PORN FOR BEGINNERS  10:31 am June 13, 2008

Cow Porn Judge’s Stash Revealed!

by Sara K. Smith

No, sickos, we are not going to reveal those photos on the front page of this FAMILY PUBLICATION. Instead we will show you a clip from Judge Alex Kozinski’s appearance on The Dating Game many moons ago, before he started amassing a collection of naughty pictures and viral videos that would shock all but the most seasoned readers of Mad magazine circa 1970. Sexy cow-lady photo after the jump.

Would you hit it?Pretty titillating, no?

Here is one helpful blogger’s collection of the judge’s archive; dirty pictures are linked so it is relatively safe for work even though you should not be looking at this crap at work.

Kozinski on the Dating Game [YouTube]
Exclusive: Kozinski’s Porn — Images from Judge Alex Kozinski’s Web Site [Patterico's Pontifications]
Here Comes The Judge’s Porn! [10 Zen Monkeys]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 55 comments }

Happy Fun Ball June 13, 2008 at 10:37 am

Smoove moves by the good judge there. Chicks dig full-on face munching imemdiately after the initial introduction.

Also, that chick could chew through cans with those teeth.

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2008 at 10:37 am

Auugh! Pearls before five? Obscene!

RuperttheBear June 13, 2008 at 10:42 am

I scored 100% on the tranny test. Yay for me!

FreshCliches June 13, 2008 at 10:42 am

Udderly stoopid.

ThreeFingersNeat June 13, 2008 at 10:42 am

Booooooo! That cow pic is udderly despicable, Sara.

econdave June 13, 2008 at 10:42 am

She’s udderly beautiful.

econdave June 13, 2008 at 10:44 am

[re=15323]FreshCliches[/re]: [re=15324]ThreeFingersNeat[/re]: [re=15325]econdave[/re]:
Yahtzee!

slavojzizek June 13, 2008 at 10:49 am

The commenters on that blog are crazy: “So…how is someone who is Catholic supposed to get a fair trial with someone on the bench who obviously has a very, very negative view of religion?

And what is the significance of someone who is obviously homosexual making light of the Priest scandals, is he jealous? Does he do the same, and feels a need to revel in it? Does he want it to happen more often? What is the criticism?

This guy is a sick piece of shit.”

This makes me very defensive. I think any judge without the ‘cow girls’ on their computer should be thrown off the bench.

AngryBlakGuy June 13, 2008 at 10:52 am

…what kind of porno were they expecting to find on the computer of someone from a former Soviet Union eastern block nation?! This is actually the tame shyt!

Gopherit v2.0 June 13, 2008 at 10:55 am

I want to know where the guy rendted the priest costume. I need it before church on Sunday.

Hart88 June 13, 2008 at 10:55 am

Hey, Squiggy was on The Dating Game!

sleepy June 13, 2008 at 10:56 am

hey, weird: bachelor #1 is squiggy.

Truculent June 13, 2008 at 10:56 am

That cow’s a flop

Gopherit v2.0 June 13, 2008 at 10:56 am

[re=15314][re=15324]ThreeFingersNeat[/re]: Somebody must have like her. She has a pearl necklace.

stankfest June 13, 2008 at 10:57 am

That girl is cute. She has that Judy Carne look. Can she take a punch?

Darehead June 13, 2008 at 10:58 am

Entertainment Weekly just announced his film deal: Kowzinsky: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Romania.tag

Happy Fun Ball June 13, 2008 at 10:58 am

If he was on his game he would have explained that the web site was really just a depository for the exceptionally large number of exhibits in that obscenity trial, including the cow and tranny stuff. They all have to be stored somewhere. That’s what I say whenever people stumble onto my stash. I say it’s a bunch of exhibits related to an obscenity trial I am handling. This never works though, because I am a landscaper.

AngryBlakGuy June 13, 2008 at 11:00 am

…I need more COW-BELL!!!(First!)

WadISay June 13, 2008 at 11:00 am

The Dating Game girl looks kind of like the cow, except she didn’t have a cross on her side.

metropolitan June 13, 2008 at 11:02 am
thefrontpage June 13, 2008 at 11:04 am

In the “When Will He Resign” pool, I’m going to guess in about two weeks. By June 27th, he will be out of office, resigned, over, done, finished, goodbye.

AngryBlakGuy June 13, 2008 at 11:06 am

…is it me or does that cow have cleavage(or maybe camel toe)?

bago June 13, 2008 at 11:09 am

The judge is a /b-tard!

vicuna June 13, 2008 at 11:11 am

[re=15344]Happy Fun Ball[/re]: A client could theoretically request cow lady topiaries.

metropolitan June 13, 2008 at 11:12 am

huh, my comment did seem to show up (because of multiple URL’s?)

but here it is again, the only cow lady porn i look at is butter cow lady porn:

http://blogs.reuters.com/trail08/files/2007/10/buttercow.jpg

metropolitan June 13, 2008 at 11:13 am
metropolitan June 13, 2008 at 11:14 am
freakishlystrong June 13, 2008 at 11:16 am

How could Wonkette not have “cow porn” as a tag!?

freakishlystrong June 13, 2008 at 11:17 am

[re=15367]metropolitan[/re]: I scardy of you..

Gopherit v2.0 June 13, 2008 at 11:19 am

Oh no! They’ve found some snuff porn on his page, too!

Warning: very graphic!
http://www.klinger-export.com/english/images/1000.jpg

Happy Fun Ball June 13, 2008 at 11:21 am

vicuna: Any cow lady topiaries I might create would be shielded from obscenity laws by the landscaper-client privilege.

Darehead June 13, 2008 at 11:22 am

[re=15367]metropolitan[/re]: Those butter people look like they’re clingin’ to their guns, religion n’ antipathy.

Scarab June 13, 2008 at 11:26 am

Congratulations Rita, we’re sending you to Guadalajara with a creepy, grabby Romanian!

Scarab June 13, 2008 at 11:31 am

Cow porn? Is he Hindu?

Brutus Harlot June 13, 2008 at 11:33 am

I love that he tried to blame it on his son at one point. I’m sure he’ll have a great father’s day.

StrangelyBrown June 13, 2008 at 11:37 am

I unfortunately caught a couple minutes of O’Reilly talking about this last night with his Lawyer Fembot. They had a good laugh about how this was all par for the course in the horrible, horrible 9th Circuit, and Bill himself even said that it must have been divine retribution for being so nice to teh gheys, or whoever. Of course, neither one mentioned that Kozinski was a Reagan appointee, or that he was on Bush’s short list for the Supreme Court.

And remember kids: if you like your job, then keep your porn on your home computer! Seriously, why else do you have a home computer?

loudmouthredhead June 13, 2008 at 11:41 am

“In my country, is customary to check tonsils with tongue on first date, followed by dressing like cow”

I hope that lady didn’t make one of the first additions to his stash (Anyone look?)

loudmouthredhead June 13, 2008 at 11:43 am

[re=15385]Brutus Harlot[/re]: It was a VERY creepy day for junior when dad gave him access to “the dairy”…

loudmouthredhead June 13, 2008 at 11:48 am

“Congratulations, Mary Tyler Moore, and here’s your date!”
“I’m gonna make it after a- MPH?!”

Vanity Smurf June 13, 2008 at 11:55 am

[re=15348]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: You can ring my cow bell any time.

Gopherit v2.0 June 13, 2008 at 12:06 pm

[re=15401]Vanity Smurf[/re]: Get a stall, you two.

mpslim June 13, 2008 at 12:15 pm

Looking back now, all the signs were there. When me & Kozinski went to the State fair, he lingered long at the dairy cow milking exhibit; all the while drooling over his deep fried twinkie. At the time I thought he was just a country boy at heart, but now I now the horrible truth…he is a man who enjoys fucking livestock.

Jerk Cade June 13, 2008 at 12:29 pm

[re=15372]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Ahh! Won’t someone think of the children?!!

Just look at this Emporium of Flith(TM)!

http://www.snuffsupermarket.com/

Jerk Cade June 13, 2008 at 12:32 pm

Anyway, why milk such a non-story?

Redhead June 13, 2008 at 12:47 pm

*Yawn* That kid sucking off a priest costume was cool about 5 years ago and the kid “sucking himself” is just using a dildo (which has its own disturbing connotations…)

AzDownboy June 13, 2008 at 1:41 pm

Alt tag FTW

bostonfern June 13, 2008 at 1:56 pm

How was the dude shitting himself while bungie jumping porn? Now, if Judge Alex ordered this at a dungeon… well, that’s another story.

gurukalehuru June 13, 2008 at 2:02 pm

Late Night Shots, 210 views
Something with a link to actual porn,2990 views

agingboomerguy June 13, 2008 at 8:20 pm

California cows are happy cows! ©

BTW, Kozinski was interviewed on public radio when he was appointed chief of the 9th, and related that:

1. The dating game contestant told him after the show that her ear piece wasn’t working during the show and she therefore picked “number 2” at random;

2. She stood him up on the date.

Dejected, he turned to cow porn.

I for one do not blame him one bit.

USLaw.com June 13, 2008 at 8:29 pm

The original archived images from the Kozinski website PLUS images from the government’s case against artist Ira Isaacs. Judge for youself whether there is enough similarity of to have warranted the judge’s self-recusal:

<a href=http://www.uslaw.com/pop/justice-cowed-how-obscene-were-the-videos-kozinskis-recused-himself-from-the-case-over/?p=139

USLaw.com June 13, 2008 at 8:33 pm
USLaw.com June 13, 2008 at 8:34 pm

[re=16245]USLaw.com[/re]: http://tinyurl.com/4eg288

agingboomerguy June 13, 2008 at 8:39 pm

WARNING: Unless the phrase “chocolate sundae” means more to you than a cold dessert, the images linked by USAlaw (above) are best avoided. Unless you want to lose your appetite for a week.

Sabre_Justice June 13, 2008 at 11:27 pm

I TOLD YOU furries have infiltrated the highest levels of government!

I plan to get one to be President.

schvitzatura June 14, 2008 at 4:34 am

The International Masters Tournament of what? Chess? Deep sea fishing?

Cow schtupping? In Guadalajara?

Bachelor #1, Dave Lander as a young Newt Gingrich, obs…

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