Wonkette
Senator Joe Biden offers precisely two things in great abundance: hair plugs and talking. And recently, he has been talking about foreign policy, national security, and the number of offices he could hold in an Obama administration. He will be Secretary of State, Vice President, Chief Gigolo, Assistant Resident Window-Washer, and anything else a President Obama wants him to be.
“I’d make a great president. I’d make a great secretary of state. I’d make a great vice president,” Biden said this week.
Joe Biden is from Delaware, the most reprehensible state in the nation.
Self-proclaimed surrogate says he is not auditioning [The Hill]
When will Joe Biden start talking about hair plugs? That’s what we really care about.
holy cow, that Delaware screed is something else.
And is Biden trying not to get the job? Any job? Because displaying your overweening ego is not the right way to convince someone to make you VP.
I just want Biden in a position where he can say as many hilarious things to as many VIPs as possible. Also, I would like him somewhere that he cannot fellate financial institutions anymore.
Boy, you comment on how clean someone is and they’re willing to give you just about every job in the world.
Yay!!! Finally, my boy Sam the Eagle gets some face time… Why of why won’t they accept him as a “patriot” over at Cuntry above Self??? Look at him! He shits red white and blue bird poop!
“I’d make a great president in an Obama administration… “
Doglessliberal: Amen on the anti-Delaware jeremiad — just to tempt others into peeking at it, check this out:
“It presents itself as a plucky underdog peopled by a benevolent, public-spirited, entrepreneurial citizenry. In truth, it is a rapacious parasite state with a long history of disloyalty and avarice.”
It goes on and on like that.
Oh, and Joe Biden ran for president? Really?
Godless Liberal *: The second point rules out Government. Perhaps Michelle can get him on “The View?”
“Shine your shoes, mister? Comb your hair for you? Wait, I guess you don’t really need much in way of combing… I know! I can read your kids bedtime stories while you’re away Presidenting!”
SayItWithWookies: yeah, is costs like 11 billion dollars to drive from NoVa to Jersey shore and all but a couple of those dollars are in DE. What does it need the money for, anyway?
Godless Liberal *:
UN Ambassador? He could offend a hemisphere a day:
“All this guy ever says is a noun, a verb, and the Holocaust!”
All I know about Delaware is that they don’t pay taxes there, but make me pay like $10 in tolls to drive though their state.
Hey, Biden and Lieberman should form a ticket: The Joe Blowhard Ticket.
OK, stupid joke. But they do share a lot of pomposity and hot air.
Can Joe just be called the Democratic Id? We should just let him loose to vent whatever pops into his head. We all think this stuff, and hilarity would ensue!
Biden’s son (Delaware AG) helped the feds kidnap/arrest the troublesome Larry Sinclair, so Obama owes him.
Doglessliberal:
…and those are they’re good qualities.
Doglessliberal: They could spend a few bucks on making Dover not smell like northern New Jersey.
bhosp: Has anyone proven Delaware to be an actual state? I think it may just be a toll bridge and corporate PO Box.
Here’s something Joe doesn’t know jack-shit about: EYEBROWS. Grow ‘em and groom ‘em, Joe. Heavy brows are a manly virtue and a mark of honor. Any man with wan, feathery brows is a coward and a traitor. Sorry, Joe, that’s just the way it is.
Yes, they’re slightly better than they used to be (in that they’re actually visible from certain angles when the light hits them just right), and for that Biden should tip his hair-plugger and makeup staff handsomely. Still, my four-year-old daughter has more righteous brows than this Delaware milquetoast.
I think Joe would make a mighty fine lawn jockey in the Obama administration.
Did Delaware kill this guy’s dog or something?
Gormogon: Don’t forget the beautiful town of North Ocean City, or whatever it’s called. It’s actually very pretty and tidy on account of all the gays who vacation there.
loudmouthredhead: You echoed my thoughts exactly. Biden suffers terribly from foot-in-mouth disease, but he lets fly a couple of gems too.
edgydrifter:
Where do you think his plugs were harvested from?
Well, we already know that Joe would make a great Press Secretary. Such a spokesman… he could just go on and on about how amazing it is that Obama is black and speaks in whole sentences.
obfuscator: At this rate he’s setting himself up for a nice Ambassadorship in a nation of strategic import, like Greenland.
obfuscator: Harry Reid’s taint?
…Joe Biden: Secretary of Tourettes Syndrome!
…Joe Biden: Secretary of “oh shit, was that mic on?!”
…Joe Biden: Secretary of Look at me!!!
ThreeFingersNeat: How’s it go, the standard retort, racist,sexist,homo phob etc..
I thought Wyoming was the most reprehensible state in the union. They got Cheney, coal, and gay cowboys. All Delaware’s got is some stupid toll roads. Not even close.
I especially like the part about Delaware being the last state to do away with various forms of corporal punishment like the pillory and flogging convicts. Betcha they sold all those unused pillories and cat-o-nine-tails to the Sex Museum in NYC for a tidy profit, tho!
SayItWithWookies: that would be Rehobeth (sp?). And Lewes.
queeraselvis v 2.0: ir they were quietly spirited off into the basements of certain government officials with specialized boudoir tastes.
geez, that would be Or not Ir
HA! I remember that Delaware article. Still true, and the tolls are higher. The New Republic still sucks donkey, though.
How about just giving “bright and articulate” Biden the damn Secretary of White Liberal Apologies for Lingering Inadvertent Racism?
Why would the DNC want another white guy on the ticket?
edgydrifter: Does that make him a “crappy headed Joe”?
Definition: The ‘Biden statement’ - the complete reverse of the ‘Sherman statement’.
Biden: Secretary of Scotch
Biden: Secretary of Furtive Sexual Looks
Biden: Secretary of The Only Person Who Really Gets The MIdeast
Biden: Secretary of Loose Canons
Biden: Secretary of Stop Playing to the Audience and Just Be the Smart Guy you are
I had never given much (or any) thought to Delaware before, but after reading that article, I think I speak for all Americans when I say: fuck Delaware.
Jod Biden would make a great U.S. Ambassador to Alaska.
DoctorCulturae:
The Secretary of Calling ‘Bullshit’.
Didn’t he die and then come back to life when they put bolts on his neck and electrified his brain?
Is Joe Biden again repeating something that Neil Kinnock originally said 20 years ago? “I’d make a great Chancellor of the Exchequer. I’d make a great Prime Minister. I’d make a great King.”
edgydrifter:
Chris Dodd, now that guy has some fucking eyebrows.
DoctorCulturae: I hear that Pachelbel’s Canon is a complete whore.
SayItWithWookies: Arg. Cannon! Not…enufff… caffeine….
SayItWithWookies: Or maybe he likes rounds?
Gormogon: I think Sinclair did a smidge more to get Sinclair arrested. (Get banned, Hilltard.)
Doglessliberal: Seriously! Did Delaware piss in this guy’s coffee or what?