When young corporate Republican Bobby Jindal was sworn in as Louisiana’s governor five months ago, the national press noted that he was the child of Punjabi Indians who had just moved to America, and that he was young for a governor (36). All very interesting, blah blah, but did you know he’s a wacky Extremist Catholic (like Mel Gibson!) who performs exorcisms on people to rid them of The Demons From Hell?
Jindal’s family is Hindu, as you might expect, but Bobby — who took his pretend American name from the extremist sitcom character “Bobby Brady” — turned to strange Louisiana beliefs in high school and became a Weird Catholic who questions whether Protestants truly worship Jesus.
Better yet, Bobby is like a 36-year-old nerd version of the spooky movie priests in The Exorcist.
In a freakish essay he wrote for the “red meat of Catholicism” journal called New Oxford Review in 1994, Jindal writes about some gal he was kind of half-dating, but he wouldn’t have sex with her because he is a Christian Nut, but he insists on dating her because these dudes are all about self-torture and ruining the University Experience (of having lots of sex) and making women uncomfortable, and she finally freaks out and stomps out during their date at some concert — Christian a cappella, of course (no demon African drums) — and he chases after her and she’s crying so OBVIOUSLY SHE HAS BEEN POSSESSED BY A DEMON, FROM HELL.
So then Bobby and his dingbat “Campus Crusade For Christ” loser friends decided they would have an Exorcism and started chanting and waving crucifixes over her and screaming about Mother Mary and all ganged up on her and wouldn’t let her leave and the gal freaked out, the end.
Bobby Jindal is going to be an awesome pretend vice president for John McCain. Maybe Bobby will even get the demons out of Cindy, wink wink.
Jindal and Satan [Political Wire]
Is Bobby Jindal — Who May Be On McCain’s Veep Shortlist — An Exorcist? [TPM]