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'Just call me handsome.'John McCain would very much appreciate it if Democrats quit calling him “confused” and saying he has “lost his bearings.” These are despicable code words used by silver-tongued political operatives who want to make UNFAIR IMPLICATIONS about John McCain. But what are they trying to imply, exactly?

When John Kerry called John McCain “unbelievably out of touch” regarding Iraq and Obama adviser Susan Rice cited “a pattern of confusing the basic facts and reality that pertain to Iraq,” what did they really mean? They probably meant he was intentionally obfuscating, or in plain English, lying.

Or when Obama said McCain had “lost his bearings” when he talked about how much Hamas loves Obama and wants to have his babies, the Illinois senator should have just said, “McCain used to say things that were somewhat truthful, and now he does not.”

McCain’s tetchiness about his age misses the point. Americans have a proud history of electing the elderly to the nation’s highest office, and sticking with those presidents even after they begin their decline into senility while still in the White House. The problem with John McCain isn’t that he’s old, it’s that he’s a nasty shite-talking fraud.

Are Dems talking about McCain’s age in ‘code’? [Politico]

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73 COMMENTS

  1. Look, the guy is incompetent. I don’t know if it’s because of his age or just because he is stupid. But it doesn’t really matter. Calling him old is the best he can hope for, because then he can at least blame his incompetence on the inevitable march of time.

  2. …maybe they should use phrases like:

    -Age impaired
    -Petrified
    -Decrepit
    -Mummified
    -Jurassic
    -Pre-Biblical
    -Overly mature

    etc, etc, etc!

  3. Well when you confuse the important details of the war you want to keep fighting, you’re either “confused” or a complete fucking moron. Your choice, Senator.

  4. It would be different is WALNUTS! was a happy, bow-tie wearing, balloon animal making old man. He’s more of a grumpy old man that tells the kids to keep off the grass and calls his wife the C-word.

  5. I live in Florida, and there’s gobs of ancient cottontops here, and they always walk around farting in the grocery store…WALNUTS! is so old, his SON probably does that…

  6. This wouldn’t really matter if Walnuts remembered shit and made sense once in a while instead going all Abe Simpson at press conferences.

  7. i used to love it when slick snake tongued devil obama would introduce the section of his speeches about mccain with a reference to his admirable “half a century” of public service.

  8. [re=17594]ManchuCandidate[/re]: (1) “That’s only nothing. Dogs wag their tails for hours after they die. I’m tired of this conversation. Let’s talk about something else. I’m going home.” (2) “Eh, you never know what you’re capable of. I never thought I could shoot down a German plane, but last year I proved myself wrong.”

  9. There are better things to attack McCain for than being old, but it’s funny that Hillary and McCain were all up in arms over the media’s prejudices, while the uppity black Muslim elitist race-baiting whitey-killing madrassa-attending terrorist-fist-jabbing candidate refrains from whining about that kind of portrayal.

  10. I think they should stop talking in ‘code’ and just say things like “HEY WALNUTS! YOU’RE OLD AS FUCK!” Maybe then we could move past ‘untruthful implications’ and no one would have to be upset.

  11. [re=17598]metropolitan[/re]: …yeah that was so deliciously EVIL!

    [re=17594]ManchuCandidate[/re]: …personally I think it would still matter if he was semi-coherent for a number of reasons such as stress. Also you have to remember that Americans like for their president to look young and sexy in comparison to all other world leaders. And John McCain with his urine stained dentures is NEITHER “my friends”!

  12. Other clever quips and backhanded compliments you could say about McCain:

    “I think he confused the brake and gas pedal on that one.”

    “His 50 years experience in the Senate is a fitting capstone to the 50 years that preceded them.”

    “We are infinitely grateful to John McCain for his military service. If his generation had not taken arms when they did, we might all be speaking English in this country.”

    “Lay off the Geritol, pops… heh… just kidding. Drink as much as you want.”

    “The man could make a bib look fashionable (and sometimes does).”

    “It’s 4:00 on Saturday afternoon and your alarm goes off. Time to pick up the kids at the mall movie theater. Who would you rather hand the keys to?”

  13. Potential NYT aging-tolerant lede on the story of McCain’s inauguration:
    “His wizened countenance gazed indistinctly out upon the gathered masses as he ascended to the throne of America and shat upon it. Without realizing it.”

  14. [re=17617]ronaldpagan[/re]: I can’t wait until WALNUTS! starts talking about wearing on onion on his belt, because that was the style at the time.

  15. [re=17606]ronaldpagan[/re]:

    -Walking Dead
    -Crypt Keeper-esque
    -Well aged

    …or they should simply disguise their attacks as compliments:

    -John McCain looks great for a 92 year old!

    -John McCain served his country bravely during World War I!

    -It is wonderful that Hollywood has made a movie about brave soldiers like John McCain. I cant wait for the sequel to 300!

  16. Now let’s show the man some respect for his service. He is a national treasure, an antique, an heirloom from a neglected corner in the the dusty cobwebbed basement of our heritage. Like the melted-down gold from spoils of wars lost and won, or the galliant whips and chains of those who braved the jungles of the Ivory Coast and Niger to build our nation’s economy, he stands as a stark reminder of what this nation once was and what it could be again.

  17. It would help if McCain would stop making references to things like the Carter Presidency as if they were yesterday.

    How stupid is he that he doesn’t realize that millions of voters have no memory of the Carter Presidency?

  18. [re=17587]AngryBlakGuy[/re]:

    Top Ten adjectives John McCain can’t’ stand:

    or:
    10. Vintage
    9 Antiquated
    8. Rickety
    7. Doddering
    6. Hoary
    5. Foggy
    4. Feeble
    3. Prehistoric
    2. Methusalistic
    1. Undead

  19. [re=17638]AxmxZ[/re]: Gore Vidal for president!

    [re=17629]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: [re=17639]travellabyrinth[/re]: I love you both. I think it would be awesome if reporters talked down to McCain the way one does to people in old age homes. When McCain is foaming at the mouth going, “That’s not change we can believe in!” the interviewer should be like, “Looks like somebody needs a nap!”

  20. [re=17606]ronaldpagan[/re]:

    Barry:

    “Just the opposite, actually. I have great admiration for Senator McCain’s work ethic and drive. He’s really very… spry. I hope I’m as spry as he is when I’m his age… in 2033.”

  21. [re=17650]ronaldpagan[/re]: I don’t care how vociferously Vidal insists that he and his boyfriend were just pals – Hopey’s ass isn’t safe around him.

  22. [re=17646]Quacker[/re]: [re=17615]AxmxZ[/re]: [re=17606]ronaldpagan[/re]: …and if they really want to be diabolical they should start using word/terms like the following when they are referring to his campaign:

    -Terminal
    -Needs to be revived
    -on life support
    -on borrowed time
    -last breath
    -one foot in the grave
    -running on fumes

    …and once again my personal favorite!
    -fallen and cant get up!

  23. Around here mentioning age is just too obvious. We call Mccain “Manchurian Candidate” or John “Keating 5” Mccain. Take away his age and there are plenty things that disqualify him as presidential material. When these things come out he may snap and beg to be seen as an old man. “Why would you pick on an old man like myself, shame whipper-snapper!”

  24. [re=17646]Quacker[/re]: Top Ten adjectives John McCain can’t’ stand:

    Can not be considered definitive without at least one of the “antes”

    -antebellum
    -antediluvian

  25. McCain is past his “shelf-life” or “Use by” date.
    I hope he has enough preservatives in him to keep from going rancid.
    Oops. Too late.

  26. the coded “old” comments are payback for mccain calling obama a “dazzling urbanite.” (props to those old enough to get the reference.)

  27. You know what the next step after OLD is, old man?
    It is DEAD. Wait, the constitution doesn’t specifically say the president need be ‘alive’ does it. How about this, we let them elect undead John McCain’t and they let me marry my boyfriend, the box turtle.

  28. [re=17632]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Srsly. Nothing makes you seem truly old as being as old as he is – so old! – and then living in disagreeable self-denial about it. Bob Dole at least dyed his hair, whitened his teeth and tried to keep the crotchiness to a minumun, when not acting outright grandfatherly.

    McCain acts like he believes – and we should too – that he looks like a man who could still punk bin Laden, instead of just some dude who looks like he looses his dentures and shouldn’t be driving.

  29. [re=17739]ronaldpagan[/re]:

    Ewwww…

    “Friends… welcome to my home. The fondue’s almost ready… don’t forget to drop your car keys in the bowl on the coffee table.”

  30. when mccain stops referencing “drug dealers from the south side of chicago” as code for barry’s scary black friends when talking about barry’s apparent inability to understand the true dangers posed by terrorists who’ve been made aware of what they’re charged with, then i’ll stop pointing out how walnuts is a half-dead, senile old bastard with a drugged up 2 diamond whore as his pretend wife.

  31. [re=17734]AxmxZ[/re]: i thought he played gabby johnson in blazing saddles. “not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expresses a courage little seen in this day and age …”

    “REVRRUMMM!!!”

  32. speaking of which
    McCain’s former wife wrote this poem:

    that John used to make me real bruisy
    but he left for some knife-wielding floozy,
    a tobacco man’s daughter,
    and after he caught her
    a beer heiress blonde I call “boozy”

  33. Note to McCain campaign staff
    The stages of human decomposition are:
    Fresh
    Putrefaction
    Black Putrefaction
    Butyric Fermentation
    Dry Decay

  34. [re=17737]Carrie_Okie[/re]: “‘E’s passed on! This presidential candidate is no more! He has ceased to be! ‘E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker!

    ‘E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t nailed ‘im to the seat of the Straight Talk Express ‘e’d be pushing up the daisies!

    ‘Is metabolic processes are now ‘istory! ‘E’s off the twig!

    ‘E’s kicked the bucket, ‘e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!!”

  35. [re=18059]Big Al1317[/re]: I LOVE that photo! Looks like McMaverick’s Metamucil finally kicked in & he finally managed to pinch one off (but with much pushing, huffing, puffing & grunting). And if his sphincter didn’t come through, he was going to whip it’s ass!

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