• February 14, 2012

It is no surprise that John McCain loves Dick Cheney, ever since their halcyon days of fighting in the Vietnam War, without being captured, saving Jesus from the Commies, together, while on heroin. Just kidding, they were both in some form of jail during Vietnam — one for DWIs, the other for being a failed pilot. But would McCain “use” Cheney in his fake administration, or would he be so foolish as to dismiss Our Vice President’s cosmic approval ratings?

Keep Dick Cheney around? EFF YEAH BITCHZ:

In an interview he gave to the Weekly Standard’s Stephen Hayes in 2006 for Hayes’s biography, “Cheney: The Untold Story of America’s Most Powerful and Controversial Vice President,” McCain said: “I will strongly assert to you that he has been of enormous help to this president of the United States.”

Going further, McCain even told Hayes in comments heretofore unpublished that he’d consider Cheney for an administration post.

Asked whether he’d be interested in Cheney had the vice president not already have served under Bush for two terms, McCain said: “I don’t know if I would want him as vice president. He and I have the same strengths. But to serve in other capacities? Hell, yeah.”

So it’s settled: Dick Cheney will be McCain’s *black* vice president. Like anyone didn’t see this coming!

What should McCain do about Cheney? [Politico]

{ 47 comments }

Son of Mark Penn June 11, 2008 at 2:11 pm

McCain is the gift that keeps on gaffing.

TGY June 11, 2008 at 2:11 pm

Way to distance yourself from the W. admin, Johnny! Heck of a job. *facepalm*

Next time, if someone asks you about Cheney, you say “Actually, I don’t know Dick.”

Gopherit v2.0 June 11, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Who would have thought the craving for the blood of the innocent would be considered a strength?

AngryBlakGuy June 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm

…maybe he could be our envoy to the U.N.?

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm

No doubts now. In the Star Wars Equivalent universe, Walnuts is a less racial sterotype-ish, older, diapar wearing and more buffoonish Jar Jar Binks.

To borrow someone’s creative line:
Help us, Barry Obama Kenobi. Help us!

tunamelt June 11, 2008 at 2:14 pm

It makes sense that they go back, seeing as Cheney is basically the undead, and McCain is Methuselah.

Brutus Harlot June 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

I think Cheney wants to go back to Halliburton and cash in on his work for the past 8 years.

HollowBrain June 11, 2008 at 2:17 pm

Gooooo McCheney!

Humble Pi June 11, 2008 at 2:18 pm

Actually, this may be a blessing in disguise. If Cheney is McAncient’s VP, then we won’t have to declare war on Iran and cancel the elections. Instead we can bomb, bomb, bomb Iran after the election. It win-win!

Nasara June 11, 2008 at 2:18 pm

This could be McCain’s one chance to sure up his vote with the key demographic of people who sound like a duck.

AngryBlakGuy June 11, 2008 at 2:19 pm

…isn’t Dick Cheney the fist vice president to have an approval rating that falls within the margin of error?

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 2:20 pm

[re=13380]Brutus Harlot[/re]: Definitely. Without a doubt. Yes.

The boy deserves the big bucks. He didn’t fuck up the economy and fuel a war machine to be a public “servant.” Time to party.

Servo June 11, 2008 at 2:20 pm

Maybe John-boy will invite Dickey on a hunting trip.

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

[re=13371]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: John Bolton would finally look diplomatic by comparison.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 11, 2008 at 2:21 pm

So, McCain isn’t running for W’s third term, he is running for Cheney’s.

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2008 at 2:24 pm

McCain said: “I will strongly assert to you that he has been of enormous help to this president of the United States.”
How true. It’s not widely known, but if Cheney hadn’t been there in 2003, Bush would’ve ended up invading Wisconsin.

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2008 at 2:24 pm

[re=13389]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:
Heh.

Gopherit v2.0 June 11, 2008 at 2:26 pm

By the way, Jim….I’m a little disappointed with the title. Wouldn’t “John McCain Loves Him Some Dick” been more in tune with journalistic standards?

sezme June 11, 2008 at 2:33 pm

Same strengths? What exactly is John McCain missing here? I mean even most hard core republicans would admit that Big Dick’s biggest strength is teh evil. Is that what John McCain says he also has strength in? Shooting friends in the face? Starting wars for no good reason? Inhabiting America’s night terrors?

Um… 4 more years!

Serolf Divad June 11, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=13397]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:

I kinda like: “A Dick around his neck” or maybe “A Dick in his side.”

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2008 at 2:36 pm

[re=13397]Gopherit v2.0[/re]:
“John McCain Rides Dick to Victory”

Mediahohoho June 11, 2008 at 2:36 pm

Oh jeez. He’s finally putting him in charge of wet work.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 2:41 pm

[re=13397]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: “A dick to support his WALNUTS.”

AxmxZ June 11, 2008 at 2:52 pm

How about the simple and straight-forward “John McCain wants more Dick service”?

Securacom-wtc June 11, 2008 at 2:54 pm

http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/february2008/020708_never_tortured.htm
A former Vietnam veteran with top secret clearance says he has personally spoken to numerous POW’s who dispute John McCain’s claim that he refused to provide information after he was captured and tortured in Hanoi, saying that in fact McCain’s code-name was “Songbird” because of his willingness to tell all to avoid torture. Jack McLamb served nine years in secret operations in Cambodia and other nations before going on to become one of the most highly decorated police officer’s in Phoenix history, winning police officer of the year twice before taking a role as a hostage negotiator for the FBI. “I know a lot of Vietnam veterans and a few POW’s and all the POW’s that I’ve talked to over the years say that John McCain is a lying skunk,” McLamb told the Alex Jones Show.

USA’s Constitution and currency are being destroyed from within. How? Videos free on http://www.video.google.com 1) America: Freedom to Fascism, 2 hrs; 2)911 Justice, 18min; 3) The Clinton Chronicles, 1.7 hrs; 4) Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement, 2 hrs, 5) Terrorstorm: A History of False Flag Terror, 2 hrs 6) 911 Mysteries, 2 hrs; 7)The Creature from Jekyll Island, 1hr; 8)Orwell Rolls in His Grave, 2hrs; 9) The War on Democracy, 1.5 hrs; 10) The Energy Non-Crisis, 1 hr; 11)Iraq for Sale 1.2 hr; 12) Zeitgeist, 2 hrs; 13)Ring of Power, 2.5 hrs; 14)Bush link to JFK, 1.5 hrs; 15) The Century of the Self, 4 hrs; 16) Loose Change (2nd ed & Final cut) 2hrs each; 17)John Pilger: The New Rulers of the World; 18) The Money Masters: How International Bankers Gained Control of America, 3.5 hrs 19) Barack Obama CFR info 20) Global Warming or Global Governance 21) The Great Global Warming Swindle 22) Mercury, Autism and The Global Vaccine Agenda 23) The CIA, Mind Control and Satanism 24)George Hunt: UN UNCED Earth Summit 1992 (Population Reduction) 25) End of NAtions – EU Takeover 26) Washington, You’re Fired 27) Blackwater: America’s Private Army 28) Esoteric Agenda 29) Fiat Empire: Why the Federal Reserve Violates the U.S. COnstitution 30) The Revolution Will not be Televised [USA overthrow of Hugo Chavez] 31) One Nation Under Siege 32)Breaking The Silence – Truth and Lies in the War on Terror, by John Pilger(and all his documentaries) 33)Beyond Treason 1.5hrs

Johnny Zhivago June 11, 2008 at 2:59 pm

“He and I have the same strengths”

oh no…

WhatTheHeck June 11, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Under Johnny boy’s first term, Dickie will finally get the recognition
he so widely deserves, in the form of a commemorative postage stamp
with “Go Fuck yourself” on it.

His sentiment entirely.

AxmxZ June 11, 2008 at 3:04 pm

[re=13431]Securacom-wtc[/re]: Well, well, look what Dick dragged in…

The Station Manager June 11, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=13389]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Hey now, we all know that it has always been Cheney’s presidency.

The Station Manager June 11, 2008 at 3:08 pm

[re=13431]Securacom-wtc[/re]: SHUT THE FUCK UP. JESUS FUCK, MAN.

Doglessliberal June 11, 2008 at 3:11 pm

well, if Dick is VP again, and McCain dies and Cheney dies when his heart goes from the shock, per the rules of succession, we are then left with ……heh.

disgustedcitizen June 11, 2008 at 3:18 pm

“McCain said: “I don’t know if I would want him as vice president. He and I have the same strengths.”

Oh, Hell, yes! That is just what this poor battered country needs, TWO dicks running the gov’ment!

Reefpilot June 11, 2008 at 3:18 pm

I need that T-shirt. It’ll go great with my There’s a party in my pants-pants.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 3:24 pm

[re=13431]Securacom-wtc[/re]: Since you repeat yourself, so will I. YOU FUCKING SPAM BOT.

Buy a new douche and fuck yourself with it. When you are done, fuck yourself again. Finally, when you complete both of these tasks, fuck your mother again, and of course your uncle, who you readily fuck at the first opportunity. Good? Good.

You are an inbred fuck. Your family tree is not only a straight line, but resembles that of the Manson family. In this family, people fuck each other all the time for homicidal reasons. Case in point- you. You are a homicidal idiot. You were rejected by your class in high school, where you did not graduate, and you spent the rest of your days finding strange conspiracy theories to shit all over everyone else to alleviate your low self-esteem. If people like you just shut the fuck up and died, our world would be a better place.

Jobbotch June 11, 2008 at 3:40 pm

[re=13431]Securacom-wtc[/re]: If you don’t mind, I’m starting a band called John Pilger And All His Documentaries.

KeithinWash June 11, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Were can we find that t-shirt?

V572625694 June 11, 2008 at 4:20 pm

[re=13431]Securacom-wtc[/re]: “A former Vietnam veteran with top secret clearance”

What the fuck is a “former Vietnam veteran”? You’re either a Vietnam veteran or you’re not.

“…personally spoken to numerous POW’s who dispute John McCain’s claim that he refused to provide information after he was captured and tortured in Hanoi”

So this “former Vietnam veteran” heard it from a guy who heard it from a guy who is “one of the most highly decorated police officer’s in Phoenix history”. Phoenix! Wow! One of the most highly decorated!

Shit man, even your first sentence is so bad it’s not even wrong. Please cease existing. Or if you can’t manage that, go post on McCain’s Web site.

MrAgro June 11, 2008 at 4:24 pm

I thought the “Hell, yeah” part was a joke. Wow. He really said that.

edgydrifter June 11, 2008 at 4:42 pm

[re=13577]MrAgro[/re]: And the way he was leering when he said “Hell, yeah” is also a little unsettling, in the inappropriate-touching-uncle sort of way.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 4:46 pm

[re=13615]edgydrifter[/re]: You say unsettling, I say “Hell, yeah!”

Doglessliberal June 11, 2008 at 5:06 pm

[re=13622]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: and Dick says “So?”

edgydrifter June 11, 2008 at 6:15 pm

[re=13645]Doglessliberal[/re]: and Travis Childers said nothing.

regisgoat June 11, 2008 at 7:49 pm

I heard Cheney on the radio today, waving away some pesky journalist by grumbling that the reason why gas is heading for $5 a gallon is that some people want to take away our chance to burn American oil (or words to that effect) thus cancelling out American jobs. In other words, it’s all our fault for not drilling ANWAR and putting a fleet of oil rigs on the storm-wracked Pacific Coast.
While marveling at Dick’s ability to stay on message no matter what, I suddenly became interested in voodoo. If you concentrated hard enough, and channeled your most unprintably negative thoughts, would you get some results? Is this what is meant by finding spirituality?

1ofUS June 11, 2008 at 7:53 pm

[re=13645]Doglessliberal[/re]: Dick would never say so. He would have his people drag your sorry ass to a secret undisclosed bunker in one of his hollowed out mountains and then have your lips sewn together with a grappling hook. “Sew, how’s that?” he’d ask.

KTHXBAI June 11, 2008 at 7:54 pm

It’ll be a great team! If they’re ever having a state dinner and Angela Merkel starts to mouth off, Cheney can shoot her in the face while McCain blows up and calls her a trollop cunt.

1ofUS June 11, 2008 at 8:00 pm

[re=13801]regisgoat[/re]: Jim Williams in The Garden of Good and Evil was a great believer in telekinesis. How did it end for him? Hard time, as I recall.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 8:01 pm

[re=13721]edgydrifter[/re]: Perfect timing.

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