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NIGHTMARE TICKET

More Definitive Proof That Hillary Will Be Obama’s VP

They make out together all the time, secretlyNext week Hillary Clinton will be campaigning with Barack Obama, which means only one thing: the former candidate and the current candidate are totally in cahoots and having phone sex all the time to discuss how they can break the hearts of millions of Obamatards across the nation by making Clinton Obama’s running “mate.”

The Obama campaign sent out an email saying that Barack and Hillary would be meeting with Hillary’s donors next Thursday, and then next Friday they will campaign together. As we type this, Keith Olbermann is furiously scribbling a 45-minute Special Comment about how Barack Obama has ruined America and Democracy, and has he no sense of decency Sir, &c., while simultaneously wanking into an old sock.

Obama, Hillary Clinton to campaign together [AP]


10:55 AM on Fri June 20 2008
By Sara K. Smith
4223 Views

  1. Brutus Harlot says at 10:59 am, June 20th, 2008

    What did you expect know that Webb’s in the middle of the atlantic drilling for oil with his bare hands?

  2. jagorev says at 10:59 am, June 20th, 2008

    That picture is clearly photoshopped, because their clothes are still on.

  3. AngryBlakGuy says at 10:59 am, June 20th, 2008

    …OH GOD!!! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!!!

  4. Doglessliberal says at 11:00 am, June 20th, 2008

    I just cannot believe, after how intelligently he (and Plouffey) have run his campaign to date, he would pick her. It would just be plain old boneheadedness.

  5. RuperttheBear says at 11:01 am, June 20th, 2008

    Crispy socks for dinner at the Olbermann’s

  6. Cookie Guggelman says at 11:02 am, June 20th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Politicians are funny that way.

  7. Darehead says at 11:04 am, June 20th, 2008

    Dream scheme! But “Bararry” is too hard for foreigns to pronunciate.

  8. AngryBlakGuy says at 11:06 am, June 20th, 2008

    …in the Hell Dimension all that pointing and clapping is considered a mating dance!

  9. Hurtswen IP says at 11:11 am, June 20th, 2008

    Holy Shit, Batman! He’s eating her face!

  10. She’s the hood ornament of bipartisan politics and not conducive to his more centered stance.

  11. jann9884 says at 11:12 am, June 20th, 2008

    Doglessliberal:

    but…

    this could really confuse all those retard former hillary supporters who said they were going to vote for mccain!

  12. Nasara says at 11:12 am, June 20th, 2008

    Who’s bottom?

  13. capitol-hillbilly says at 11:12 am, June 20th, 2008

    i saw john mccain on teevee last night. did you know he is deformed?

  14. Hillary is not the issue here but her donors. Barry’s gonna meet with them and he’s gonna make her his running mate to keep them happy. Above all, Barry needs to make sure they get a decent return on their investment in the next four to eight years. Otherwise they’ll send in Vinnie and Guido to break his kneepads, stuff him in a sack, throw him in the trunk of a Towncar, and send him on his way to sleeping with the fishes in the Potomac.

  15. bmannes says at 11:16 am, June 20th, 2008

    capitol-hillbilly: He’s not deformed. He just had a piece of his butt cheek grafted to his jowl to cover up the skin cancer. All hail President Buttface.

  16. scotterl says at 11:22 am, June 20th, 2008

    He’s not deformed, he’s just a bit squirrelly.

  17. obfuscator says at 11:23 am, June 20th, 2008

    bmannes:

    “Aye aye… Admiral Buttface.”

  18. masterdebater says at 11:26 am, June 20th, 2008

    It looks like her eyes are open in that picture. I think she’s faking it.

  19. Godless Liberal * says at 11:26 am, June 20th, 2008

    So…at this point, why, exactly, does he need her? He doesn’t need her donors’ stacks of cash, he appears to have won over enough of her primary backers to all but guarantee a win in November, and it’s not like he needs her speaking prowess to fire up crowds.

  20. Brutus Harlot says at 11:27 am, June 20th, 2008

    scotterl: Did you say squirrelly?

    more cat pictures

  21. metropolitan says at 11:28 am, June 20th, 2008

    well i suppose it’s possible but that’s mainly because i can’t imagine hillary doing something purely for the good of her party if it didn’t directly lead to her getting something she wants.

  22. The Clintons won’t do a damn thing unless there’s money and power in it for them.

  23. Brutus Harlot says at 11:33 am, June 20th, 2008

    Brutus Harlot: That didn’t quite work. Scroll down until you see said squirrel.

  24. wheelie says at 11:44 am, June 20th, 2008

    As we type this, Keith Olbermann is furiously scribbling a 45-minute Special Comment about how Barack Obama has ruined America and Democracy, and has he no sense of decency Sir, &c., while simultaneously wanking into an old sock.

    More proof that Vanity fair is wrong. The blog is way funnier than the headline.

  25. She’s trying to turn him back into a frog. Fat chance.

  26. Doglessliberal says at 11:51 am, June 20th, 2008

    jann9884: but it also could drive away a lot of moderates and independents who would rather die than vote for her.

  27. youknew says at 11:58 am, June 20th, 2008

    If he chooses her I will vote Nader. This I vow.

  28. tunamelt says at 12:00 pm, June 20th, 2008

    Oh, ew. Really… just ew.

  29. Brutus Harlot says at 12:02 pm, June 20th, 2008

    youknew: Will you start a web site with lots of internets tradishuns?

  30. Lascauxcaveman says at 12:04 pm, June 20th, 2008

    youknew: Yes, that would totally make sense.

    Because putting John McCain in the white house would be soooo much better than having Hils at the Naval Observatory.

    Tool.

  31. jann9884 says at 12:09 pm, June 20th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: then it becomes one of those strange questions that don’t have one right answer…

    who do the independents hate more? hilz or mccain?

  32. Doglessliberal says at 12:15 pm, June 20th, 2008

    jann9884: it is like a Zen koan.

  33. Doglessliberal says at 12:16 pm, June 20th, 2008
  34. SayItWithWookies says at 12:17 pm, June 20th, 2008

    jann9884: It varies depending on whoever Rush is complaining about more on any given day. The poor confused bastards are gonna end up with whiplash trying to follow the OxyContin-tinged leader of Operation Blowhard — and then Pat Buchanan will win Florida, the end.

  35. queeraselvis v 2.0 says at 12:18 pm, June 20th, 2008

    I can haz kissy blackface?

  36. PioBaroja says at 12:19 pm, June 20th, 2008

    Now that’s RACIAL TRANSCENDENCE!

  37. ThreeFingersNeat says at 12:22 pm, June 20th, 2008

    I’ll have you know, sir, that Mr. Olbermann only wanks off into new socks!

    Lascauxcaveman: I suspect youknew is being sarcastic. At least I hope so.

  38. Tits_LaRue says at 12:31 pm, June 20th, 2008

    Did you just call Laura Ingraham an old sock?

  39. SuperRounder says at 12:33 pm, June 20th, 2008

    Something tells me the Bill would be really turned on by a Hillz-Hopey makeout session.

    Bill: “Does this mean I get Michelle? Oh, man. My staffers try to warn me but that but she got makes m-m-me so horny.”

  40. WonkaBee says at 12:46 pm, June 20th, 2008

    Guess who’s coming to (the fundraising) dinner?

  41. RaptorAvatar says at 12:49 pm, June 20th, 2008

    When she kills him so she can be president it had better be poetic. I’m talking dagger in the chest on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial as a flock of doves are released, prefferably during the ides of march poetic. None of this “deranged loner with suspicious ties” on some random day in February bullshit.

  42. NoWireHangers says at 12:58 pm, June 20th, 2008

    If you think the screen shot is bad, watch the whole video. I actually kind of love it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHDWo2LNIaM

  43. Lascauxcaveman says at 1:22 pm, June 20th, 2008

    ThreeFingersNeat: Ehhrm, you could be right. It’s not like I’ve ever seen an earnest miscarriage of logic in the hallowed halls of Wonkette commenterdom.

    I suspect I may be being sarcastic.

  44. lawrenceofthedesert says at 1:36 pm, June 20th, 2008

    She’s hoping he’ll back away from his first choice for Vice President, Dan Rostenkowski.

  45. junkscience says at 2:00 pm, June 20th, 2008

    The barf. It’s in my mouth.

  46. DoctorCulturae says at 2:31 pm, June 20th, 2008

    kudzu: Gotta be the power of the donors, cuz the dough is no prob for Hopey at this point. Cutting off of legs is not conducive to efficient governing or playing b-ball.

    Expect the Hopey-Hilz rally will be most excellent theatre.

  47. trojanjustin says at 2:35 pm, June 20th, 2008

    “As we type this, Keith Olbermann is furiously scribbling a 45-minute Special Comment about how Barack Obama has ruined America and Democracy, and has he no sense of decency Sir…” quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks.

  48. Shypixel says at 2:35 pm, June 20th, 2008

    So… how soon after the death of a President does the VP assume full presidential powers?

    I know what Hillz is thinking: She stabs him right in the Oval Office, assumes power, and pardons herself.

  49. Neilist says at 2:39 pm, June 20th, 2008

    I saw that picture and spit partly chewed onion bagel (light on the cream cheese, please) and Starbucks all over my keyboard.

    Thanks, Sara.

    Thanks a whole lot.

  50. She’s just curious its been a while since she kissed a man

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