCain panders to the Larry Craig/Mark Foley wing of the party and picks Charlie “Jesus” Crist, he panders to the anti-evolution,demon exorcising wing of the party and picks Bobby Brady Jin Doll or Mike “Popcorn” Huckabee, or picks one of those other losers who ran against him. Or Joe Lieberman.
Plenty of makefunnery any way you go.
ManchuCandidate:
Not to mention the administrative skills of Dr. Teeth.
“The main reason is obvious: the untimely demise of McCain would allow a Democrat to ascend to the White House…”. And who would that Democrat be?
Perhaps, but can you imagine the smell in the White House Bathrooms if a ticket like that won? That’s some serious old-guy constipation going on there…
They should call the ticket “Old Dirty Bastards”.
First the pubs think picking Pawlenty will win them Minnesota, now they think picking Lieberman will win them Connecticut. Why not pick Putin and win Russia? Shit they must have a whole bunch of electoral votes over there.
Fata Morgana: Plus the bathrooms would have to be well stocked with Super Poligrip and Preparation H. On the hand, I sense comedy gold if the two were to be confused.
weirdiowasculpture: Obviously they should pick Romney so they can win Massachusetts.
I love it. I just came in my pants, in fact.
Gopherit v2.0: And they already see jowl to jowl on everything.
I guess Zell Miller was unavailable? The good thing is that with prostate issues, one of them would likely be awake for the 3am phone call. 3pm might interfere with naps, but I guess they could get on a rotating schedule.
It’ll be like the “Bucket List” except the Nicholson character has “start a fight” as #1 through #10 on his list and the Morgan Freeman character is instead played by a hack borscht belt comedian. I’m thinking Jackie Mason on quaaludes.
William Tecumseh Sherman: Or like the movie Grumpy Old Men.
Lieberman would then be the answer to the trivia question:
“Who’s the only loser in the history of creation to twice lose the election, once for each major party, while running for the office famous for being “not worth a bucket of warm piss”?”
tunamelt: I was thinking the old dudes from Trading Places.
Well, I’ve still got my fingers crossed for lil’ Johnny Jindal.
But this is now a close second choice.
obfuscator: Omigod! Omigod! Could they use Baby I Got Cha Money as their campaign song? Oh could they could they puhleeeeeeze?
Watch it, Imagine, Squeal with Joy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=isfmKb_RP7U
I’d have to assume that at this point the voters of Connecticut are more likely to kill Joe than vote for him for Vice President.
I don’t think it will happen. No ticket could survive that jowl to face ratio. WALNUTS! needs someone with the smooth jawline of Mittens or the Lil’ Exorcist.
AhAHAHAhAHAHAhAAHAaaaAHAHAHAHAHAHA …BwAhHAhAHahaa.
*sniff*
No, actually..AHAHAha..you know the beauty of the thing is..Ahaha..neither are really Republicans! AhHahAha
snig:
Duuude that’s so appropriate! Randolph & Mortimer Duke were a couple of miserable prick olds who got outsmarted and ultimately destroyed by a charismatic young black man who liked smoking weed from time to time.
This would just prove that, as he’s been saying all along, if it’s a matter of great import, John McCain could reach around the aisle. Just when you thought WALNUTS! couldn’t get any more comical, he thinks Joementum will put him over the top? You go, great-great-great granddad!
BTW: I couldn’t post anything more on the beer thread that’s now scrolled off, because I have a life [Canadians are issued one apiece at birth and sternly instructed not to squander it.] I just wanted to point out that those who recoil in horror at Canadian beer and point to Molson and Labatt as examples are clueless. That shit’s just for the tourists and other retards [we have some of those, too, but we don't make them Prime Minister. Well, we didn't used to...] More of that shit gets exported stateside than is quaffed by the locals. And neither brewery is techincially Canadian anymore anyway [thanks Christ], since they are now Yanqui and Belgian chattel. [Sadly, Sleeman's is now Japanese.] Ask ManchuCandidate.
I’d name our better beers, but then you’d want those too [Fuck off! Make your own, dagnabbit!] and WALNUTS! has already threatened to veto “every beer.” Nosireebob!!
Is this country ready to finally get serious about the whole “kids” on our “lawns” problem? The Republican Party says yes!
Canuckledragger: Unibroue is the good stuff, right? I love their Fin du Monde.
OOH! I wanna be the first to say the Joe’s a secret Muslim! I mean he’s not Baptist or Catholic or Mormon, which is already suspicious. And if he’s praying in what he SAYS is Hebrew, how do we know he’s not just using it as a cover to secretly pray to Allah? I mean he hangs out with fundamentalist Neocons, they’d never pick up on the difference. And Haddassah rhymes with Madrassah. AND he doesn’t eat pork. And I’m a yid, so you can’t call me a Jew-hater.
If President Joe keels over Hadassah can take over in a “Dave”-ish manner since they look EXACTLY ALIKE.
Hahahahaha McCain/Lieberman would be an epic fail! But then, if you think about it, so would any potential Republican VP. Romney? Huckabee? Crist? Jindal? Condi? Giuliani? Laughable all.
I’m still crossing my fingers for McCain/Ferraro.
I’m sorry, but a McCain/Lieberman ticket would exceed my recommended yearly intake of old white man jowls.
ronaldpagan:
Gerri Ferrari would be a great pick. She would have the distinction of being the first female to be on both major party tickets. Also, a whole new generation of Americans would get to see her be a loser.
I think it’d be worth it, if only for The Men of the Oval Office Swimsuit Calendar. The European swimsuit calendar.
Team Aspercream?
It’s a great combination. Oily John and Vinegar Joe. They could call it the “Salad Ticket.”
I have a plan. You know that thing that was happening on the internets, that “pretend you’re a Clinton supporter who will vote for McCain if she doesn’t win” thing? Well, my plan is sort of like that, only we all pretend to be McCain supporters who love the fucking shit out of that darling, wonderful, totally patriotic, bipartisan not-Democrat independent guy Joe Lieberman. I don’t know if it will work, but if it does, oh, yeah, what a smile.
obfuscator: She’s one of the few people who could make McCain look rational, likable, and spry. The exact mentality Bush went for when he chose Cheney.
Tits_LaRue: OMG fantastic! “I’m Jewish, and me and all the ladies at the mah jongg club think that handsome boy Baruch Obama sounds like a real mensch. We will probably vote for him. Unless, of course, McCain’s ticket has Lieberman on it.”
“Waspy McWasperson from the Nutmeg State here, and John McCain seriously needs to tap into that Lieberman magic!”
It would be fun to do the same thing to goad Ron Paul into running as an independent, but no one who ventures into cyber-Paultardia ever makes it out unscathed.
gjdodger: Will you, sir, be the one to step up and toss that salad?
If you didn’t nut over this dream ticket, then you’re not human.
Walnuts
~Vinegar ‘08!
I cant even pretend to know who that would appeal to. He further alienates conservatives by adding someone still viewed as a Democrat (minus the attacking Iran fetish), he further alienates anyone younger than 70 years old, he further alienates southerners by added a Norther Eastern Liberal J00, he further alienates people who do not support the war, he further alienates people who are sick of life long Washington insiders, he further alienates people who hated droopy dog cartoons, he further alienates any damn kids on their respective lawns who have reached voting age, he further alienates women by creating the most aesthetically unattractive ticket ever, and he almost certainly ensures that someone like Ned Lamont can swoop in and snag Lieberman’s seat.
This ticket really is solid gold, because I tend to vote Democrat.
He’s got the vote of the uh jowl fetish community: http://www.236.com/news/2008/06/19/i_wanna_be_number_two_joe_lieb_1_7243.php
Magical indeed.
I really want this McCain/Lieberman ticket to happen, and it’s my birthday next week, so God has to give it to me.
@Canuckledragger: great people, great country…the beer, well, it’s coming along nicely. Frankly I was more surprised by how good the wine was. I thought I researched this issue when I was up in Victoria two Junes ago, and I expected some righteous manly IPAs because of the climate. Didn’t find anything as bold as we’ve got here in Northern Cal. It seemed like the microbreweries went more for a flowery genteel English style in them, instead of the real bitter San Francisco-to-Seattle style. Haven’t tried the Quebec Belgian-styles yet, though. I remember moaning about sixpacks that cost over $10, but that was before the price of hops went up and Bush turned the dollar to goat fodder, so it’s $10 down here now, and no socialized medicine, either.
Statler-Waldorf ‘08!
“Why do we always come here?
I guess we’ll never know
It’s like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show!”
Maybe Barry needs to Tap Vinegar Joe as his warm bucket of piss, because everyone knows Barry has problems with the Jooz
Hmmm. Walnuts and vinegar = the beginnings of a waldorf salad. Liebermann looks like Waldorf of Statler & Waldorf. Coincidence? Or inevitability?
This will only work if Joe finally does what the Holy Spirit has been urging and gives his heart to Jesus Christ. Presto, you’ve got the Christers back in the fold, hallelujah.