Wonkette
Famous American blogger Mike Huckabee is in Japan right now, eating sushi and looking at solar things. He wants his fellow Republicans to beware “disputable ‘internet facts’” and “internet driven drivel” about Barack Obama. Oh Mr. Huckabee you lovable nut! The Internet is nothing but disputable facts and driven drivel. [Huck PAC]
RIGHT-WING BLOGOSPHERE
Mike Huckabee Writes Important Things From Japan
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11:30 AM
on Fri June 20 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
1291 Views
The day teh Huckabeez eat sushi is the day they deepfry sushi in onion ring batter and fill it with delicious jellies
How did he clear customs in Japan?
I wonder if his hosts sent a hooker up to his room like in “Lost in Translation?”
But isn’t Mike Huckabee aware of all Internet trad… oh fuck it.
Huck is apparently not aware of all Internet traditions…
It’s adorable, it’s like the little feller is writing home from summer camp. He even signs it “Sayonara.” He’s so precocious!
His plan to raise taxes would be an economic disaster for our nation. We would lose jobs and investment and see the economy really squeeze the working class with even higher fuel and food prices.
Oh, choke on a piece of blowfish, you pompous lardbag.
Okay, after reading that, I like the guy. I really do. He’s like the only decent Republican in the country.
…I envision the locals running away from his massive family with badly dubbed American accents!
Remind us again who Mike Huckabee is? Some Japanese official?
Serolf Divad:
Nah. She’d through a full bowl of katsu-don at him at first sight.
“Politics ought to be VERTICAL.” Bravo. It’s time someone took a stand and said that. I am sick of the horizonto-diagonalists poisoning the wellspring of democracy.
AngryBlakGuy:
Aiiiieeee! Huckabee-ja!
AngryBlakGuy:
Mothra!
“Elections ought to be about elevating the best ideas and exposing the worst ones—not engaging in character assassination with half truths, innuendoes, and disputable ‘internet facts.’”
If he would have just said that, Barry might have considered him for VEEP, but trashing the tax plan had to drop him behind “Dill Everywhere” Webb.
I want to thank Mike Huckabee for reminding us how vile it is to save a woman’s life when she is being killed by the fetus inside her. And how vile it is to not bring into the world a fetus that has no brain, or otherwise will be dead the moment it is delivered from its mother. How vile that Obama would want to prevent these things!
queeraselvis v 2.0:
Haven’t you learned by now that Huckabee and his minions are the nation’s premiere experts in the Heimlich maneuver?
Huck Pac. Really? Why does that make me want to trip him in a hallway and take his lunch money? Republicans are just clueless when it comes to this image stuff. They can’t even hire an image consultant, because everyone they know is a clueless republican fuckwad too. Hang in there Mike, that folksy Reagan area world view is bound to come back into fasion…you know, if you live long enough.
His plan to raise taxes would be an economic disaster for our nation. We would lose jobs and investment and see the economy really squeeze the working class with even higher fuel and food prices.
Old Huckz’s judgment is being impaired by jetlag: we’re already an economic disaster.
Let’s offer Huckz to make him Emperor if he does us the favor of declaring Arkanzas’ independence. We invade the state for a couple of hours, install Huckz the First as Emperor of Redneckland and then we go back to the civilized part of the planet, just north the Mason-Dixon line.
“He has stated that he would be an activist in seeking to push for what the anti-life forces euphemistically call “reproductive rights.” Under my new plan for America, there would be no need for reproductive rights, because there would be no need for reproduction! See, they’ve got this nifty thing in Japan called hentai pornography…”
masterdebater: I’m guessing you didn’t see the little teenage men from HucskArmy.com on CNN this morning? They were really into the image, what with the abercrombie looking t-shirt in army green. http://www.hucksarmy.com/
kudzu: Heck, he’s already Emperor of Redneckland. I say we gather up all those Tennessee “Democrats” who think Obama is terrorist connected, send them across the Mississippi River bridge, and then bomb Arkansas back to the stone age. Not that the folks there would notice much of a difference, but still, it’s a good start.
AxmxZ: My favorite part of that line is how he calls the “reproductive rights” a euphemism in the same breath as the term “anti-life” and does so seemingly without the faintest glimmer of intentional irony.
To the people of Japan,
PLEASE DO NOT HARPOON THE RAVENOUS LAND MONSTER! He’s a lovable politician. We’d like him back for our amusement. We apologize for single-handedly driving up your food prices. Our Bad.
Sincerely,
Amur’ca.
“Aiee! The guns! They have no effect! Protect the hentai and the panty vending machines!”
Brutus Harlot: At a whopping 18,017 members strong, Huck’s Army would be clobbered by even the hcsfjm.com crew.
oh, if only hillary’s campaign team had listened to huckabee’s advoce she’d be on obama’s ticket now as the VP. too bad that logic doesn’t work on the GOP and he just nixed all his chances at becoming mccain’s VP with that post.
AxmxZ: “HAHA! As if women could HANDLE power over their own bodies! *snort* What will that colored boy say next!? Support our troops and fetuses!”
queeraselvis v 2.0: How about we make Arkansas into a lake to drain Iowa into?
Godless Liberal *: I just got very close to sending an email asking how a tank fits in with their Christian faith. But I was scared they would take it as advice and get a better logo, or would send back some frigthening email about the crusades.
Servo: Sir, you cannot bring livestock into the country. OH! Those are your sons! I am am shamed…..”
So let me get this straight: he’s using the Internet to write about how one shouldn’t trust anything written on the Internet. Huckabee for Dancing Hamster ‘08!
Brutus Harlot: Shouldn’t that logo be a pickup truck with a huge cross on it and a dead squirrel/deer/varmint in the back?
Uncle Al: Sayonara? That one o’ them Chinese cars?
AxmxZ:
I especially liked the use of the term “anti-life forces”, and I especially liked him hypocritially snarking the anti-life forces for using euphemisms to mask their babymurder agenda in the same sentence. Combine that with the name “Huck PAC”, and you’ve got a true King of the Douchebags.
Also, his Fair Tax idea is retarded.
They miss the dogs. Hope they used a professional kennel…
Brutus Harlot: They have a Presidential Prayer Team! With phone-in meetings at 8pm EST every Monday (it doesn’t say EDT — does GOD allow daylight savings or is that some vile euphemism for abortion?). They ask GOD to do an awful lot of things — appoint conservative judges, lower taxes and increase spending. In fact, this poor GOD fellow must be awfully sick of the constant haranguing from the Prayer Warriors. “Hey GOD, could you please grant telecoms immunity? Hey GOD, could you please legalize my handguns? Hey GOD — ” they’re probably one big Prayer Battle away from a big GODly smackdown. But I kid — I kid because I hate.
Hucklebee always seemd to me like a decent guy with a good sense of humor.
It’s a real shame about all that bible stuff.
Judging from the (hilariously depressing) comments on that post, apparently the wingnuts are buying into the Obama messiah thing now: “That is just another reason to be very wary of Him.”
loudmouthredhead: This has funny
thefrontpage: You’re thinking of Mike Hukabi.
Huck’s secret mission over there is to find the recipe for egg salad so good you could plotz.
I’m a little uneasy about him saying that he misses the dogs right after he complains about how bad the food is.
m_supercomputer: He whose name shall not be spoken… I wonder if they think Barry will manifest in front of them if they say his name three times into a mirror. Oh, and then scare the crap out of them with his blackness.
SayItWithWookies: All I ask God is to find me a parking space.
Oh, and that I please not be pregnant. But she makes me pay for the test before she tells me she granted that prayer.
re: driven drivel: Sure, laugh it up, but my Drivel gets way better gas mileage than what I used to drive.
Godless Liberal *:
You beat me to it.
Huckabee and other conservatives aren’t capable of understanding irony because they’re so busy embodying irony.
While here in Japan, I have seen for myself what anti-life forces like Godzilla, Mothra and Rodin the Flying Monster can do to a nation.
off topic, but ooh, panda might be knocked up!
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/20/AR2008062001113.html?hpid%3Dtopnews&sub=AR
WadISay: The flying spaghetti monster is in Japan and Huckabee has seen it?
HuckPAC is sound someone makes when spitting out a very large glob of nose mucus. Very appropriate name in this case.
Brutus Harlot: Plan B: Better than God.
SayItWithWookies: Plan B? Why you have no sanctity of life. I’m reporting you to Huck’s Army.
Brutus Harlot: Nono, he ate it. He loves noodly appendages.
Brutus Harlot: Oh you have no idea — I would give up vegetarianism to eat a fetus that I had conceived. Let their GOD chew on that for a while.
Doglessliberal: Awesome. The new Wonkette isn’t anti-panda, is it? I hope not. I already have the perfect name: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butterstick.
Doc:
Huckabee’s Ideas Right for America!
Vertical = upward = Higher Ground.
Mike Huckabee for President!!
p.s could someone help me replace my ranger star with another graphic (like Huskers for Huckabee or Deborah in Dayton or Tyger. Thanks)
Dear gawd, they are learning our language and the concept of logic! They have reached the beginnings of playing with words! Soon they’ll discover flint and fire! We’re all DOOMED! AHHHHH! Hide in your liberal apocalypse bunkers!
SayItWithWookies: oh, that’s a goody!
Oh please please please will someone photoshop a pair of anime eyes onto Huckabee.
Poor, Hucks. He talks like the GOP cares what he has to say.
benj-thewrathofgod: I second that!
Hook-ah-bay-ee San!
Snarkless question here: what is he doing in japan? Did someone there hire him to speak at something? I’m confused…
…they have squirrel sushi in Japan?
Also, can we rename truck-stops ‘Huck and pukes’? I’m sure trucknutz would be a big seller.
weirdiowasculpture: What’s Up, Tigerlily - very good.
pondscum: Possibly they asked him to speak about weight-loss to sumo wrestlers.
Mike, thanks for the pro forma Fetus Litany rap and two rousing choruses of “There’s a Better Way To Keep That Negro Down.” Since sushi makes you insecure about your masculinity, how about eating your banjo?
jagorev: Word. Even if you disagree with the guy, it seems like he might be a decent guy. His sons, on the other hand….
TGY:
Hucknutz?
Serolf Divad:
Nah. He’s too extra-christ-y for a hooker. But they did send some peanut butter and a side of beef.
Fast and Furious, Tokyo Drift: Huckabee’s Revenge
http://www.indieking.com/images2/Deeds1.jpg
obfuscator: Those are some big nutz.
is there some rule in the comments section of old Huckpac that every poster must use at least ten sets of ellipses in each paragraph? It hurts my brain.
マイクhuckabeeは、犬の尻を追う
Every japanese know gaijin people should be treated like cuddly pets or children. You pamper them, touch their unusual hair, laugh at their sad joke. You feed them and put out newspaper to train them.
It important to smile politely when crazy man talk, and make that udon-noodle sucking when ever he raise diplomatic point or says his unsanitary name Huckilberry