WHORES  12:59 pm June 20, 2008

Scott McClellan Tells Congress His Many Terrible Secrets!

by Jim Newell

Former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan testified in Congress today about his terrible book, What Happened When I Did Yo Mama, and told them that President Bush may have vaguely possibly ordered former chief of staff Andy Card to order McClellan to deny I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby XVII’s involvement in leaking Valerie Plame’s name, to the press. At least there is “suspicion” Bush and Cheney were involved, somehow, McClellan thinks. Scott McClellan is very Important for this. [AP]

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AngryBlakGuy June 20, 2008 at 1:01 pm

…he later admitted to stealing the cookie from the cookie jar!

Servo June 20, 2008 at 1:04 pm

Cheney suspicious? Whatever gave you that idea?

weirdiowasculpture June 20, 2008 at 1:04 pm

It’s also Important that Scott keep his hands out of the pockets of his special trick pleated trousers and on top of the table throughout the proceedings. The committee has to maintain a certain decorum, you know.

AngryBlakGuy June 20, 2008 at 1:05 pm

…during his deposition his skin had a wonderful Polonioum 210 glow!

problemwithcaring June 20, 2008 at 1:09 pm

[re=21077]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: No, not really, just that the cookie was stolen; and that if the president stole it, he didn’t do so intentionally.

SuperRounder June 20, 2008 at 1:09 pm

[re=21077]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Cindy McCain stole the recipe, McClellan stole the cookie. Culture of Corruption my friend. Culture of Corruption.

TGY June 20, 2008 at 1:09 pm

“President Bush may have vaguely possibly ordered former chief of staff Andy Card to order McClellan to deny..”

Oooh, the drama.

Lolo June 20, 2008 at 1:13 pm

AngryBlackGuy, I love you! You are a Wonkette institution. Probably don’t have a decent job, because you’re always snarking online (God bless you). Nevertheless, you’re aces in my book!

Dave J. June 20, 2008 at 1:13 pm

Scott McClellan is aware of…aw, fuck it. I bet he has folds in his back that smell like old, wet cheese.

Doglessliberal June 20, 2008 at 1:13 pm

[re=21089]TGY[/re]: yeah, you really wish one of these ballless wonders would grow some (or would have 5 years ago) and stand up and say “they ALL lied, are lying now, and will continue to lie in perpetuity. You have been taken for a huge ride, and a lot of people made a ton of money by screwing you.” But won’t happen.

AxmxZ June 20, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Upon returning home from the testimony, Scott McClellan discovered that someone had broken into his apartment, viciously strangled his pet canary and left a note on the birdcage floor “You’re next.”

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 1:16 pm

Beautifu. Issa’s asking,”Dude, couldn’t you have waited until after the election? That was a dick move, man.”

Or something like that.

Walter Sobchak June 20, 2008 at 1:19 pm

Unrelated, but did anyone else notice that Walnuts is campaigning in Canada today? Is he really senile enough to forget that it’s not part of this country? (Except Winsdor)

metropolitan June 20, 2008 at 1:19 pm

about as timely as gore’s endorsement of obama.

kudzu June 20, 2008 at 1:23 pm

McClellan told the House Judiciary Committee that he doesn’t know if a crime was committed.

Yes, he does. Hes just chickening out due to the threats he’s been getting from the wingnuts.

greatgooglymoogly June 20, 2008 at 1:28 pm

So, how long before HE goes out back to HIS mother’s shed and hangs HIMself?

This is gettin’ monotonous, I tells ya.

SayItWithWookies June 20, 2008 at 1:31 pm

McClellan said he does not believe Bush knew about or caused the leak.
Oh, right — he always means well, our little Georgie. It’s just that Cheney kid is a bad influence — what with his snarl, and the putting of squirrels in the microwave, and the waterboarding and burning down Iraq with the guided weapons. Georgie would never do that.

MoodProcessor June 20, 2008 at 1:37 pm

I can neither confirm nor deny those implied confirmations and/or denials. It’s possible that something might have happened but probably not, mostly. It’s a definite maybe.

TGY June 20, 2008 at 1:40 pm

[re=21109]greatgooglymoogly[/re]: Not for Scott Mclellan is the noose: rather, he’d choke on his own words and waterboard himself to death with verbal constipation.

Gopherit v2.0 June 20, 2008 at 1:43 pm

Who is this douche equating Dubya’s handling of Iraq to D-Day?

Advocatus_Diaboli June 20, 2008 at 1:44 pm

Ah, I can never get enough of Puffy McMoonface.

Fuck You and the Retarded Ivy-League-Schooled Cowboy-Wannabee Jackass Horse you rode in on.

KevoTron June 20, 2008 at 1:58 pm

FISA just passed with immunity. Listen up Wonketteers: Your government hates you and thinks you’re stupid.

disgustedcitizen June 20, 2008 at 2:19 pm

[re=21105]kudzu[/re]: I fully expect he will soon announce that his book was suppose to go in the FICTION isle.

Uncle Al June 20, 2008 at 2:20 pm

For his entire life, every time Chimpy has said anything, it has come out 8 shades of stupid. So I love these guys who are just noticing that something seems to be amiss….

gurukalehuru June 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm

He was lying back then, he’s lying now, he was probably lying in the book, and the fact that he always looks seriously uncomfortable when he’s lying, which some people assumed meant he felt guilty, is just part of the lie. He’s not a bit uncomfortable. The whole book thing was just so he could get back in front of Congress and lie some more.

AngryBlakGuy June 20, 2008 at 2:25 pm

[re=21094]Lolo[/re]: …Im entirely to ANGRY and BLAK to have steady employment!

thefrontpage June 20, 2008 at 2:26 pm

Scott McClellan should run for president in four years–he would win.

SayItWithWookies June 20, 2008 at 2:48 pm

[re=21148]KevoTron[/re]: Oh grand — we’re fucked. Still and again.
from the World Atlas:
The United States of America
Population: 310 million
Area: 9,826,630 sq. miles
Exports: War, Stupidity
Form of Government: Unconstitutional Monarchy

AnnieGetYourFun June 20, 2008 at 3:23 pm

[re=21148]KevoTron[/re]: Ha! My government hates me. That’s not news.

Makeithurt June 20, 2008 at 3:30 pm

Scottie — if you had balls I’d say we should string you up by them for being such a goddamned pussy all these years. Shoulda said something a little earlier, you little puke, before, oh ’bout, 5,000 American troops died and god only knows how many scores of thousands terribly terribly wounded — not to mention the 100,000+ Iraqis.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 20, 2008 at 3:42 pm

Rove kept telling me that if I just said the right thing, he would give me a twinkie. How could any man resist?!?

KevoTron June 20, 2008 at 4:15 pm

[re=21322]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: Okay, but did you know they think you’re stupid?

Seriously, this FISA shit really pisses me off. Where the fuck was Hopey on this one? That bastard should have said SOMETHING about it in the last two days… Maybe his encouragement would have helped. This fucking Democratic congress is a fucking joke.

heathenish June 20, 2008 at 10:16 pm

He also suggested that Bush could do much to redeem his credibility if he would embrace “openness and candor and then constantly strive to build trust across the aisle.” – so yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen when pigs are flying or hell HAS actually frozen over. I am glad I’m not the only one who thinks Scott’s still a douche.

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