the war on paultards

Ron Paul Will End His Campaign, Again, And Start New Campaign!

Thanks to commenter “floraway” for ruining all of our fun and linking to an article about Ron Paul’s big announcement tonight, which will be that he is ending his presidential campaign for the 80th time in order to launch a new campaign, for Liberty. As far as we can tell, that Olde English shit is the official logo for Dr. Congressman Paul’s latest gig, which, as per usual, will be a scam to take your Gas Money. You can read his (premature) concession letter at the Campaign for Liberty’s website. It is notable for overtly publicizing his glorious new book, Ron Paul’s Manifesto Pool Party. Anyway, let’s see how our old pals at Ron Paul Forums are taking the news. Is this just another Main Stream Media conspiracy?

Well, this should suffice:

(Honestly, the Hilltards are so much better these days.)

Ron Paul to End Campaign, Launches New Effort [ABC News]
[Ron Paul's Campaign For Liberty]

About the author

Jim Newell is Wonkette's beloved Capitol Hill Typing Demon. He joined Wonkette.com in 2007, left for some other dumb job in 2010, and proudly returned in 2012 as our "Senior Editor at Large." He lives in Washington and also writes for things such as The Guardian, the Manchester paper of liberals.

View all articles by Jim Newell
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104 comments

  1. FunkyPalmettoBug

    Merry Christmas? Oh wait, the paultards don’t recognize 2 of the seasons…

  2. NotUrEvryDayWEzl

    Wow. I never thought those two letters could evoke so much emotion, yet I do believe I can feel his (her? it’s possible, but I”m sexist) pain.

  3. Darehead

    Liberty and Freedom, Mein FoundingFatherLand!!!

    “They are equally unaware of their shameless spiritual terrorization and the hideous abuse of their human freedom, for they absolutely fail to suspect the inner insanity of the whole doctrine. All they see is the ruthless force and brutality of its calculated manifestations, to which they always submit in the end.”

    –p. 66, Ron Paul’s Mein Revolution
    http://www.hitler.org/writings/Mein_Kampf/mkv1ch02.html

  4. Tits_LaRue

    So, is this like some kind of money-laundering thing, or what?
    But really: WTF is ‘kludge’s’ avatar? It looks like it might mean “Volkswagen Anarchy” or something…

  5. shortsshortsshorts

    “shortsforFREEDOMshortsshorts Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 5:02 pm

    I love you Ron Paul. I want to put your man-meat into my wide ass and take your cum with a shovel. Do me.”

  6. Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    Soooooooo this just gives Paultards something to do until the new Hobbit movie comes out in 2011, right?

  7. obfuscator

    “THIS ISN’T VERY RELEVANT! BUT IT IS EXCITING!!!!”

    That was almost as funny as “LOOK AT ALL THE MOVEMENT!!!!!”

    Also, I actually know a guy who Ownz a pair of TruckNutz.

  8. Darehead

    [re=14756]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I was about to have one, til I read that. Now I am laughing myself shitless, thank you.

  9. shortsshortsshorts

    “shortsforFREEDOMshortsshorts Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 5:08 pm

    I WANT A LARGE PILE OF SHIT THAT SMELLS GREAT AND SEALS MY FATE WITHIN A CRATE WHICH NOBODY SHALL ABATE…. RANDOMNESS IS FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDOOOOOMMMMMM!!!

    WE ALL NEED TO START A FUCKING REVOLUTION AND KILL THE BLACKS BECAUSE RON PAUL WOULD WANT US TO, FOR FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOOOOM.”

  10. ronaldpagan

    Seriously the Paultards have nothing on the Hilltards. They need to step up their game.

    And I am so disappointed Ron Paul isn’t running! He would make the best McCain spoiler! Do you think Wonkette could flatter him into reconsidering?

  11. Quacker

    [re=14781]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:

    That caused me to throw up in my mouth just a little. Fuck!

  12. shortsshortsshorts

    shortsforFREEDOMshortsshorts Says:
    June 12th, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    Fuck you Ron Paul. Your a crazy old fuck face.

  13. SayItWithWookies

    [re=14807]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: In the future everyone will have a crush on Ron Paul for fifteen minutes.

  14. anabellum

    ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh….ron paul shows his true face….hes a spoiler candidate……intent on splitting the MIGHTY libertarian vote…for the betterment of all mankind…

    this was, of course, the plan all along…we should have known…

    if youll look in your handy copy of the Necronumbnuticrom, youll see that it speaks of how “conspiracy weenies will only experience cosmic justification for their true understanding of reality, in defeat”….”this is the way it ever was, and should be taken as cue by the TRUE weenie”…..”a cue that it is time to return to your video games, amid much jerking off at the computer…in order to prepare for the coming struggle”….

  15. NebraskashireGentry

    [re=14763]Scarab[/re]: I don’t think that font is reserved exclusively for gang members, rather for any who desire a filigreed neck tattoo.

    These two categories largely overlap but there are enough exceptions to warrant the distinction.

  16. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=14820]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yes! It is so awesome that you caught that. ARE YOU IN MY BRAIN??????

  17. Darehead

    [re=14797]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: You’re right on about teh blacks. Neo-nazi David Duke, who loves Ron Paul, hopes that Obama will be the “big dark spot ” that finally leads America to the DOCTOR:

    http://www.davidduke.com/general/obama-wins-demo-nomination-a-black-flag-for-white-america_3934.html

    “Obama is like that big dark spot on your arm that finally sends you to the doctor for some real medicine. Obama is the pain that lets your body know that something is dreadfully wrong.

    Obama lets the American people know that there is a real cancer eating away at the heart of our country and Republican aspirin will not only not cure it, but only masks the pain and makes you think you don’t need radical surgery.

    Obama is the telltale X-ray.”

    Obama is the wake up call.

  18. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=14889]Darehead[/re]: Seriously? Any pile of shit can get a PhD now? WTF?

  19. Fascist Nation

    It just tickles me pink that you constantly have Ron Paul on the brain. Nothing says lovin’ like attention.

  20. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=14933]Fascist Nation[/re]: How ’bout floggings? Does that mean the same thing as “having him on the brain”?

    rEVOLution!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1!

  21. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=14933]Fascist Nation[/re]: Yup, we wanna be just like you!
    When the hell are you bringing back the blimp?
    Arrrgh. Paultards.

  22. Kludge

    The blimp is not coming back! We have a new exciting 501c(4) that will be pushing ~$5 million onto our congressional candidates!

    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  23. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=14942]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Every time they’re here I want them to go away, and everytime they go away, I want them back again.

    [re=14933]Fascist Nation[/re]: ….and that’s all the attention Paultard will receive. Your guy’s done, finished. Train left the station, you missed it. Bye-bye!

  24. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=14949]Kludge[/re]: Dude, I don’t know what’s causing so much pain, but please see a doctor….it’s okay to dig up one of your jars and spend a kugerand or two on health care. I know Dr. Ron would approve.

    Or is that like an homage to Robert Plant?

  25. Kludge

    [re=14958]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: My love is in league with the freeway
    Its passion will ride, as the cities fly by
    And the tail-lights dissolve, in the coming of night
    And the questions in thousands take flight
    My love is a-miles in the waiting
    The eyes that just stare, and the glance at the clock
    And the secret that burns, and the pain that grows dark
    And it’s you once again
    Leading me on – leading me down the road
    Driving beyond – driving me down the road

  26. Darehead

    [re=14976]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: This from Wiki: “After the war, Germany, having lost much of its gold in reparations, could no longer coin gold “Reichsmarks” and moved to paper currency, although the Weimar Republic later introduced the “rentenmark” and later the gold-backed reichsmark in an effort to control hyperinflation.”

  27. glamourdammerung

    [re=14933]Fascist Nation[/re]: I think about necrotizing fasciitis fairly often as well and despite your pitiful attempt at wit, I still lump it in the “bad things” column.

  28. glamourdammerung

    [re=14986]Kludge[/re]: Ron Paul believes in a philosophy of liberty for those that are like him. I mean white and “Christian”, not “batshit crazy” in this regard.

  29. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=14982]Darehead[/re]: Yeah, but the German’s dropped the Deusche Mark for the Euro, (BTW: Thanks for making me look that up….. Wonkette, where I learn something new every day.) and the Euro ain’t gold-backed…..Ron Paul weeps.

    Of course, a paultard might keep a few reichsmarks for old times sake…..

  30. Darehead

    [re=14986]Kludge[/re]: Right, Paul hates democracy and loves the temple of freedom:

    “We say to them: We are trying to make up for that which you, in your criminal stupidity, have failed to carry out. By your parliamentarian jobbing you have helped to drag the nation into ruin. But we, by our aggressive policy, are setting up a new philosophy of life which we shall defend with indomitable devotion. Thus we are building the steps on which our nation once again may ascend to the temple of freedom.”

  31. Kludge

    [re=14991]glamourdammerung[/re]: I think you’ll find our base is dominated by nontheists with a healthy mix of ethnicities. I’m a Native American Agnostic, in fact. I’m unsure how to refute if you believe economic and social freedoms are a “batshit crazy” concept except by telling you to re-watch the video with an open mind. Its rationale is irrefutable.

  32. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=14999]Kludge[/re]: Nope. No. Your wrong. I’m going to go ride my public transit now, because, you know, the private sector fucked it up so bad.

  33. Kludge

    [re=15004]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: If there is no free market, any failures of the private sector are irrelevant…. For the sake of arguing though, I ride a bicycle and drive a car without difficulty, what has been “fucked up”? Cars and gasoline are remarkably cheap here (in the United State), and gov’t taxes make up more monetary gains in the sale of a gallon of gasoline than the profit which is taken by the oil companies. The fact that the private sector is continuing to thrive despite immense gov’t interference is incredible!

  34. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15011]Kludge[/re]: No they don’t. No it isn’t. You’re looking at the initial step. “Government makes more blah blah.” There are OH SO MANY WINDFALLS and the money goes back to those cheeky bastards anyway. What does Alex Jones think? You may stay and play, but don’t get saucy. There have been thousands before you, some nice, some mean, all WRONG. I’ve been on this ‘ere site for many moons, long before I started commenting. I know you won’t last long.

  35. glamourdammerung

    [re=14999]Kludge[/re]: So some crappy shockwave movie is somehow more important than Paul’s career in the last 20 years in terms of describing Paul?

    Interesting view, however it only makes sense if you are trying to defend the indefensible.

  36. Kludge

    [re=15017]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I don’t intend to stay here. We have a hell of a lot to do within the LP and GOP pimping our congressional hopefuls ;)

    I’ve never listened to Alex Jones in my life, nor do I believe in 9/11 “truth” or the NWO conspiracy, no matter how much it is spun on media sites such as this that even the majority of Paul supporters do. The Libertarian Party is gaining grounds because neither the dems or GOP can answer the questions facing our nation with principled answers. All they give us is empty rhetoric from a party of empty unity.

  37. glamourdammerung

    [re=15024]Kludge[/re]: Which pretty much refutes my earlier remark about Paul being a nutter in what way other than “not at all”?

    At best, Paul is a disgusting human being. At worst, he is too stupid to manage a frigging eight page newsletter. Neither is really a glowing endorsement.

  38. Kludge

    [re=15041]glamourdammerung[/re]: You never proved he was a “nutter”. I don’t believe there’s anything to refute. Which of his policies help only White Christians? Handouts are a bandaid at best and drain from the productive, causing the elimination of potential opportunities to fight unemployment.

  39. Mr-Clark

    Jim Newell,

    In a creepy way, it reminds me of the Anheuser-Busch logo. Does Cindy McCain know about this? (She’ll have to wait and tell Midge during one of his lucid spells.)

    The only thing I ever really liked about Ron Paul was his almost subliminal approach to Internet. You know, the “Ron Paul 08″ on every single thread and site on the Internet. I can’t wait to see what he is “Liberating” us from.

    Sincerely and respectfully,

    Mr-Clark

  40. Mr-Clark

    [re=15019]Darehead[/re]: Darehead!

    I missed you! It took until today to get back on here. I’ll be checking out your posts to catch up.

    Sincerely and respectfully,

    Mr-Clark

  41. Kludge

    [re=15070]TGY[/re]: In just a few hours of having campaignforliberty.com up, we’ve gained 5,000 pledges.

  42. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15019]Darehead[/re]: That pantspantspants guy was such a fucker. I’m so glad he’s gone.

  43. glamourdammerung

    [re=15044]Kludge[/re]: I notice you ignored my comment on his newsletter nonsense.

  44. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15084]glamourdammerung[/re]: Given the inefficiencies of what D.C. laughingly calls the ‘criminal justice system,’ I think we can safely assume that 95 percent of the black males in that city are semi-criminal or entirely criminal. — Printed In Ron Paul’s Newsletter (but not written by him)

    Opinion polls consistently show that only about 5 percent of blacks have sensible political opinions, i.e. support the free market, individual liberty and the end of welfare and affirmative action. — Printed In Ron Paul’s Newsletter (but not written by him)

    The notion of a rigid separation between church and state has no basis in either the text of the Constitution or the writings of our Founding Fathers. On the contrary, our Founders’ political views were strongly informed by their religious beliefs. — Ron Paul

    The Founding Fathers envisioned a robustly Christian yet religiously tolerant America, with churches serving as vital institutions that would eclipse the state in importance. — Ron Paul

    Through perverse court decisions and years of cultural indoctrination, the elitist, secular Left has managed to convince many in our nation that religion must be driven from public view. The justification is always that someone, somewhere, might possibly be offended or feel uncomfortable living in the midst of a largely Christian society, so all must yield to the fragile sensibilities of the few. The ultimate goal of the anti-religious elites is to transform America into a completely secular nation, a nation that is legally and culturally biased against Christianity. — Ron Paul

  45. Kludge

    [re=15090]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: But where did you cite any legislature reflecting this? Has Dr. Paul EVER legislated on what has been spun as his beliefs? No. Dr. Paul has been legislating on behalf of all individuals everywhere and in every situation.

  46. Sabre_Justice

    [re=15092]Kludge[/re]: What does Ron Paul legislate for black albino amputee homosexual transvestite alcoholic dolphins?

    My friends are curious.

  47. Q

    [re=14986]Kludge[/re]: Same difference. They are Ying & Yang and cannot exist without one another. OmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmyGod.

  48. Kludge

    [re=15097]Sabre_Justice[/re]: Lower taxes resulting in less need for black albino amputee homosexual transvestite alcoholic dolphins as we will be able to have ample food sources. Producers produce only because they have incentive to.

    Abolishing prohibitionist laws will also allow the alcoholic dolphin to purchase alcohol, a greater variety of alcohol, and at a much lower price, though I admit that may be to the detriment of the dolphin.

  49. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15092]Kludge[/re]: The fucking guy voted has voted symbolic measures as unconstitutional. You would say this is a waste of tax-payer money You expect me to eat that horse-shit? It’s about character. He’s a politician. 2+2=5 (in Paulville). Why don’t you move there, by the way? Here you are.
    In April of 1999, Congress held a vote on whether or not to award a Congressional Gold Medal to Rosa Parks. Congress was unanimously in favor of the award, with only one exception: Ron Paul. In order to justify his lone nay vote, Ron Paul delivered a speech, where he made the following arguments:

    1. That the medal was tax-payer funded, and that we should look for alternative sources for funding.
    2. That the medal was was unconstitutional
    3. That the medal goes against the spirit of Rosa Parks.

    Here’s a detailed voting record:
    http://www.votesmart.org/voting_category.php?can_id=296

    How many bills has he gotten out of committee????? Oh.
    Good luck with the rEVOLution!!!!!!!!!!1!

  50. masterdebater

    [re=14986]Kludge[/re]: Ah, how refreshing. An ode to selfishness! Don’t worry, I’m sure this a trick of some kind. A false, low, disinformation campaign. No one whose philosophy is based on the glorification of self, could possibly abandon a crusade as noble as libertarianism. That would be…selfish.

  51. FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=15106]Kludge[/re]: Then tell your buddha to stop putting in for millions for Shrimp research in his district. He’s the 4th worst purveyor of earmarks. Voting against it is hypocrisy considering that he puts them in bills that will pass.

  52. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15136]FunkyPalmettoBug[/re]: So right. Worst ear-marker in Texas, and yet still hating government??? Huh.

  53. Kludge

    He put forth what his district asked for to represent them. He presented them, argued against them and voted them down. Stop giving me MSM talking points and give me positions and platforms you disagree with. Pretend you don’t read Wonkette every day.

  54. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15152]Kludge[/re]: Excellent argument. I’ll give you something equally as meaningful-

    “douche.”

  55. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15152]Kludge[/re]: Oh and that means that he’s not really an “innovator” right? Good> just wondering.

    Good luck with Barr. You wish to elaborate on that one too?

  56. FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=15139]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Worst earmarker in Texas is like being called the biggest drunk in South Carolina lol.

    [re=15152]Kludge[/re]: Horseshit. If he’s willing to vote against expanding investigations into hate crimes on the grounds that its wasteful spending(which would have cost about 1-2 million per year), he should have the spine to tell his constituents that he won’t put in for 11 million for wild shrimp farming research. Voting against it is him trying to have things both ways. He’s no different than any other politico, he’s just trying to pretend he’s Cato the Younger(even though many of his views go against what the founders wrote).

    And I’ve been through what I disagree with here with some of your fellow retards. I have no desire to rehash your moronic political guru and his obviously failures to understand the basics about the world.

  57. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15162]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I know I do this all the time- but
    rEVOLution!!!!!!!!!1!

  58. Kludge

    Do remember us when Rome burns to the ground, I will be leaving the country within the next couple years, this society is a joke, and a damn cruel one at that. You have spat on what was so graciously given by your ancestors. You follow satire news as though it’s real, unable to distinguish the difference. Your rhetoric is empty and your unity is detrimental only to yourselves. Shrug it off, give me your “don’t let the door hit you on the way out”s and your good riddances, but Jesus – at least research your ideologies and candidates more thoroughly, your countrymen deserve at least that.

    I’m moving to Cyprus (Greek-side) by 2012 =), enjoy your ghetto.

  59. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15172]Kludge[/re]: If by Greece you mean “Outside,” I wish you the best of luck.

  60. disgustedcitizen

    At 60 years old, I have a senior member myself, but I’ll be damned if I can get the thing to type.

  61. TGY

    Bah, he wants to foist RP off on us and then move to Cyprus. It’s the political equivalent of lighting a flaming bag of poo on somebody’s doorstep and then running away.

  62. capitol-hillbilly

    [re=15172]Kludge[/re]: my sister lived in Cyprus for years. did you know they have power outages all the time? that means you can’t watch “Ow, My Balls” on TV. just a word to the wise …

  63. PissedOff

    You McLidiots and Obamaroids don’t have a clue. Read the constitution, you might learn something. Oh that might cut into your Wal-Mart or American Idol time, so never mind.

  64. sham69

    I was at a party last weekend and a Paultard would not STFU. He ended up getting his ass beat, if you call getting up in someone’s face and being dropped with one punch a fight. Paultards are wussies, and Ron Paul and his horde of pretentious, weak, lily-white blowhards don’t have what it takes to survive in the real world. As for that dork that is moving to Cyprus, the people there have a very low tolerance for pedantic American assholes, so enjoy getting constantly bitch-slapped over there, dumbass.

  65. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=15172]Kludge[/re]: Quite a story. A Native American Cypriot Expat. You ought to write a book.

    And I’d like to clarify something for your Paul-addled brain; We don’t “follow satire news as though it’s real”, we satirize real news to help stay sane. You know, humor? It’s something paultards would benefit from, if you weren’t all totally loony-toons already.

    So enjoy your government-free Cypriot lifestyle. I suspect you’ll find it a little more difficult than your imagination has lead you to believe. I have not met a single paultard yet that truly understood that “freedom” of government means you work like a bitch to stay alive, and you ultimately die horribly and alone. It’s really easy to imagine yourself as a rugged individualist here in the US. Enjoy doing it in Cyprus. You’ll be back in your Mom’s basement inside 3 months.

  66. Gopherit v2.0

    [re=15286]PissedOff[/re]: Let me offer you a bit of advice I’ve given oh-so-many other Paultards who’ve come here to say (surprise!) exactly what you’ve said. A great philosopher named Calvin once anticipated the advent of the Paultards.
    To quote the master:” Reading is easy when you don’t sweat comprehension.” Try thinking things through, instead of parroting the bullshit you hear from the rest of your paultard coven.

  67. Darehead

    [re=15357]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: “Quite a story. A Native American Cypriot Expat. You ought to write a book.”
    Forgot, “agnostic,” and not a troofer.

    Yeah. And da dude would never come out and say shit like that unless he was really concerned that we take them for anything but the same ol’ same ol’ same ol’ stereotypes, the Wonkette and Paultard.

  68. Darehead

    [re=15382]Darehead[/re]: wtf? this is weird but I didn’t write the last line of the above post.

  69. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=15286]PissedOff[/re]: I would respond to you, but like every Wonkette reader, I shop at Walmart and only watch American Idol (dumbass). I think your looking for——–>
    Somewhere else. Go there now.

  70. asgardshill

    [re=15287]sham69[/re]: I have found that those who play butch tough guys on the Internet and bray the loudest about the asses they’ve allegedly kicked (or seen kicked) are invariably the same ones whose own non-virtual asses are most often in the crosshairs themselves. So c’mon, fess up – which Paultard beat you like a rented mule behind that rest stop bathroom? Were teabagging and swirlies somehow involved? And most importantly, did you persuade him to make you one of his MySpace friends so you could have a Happy Ending at least online? C’mon, you can tell us – we won’t laugh – much.

  71. FunkyPalmettoBug

    [re=15172]Kludge[/re]: Please renounce your citizenship on the way out hump. I don’t want you slinking back in when you figure out the Europe and the world aren’t remotely as “free” as we are.

  72. PissedOff

    Gopherit v2.0: So are you a McLidiot or an Obamaroid? Why don’t you enlighten me as to what your candidate is going to do and the plan to do it. Just what I thought, more political rhetoric from a dumb-ass.

    shortsshortsshort – You just sound like a punk-assed bitch to me. I’ll bet you probably Wankedette to American Idol.

  73. zhubajie

    “Darehead: Seriously? Any pile of shit can get a PhD now? WTF?”

    Sure; you buy them from the Universal Life Church! Wait for the 2-for-oneChurch!
    sale!

  74. shortsshortsshorts

    [re=16252]PissedOff[/re]: Keep throwing punches in the air. I’m sure you’ll connect with something, maybe even, your wife, again. Paultard.

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