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THUGS

America’s Mayor: Obama Is 9/11

Rudy Giuliani, the greatest mayor of New York since Abraham Lincoln, has suddenly been unveiled as a “national security” surrogate for the McCain campaign and has started holding conference calls and interviews detailing how Barack Obama is literally Hitler and bin Laden, but more killing-er. Obama is naive Mr. September 10, while Giuliani and McCain are Mr. & Mrs. TUFF $EPTEMBER 12 PAYBACK. Here is one thing that Rudy actually said in a conference call today: “It is fair to say that Osama Bin Laden would be given new rights that nobody ever had before,” because Obama would pardon him and let him sleep in his Tony Rezko Mansion’s attic, the end. [TPM Election Central]


2:08 PM on Wed June 18 2008
By Jim Newell
1396 Views

  1. Dave J. says at 2:11 pm, June 18th, 2008

    I want to hear about these new rights that nobody had before, because they sound sexy.

  2. Botswana Meat Commission FC says at 2:12 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Please, please, please name Mrs. Giuliani your running mate.

  3. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:15 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Barry’s on the defensive?? LOCK YOUR HOMES and ALWAYS REMEMBER 6/18/08.

  4. Barry’s first executive order would grant Osama bin Laden the right not to apologize for farting in a crowded elevator.

  5. ManchuCandidate says at 2:16 pm, June 18th, 2008

    9ud11 would prefer 9u11an1 Time where it takes 47 bullets to kill a man going for milk or anally raping another with a night stick.

    BTW, 9ud11. Didn’t your campaign prove that you are less knowledgeable about foreign affairs and national security than Condi Rice? Why, yes yes it did.

    Boy Walnuts, you really know how to pick a winning team. A Mormon Moran. An excorising brown guy. A bunch of lobbyists with ties to hostile governments. Now 9ud11. Why not complete your awesome loser team by bringing on Willie Randolph, who is now available?

  6. stinkhairstu says at 2:17 pm, June 18th, 2008

    God bless you, Rudy! If Winston Churchill fucked a rat (or Margaret Thatcher), the offspring would be just like you. 9/11 Forever!

  7. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 2:17 pm, June 18th, 2008

    What exactly is a national security surrogate? Is that like where McCain impregnated 9/11 with the spawn of his POW experience in order to have a gay baby? I didn’t realize they had swung by California yesterday.

  8. When’s the last time Mayor NineOneOne was in Kabul or Basrah?

  9. loudmouthredhead says at 2:18 pm, June 18th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: What? Minorities would be allowed to brandish wallets without getting shot or sodomized with broom handles!?

    *head explodes”

  10. Oh, I forgot we need to buy lots of duct tape, especially in teriary cities where the a-rabs see an easier target and a more likely to release their weapons of gaseous destruktion

  11. Vanity Smurf says at 2:20 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Dave J.: Rudy just means that Barry would let Osama get gay married.

  12. Walter Sobchak says at 2:21 pm, June 18th, 2008

    New Rights: The right to pee in the glass WALNUTS! keeps his false teeth in.

  13. capitol-hillbilly says at 2:21 pm, June 18th, 2008

    i think it’s fair to say that Mrs. Guliani needs to stick an Official McCain 08 Butt Plug in her big fat pie hole

  14. jagorev says at 2:22 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Nobody has ever had habeas corpus before, ever? What the fuck?

  15. stinkhairstu says at 2:22 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Vanity Smurf: to his camel. The end.

  16. forgot my id says at 2:22 pm, June 18th, 2008

    God damn cross dressing new york transvestite fascist nazis! Won’t they ever learn that they can’t defeat the pure goodness that OBAMA represents ???

  17. Spence says at 2:22 pm, June 18th, 2008

    The best part is that he gave this entire interview in vintage Chanel.

  18. mothermaven says at 2:22 pm, June 18th, 2008

    http://tinyurl.com/4rxeeh

    I have been having fun on an anti-Obama site and was able to catch them violating Godwins law.
    There is lots of fun to be had. Pretty incredible stuff.

    Oh pleeze! Nominate Rudy “Florida-Strategy” Guiliani. Walnuts and Judy can go on the road in drag and sing “Spring Time for Hitler” with a picture of Obama. That is basically all they have, folks.

  19. jagorev says at 2:23 pm, June 18th, 2008

    ManchuCandidate: Anal raping an innocent black man with a nightstick is only immoral if you marry him afterwards. Giuliani is an upstanding member of the moral majority, and would never participate in such faggotry.

  20. RaptorAvatar says at 2:24 pm, June 18th, 2008

    If we let Rudy personally shoot 3000 innocent arabs to make up for the 3000 innocent americans who died on 9-11 will he shut the fuck up? I don’t even know what kind of rights he’s imagining for Osama anyhow. Are they going to fucking bring back the Subway Club Card for him?

  21. Rudy Giuliani would be the first to cower under a table when the Takfiris come to their murder dance. And he’d push women and children out of his way to get under dat table ala George Costanza.

  22. Vanity Smurf says at 2:25 pm, June 18th, 2008

    stinkhairstu: Of course. I thought that went without saying.

  23. PrairiePossum says at 2:26 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Osama has done quite well under the Bush presidency. He makes videos and tapes, he is able to get them broadcast on the internet and tv stations all over the world, the Taliban is making a comeback in Afghanistan and Al Qaeda has found a welcome home in Iraq - a place they were not welcome before we invaded Iraq. The best thing you could do for Osama is to elect Walnuts so he can continue the policies which have helped Osama over the past 8 years.

  24. Vanity Smurf says at 2:27 pm, June 18th, 2008

    RaptorAvatar: I thought we already did that in Iraq.

  25. mookworthjwilson says at 2:29 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Vanity Smurf: Or have his marriage to a box turtle recognized in Texas.

  26. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:30 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Q2: Ya but the next day he’ll be a self-proclaimed hero.

  27. “…Secondly, he is not escaping us. This is a guy, who, three months ago, was in control of a county [sic]. Now he’s maybe in control of a cave. He’s on the run. Listen, a while ago I said to the American people, our objective is more than bin Laden. But one of the things for certain is we’re going to get him running and keep him running, and bring him to justice. And that’s what’s happening. He’s on the run, if he’s running at all. So we don’t know whether he’s in cave with the door shut, or a cave with the door open — we just don’t know….”
    - G.W. Bush, in remarks in a Press Availablity with the Press Travel Pool, The Prairie Chapel Ranch, Crawford TX, 12/28/01, as reported on official White House site

  28. Q2: But he didn’t say when, did he.

  29. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:32 pm, June 18th, 2008

    …once again one of the most idiotic talking points on the face of the planet. I’m pretty sure Osama Bin Laden doesn’t need Habeas Corpus to know WHY he is getting arrested. However I’m pretty sure that the poor sheep herder, who was sold out by his neighbor so that he can steal his sheep does deserve the right to know why his captors attach jumper cables to his testicles every morning!!!

  30. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:33 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jagorev: …Habeas Corpus was an idea dreamed up by those bleeding heart liberal founding fathers!!!

  31. forgot my id says at 2:33 pm, June 18th, 2008

    forgot my id: I CALL GODWINS LAW ON MYSELF

  32. Tits_LaRue says at 2:36 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Wow, someone seems to be giving McCain The. Worst. Advice. Ever.

    “Now, John, we think it might be prudent if you put the following people on your “team”: Rudy Giuliani, David Vitter, Larry Craig, Bob Allen, Mark Foley, Michael Jackson, Gary Glitter and Jeff Gannon. They’re the best we have to offer your campaign, and plus, there’s $20 in it for you.”

    It’s like they want him to lose!?!

  33. MoodProcessor says at 2:37 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Didn’t America basically wipe its ass with Giuliani at some point fairly recently?

  34. XOMuffintop says at 2:38 pm, June 18th, 2008

    I thoguht that drag queens have were more poised, fabulous and witty than this….

  35. MoodProcessor says at 2:41 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Tits_LaRue:
    It’s like a Dream Team of Hobo Celebriticians.

  36. masterdebater says at 2:43 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Two things;
    1.) McCranky is aware Rudy lost badly, isn’t he?
    2.) That’s the second ugliest drag queen I ever saw.

  37. jjgittes says at 2:44 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Huh. You’d think a former federal prosecutor would be up on which 800-year-old rights were “new” or not. Guess not.

    I second the extreme heartfelt desire for Rudy to be WALNUTS!’ running mate. The coronaries over a somewhat gay-friendly (but creepily gay-friendly), abortion-friendly fascist on the ticket…. mmmm…

  38. obfuscator says at 2:47 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Tits_LaRue:

    I’m sure Paul Reubens and character actor Jeff Jones are also available for media strategy consulting. R. Kelly could be useful in reaching out to the urban youngs.

  39. Doglessliberal says at 2:47 pm, June 18th, 2008

    given that George Will wrote a column I agreed with yesterday (choke, sob) about McCain’s regard for our “so called” rights, this is not surprising. Rudy is Mr. Beat the Crap Out of Anyone Non-Photogenic on New York Sidewalks man, so his idea of rights is pretty narrow and right up McCain’s alley. Will was dead on:
    http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/06/16/AR2008061602041.html?sub=AR

  40. edgydrifter says at 2:47 pm, June 18th, 2008

    By all means, Mayor Herovestite, keep up the 9-11 squawking. Why change what’s worked so well for you this far? I hear you practically have the nomination in the bag (Prada, natch!).

  41. Doglessliberal says at 2:52 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jjgittes: no, no, he didn’t bother with silly old rights when he was a prosecutor. They just complicated things.

  42. Tits_LaRue says at 2:55 pm, June 18th, 2008

    MoodProcessor: …it’s so hard to keep track of them all, I guess I’ll just start counting their multi-colored hobo bindles.

  43. Gormogon says at 2:56 pm, June 18th, 2008

    So, do we get a live blog of the Larry Sinclair press conference? T-4 minutes. You were supposed to get there early to get press credentials.

    http://press.org/calendar/caldbevent.cfm?eventid=15742

  44. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:58 pm, June 18th, 2008

    …generally when you send a surrogate out to attack your opponent, you want to make sure that they have less baggage than you do! This guy is hated by his own hometown, what in the fukk makes you think that America at large would listen to him. Lets list all of his short comings briefly(I know, I know Oxymoron)

    -Shitty radios for first responders
    -Cheating on his wife
    -Marrying his cousin
    -Using the police department as limo service
    -Tearing his city apart racially
    -Dumping his wife on national TV
    -Hiring Bernie Kerik
    -Attempting to get Bernie Kerik appointed head of Home Land Security
    -Taking money from Saudis with ties to Terrorism

    Please feel free to to add anything I left out!

  45. jjgittes says at 2:58 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Tits_LaRue:

    It really is a mutiny of preverts.

  46. Tits_LaRue says at 3:02 pm, June 18th, 2008

    obfuscator: See, the Republicans will do the deeds, but they will only meet us half-way, it’s up to the rest of us to actually make the “Party Of Racists, Self-Loathing Gays and Dirty Pedophiles” meme stick.

  47. Doglessliberal says at 3:05 pm, June 18th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: corrupt, ethically-challenged tenure as Prosecutor and ties with Ray Cohn.

    But your comment presumes that McCain has a clue what people outside his small coterie of rich colleagues think about anything. Angry McAneurysm is completely out of touch with reality, so he might well think Rudy is a hero and only lost in the primaries because he (McAneurysm) was destined for the Presidency, so all others had to fall before him.

  48. Doglessliberal says at 3:07 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jjgittes: totally off topic, but I heard a story about gay marriages in SF last night on NPR and they mentioned the lone guy in the red devil suit with a sign that blared “Pervert marriages here” or something like that. He was not being ironic or joking. I thought it would have been fabulous for a married gay couple to go up to him and ask if they could have their pic taken with him, because, really, how great would that wedding photo be?

  49. Tits_LaRue says at 3:17 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jjgittes: …and they should all be hung around McCAin’s neck like a bunch of hobo albatrosses.
    Doglessliberal: Those are the Fred Phelps zombies, yeah? They’re the only ones out there screaming about assfucking as the rest of the country is saying “…hmmm, $5 a gallon, you say? And I should give a flying fuck who wants to be married? I think not.”

  50. Doglessliberal says at 3:23 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Tits_LaRue: which is why I am thinking (hoping) the referendum will fail this fall. We lost in VA and now our Constitution basically prevents anyone from even thinking about forming a partnership with a same sex person not a relative, but CA is a lot more live and let live. I hope.

    And I found the image!

    http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/81494757.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1934B869679A269F9CC93C1ADF6AD71059B5A5397277B4DC33E

    and

    http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/81495337.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1934B869679A269F9CC8FBBC175B1766D445A5397277B4DC33E

  51. choom gangster says at 3:32 pm, June 18th, 2008

    I have a new tinfoil hat theory. McCain is actually a renegade outsider and what he’s doing by assembling what appears to be the worst campaign staff in modern history and running a totally incompetent campaign is exposing our broken process. When he wins nobody will be able to explain why and it will become patently obvious that it’s all been rigged from the beginning and all Americans will team up to free ourselves from tyranny and WALNUTS will be our glorious liberator.

  52. jjgittes says at 3:33 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Doglessliberal:

    Also totally off-topic to your off-topicness (now with MORE offtopic fun!) –

    Goddamn, I miss SF sometimes.

    Pre-children, my wife and I ran Bay to Breakers (if you’re not from SF, seriously, look it up… best excuse for a 10K/city goes nuts/citywide block party/pub crawl/gays and straights scaring the horses) one year, where on the race route we saw:

    1) Man in one of the bird masks from Eyes Wide Shut and nothing else, shaking his (admittedly well-endowed) wang in front of every single racer running by.
    2) Older gay couple waving at everyone, and holding up their little dog.
    3) Frat house offering everybody free beer instead of water.
    4) Among other people in costumes, a group of several racers dressed up as Catholic priests chasing another racer dressed as an altar boy.
    5) Isolated group of about 3 Christian zealots with a bit of police protection.

    Living in Sodom definitely had its upsides. For the record, we went as Mexican wrestlers.

    Yeah, it’d be a great picture (and Dogs bless Gavin Newsom). However, I’m mindful of this recent (and Wonkette-supplied!) article in the LAT: that with a bigoted ballot initiative hastily going up before the voters in 5 months, nobody wants to give the troglodytes any ammunition. I can understand that a bit, as you want general (and accurate portrayals) of happy gay couples in love and the sky NOT FALLING.

    But the Republican-affiliated orgs are going to run footage of the Folsom Street Fair regardless, right?

  53. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 3:36 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Hey Rudy: no one cared about the crap dripping out of your mouth when you were a candidate. Why do you think anything’s changed?

  54. Baconcat says at 3:45 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Guiliani is truly America’s answer to Madonna.

  55. Well, that settles that, then. If Giuliani says it, it must be true.

  56. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:00 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jjgittes: Awesome. I stumbled through it.

  57. I miss Rudy’s run simply for the unbridled rage he would instill in truthers/Paultards and how they fixated on his crossdressing.

  58. Doglessliberal says at 4:23 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jjgittes: it is my ambition to one day run the Bay to Breakers. The Army Ten Miler is nice, and it gives you a good feeling inside when you see the disabled veterans whupping your butt time-wise, but we don’t have enough costumes. There was a banana and a box of Wheaties this past October who ran the whole thing in costume in 90 degree heat, however, but no priests.

  59. Tits_LaRue says at 4:32 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Doglessliberal: Anyone in Cali who votes against gay marriage should be given a free one-way ticket to West Virginia: Problem Solved! I think once people teetering on the edge of total acceptance realize that the Gay Marriage Thing™ has become a huge boom to the local economy, they will STFU… There is an inexplicable Republican stronghold in California, mainly in Orange County, I think, that needs to get over themselves, pronto.

  60. Naked Bunny with a Whip says at 4:32 pm, June 18th, 2008

    I’m still trying to figure out how the people who actually allowed and then utterly botched the response to 9/11 are somehow heroes who know how to best handle these things. Evidence seems to be that they are the worst people to go to.

  61. jjgittes says at 4:37 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Doglessliberal:

    As long as you remember that the point of Bay to Breakers is definitely NOT running the damn race.

    1) Finding the craziest costume idea possible so you’ll make the local news broadcasts, preferably in a group or a float (think a whole Klingon Bird of Prey or maybe the SF skyline, and yes, these happened — costumed salmon running the race route in reverse are also regulars)
    2) Finding the craziest thing to do in the race and still not be arrested for it (the cops are there to protect the zealots, and not arrest you — hence, Eyes Wide Wang Man)
    3) Throwing tortillas for no reason
    4) Getting piss-drunk midway through the race and simply finding a killer Vietnamese place to have pho and wait it out

    Enough off-topic behavior before I get banned…

  62. Doglessliberal says at 4:44 pm, June 18th, 2008

    Naked Bunny with a Whip: Tsk, tsk, again with the logic and rational thought.

  63. bitchincamaro says at 4:44 pm, June 18th, 2008

    This is excellent news. Rudy will be a buck-toothed albatross
    around McNasty’s neck. National security surrogate my rosy red
    ass!

  64. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:53 pm, June 18th, 2008

    jjgittes: You forgot throwing up before making out with random strangers. Good times.

  65. bitchincamaro says at 5:06 pm, June 18th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy:

    Completely ignoring the threat made by the original WTC bombers
    to come back and do it right the second time

    Installing a 60 million dollar “command center” in the very building
    next to the twin targets against the advice of his own people and
    all common sense

    Agreeing to shill for Repubs on campaign trail if he can take a
    cut of the take at the door

    having a forehead like a Volkswagen

  66. DangerousLiberal says at 8:17 pm, June 18th, 2008

    The 9/12ers are why cities in Wyoming think they’re high-grade terrorist targets, and why En Why Cee and the state that took its name gets a lot less per capita homeland security money than a state full of sheep. All that despite 9ud11 being the President of 9/11–you know, the same assklown who put the emergency operations center IN the WTC.

    Hey, Amerika? Feel safer now?

  67. BeachLover420 says at 12:01 am, June 19th, 2008

    AngryBlakGuy: bitchincamaro: And soon to be the next Republican candidate for Governor of the State of New York!!!! When will the nightmare of Mrs. 9/11 be over?

  68. Paulitics says at 2:53 pm, June 19th, 2008

    Can anyone tell me how Rudy’s comment, which is a direct reference to the abysmal High Court decision granting TERRORISTS civilian rights, is wrong? Hussein Obama agrees with the ruling, and he also agreed when the California supreme court recently OVERTURNED the WILL of the VOTERS regarding homosexual marriage. Based on this pattern alone, we can expect an Obama administration, a Democratic controlled legislature, and an activist judiciary to force their will upon the people, regardless of of how the people vote. Pure FACISM!
    It’s frightening and saddening to think that Obama, the media darling, will overlook the threat of radical Islam in favor of forcing gay marriage down our throats.

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