revolving door politics

Patti Solis Doyle Will Now Bankrupt Obama Campaign

Oh Patti.Barack Obama’s presidential campaign is hiring like CRAYZEE these days, and one of the people they just brought on board is a gal by the name of “Patti Solis Doyle.” You might remember her for driving the Clinton campaign into a ditch with her bazillion-dollar donut budget, megawatt smile, and general air of failure. Now she’ll bring that same magic to Generation Obama as the chief of staff to the yet-to-be-named VP candidate: a person whose name is almost certain not to rhyme with “Zillary Blinton.”

With Solis Doyle running the VP team, there’s pretty much no way her ex-friend Hillary will join Obama’s ticket, even if asked, which she won’t be.

Our girl Patti probably got the job because she is old pals with David Axelrod and Rahm Emanuel and every other Democratic politician from Chicago. Plus there are only so many competent people you can have on a team, and Obama’s was pretty much full up.

Former Clinton Campaign Manager Joins Obama Team [The Caucus]

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Sara K. Smith was Wonkette's morning editor from 2008 to 2010, and now contributes a weekly (?!) column to Wonkette, to prove she still loves you all!

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  • ForeignSickSpecialist

    That was her plan the whole time! mwaHAHAHAHahaha

  • AxmxZ

    In this campaign, she’ll be fetching arugula salads and organic tea.

  • Happy Fun Ball

    Hmmmm . . . yep, I’d hit it.

  • Truculent

    Patty’s back? Caviar and Champagne for everyone! On the campaign, of course.

  • Serolf Divad

    Crap, and I was so looking forward to Vice President Gillary Plinton!

  • Uncle Al

    Now the bitterz will like Obama for sure.

  • stankfest

    She’s humming, ” I like to bee in Amereeeca”.

  • shortsshortsshorts

    Will she now be on Bill’s list of people to kill?

  • Q2

    Bad choice: she has a square face. People with square faces are unimaginative…lazy…and rely too much on donuts doing the heavy lifting. We have a crisis! Have a donut. There are issues in fund raising! Have a donut. MacAttack! Donut. FOR GOD SAKES PEOPLE WHY DO YOU THINK HILZ TURNED INTO A GIGANTISAURAS THE LAST FEW MONTHS? Dat’s right: donuts. Big mistake and Barry’s gonna expand as a result.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=17013]AxmxZ[/re]: And gettin’ drunk wit Obama, swillin’ Chablis…

  • ManchuCandidate

    As long as they hide the checkbook from Patti and keep the TV on her favorite shows, they should be okay. Oh wow. I just turned my fucking comment into a 50s era joke on women. Is she a bad driver, too?

  • jimh

    Only the finest imported designer Belgian waffles will do!

  • nhunter

    At least she seems to have adopted a less high maintenance hair style recently. That should save some time in the mornings.

  • Iggy Plop

    Yum. Sexy time. And now that the monster has been defeated, can Samantha Power come back? Cuz that would make the sexiest campaign staff in the history of those things. But Patti and Samantha have already joined forces with Michelle in my own richly detailed fantasies.

  • Walter Sobchak

    [re=17023]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:If by “kill,” you mean “surreptitiously hump in a broom closet.”

  • WadISay

    Hopey is also negotiating with Mark Penn, but the discussions are hung up on the “Bacon double cheeseburger of his sole choosing” clause Penn insists on in all his deals.

  • graceless

    Do you think they’ll hire Mark Penn next?

  • shortsshortsshorts

    [re=17043]Walter Sobchak[/re]: I stand corrected. For sure.

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    Kind of a grown-up-Winnie Cooper thing goin’ on there. Alrighty.

  • TGY

    This will seriously cut into Barry’s budget for blow.

  • RuperttheBear

    Wikipedia says she came up with “Hillaryland.” Yay! I’m glad she’s on BHO’s campaign, because “Hillarylan” isn’t retarted at all.

  • superfecta

    She certainly looks much happier now. A change is as good as a rest, right?

  • RaptorAvatar

    [re=17024]Q2[/re]: She was jinxed because of Rachel Ray’s terrorist scarf.

  • JSDC007

    Who knew that Patti Sollis Doyle was also Phoebe Cates, foxy 1980s minx of such classics as “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” and “Gremlins 2: The New Batch.”

  • metropolitan

    patty joins the obama campaign! woo-hoo, i can again have sexual fantasies about her! (though i’ll still keep the part about keeping one eye on my wallet while we’re doing it.

  • metropolitan

    obamaland is going to be so much fun!
    get in on the freebie snow shovels before they all go broke.

  • Iggy Plop

    [re=17112]JSDC007[/re]: Great. Now the riff from that Cars’ song is playing over and over again in my head.

  • Mo MoDo

    A deserved reward for a job well-done. Hilltard conspiracy theorists can begin bitter blogging…now.

  • problemwithcaring

    I can contain my bitterness about this if and only if it means jobs for Howard Wolfson as White House Independent Counsel, Mark Penn as White House Political Consultant and Maggie Williams as White House photographer…

    & of course, Chels, Sasha and Malia were promised a family dog…

  • Rodney Badger

    Is the Obama campaign using the same photographer that took my grade school class picture to take staff headshots?

    Some advice: Next time, go with the Pastoral Field backdrop. Also, don’t use the comb. The campaign cannot survive an outbreak of head lice.

  • RushLickBall

    [re=17043]Walter Sobchak[/re]: No, “kill” is correct. He already wore her out in the broom closet, giving her “personal reasons” for leaving the Hillary Titanic.

  • bitchincamaro

    The article goes on to state that BHO has hired Stephanie Cutter to
    spruce up “Mrs. Obama’s” image. Cutter was John Kerry’s communications
    director. Word of advice to Michelle: Run. Do not walk. Run the fuck away
    in case Cutter had anything at all to do with Kerry’s pathetic lack of
    effective communications not too long ago.

  • DangerousLiberal

    What, Susan Ostrich wasn’t available? “Er, Senator, I’d get out of that tank if I were you.”

    The WaPo sez that teh Hillz gang is in a twist over this. Waaah. The bitters all come on the “comments site” (once they learned of these newfangled intertubes” and started saying that they will now vote for McCain and shit. I don’t mind if they assfuck themselves, but could the just leave the rest of us out of it?

  • WonkaBee

    [re=17192]problemwithcaring[/re]: Oh, please. I don’t EVER want to see or hear Wolfson again. He was to barf.

    I think that picture of Patti is a stock one that’s been around for a while, btw. Now as I remember, her lame ecuse when she resigned was that her kid didn’t want to see her anymore or something?

  • Mr Blifil

    Yeah but what about the ho who called Hillary a “monster?” When’s she coming back into the fold? Cause she was fine, for an Ivy Leaguer.

  • Mr Blifil

    [re=17037]Iggy Plop[/re]: Sorry I accidentally misappropriated your concept.

  • Borat

    I think she is a double agent or a double glazed donut.

  • NedPepper

    Is it just me or does Patti have those crazy Run Away Bride Eyes?

  • Political Addict

    [re=17024]Q2[/re]: That is incredibly funny and prescient

  • thefrontpage

    Patti Solis Doyle is hot.