Wonkette
Famous blogger Markos “Kos” of the Daily Kos liberal website claims that this is Barack Obama’s birth certificate, which he obtained by asking the campaign. As you can see, it is clearly false: his race is not “African” as this crap-ument suggests, it is “Muslim,” and the Wingnuts live another day. [Daily Kos]
I WAS ALSO BORN AT 7:24 p.m.! (Uncontrollable awe). AND I’m not black either!
Woohoo! Give me ten minutes with Photoshop, and I’ll be on my way to owning my very own Barack Obama driver’s license!
His mother’s name is Stanley? Does Barack have two daddies?
Just to pre-empt Securacom: “You all need to Google “Hydras In The Holy Land” on Google video to learn the truth about Barack WHO- ssein and how he’s duping the sheeple into believing that he isn’t in leauge with Osama. (Obama-Osama… HMMMmmmm… Are they brothers?) It’s an awesome video that this guy named Randy who I know from X-Box 360 made. It has the same theme music as GOB from arrested development. Also, ominous camera moves over irrelevant stock photography! How could you resist?”
He was born to a virgin.
Hey Faux Newz and Michelle “Po-City Boom Boom Girl” Malkin. There is no mention of Baby Mama on this birth certificate!
shortsshortsshorts: …I knew it! You’re Barry’s evil twin!!
Hawaii and its damn liberal pro miscegenation laws…
ronaldpagan: He was never born. He has always been.
But this still doesn’t solve the problem of Hawaii not being in the US, making Obama not a US citizen. But never fear, Ed’s brilliant troops are getting the word out in between trying to figure out how to operate a website and saying how Democrats are SO bad and they would never vote for them and they are pissed that they voted for Hillary in the primary and she lost.
RaptorAvatar: Love it.
Now McCain will have to release the stone tablet that was engraved at the time of his birth.
Honolulu? Isn’t that where the japs attacked? Is Obama a sleeper cell activated too late to change the fate of the war?
So he was a live birth, and didn’t hatch from a bejeweled egg delivered on a pillow of clouds borne by pixies? What a letdown.
Sex:
Yes Pl-eease…
Canmon (the Inadequate): They didn’t do birth certificates immediately back then. They waited for a week to see if the baby would live. I suspect he was a bastard child, or a replacement child after the real baby kicked the bucket. Usurping cunt.
Born on the 4th, but filed on the 8th!
What happened on the 5th, 6th, and 7th?!?! The public demands to know!
( Tech note - Wonkette’s comment system makes Opera cry. :{ )
ForeignSickSpecialist: speaking of which, today is Loving Day.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loving_Day
Thank you Mildred and Richard.
freakishlystrong:
Sex: as often as possible
…other famous things that have happened on August 4th!
http://www.brainyhistory.com/days/august_4.html
Doglessliberal: I need to go out and get me some of teh interracial sex!
Barry also shares a birthday with Alberto Gonzales and Helen Thomas. Random ‘eh?
This must be a fogery. Dunham doesn’t sound like a very Islamic name.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: a fitting and just celebration of this holiday. Go forth!
Little known fact: “Ouau” is Hawaiian for “Manger”. So run with that. Though I suspect the Three Kings were probably wearing colorful shirts.
KevoTron: I also am left-handed and born in August, and I voted for Hopey, so maybe I am Muslim and African and did not know it.
AngryBlakGuy: The best is at the top of the list: August 4, 1997 “Keenan Ivory Wayan Show,” premieres on Fox TV
Am I the only one who noticed that he’s a “Jr.”? His dad had the same name and I never hear on newscasts “Barack Obama, Jr.” or “Barack Obama the Second”. Granted, we never hear “John McCain the Fourteenth”, but with the state of the education system here in the US, most people can’t count past the number 7 or remember John McCain preceded the Renaissance.
Hey, the birth certificate was filed five days after the actual birth. I’m just waiting to hear the Republican conspiracy theories about what happened in those five days.
(I was driving around for work yesterday, and got a chance to listen to conservative talk radio, apparently many of their callers are convinced that Barack is the anti-Christ. The fact that the hosts had to take this seriously just tells you how delusional the far right has become.)
Wait a sec, isn’t Stanley Ann the name of Muhammad’s sister? This proves Barry’s a muslim, IT PROVES IT!!!!!
Doglessliberal: Yes, I believe you are. You know who else is left handed? Michelle Malkin. Don’t ask me how I know that because it’s kind of creepy.
So that should make you a Muslim, Afrocan that’s also the daughter of Filipino hooker. This is all very confusing.
This document couldn’t carry a stronger stench of terroristicness if it was printed on a keffiyeh.
The Real JR Revisted: Puerto Rican shirts, I’m sure.
KevoTron: I want that to be the only thing I ever have in common with her. Please let it be.
Citizen Kang: Of course we know he’s a Jr. If he weren’t, then this prophetic anagram would never work out:
Barack Hussein Obama, Jr. = Jesus Maharani Back, Bro.
just for fun, check out this gallery
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/070323obama-early-photogallery,1,6857511.photogallery?index=3
Our BHO is a “the second”, a two-sticker!? As opposed to the more proletarian “junior”? This is hard proof that the man was a born elitist.
Doglessliberal: I couldn’t agree more. I have a bad habit of cruising her blog to read the crazy ass comments. They’re on a roll over there today.
Here’s a couple of choice quotes:
Bad news libs, you don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t say. Easily offended? toughen up, buttercup.
True, 30 pcs…I can tell you that when I was in college, I broke up with a girl because of (among other reasons) her staunch support for The Worst Man to Ever Be President. In pleading for me to come back, well…she didn’t exactly cast any dispersions on the ability of conservatives to please liberal women.
I have a hunch the breakup was something like her saying “I think we should be friends” then never returning his calls and he ultimately leaves her a voicemail at 2 AM saying “it’s over you commie, hippie (burp) slut!”
AxmxZ: oh dear. It is also: josh, a bareback anus rim
KevoTron: Can we slip birth control into their water somehow?
When will we be seeing the Papyrus Scrolls that are the McCain certificate? I want to read all of the “begats”.
Doglessliberal: Either that or arsenic. Something else I love are their bizarre screen names. 30 pieces of silver (WTF does that mean?) On-My-Soapbox, Underseige (misspelled), and my personal favorite HateLibs (bitter much?)
Doglessliberal: We should ask this guy what his relationship to Obama is.
AxmxZ: he cannot have one. He is too stoooopid. Unless he is a terrorist and this is his cleverly-cultivated cover identity.
Doglessliberal: How about this one:
Barack Hussein Obama Jr. = Jesus A Rabbi Mocha Nark
now, now. i’m sure many here sounded like the “commenters” when we were 12: the same rigorous logic, etc. Is it bad that I find their paranoia comical?
AxmxZ: Barack Hussein Obama Jr = major arab sink suche
KevoTron: Let’s see, “suche,” “suche”… ah, here it is. “Suche: n. The intense desire to be witty thwarted by FAIL.”
KevoTron: this would really do him in:
Barbarous, mean hijacks.
SayItWithWookies: Well his maternal grandfather really wanted to have a boy. So he named is daughter Stanley (see “Dreams from My Father”.) Super!!?!
naveed: Yes, lots of good tidbits in that book.
Doglessliberal: I thought I won the contest but that’s pretty good.AxmxZ: Dictionary.com lists Suche as a small village in Eastern Slovakia. The web of lies is getting quite tangled around this shifty Hussein fellow.
Doglessliberal: Nice! Or: Barbarian Ass Much Joke
Lionel Hutz Esq.: It’s already started– some troll on TPM has already announced that the certificate is a forgery.
KevoTron: Eastern Slovakia? But I thought he was a Latte-vian! Tristo hrmenych.
As long as he wasn’t “born again”, I don’t give a shit what it says on his birth certificate.
I wish that I were an Elitist muslim with a birth certificate made from preemo Maui Zowie. But, no, I’ll never get one of those. I’m stuck with a certificate manufactured from fuckin’ recycled dryer lint. Fuck you, Barry.
McCain’s shows he was born in the terminal part of the large intestine: the anal canal.
To be sure, it is situated between Costa Rectum and Columbanus, below the level of the Elvic Impersonator, in the anal triangle of petroleum in between the right and left ischiorectal fossae.
He was born downwards and backwards and surrounded by inner involuntary and outer voluntary sphincters which keep the lumen closed in the form of an anteroposterior slit.
The anal canal is divided into the halves and the half mores. The halves have longitudinal folds or elevations of tunica moolah. Its moolah lines the simple columnar pockets of the epithelium. The half mores of the anal canal are lined by stratified squamous epithelia that blend with the skin for a blanched “white” outwardly appearance.
A whitish line called Clinton’s white line indicates the junction between simple columnar epithelium and stratified squamous epithelium.
Doglessliberal: OMG #2 and #3 are the cutest things ever! I’m dyyying! This should get its own thread.
Also #4 looks exactly like he does now. It’s bizarre.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/070323obama-early-photogallery,1,6857511.photogallery?index=3
Where I come from (R.I.) a Town Clerk signs the certificate AND embosses it with the government seal. BHO’s is blank.
ronaldpagan: #16 clearly depicts Barry hooking his way through college.
ronaldpagan: Yeah, well number 11 isn’t so cute. His nickname while on the Junior Varsity Basketball team? Barry [i]O’Bomber[/i]. In other words, he has been an Islamic sleeper te’errist since he was in [i]high school[/i].
Showbiz Kazy: Huh. I don’t know how to do tags.
President Barack Obama = Democrat babe air spank
I do love me an air spank, especially when it’s hot.
the stars are in barry’s favor:
http://astro-software.com/cgi-bin/astro/page01?name=Barak%20Obama&firstname=&birthplace=Honolulu,%20HI&lang=en&dformat=1&date=3/8/1961&time=19:24&country=1&state=15&adjust=10.00&long=157.51&lat=21.18
Alert! Alert! I have discovered what they were TRYING to hide behind that big black redaction box near the upper right corner of the document:
http://frontalot.untimelydeath.com/idiocy/obama_birthcert_UNCENSORED!.png
Did they have “Helevetica” or “Ariel” fonts back in 1961?
I think - NOT!!!
Now NARAL is going to take back their endorsement, since it turns out Obama’s mother was pro-life.
vicuna: An air spank is how you make the sound of one hand spanking a newly minted black bottom.
ronaldpagan:
Not the “Second Coming” theory again!
Sincerely and respectfully,
Mr-Clark
“ANY ALTERATIONS INVALIDATE THIS CERTIFICATE.”
As if this was a valid Birth Certificate in the first place. What a fake. Terrorist.
I thought Mooslims hatched out of leathery eggs at the summer solstice. This is an obvious fake.
Wnen I am President I will gather all my brothers, we will throw all those dam Mexicans out,the all you crackers will be the bitch!