REVOLVING DOOR POLITICS  3:41 pm June 16, 2008

Patti Solis Doyle Will Now Bankrupt Obama Campaign

by Sara K. Smith

Oh Patti.Barack Obama’s presidential campaign is hiring like CRAYZEE these days, and one of the people they just brought on board is a gal by the name of “Patti Solis Doyle.” You might remember her for driving the Clinton campaign into a ditch with her bazillion-dollar donut budget, megawatt smile, and general air of failure. Now she’ll bring that same magic to Generation Obama as the chief of staff to the yet-to-be-named VP candidate: a person whose name is almost certain not to rhyme with “Zillary Blinton.”

With Solis Doyle running the VP team, there’s pretty much no way her ex-friend Hillary will join Obama’s ticket, even if asked, which she won’t be.

Our girl Patti probably got the job because she is old pals with David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel and every other Democratic politician from Chicago. Plus there are only so many competent people you can have on a team, and Obama’s was pretty much full up.

Former Clinton Campaign Manager Joins Obama Team [The Caucus]

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ForeignSickSpecialist June 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm

That was her plan the whole time! mwaHAHAHAHahaha

AxmxZ June 16, 2008 at 3:45 pm

In this campaign, she’ll be fetching arugula salads and organic tea.

Happy Fun Ball June 16, 2008 at 3:46 pm

Hmmmm . . . yep, I’d hit it.

Truculent June 16, 2008 at 3:47 pm

Patty’s back? Caviar and Champagne for everyone! On the campaign, of course.

Serolf Divad June 16, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Crap, and I was so looking forward to Vice President Gillary Plinton!

Uncle Al June 16, 2008 at 3:48 pm

Now the bitterz will like Obama for sure.

stankfest June 16, 2008 at 3:49 pm

She’s humming, ” I like to bee in Amereeeca”.

shortsshortsshorts June 16, 2008 at 3:49 pm

Will she now be on Bill’s list of people to kill?

Q2 June 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm

Bad choice: she has a square face. People with square faces are unimaginative…lazy…and rely too much on donuts doing the heavy lifting. We have a crisis! Have a donut. There are issues in fund raising! Have a donut. MacAttack! Donut. FOR GOD SAKES PEOPLE WHY DO YOU THINK HILZ TURNED INTO A GIGANTISAURAS THE LAST FEW MONTHS? Dat’s right: donuts. Big mistake and Barry’s gonna expand as a result.

freakishlystrong June 16, 2008 at 3:50 pm

[re=17013]AxmxZ[/re]: And gettin’ drunk wit Obama, swillin’ Chablis…

ManchuCandidate June 16, 2008 at 3:52 pm

As long as they hide the checkbook from Patti and keep the TV on her favorite shows, they should be okay. Oh wow. I just turned my fucking comment into a 50s era joke on women. Is she a bad driver, too?

jimh June 16, 2008 at 3:52 pm

Only the finest imported designer Belgian waffles will do!

nhunter June 16, 2008 at 3:53 pm

At least she seems to have adopted a less high maintenance hair style recently. That should save some time in the mornings.

Iggy Plop June 16, 2008 at 3:56 pm

Yum. Sexy time. And now that the monster has been defeated, can Samantha Power come back? Cuz that would make the sexiest campaign staff in the history of those things. But Patti and Samantha have already joined forces with Michelle in my own richly detailed fantasies.

Walter Sobchak June 16, 2008 at 4:00 pm

[re=17023]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:If by “kill,” you mean “surreptitiously hump in a broom closet.”

WadISay June 16, 2008 at 4:00 pm

Hopey is also negotiating with Mark Penn, but the discussions are hung up on the “Bacon double cheeseburger of his sole choosing” clause Penn insists on in all his deals.

graceless June 16, 2008 at 4:01 pm

Do you think they’ll hire Mark Penn next?

shortsshortsshorts June 16, 2008 at 4:02 pm

[re=17043]Walter Sobchak[/re]: I stand corrected. For sure.

Botswana Meat Commission FC June 16, 2008 at 4:07 pm

Kind of a grown-up-Winnie Cooper thing goin’ on there. Alrighty.

TGY June 16, 2008 at 4:13 pm

This will seriously cut into Barry’s budget for blow.

RuperttheBear June 16, 2008 at 4:15 pm

Wikipedia says she came up with “Hillaryland.” Yay! I’m glad she’s on BHO’s campaign, because “Hillarylan” isn’t retarted at all.

superfecta June 16, 2008 at 4:22 pm

She certainly looks much happier now. A change is as good as a rest, right?

RaptorAvatar June 16, 2008 at 4:26 pm

[re=17024]Q2[/re]: She was jinxed because of Rachel Ray’s terrorist scarf.

JSDC007 June 16, 2008 at 4:30 pm

Who knew that Patti Sollis Doyle was also Phoebe Cates, foxy 1980s minx of such classics as “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Gremlins 2: The New Batch.”

metropolitan June 16, 2008 at 4:32 pm

patty joins the obama campaign! woo-hoo, i can again have sexual fantasies about her! (though i’ll still keep the part about keeping one eye on my wallet while we’re doing it.

metropolitan June 16, 2008 at 4:35 pm

obamaland is going to be so much fun!
get in on the freebie snow shovels before they all go broke.

Iggy Plop June 16, 2008 at 4:41 pm

[re=17112]JSDC007[/re]: Great. Now the riff from that Cars’ song is playing over and over again in my head.

Mo MoDo June 16, 2008 at 4:53 pm

A deserved reward for a job well-done. Hilltard conspiracy theorists can begin bitter blogging…now.

problemwithcaring June 16, 2008 at 5:24 pm

I can contain my bitterness about this if and only if it means jobs for Howard Wolfson as White House Independent Counsel, Mark Penn as White House Political Consultant and Maggie Williams as White House photographer…

& of course, Chels, Sasha and Malia were promised a family dog…

Rodney Badger June 16, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Is the Obama campaign using the same photographer that took my grade school class picture to take staff headshots?

Some advice: Next time, go with the Pastoral Field backdrop. Also, don’t use the comb. The campaign cannot survive an outbreak of head lice.

RushLickBall June 16, 2008 at 6:35 pm

[re=17043]Walter Sobchak[/re]: No, “kill” is correct. He already wore her out in the broom closet, giving her “personal reasons” for leaving the Hillary Titanic.

bitchincamaro June 16, 2008 at 6:49 pm

The article goes on to state that BHO has hired Stephanie Cutter to
spruce up “Mrs. Obama’s” image. Cutter was John Kerry’s communications
director. Word of advice to Michelle: Run. Do not walk. Run the fuck away
in case Cutter had anything at all to do with Kerry’s pathetic lack of
effective communications not too long ago.

DangerousLiberal June 16, 2008 at 8:41 pm

What, Susan Ostrich wasn’t available? “Er, Senator, I’d get out of that tank if I were you.”

The WaPo sez that teh Hillz gang is in a twist over this. Waaah. The bitters all come on the “comments site” (once they learned of these newfangled intertubes” and started saying that they will now vote for McCain and shit. I don’t mind if they assfuck themselves, but could the just leave the rest of us out of it?

WonkaBee June 16, 2008 at 9:43 pm

[re=17192]problemwithcaring[/re]: Oh, please. I don’t EVER want to see or hear Wolfson again. He was to barf.

I think that picture of Patti is a stock one that’s been around for a while, btw. Now as I remember, her lame ecuse when she resigned was that her kid didn’t want to see her anymore or something?

Mr Blifil June 16, 2008 at 9:52 pm

Yeah but what about the ho who called Hillary a “monster?” When’s she coming back into the fold? Cause she was fine, for an Ivy Leaguer.

Mr Blifil June 16, 2008 at 9:53 pm

[re=17037]Iggy Plop[/re]: Sorry I accidentally misappropriated your concept.

Borat June 17, 2008 at 5:35 am

I think she is a double agent or a double glazed donut.

NedPepper June 17, 2008 at 1:31 pm

Is it just me or does Patti have those crazy Run Away Bride Eyes?

Political Addict July 30, 2008 at 12:50 pm

[re=17024]Q2[/re]: That is incredibly funny and prescient

thefrontpage July 30, 2008 at 1:54 pm

Patti Solis Doyle is hot.

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