A few months ago, John McCain’s second and current wife, “Trollop” Cindy, was caught stealing recipes from the Food Network and publishing them as her own material, a simple lapse of ethics that you’re supposed to learn, and master, at age four. To atone for this, Cindy fired a hapless intern. But the problem was systemic! Cindy has contributed another recipe, to Parents magazine. This recipe for Oatmeal Butterscotch Cookies was, of course, directly cribbed from Hershey’s website. Th-that’s not ch-change we-ee can b-believe in. In fact, it’s copyright infringement! Anyway, this Parents magazine article has a comments section, so let’s check it out.

  • “As far as Cindy getting a recipe from some other sources, lets get real people – there is not a working mom in America who doesn’t get her recipes from other sources. No working mom I know has the time to play Suzie Homemaker and spend all their time in the kitchen ‘creating’ new recipes. I doubt very seriously that Michelle created her recipe either.
  • “It is plagerizm if Cindy McCain does not give Hershey credit — and she did not. Instead Cindy LIED and said she got the recipe from a ‘friend.’

    Michelle Obama followed the rules and submitted her own family recipe.

    First Cindy McCain stole drugs from the charity she founded for personal use. NOW she plagerizes in a Bake-Off CONTEST to win.

    Like I said, these cookies better taste good & if they do not contact HERSHEY.”

  • “I was attracted to the oatmeal, but overall this recipe is not one I will make for my family again, nor would I recommend it to others.”
  • “It is just cookies. You all should be worried about whether or not the cookie is good… that is all. WHy so worried about laws ans such. If they were making marshmellow treats and had added things would you be rworried about Snap, Crackle and Pop too?? We are not supposed to be looking for something original anyway… remember these are politicians we are dealing with… they are all the same! They use the same lines in all the elections, so why not cookie recipes too.”
  • “Cindy’s same old copy/paste. Just like her husband’s presidency will be. Copy Bush/paste McCain. Are we tired of this yet?”
  • “still loving my cookies mccain”

Cindy McCain’s Oatmeal-Butterscotch Cookies [Parents]
Cindy McCain Stole Her Cookie Recipe Straight from the Hershey’s Website! [DU]

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  1. Ingredients:
    1 cup oatmeal
    1/2 cup butterscotch cookies
    1 bottle of Southern Comfort
    3 grams of blow
    2 Vicodin tablets
    1 bag of TruckNutz (TM)

  2. It’s hysterical that Cindy’s recipe is for oatmeal-butterscotch cookies. That is so “Mrs. Whitey McWhiterson.” There’s not a brown fleck in the whole mixing bowl. Lemme guess, Michelle submitted a recipe for double-chocolate fudge bars with an extra scoop of scary chocolate fudge chips.

  3. Will you give poor Cindy a break already? At least she fuckin’ bakes cookies, unlike a certain former First Lay-dy who said: “I’m not like Tammy Wynette, baking cookies and standing by her man.”

    Besides, I’ve checked and the Hershey’s recipe doesn’t call for oxycontin, dilaudid, or liquid methadone. So give our Cin’ some props for originality with her recipe, wouldja?

    And let’s face facts, home-baked cookies can save a troubled marriage. Recently, WALNUTS! was asked why, if Cindy is such a cuntrollop who has nothing going for her but a galaxy-sized purse, he chose to stay with her, he replied: “Have you tasted her cookies? They’re way better than the brownies my gimpy, dumpy first wife used to foist on me.”

    Cindy is one smart cookie. And Cin’, if you’re reading this, **call me.** I want a taste of your… um…. eclair.

  4. uhm, i don’t get it. my mom uses recipes from corny corporate websites too and calls them her own and we constantly bust her and no interns get fired. but then again my mom doesn’t have history of stealing drugs from charities, so i guess there’s no pattern here.

  5. Can we please start calling her “Cookies” McCain?

    And really, did anyone expect a different recipe? How else is she going to get Johnny’s 70+ year old colon moving without about 20 or so oatmeal /metamucil cookies a day?

  6. [re=17198]Paultardville[/re]:THESE ARE GREAT!!!! Family begging me to bake more!!
    Nothing synthetic to this recipe, they are has down to earth as Cindy. Give it a big thumbs up!!!

    I think this comment from the Parents’ site lends credence to your version of the recipe. she should start calling them
    Cindy McCain’s Betty Ford Cookies

  7. [re=17190]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: There actually was a meth + cinnamon recipe up but was taken down, after it was discovered that it too was plagarized from

  8. I do not know what all the fuss is about. I made Cindy’s cookies and they were GREAT! They were so good, I had to have another batch right away! Pretty soon they were all I could think about… I stopped going to work…. I stopped bathing and my teeth went rotten… I started blowing truckers for $15 so I could afford more and more delicious cookies…

    And then the spiders started crawling under my skin…

  9. “Cookie-gate”? There must be some real dirt out there on Cindy if this is the best scandal with which to distract us.

    Does someone have a video of Cindy speaking of “Darkies” at a church bake sale (which we will later find out is a reference to chocolate chip cookies?

  10. “WHy so worried about laws ans such.”

    What the hell is the President of the United States doing on a message board for cookie recipies?

  11. Upon closer inspection even the recipes are sending political messages. Cindy’s is a standard, everyman recipe that is safe (even a little boring) because it uses common, cheap ingredients. She says you can use margarine. (Margarine! No true baker uses margarine!) Meanwhile, Michelle’s recipe is unique and a little challenging, but looks awesome (i.e. elitist). She calls for unsalted butter, Amaretto, orange AND lemon zest, and cake flour, plus you have to separate the eggs. That’s baking you can believe in.

  12. Over the weekend, I saw some footage of Cindy bagging on Michelle Obama. It was at some McCain event. She was yelling about how she’s always been proud of America, blah blah blah. She seems to have a bit of a speech impediment. I wonder if it’s the result of her Coke Stroke.

  13. Posted:

    I force-fed these to my enemy combatant prisoners after water-boarding them. they were a big hit, thanks Cindy!

  14. i call bullshit on this whole contest, there’s no way michelle bakes cookies. although the fact that her recipe called for a drop of booze almost made me believe it, michelle’s cool like that and their kids do always seem pretty happy.

  15. im amazed…it takes enormous political skill to get the readers of Parents magazine riled up…cindy shows her perfect instinctual grasp of the situation by going straight for the sanctity of family cookie recipes…

    shed make a great VP choice…

    McCain/McCain 2008!!!

  16. Recipe for Cindy McCain’s Down Home Middle Class American Angel Food Cake:

    1) Inherit a Billion Fucking Dollars from the Anheuser Busch fortune.

    2) Pay a personal chef to force Illegal Mexicans to make you Angel Food Cake, in a kitchen that costs you $3 million to decorate, but that you’ve never stepped foot in, in your entire fucking life.

    3) To escape the physical and emotional pain of weekly beatings at the hands of your husband, medicate yourself with Angel Food Cake.

  17. Now, everybody knows that recipes are not copyright-protected. And “Cindy” (meaning some hapless campaign staffer) changed enough of the words in the exact rip-off of Hershey’s recipe to probably be sue-proof. But, Jesus Christ, what a lazy cuntrollop.

  18. @GlennBecksTaint: uh she signed up for that shit all by herself, though i’m pretty sure she started outsourcing that job ages ago (she might have been dumb enough to do it at first, but even she can’t be dumb enough to have kept at it).

  19. Why are these motherfuckers motherfucking with cookies? This is the list of appropriate cookies:

    1. Chocolate chip

    What is this oatmeal shit? And what the fuck is Butterscotch anyway? Take that back to Whole Foods you fucking hippie.

  20. [re=17209]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I prefer “Cookiepuss” myself.
    For those of you having grown up on the East Coast who are of a certain age, that would make Michelle um, Fudgie the Whale?

    Never mind.

  21. [re=17219]GlennBecksTaint[/re]: Oh please, for that kind of money, he’ll suck his own cock. I’m sure he learned how living in that box in Hanoi.

  22. [re=17242]Rodney Badger[/re]: Haven’t you heard of “Oatmeal Scotchies”? At least she wasn’t stupid enough to piss off the entire Scottish-American population by calling them that.

  23. “Cindy McCain” claims that her recipe makes 18 more cookies than the Hershey recipe from the same amount of ingredients. Clearly political aides can’t help but fudge numbers, no matter what the context.

  24. “These cookies are so great they almost make up for that harlot stealing my husband after my dehabilitating accident. I understand thoug, I no longer looked like a bikini model and she was tall, rich and blonde. Now I eat her cookies. So what if she took them from Hershey’s, they take the pain away.”

  25. First off, this is priceless: “Like I said, these cookies better taste good & if they do not contact HERSHEY.”

    And then Hershey will take out a hit on Cougar McCain?

    Second, I hate to point out the obvious here but the fact is that most cookie recipes are EXACTLY THE SAME and therefore plagarized from whatever Platonic cookie baker it was that first creamed butter and sugar, added eggs and flavoring, then folded in flour and whatever random sweets and nuts they had lying around and then baked that mess. Show me a completely original cookie recipe, and I’ll show you something no self respecting kindergarden denzien would touch.

    But that said, Cindy needs to stop pretending she cooks. And magazines need to start coming up with better questions for future first ladies than “what’s your favorite recipe”?

  26. [re=17292]populucious[/re]: I really really want magazines start asking first ladies for their favorite cocktail recipes. I bet Cindy’s a jaegershot girl.

  27. [re=17292]populucious[/re]: Like “Who’s your favorite character on Desperate Housewives?”Because,as the bitters taught us all,the media is nothing but a bunch of women hating monkeymen who make Ann Curry ask inane bullshit every single minute of every single day.

  28. This is just so typical of the misogyny that runs rampant on this site. Did anyone stop to think that maybe HERSHEY stole the recipe from CINDYNUTS?

  29. Perhaps, before Cindy McCain’s mother committed suicide, she used to make her cookies that she told Cindy were the recipe of Cindy’s french grandmother, Hershey Chocolat. So all you Monica’s stop complaining!

  30. [re=17329]Magsbe[/re]: If that was the case, why isn’t here a black Iron Chef? They gave one the chance in the next iron chef, but he lost to 6 white people and a hispanic guy. Plus, the one or two black contestants on Top Chef never win. So clearly, they just can’t cook.

  31. The first commenter above has a point. Working moms are about the worst copyright pirates around, and, now that Mother’s Day is over, it’s about time we realized it. RIAA, forget those college students, Suzie Homemaker is your real target!

  32. [re=17222]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: That is not a Finnish recipe. It called to be washed down with vodka, when everyone knows it should have been Kossu.

  33. [re=17434]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Ha, that should be a new Girl Scout Cookie.

    Why doesn’t she just try her hand at making ‘Yeastie Royalties’ or ‘Useless Trophy Cremes’?
    I hear those recipes are pretty easy and they come together in a snap..

  34. [re=17298]jagorev[/re]: Yes, this is exactly what I mean. Enough with these asinine “what’s your favorite recipe” questions.

    Questions the magazines OUGHT to be asking:

    1) What’s you’re favorite cocktail?
    2) Can you name all of your children? (Cindy, this one’s for you!)
    3) If you were a tree, what tree would you be?
    4) Who’s your favorite Beatle? (Michelle, you don’t have to answer this one. Just make that awesome WTF face of yours and say something like “the junebug?”)

  35. That Parents website is a perpetual commercial – that’s good values for our young’ins.

    Anyway, first, everyone knows that Granma’s recipies include product placements like:
    1 1/3 Cups Original Hershey’s(tm) Butterscotch Chips® (click here for instant coupon!)
    3 Cups Quaker Oats(tm) Rolled Oats® Oatmeal© for real whole grain goodness
    3/4 Cups Safeway Select(tm) BROWN Sugar….

    WHAT Cindy likes BROWN Sugar? I expected Mehgan to go for the BROWN sugar, with her unemployed and going to school at metrosexual Columbia and all, but Cindy. Maybe she’s likes bros after all…

  36. [re=17485]Borat[/re]: It looks like Hillary also sent in Bill’s favorite cookie recipie (and he isn’t afraid to say his personal cook made it) but it also calls for BROWN SUGAR. What are these whities becoming??

  37. She fixed it for him, out of love! The original McCain recipe was: 2 cups millipedes, 11 cock roaches, 1/2 cup dirt, 1 cup human urine. Mix together in your shoe, stirring with cleanest finger. Dry in the sun, if any. (Don’t tell cell-mate!)

  38. [re=17403]buttfinger[/re]: 2 cups of WALNUTS! should be the first ingredient? Is that 2 cups of whole or chopped WALNUTS!? I’m thinkin CinMac is an expert at the latter…

  39. [re=17298]jagorev[/re]: [re=17311]Dr. Spaceman[/re]:
    She’s the Mezcal type. Shotglasses have a short lifespan in the WALNUTS! house because of her Ta-kill-ya rages.

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