Wonkette
If it weren’t for the greatest president in modern times, George Walker Bush, Jr., the Republican nominee in 2008 would be his Brother, Jebediah “Jeb” Bush, the second male heir to the Bush crown and a known Mexican. He would win, because why not. But George Jr. got to the presidency first, and despite his fantastic performance over the last eight years, the Liberals would use the sum of their mighty slapping powers to prevent Jeb’s latest Bush presidency. Poor Jeb. But since everyone in this country forgets everything, he can easily run in 2012, which George Jr. today suggested his brother might do. Country, saved.
President Bush was asked by a SkyNews correspondent whether the end of his term marked the end of the Bush presidential dynasty that began with his father’s Oval Office tenure 20 years ago.
In response, Bush singled out his brother, who has often been mentioned as a possible Republican presidential contender. “Well, we’ve got another one out there who did a fabulous job as governor of Florida, and that’s Jeb,” he said. “But you know, you better ask him whether or not he’s thinking of running. But he’d be a great president.”
Oh God, this is the exact language Bill Clinton used in 2006 when asked about Hillary possibly running. “I don’t know, but she’d do a helluva job!” Well now Bill’s wife Hillary will be able to run against Jeb Bush in 2012. There is somehow no scenario in which this won’t happen, and we’ll finally be fighting the terrorists over here instead of over “there” (Nazi Germany). Thanks a lot, Jesus!
Kitty Harrison for VEEP!!!!!!!!1!
Doesn’t Jeb have a daughter that likes to take drugs?
and Katherine Harris will be his VP
not to mention the inevitable chelsea-jenna 2048 contest…
How come the damn British media gets all these rich, sweet bon mots outta that asshole, and our librul “media” shits their panties?
Laura “Xanax eyes” Bush might run in 2012.
shortsshortsshorts: well, I guess she’s got two votes
That’s a race that could only be fairly decided by a cage match to the death, don’t you think?
Mary Chaney will head the search committee on naming Mary Chaney VP
SICRAM!!!
(Sitting in the corner rocking and moaning).
I’m guessing that E. Coli poisoning is a touch more popular than any Bush Dynasty twerp.
Marcel Parcells: I don’t know, this is Florida we’re talking about. Those new diebold machines till multiply our two votes, exponentially.
*will not till
/fixed
Aw, I expect a post like this to feature the photo from the Bush xmas card in the 70s when chimpy couldn’t be bothered to find an ashtray, not some starchy after church candid.
It’s okay, everyone. He’ll lose because of sexism just like the last horse’s ass who wanted to pretend America still had the Divine Right Of Kings.
I miss drugs.
Oh god - Jeb vs a 90 year old Hillary and Bill? I hope I am dead.
That little girl in the picture seems *awfully* excited to have GW’s hand up her hoo-ha.
“Jeb hit head.”
stankfest: Noelle. The twins call her their crack whore cousin. And then there’s the son (Not P.) that got caught fucking his girlfriend in the back of his Jeep in the mall parking lot one xmas. His wife has had a few customs scandals on her return from Columbia or Venezuela or whatever-the-hell-it-is brown country she’s from. The only shot that branch of the family has is George P. and that’s only because he’s hot (obv. from his mother’s side). He’s the sleeper cell we must watch for in a few years.
You know, if you were Jeb, you’d have every right to be pissed off right now because he was considered the “smart” Bush kid and by that, it means he’s the only one with an IQ above room temperature.
Not much higher, though, because, as it’s been reported here, he once mounted Kitty Harris.
I would like whatever force is acting on the brothers Bush in that CNN photo to continue horizontally crushing them into nothingness.
Kitty Harris says: “I will accept the position of Vice President…unless there is a hurricane.”
FMA: What else do you do with a horse besides mount it and ride?
This dynasty totally belongs to Jenna
Just want to point out that Jeb’s name is not actually Jebediah, but is in fact John Ellis Bush. Making his name JEB simply his initials. This alone should disqualify him for the presidency.
FMA: What happened to the kittens?
By 2012, Hopey McUnicorn will have solved all of life’s problems, and will be elected President of Earth by acclamation. Upon which signal the Cylons will attack and kill us all. But at least we won’t have to worry about Jeb-Hillary.
Who wouldn’t want to see Romneys vs. Bush’s on Family Feud!???
Does it count as a dynasty if one guy was only President for one term, followed by an eight-year gap, followed by 8 years of a man who is arguably the dumbest man to hold the presidential office? There are a number of words I can use to describe this (such as “fucking travesty”), but “dynasty” is not among them.
1rst test
…if there is one positive thing about “W” it is the fact the “Bush” brand has been tainted beyond belief. Secondly as a Floridian I have begun to believe that stupidity is actually a GENETIC trait that dominant in Bush bloodline! And if you don’t believe take a look at this: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9373195/ and this is only one of many arrest for this young upstanding citizen!
Do html tags work on the new and Improved Wonkette?
If so, you’re looking at a lovely photo of
JEB Bush with the now dead Terry Schaivo.
It’s weird. I’m pretty sure Neil Bush, the real idiot of the family, is the little guy with the bright eyes in the photo, and Jeb, the one who’s supposedly the least stupid, looks like the family retard. Doro looks cute, and Battleship isn’t grotesque yet.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/portuguese/images/020129_noellebush150.jpg
“What day is this? Why is my brother a Negro? God I need my Xanax!” blurted a visibly agitated Noelle Bush, after spending 43 hours in jail for violating her court-ordered drug treatment plan.”
Who TF says, “Negro?” (well except for the UNCF)
…the resemblance between Jeb and Frankenstein is UNCANNY!
Did Jeb proclaim it’s ‘Black Music Month’ for Florida, too?
Sometimes I wish my grandpappy had been a Nazi. That way, I could be rich and powerful, too.
Quick. I need a stake, a sledgehammer, six silver bullets, a cross, holy water, and directions to Florida.
What kind of retard prize is it to be considered “the smart Bush.”
Isn’t that like being the “most sophisticated fundamentalist”?
Christ, that family is like the Nelsons of the damned and Jeb has always had a dumb fat head. How did it get out of Bar?
Juice-IL: I love acronyms! Goddamn Egotistical Obsolete Retarded Garbage Eater With Brown Underwear Streak Habit…
Mediahohoho:
Don’t forget the Fundie motto, “Just ‘cuz it’s a fact, that don’t make it true.”
Noelle Bush misses drugs. You’d think the Boosch clan would have a Dr. in their pockets for emergency Xanax. Maybe it was just a cry for help….
Mediahohoho: yeah, that is like telling your girlfriend that she isn’t as ugly as her sister!
Too bad, really. Jeb would have been a far, far better President than George W. He’s actually, like, somewhat capable and competent and all that.
Let’s start Jeb’s impeachment proceedings now.
Juice-IL: Just like GOB? That’s awesome! He made a great CEO of the Bluth Company.
AngryBlakGuy: Christy Whitman’s daughter was arrested for public drunkenness and look at her all growed up now - and she just ran for congress!!! (and lost in the primary)
I think W said it best: “Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can’t get fooled again.”
Unfortunately, this is America, so it really should be: Fool me once, Bush I. Fool me twice, Bush II. Fool me thrice, Bush III
Dr. Spaceman: I also hear that JEB carries around a Cuban puppet named Warren G Bush.
I keep thinking Walnuts will pick Jeb for his VP.
Jeb/Flying Pig ‘12!
Jeb isn’t short for Jebediah. It’s short for John Ellis Bush, using the Arrested Development naming convention.