Wonkette
This election year might be the most exciting in generations, but that doesn’t mean the conventions won’t be as boring as ever! Now that Hillary Clinton has robbed us of our last, greatest chance for a Convention Floor Fight featuring a shirtless Ted Kennedy jello wrestling a be-thonged Harold Ickes, Democratic conventioneers will be forced to spend their endless days milling around committee meetings and bitching about their chillblains. And the next weekend, Republicans will be too wasted from partying till 4am every night to do anything but golf-clap through Mitt Romney’s vice presidential victory speech. MSNBC will be there to cover all this dull boringness for literally 20 hours a day. This will be journalism’s own Bataan Death March. Will Chris Matthews make it out alive? [New York Times]
Does this mean we get to see intensive coverage of the Paultard convention?
I’m going there! Den-ver, Den-ver, Den-ver! But I would rather drink till 4 a.m. than get chilblains…do I need to switch parties?
Oh yay. ABC is bringing back Charlie and Georgie, whose insightful political commentary will be as riveting as a bad ep of Ren and Stimpy. And I, for one, would pay Gwen Ifill to lob spitballs from her skybox perch as Hillary enters the hall.
Rumor has it that the Repub Convention will have to be over by 6p every night so that McCain and his delegates can make bed time.
Plus they will break at 4:00 pm to catch the Early Bird Special at Denny’s.
That is the GREATEST picture of Tweety I’ve ever seen, he looks still drunk after being gang-banged by everyone at MSNBC, except of course for Rachel…(and Keith)
Cicada: Red carpet coverage will begin at 6:00 a.m. and continue until they realize nobody is watching at 6:01.
…MSNBC should set up a hidden bathroom cam!
“Eighty hours?”
OK, but after watching the first forty, do we get time and half for overtime? It’d help to pay for all the extra Mooseheads I’m gonna drink.
[I was gonna admit that I drink Steamwhistle, but then you'd all know that I'm a premium-pilsner-swilling, Volvo-driving, Birkenstock-wearing, tree-hugging, dope-smoking elitist. And that would reflect poorly on Hopey, so it's...um, Moosehead. Yeah, I'll be drinking... *Moosehead.*]
Poor Thing No wonder he’s so passionate about politics, he hasn’t been laid STILL…
shortsshortsshorts: …20 hours a day of watching hundreds(if not thousands) of drunk Republicans, sounds like a recipe for at least 5 “Uh-Oh!” moments caught on camera!!! Get your TIVO ready!!!
It’s these kinds of journalistic excursions that remind us how much we need a Hunter S. Thompson. I guess Tweety in just-released-hostage mode will have to suffice.
You make fun of it, but isn’t Ken also promising to attend these ghastly charades? At least he’ll be open about how drunk he is.
AngryBlakGuy: Yes, the will “mis-speak” and “show poor judgement”..
This is gonna be bigger than Katie Couric’s colonoscopy. More exciting than a Ring Cycle marathon. And drunker than Mel Gibson on a Saturday night.
Does this include the live surveillance cam feeds from the fleshpits of Saint Paul? BTW, I trust Wonkette be covering this 7×24, ja?
AngryBlakGuy: Yeah, the RNC coverage will just be an all-day “To Catch a Predator” marathon.
If Elizabeth Kucinich doesn’t show up to brighten up the proceedings, we’re all doomed.
freakishlystrong: definitely qualifies him to be featured at http://menwholooklikeoldlesbians.blogspot.com/
Someone tell Chris that the guys from Pi Kappa Alpha no longer want to party with him; he’s freaking them out or something.
So Wonkette will be sending its crack blogging team to both conventions? Can we expect blogging from the floor while people on the podium jabber on and on? And how to cover the Larry Craig Memorial Stall? (I assume will require a wide stance). I thought the Democrats would be doing the drinking, but this year suspect the Republicans will really be hitting the sauce.
And not one single minute of any of it will be interesting. Or watched by most of the population of the United States.
Is the person in the photo Chris Matthews? OMG! He looks like a genuine child molester.
80 hours of Tweety? God help us all.
It seems Jesus’ General has found a monument to toilet sex in Second Life. So maybe the airport is not as high a priority.
Is that Andy Warhol without his glasses? I thought he was dead.
These broadcasts passing through human bodies will create spontaneous tape worms consuming all the illea there are.
Will Chris Matthews make it out alive?
One thing is certain: It’s going to be him, or us.
Sara K. Smith,
Ha ha! I knew one day Chris Matthews would get his. Harold Ickes sure earned his keep in the Clinton campaign getting all those superdelegates for Hillary and all. I wonder how much Ickes and Penn got paid from the Obama campaign?
80 hours. Well, you can count me out. Maybe 80 hours will help unite Democrats into a coma of such magnitude that Midge McCain can actually win? If you don’t have ADD, you will by the end of this snoozer. 40 hours of it will be Rep. Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean. I’m from Pelosi’s district and you would think I’d be more supportive of her. But, her and I have very different definitions of the word “neutral.” (Mine can be found in the dictionary.)
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark