Meet The Cow Porn Judge!

Once upon a time a man kept a stash of comically dirty photos on his web site, and then he blamed it all on his son after people discovered they could access pubic-hair shaving instructionals and similarly "shocking" images from this site. Who is this magical dingus who produced the very worst excuse for hosting a porn stash since Mark Penn told his mom "I'm keeping that stack ofJuggsfor a friend"? Why, it is Chief Judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit and Reagan appointee Alex Kozinski, who happens to be presiding over an obscenity trial.

Actually, he has now suspended the trial for 48 hours while he figures out what to do with his own ample archive, which features the sort of naughtiness you'd find in the dirty birthday cards section at Spencer Gifts:  

• A photo of naked women on all fours painted to look like cows.

• A video of a half-dressed man cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal.

• A slide show striptease featuring a transsexual.

• A folder that contained a series of photos of women's crotches in snug-fitting clothing or underwear.

• A photo of a young man bent over in a chair and performing fellatio on himself.

• A graphic step-by-step pictorial in which a woman is seen shaving her pubic hair.

YAWN. Kozinski needs to take notes from the guy whose trial he's supposed to preside over: a fetish-porn maker whose hardcore videos featuring beastiality and shit hijinks has made it difficult to find a jury willing to sit through hours of nauseating "evidence review."

Also, Judge Kozinski's not-so-secret cow porn site also hosted several MP3s of Weird Al Yankovic songs. It is for this last offense that he should be hanged.

 Upcoming trial will see hours of hard-core fetish pornography [Los Angeles Times]

 Judge suspends L.A. obscenity trial after conceding his website had sexual images [Los Angeles Times]