Wonkette
Here is yesterday’s freebie Washington Post Express, available for the taking at any flame-engulfed Metro station near you. Do you believe that Phil Mickelson could simultaneously stand in front of and behind Tiger Woods? Well, now you see how the whole Bilderberg 9/11 Bohemian Grove thing works. Thanks to Wonkette operative “Scott” for the tip. [Photoshop Disasters, Washington Post Express (PDF)]
PARANORMAL CONSPIRACIES
Sham Washington MSM Refuses To Tell Truth About Golfers
Read More:
9:45 AM
on Fri June 13 2008
By
Sara K. Smith
1271 Views
The PGA Championship: Sponsored by MC Escher.
Photo credit: M.C. Escher
Truculent: Great minds!
That driver across the top of the head must’ve really hurt.
Doglessliberal: Indeed. But you got across the finish line first.
Ouch! That had to have hurt! Wait! I call *PHOTOSHOP DECEPTION* or else Phil would be in the hospitale (hospitale is a cheap Mexican hospital because that’s all Phil can afford due to the consistent ass-whoopin’ Tiger puts on MickMan). In addition, the average golf course uses 400,000 gallons of water a year. There are 17,000 golf courses in America. 17 of which are in Palm Springs WHICH IS A FUQIN’ DESERT PEOPLE and which use 1,000,000 gallon a year. This is an environmental crime of MONUMENTAL proportions. Where is the outrage people? Where is the outrage?!
Q2: You’re right, but Bush designated golf courses as protected preserves, so don’t get all highfallutin’ ’round these parts with your fancy “environmental” talk.
17,000 gold courses?
I’m glad America can still do something right.
Q2: I hate golf courses.
This isn’t a photoshop job. It’s just that pro golf is so incredibly boring that it warps space and time.
ForeignSickSpecialist: There aughta be a Links Liberation Army or sumptin’ that goes around planting kudzu on every golf course in America. Don’t get me started about baseball.
Golf: what good is it?
Josh Fruhlinger: The only thing more boring than playing golf is watching golf. Or maybe blog-commenting about watching golf. Plus they fake in bird noises on the teevee broadcasts.
Q2: Plus the pesticide and fertilizer it takes to make those beautiful “natural” greens and fairways.
I am the Lorax, and I speak for the tees
In fairness, Mickelson has lost a ton of weight recently. Now he’s really bendy I guess.
On the (guilty pleasure) sports talk radio show I listen to, they’ve taken to calling him “Baldrick,” a play on his given name. He has a cunning plan to win the U.S. Open on two busted knees.
V572625694: It keeps Bush’s brain on something other than presidenting. Oh, wait…
Golf is the only sport you can do while high on drugs or alcohol. Sex isn’t a sport, its a gift from god.
V572625694:
Golf, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Uh-huh
GOlf, huh, yeah
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again, y’all
Golf, huh, good God
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me
Ohhh, Golf, I despise
Because it means destruction
Of innocent tree lives
Golf means tears
To thousands of seedling eyes
When their seeds go to grow
And lose their lives
I said, GOLF, huh
Good God, y’all
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Say it again
GOLF, whoa, Lord
What is it good for
Absolutely nothing
Listen to me
Yesterday they lied about Dr. Paul, the future president, quitting the race. Now, they get caught printing fake pictures. The tards were right. You can’t trust the media.
stankfest: Are you forgetting bowling, darts and pool? And don’t forget that it’s possible to throw a no-hitter on acid.
ForeignSickSpecialist: The GOP has redesignated such liberal/demo kind of talk : “High flatulent language” http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=215 The piece describes an anti-Obama Youtube video from the Republican National Committee that uses clips of other Democrats talking negatively about Obama in the past:
Clips of former President Bill Clinton and former candidate John Edwards are also used. “Rhetoric is not enough. High flatulent language is not enough,” says Edwards from a debate appearance.
just heard this on NPR on Wednesdsay about how much water courses use. Given the lack of clean water for a whole lot of people in this world, it is pretty obscene
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=91363837
one fun fact from that NPR story:
“Audubon International estimates that the average American course uses 312,000 gallons per day. In a place like Palm Springs, where 57 golf courses challenge the desert, each course eats up a million gallons a day. That is, each course each day in Palm Springs consumes as much water as an American family of four uses in four years”
2goats: one could suggest that most of Bush’s language is high flatulent.
queeraselvis v 2.0: If only! He was probably out on the links when the neocons convinced Cheney that invading Iraq was a good idea. Now Chimpy stays in the Oval Office and dreams about…Iran. “Hmmm….I wonder if Tommy Franks is doing anything right now.”
Doglessliberal: Ever been there (Palm Springs)? Beautiful dry desert-y mountains around it, and wham, right in the middle of the valley are all these condos, green green lawns, palm trees, golf courses and (of course!) strip malls. Phoenix and Las Vegas always make you wonder why anyone would build cities there, but at least they’ve reached some kind of urban critical mass and have jobs and such. Palm Springs is just a place to go die.
Plenty of free parking, though!
Doglessliberal:
Holy crap.
But remember everyone, the rest of our world hates us for our freedoms.
Tra: No. The world hates us for our oversized drivers, titanium irons, and golf balls that fly 20 yards longer than PGA rules allow. The Islamofascists can’t get out of the trap.
This picture is proof that Obama is a Muslim….or something
Wouldn’t it be great if Michael Douglas popped out of the bushes with a black bag in one hand and a baseball bat in the other?
Serolf Divad could have done a better job, especially if you wanted Larry Craig included in the gallery.
It’s sad enough that The Washington Post even publishes this Express thing, whatever it is, and it’s bad and sad enough that they have to photo shop some stupid picture about golfers. And the Post wonders why circulation, subscriptions, ads, ad revenues, readership, interest, support, revenues and profits are tanking? Well, here’s one of 500 reasons.
V572625694: most of S Cal is a desert! It is beautiful as a desert, but that hasn’t stopped people from thinking they can make it into central PA, with rolling green hills and plenty of water. Plus, it is, as deserts are, hot as hell, so everyone has to use ten billion units of electricity to cool everything. Real smart.
TGY: Another golf course mugging. When will we ever have peace between the races?
uhm, sorry to say but that’s not photoshop, it’s clearly tiger woods torso closely lined up with the overexposed sun reflection on the white guy’s shirt.
but i do find it interesting that the only professional golf player whose name i know is a black player.
Doglessliberal: Being “one who prepares” (SURVIVALIST NUTJOB) I am amazed (FUCKING STOOPIFIED) by the fact that humans would choose to live in a desert. In the case of Vegas, if not for the good grace of the Colorado River, life would be hard (EVERYTHING WOULD FUCKING DIE). I have to wonder about the sanity of those who have chosen to live in a place which, left to its own devices, would turn into back into a hostile desert in a few months. Now I — too — am embittered by the mindless recklessness which has become common assumption that the water will always flow the lights will always burn, and if anything bad happens my Uncle Sam will save me. Grrr. Time for a Mark Twain quota: “It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.”
Let’s put this thing in proper perspective.
This is how Dubya got ‘ahead’ in the last 2 elections.
Q2:
That stupidity also applies to those fuckheads that insist on building homes on the beaches of the Atlantic and Gulf coasts knowing that a hurricane will demolish it. The taxpayers and policy holders that have some sense can’t possibly keep bailing out these assholes who want a pretty view. Zoning laws are made for a reason, and developers should not be allowed to change them.
Servo: I couldn’t agree more. Fact is, as I understand it, federal supported flood insurance guarantees that John J. Richie can build a $5,000,000 home on the dunes of Westhampton and have a damn good guarantee that Uncle will bail his rich ass out when the inevitable hurricane washes it away. How did we ever get here from 1776? Are there any Mr. Smiths left in Washington?
I’m kind of embarrassed to admit this, but I happen to know that Tiger was wearing a blue shirt yesterday, with horizontal blue stripes. He only wears red shirts on Sundays. Oh, he’s also a terrorist, and yesterday he gave Adam Scott a fist bump at the end of the round. Supposedly, this was because Sctt has a broken right hand and can’t shake hands, but any right-thinking American can see through that. I say nuke his ass.
That should have been horizontal white stripes, and someone please add an “o” to “Sctt.” Thank you.
It’s not a bad Photoshop, it’s trompe l’oeil. You can see the original here: http://www.jamd.com/image/g/71675030 They just lined up perfectly.
weirdiowasculpture: NO! Napalm his sorry ass and we’ll take out Tiger and another resource hating terror fairway green to boot!
Bringin’ back the integrity… fucking Post.
and so many of you are like “I trust the Post so very much.”
Lies! Someone from the Post merely photoshopped your comments in.
Q2: Napalm them all! Spectators…golfers…press…announcers…caterers… napalm the whole resource-hating lot! Remember: you’re either with the enviornment…or ya’ll agan it!
Q2: Environment. Damn.
We should just accept this for what it is, proof that Tiger Woods is really a transdimensional being sent to this planet to study the behaviors of the rich.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: And Barry is the leading agent of the follow-up mission, with a more ‘going native’ angle. (Also Huma Abedin, who is Shiva-esque with her many arms and doesn’t sweat.)
I posted this over at Photoshop Disasters, but I think it also applies here:
“Many of these commentors are not interested in discovering the truth; they only want to push their agenda. If they had bothered to click on any one of the many links posted in this thread, it would be clear that this picture is part of a series, proving beyond a doubt that it is NOT photoshopped.
Props to commentor eric, who resisted jumping on the bandwagon before the rest of pictures in the series were revealed.
Illicit photo-manipulators must have gotten so good that this blog can’t find any examples that show it more clearly.”
Geez, people, haven’t you ever heard of a long lens? It’s an optical illusion because Tiger is a) backlit and b) incredibly fit. Not shopped, just a weird angle.