Winners never quit, and quitters never win.There is a terrible “wagon” in politics that people ride when they don’t want to have fun anymore. When you are on this wagon, you do not smoke or drink or do amphetamines or masturbate. It appears that Barack Obama, having ridden in the non-smoking section of this wagon, has fallen off it, and now he is a secret Cigarette Goblin again. Except because he is famous, and running for president, this is not a secret to anyone.

At a press conference in St. Louis, Barack Obama admitted he had fallen off the magical wagon once or twice, but it had been “months” since he’d had a “cigarette.” Of course, that’s just typical Washington non-speak for “five minutes ago I was huffing in the back of the campaign bus with a baker’s dozen of Communist male strippers while injecting meth into my eyeballs,” which means he is more qualified than ever to be president.

Obama Admits Smoking Cigarettes in Last Few Months [Political Radar]

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  1. So Jake Tapper was right!

    Well, this is obviously the scandal that’s going to bring down his candidacy. We’ll have to turn the nomination over to Hillary, because god forbid we run someone human for a change.

  2. eh, better than lying about it and sneaking out back for a smoke and getting caught on film that then appears on Faux News as proof that he is smoking meth-laced cigs 20 times a day.

    Or something like that.

  3. Up yours neo-cons. Imagine Barry walking into a debate with Walnuts or meeting with those middle eastern heathens looking like this!! Gangsta Barry.

  4. Well there you go — if we can’t believe him about his nonsmoking, how can we possibly believe him about not being a Muslim terrorist fist-bumper who wants to throw all the white men in work camps and all the white women — well, you know what’s gonna happen to all the white women. If we don’t hear this argument pushed seriously by someone before the end of the day, I will eat my hat.

  5. To hell with the candidate you want to have a beer with. I want to have a smoke with Barry, in a back alley behind a hotel convention center with the kitchen staff. Those guys know how to party.

  6. I’m OK with his smoking, really. I understand its a bitch to quit, especially during stressful times.

    What I can’t understand is why he’s gotta hang out in the front door to my business, smoking all the time so the clouds of (rich, mentholated) poisonous fumes fills up my lobby every time someone opens the damn door. And why the hell is dropping his fucking butts in the alcove of my front door?


    (Whew. I’ve been holding back on that one for awhile. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest, everybody. I’ll go sweep the sidewalk now. AGAIN!)

  7. [re=13287]obfuscator[/re]: Wow, when was Frank Sinatra reincarnated as a black dude? How’d the rest of the Rat Pack turn out?

  8. I know that picture is just a photohack, but damn it makes my panties tingle. It’s like he’s playing bass in Cannonball Adderley’s quintet or something, just takin’ a smoke break in the alley behind the Village Vanguard, circa 1963.

  9. [re=13263]AxmxZ[/re]: When you see Obama with a black eye at his next campaign appearance and he says it’s because he ran into a door, we’ll know the truth.

  10. [re=13286]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You’ve already been beaten to it. The comments on the ABC site are terrific. They’re all about how IF THIS IS HOW BARRY HUSSEIN OSAMA BIN OBAMA ACTS WHEN HE’S UNDER PRESSURE, WHAT WILL HE DO WHEN IRAN ATTACKS SHEBOYGAN? I think the best retort is this picture, which is worth a thousand words, motherfuckers:

  11. [re=13303]DangerousLiberal[/re]: They all turned out really well — except for Sammy, who’s even more confused now than ever. Now he kinda looks like a black albino Elvis Costello.

  12. Cigarettes are the chilled white wine of the trailer park poor. Therefore, I don’t blame Barry for trying to get down with the Bitters. But if he starts listening to Toby Keith, I’m voting for LaPierre.

  13. The comments on that ABC page are absolutely terrifying. Who are these people? They can’t all be different aliases belonging to Tony the Tiger, can they?

  14. Maybe he can switch to Virginia Slims to attrack the Hillary supporters.

    The interesting thing is that I heard a couple talking heads back during the Rev. Wright stuff suggest that maybe Obama needed a smoke to settle his nerves. Look what they have done.

    Still, I can’t help thinking that he looks so mature and cool in the photo. Makes me want to take a drag.

  15. [re=13334]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Yeah, I love that no one seems to recall that Granpa John smoked until he was 45. So basically, he and Barry quit at the exact same age, and yet cigarettes are somehow a strike only against Barry’s health.

    But those ABC commenters are totes right. I don’t smoke, but the photo makes me want to start. Then I could bum a cigarette off of him. We’d run into each other by the 57th and Stony Island underpass, outside of Powell’s Used Bookstore: myself going in with three dollars and crossed fingers, him coming out with a weathered volume of Baudelaire. He would light up. His skin would glow in the orange lights of the bridge…

  16. [re=13345]jagorev[/re]: I’m starting to think that none of us are real and are all just aspects of Tony the Tiger’s personality.

  17. How is this news? Bill Clinton smoked cigars dipped in tubby intern juice. That is a health hazard. And Bush has obviously been on crack for the past 7 years. Who does he think he is, the Mayor of DC? It’s better to Burn Out than Faye Dunaway, Barry— smoke on!

  18. [re=13345]jagorev[/re]: ”

    Are liberals BORN into denial, or do they learn it in some special liberal study program? SMOKING CIGARETTES IS DETRIMENTAL TO YOUR HEALTH!

    That said, why should America elect a President who is predisposed to polluting his lungs, cancer, heart disease, stroke, or any of the other things that SMOKING CIGARETTES causes?

    Get it now, liberals?”

    This comment is my favorite for many reasons. One- it denies the fact that McCain is (2)71 years of age, which means he will have Alzheimers and die, immediately, forever. It also suggests that lettuce-eating liberals don’t care about their health even with our “liberal study programs.” Also, the commenter obviously ate a dick for breakfast, which is arguably bad for the health, if you get teh AIDS.

  19. This does raise an interesting point. Candidates are surrounded by people pretty much 24/7. When do they find enough private time to jerk off? Well, I guess McCain’s a little too old for that kind of fun, but Barry seems like a pretty virile young stud. That’s gotta be hurtin a little.

  20. [re=13345]jagorev[/re]: ARGH. Please do not invoke He Who Cannot Be Named, I just don’t have the troll-baiting spirit in me today.

    You know, if it helps to make him relaxed, I don’t really care if the President wants an occasional cigarette, shot of tequilla, or blowjob, just don’t lie about it and it’s cool… (are you listening, Bill Clinton?!)

    Three Gay Members of Obama’s Church Murdered. Investigator close to case believes there’s more to the brutal murders than mainstream press is letting on. The bombshell may involve the murder of Donald Young, a 47-year-old choir master at former Rev. Jeremiah Wright’s Trinity United Church of Christ—the same congregation that Obama has attended for the past 20 years. Two other young black men that attended the same church—Larry Bland and Nate Spencer—were also murdered execution style with bullets to the backs of their heads—all within 40 days of each other, beginning in November 2007. All three were openly homosexual.

    USA’s Constitution and currency are being destroyed from within. How? Videos free on 1) America: Freedom to Fascism, 2 hrs; 2)911 Justice, 18min; 3) The Clinton Chronicles, 1.7 hrs; 4) Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement, 2 hrs, 5) Terrorstorm: A History of False Flag Terror, 2 hrs 6) 911 Mysteries, 2 hrs; 7)The Creature from Jekyll Island, 1hr; 8)Orwell Rolls in His Grave, 2hrs; 9) The War on Democracy, 1.5 hrs; 10) The Energy Non-Crisis, 1 hr; 11)Iraq for Sale 1.2 hr; 12) Zeitgeist, 2 hrs; 13)Ring of Power, 2.5 hrs; 14)Bush link to JFK, 1.5 hrs; 15) The Century of the Self, 4 hrs; 16) Loose Change (2nd ed & Final cut) 2hrs each; 17)John Pilger: The New Rulers of the World; 18) The Money Masters: How International Bankers Gained Control of America, 3.5 hrs 19) Barack Obama CFR info 20) Global Warming or Global Governance 21) The Great Global Warming Swindle 22) Mercury, Autism and The Global Vaccine Agenda 23) The CIA, Mind Control and Satanism 24)George Hunt: UN UNCED Earth Summit 1992 (Population Reduction) 25) End of NAtions – EU Takeover 26) Washington, You’re Fired 27) Blackwater: America’s Private Army 28) Esoteric Agenda 29) Fiat Empire: Why the Federal Reserve Violates the U.S. COnstitution 30) The Revolution Will not be Televised [USA overthrow of Hugo Chavez] 31) One Nation Under Siege 32)Breaking The Silence – Truth and Lies in the War on Terror, by John Pilger(and all his documentaries) 33)Beyond Treason 1.5hrs

  22. Look, it’s a campaign thing. Barry’s calculated that most bitters are hopelessly addicted to ciggies, so he’s making the point that he’s just like them. Besides, behind a cloud of white smoke, they may not notice he’s black.

  23. [re=13444]Securacom-wtc[/re]: Since you repeat yourself, so will I.

    Buy a new douche and fuck yourself with it. When you are done, fuck yourself again. Finally, when you complete both of these tasks, fuck your mother again, and of course your uncle, who you readily fuck at the first opportunity. Good? Good.

    You are an inbred fuck. Your family tree is not only a straight line, but resembles that of the Manson family. In this family, people fuck each other all the time for homicidal reasons. Case in point- you. You are a homicidal idiot. You were rejected by your class in high school, where you did not graduate, and you spent the rest of your days finding strange conspiracy theories to shit all over everyone else to alleviate your low self-esteem. If people like you just shut the fuck up and died, our world would be a better place.

  24. [re=13444]Securacom-wtc[/re]: Someone’s not taking their meds. That’s twice a day, Sec, and I guarantee the naughty voices will stop.

  25. [re=13370]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Man, does that bring back memories. My dad was a carpenter/constuction dude who rolled his own. Nothing better than the look on a 20-year-old’s face when the 55-year-old rolls one at lunch break. Now that’s a skill I can believe in!

  26. It’s not just smoking, folks, it’s TERRORIST KILLER OF THE MARLBORO MAN!!!!! Too bad that dipshit bubblehead ED Hill got fired from Fox for telling the truth. Now who will save our country!?!?!

  27. My favorite comment from that article:

    “Obama is weak, and he a also sets a very bad example for our children. Kids will justify smoking by pointing to Obama.”

    Because that’s what influences teens to start smoking. It’s not growing up in a smoking household, or their peers. It’s the President.

    I guess that explains why this dance craze is sweeping the nation’s 13-21 year-olds:

  28. [re=13444]Securacom-wtc[/re]: Can people be banned via IP address? Cuz it looks like this boring clown is just going to keep the re-register circus act going ad infinititum.

  29. All I worry about is getting the smoke smell out of the drapes
    in the White House, At least we have 8 years to figure it out.

  30. [re=13584]wonk_the_heck[/re]: They’re aren’t any drapes, Bill sold them off in 2000 at one of his “this shit doesn’t belong to me but now it belongs to you so give me some fucking money” auctions.

  31. [re=13584]wonk_the_heck[/re]: If the WHite House Maintenance staff can figure out how to Febreeze the Freebasing smell from Bush’s crack pipe out of the drapes, then I wouldn’t worry about some Newport Menthol Light 100’s in the crush-proof box (Black folks brand of choice.)

  32. Well, at least he’s not smoking a big, fat joint like a trollop, you cunts.

    …and @securacom-wtc…so, what are you saying? Is Barry having gay choir boys murdered, or was 9/11 an inside job? (one of those I actually believe) No, I’m not going to look at your stupid links. Life’s too short.

  33. [re=13444]Securacom-wtc[/re]: Eat a dick. Eat many dicks.

    (At first I thought this dude was a 9/11 truther but he is obv Larry Sinclair. Gay + dead = Obama is a gay murderer.)

  34. He is a laughable two faced fraud who back tracks and talks out of both sides of his mouth. This temporary pied piper wants to tell us when and what to eat, how much, what to drive, how often, how warm or cool to keep our homes and he wants socialized health care. If he is so weak he smokes and surrounds himself with ONLY unsavory nefarious characters, smoking does not surprise me, but it does sicken me.
    I feel so sorry for his daughters, they are going to pay for every one of his and his rabid wife’s sins.

  35. Jeebus if the two minutes of calm reflection the man gets from smoking a ciggie is the two minutes of calm reflection that, say, saves us from bombing Iran, I say give that man a cigarette.

  36. [re=13656]joyceann[/re]: Jesus forsake you years ago, sinner. And God fucking hates you (he told me personally). If Barry socializes health care, I hope you don’t get it, or your kids, and you can learn all about what so many fucking people deal with on a daily basis in these times, you fucking whack job. With any luck Reagan will come back and take you straight to hell with him. Eat a dick.

  37. That cig looks like an amazing photoshop job,or else someone’s been using Blingee…I guess it could have been a joint or a necklace with a dollar sign on it…

  38. [re=13656]joyceann[/re]: I’m unsavory and nefarious and Obama has never asked to be surrounded by me. But I appreciate the complete and utter insanity of your post.

  39. Wow damm the abc posts where almost the highlight of my day?

    Cue Simpsons “Think of the Children?” and also the ever popular Obama is a dirty rat bastard BLACK Muslim liar ok I glorified that last comment for all of my constituents in the south?

    God are that many Americans really that banal and stupid or is it just me.

  40. [re=13370]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I seriously want an investigation into what brand Obama smoked/smokes. Surely some of the reporters who covered him back in the day can enlighten us (at least to the menthol/regular question.

    And since (as was pointed out here ) he used to flick cigarette butts out the windows of cars, I think we can rule out hand-rolled.

  41. [re=13656]joyceann[/re]: LOL! Whoo-boy, you had me going… For a minute there, I almost thought you were seriously a bitter, paranoid and thoroughly delusional nutcase, good work.

    “two faced fraud” “temporary pied piper” “rabid wife” This shit is comedy GOLD. Do let us know where you copy/pasted this from, hcsfjm? Free Republic? An email from your methhead cracker Uncle in West Virginia?

  42. Hopey’s stock just jumped in the burley producing states of Kentucky, Tennessee, Indiana, North Carolina, Missouri, Ohio, Virginia, and West Virginia.

    “Which candidate would you prefer to light up with?” is the horse race question for the 2008 election cycle? Suds are so 2000/2–4…

  43. [re=13656]joyceann[/re]: You are so funny! I don’t know if you’re posting an ABC comment, an actual bitter, or just doing a fantastic impression of one, but please stick around!

    And 100% agreed that ScarJo is nefarious. Did you hear her Tom Waits covers?

  44. [re=13474]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: Some people are little more than herd animals, flocking together whenever the world becomes uncomfortable for any reason, seeking the comfort of those who agree with them, do not contradict them, and takes care of their emotions.

  45. [re=13357]AxmxZ[/re]: dude stop making me all tingly for chi/hyde park. i got to go west and you’re making me have romantic fantasies about this place???

    [re=13444]Securacom-wtc[/re]: fuck you. no, seriously fuck you.

    we’ve lost so many many children here in just the recent past months. on playgrounds and street-corners and schools and in their own homes. and they’ve been lost for the worst, most complicated, most hard core, most intractable reasons: social, criminal, political, economic.

    and mamma’s little meatheads like you dare reduce it to some political conspiracy? to barack o’bama’s CHURCH?

    ok i got one: i dare you big boy! get out of that basement and come spread your message on the ground. where it counts. not on the interwebs. i got some places.

    so yeah, if you want go there, just let me know.

  46. [re=13878]ladymacbeth[/re]: Sorry for the Hyde Park pr0n. I only make it back there occasionally, to exchange my library books. Was just there this last weekend, in fact. Saw the Hyde Park art fair. Got caught in a lukewarm summer downpour along with all the poor artists. Sprinted two blocks to Salonica, the Greek place where Kurt Vonnegut used to scribble away his afternoons. There were no tables left – lunch rush and torrential rain stuffed the place full – but there was a seat at the bar, so I ate there, sandwiched between an eternal lady grad student and a bluesman. Discussions turned quickly enough to Barack, lingering only briefly on the issues before turning to bedroom speculation. The bluesman was convinced that Barack was clearly the “adored” one in the marriage, not the “adorer,” and that he wouldn’t be surprised if Michelle had him in handcuffs every night. From there, the debate moved on to masculinity, and whether anyone’s got it anymore; then to Errol Flynn. Moussaka, salad, hot tea, and and pure Hyde Park conversational weirdness came out to ten bucks with tip.

    The Regenstein library had the free book cart out, with rather more titles than usual. Picked up a facsimile of “Statutes and Their Interpretation in the First Half of the Fourteenth Century” by Theodore F. T. Plucknett: Cambridge, 1922. Then lost about two hours in the stacks, browsing UFO, abduction and conspiracy-related shelves on three separate floors. Would’ve stayed longer, but the boy summoned me home for tuna and beet salad.

  47. [re=13925]AxmxZ[/re]: [re=13925]AxmxZ[/re]: Awesomely awesome love of awesomeland. Click your heels three times however, because that is our only escape.

  48. [re=13928]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I don’t know what they told you, shorts, but there is no escape from Hyde Park. It’s one of those multi-dimensional self-contained spaces that loops back in on itself infinitely. This is why people tend to stay in grad school there forever; this is also why U of C has got the highest rates of “incest” – students marrying each other – of any University in existence.

  49. [re=13933]AxmxZ[/re]: As a new-born evanstonite, a Winnetka folk, a Lake Bluff folk, a Lake Forest Folk, an Elm Street just east of State Street folk, and a generally letching individual, I am now Californii-a. And now I will smell my own ass and remind myself of that.

  50. I want to know his brand

    Cliche like Kools or Parliament?
    Elite like Shermans or American Spirits?
    Down home American like Marlboro or Camel?

    Please not GPC

  51. I am not even worried about the possibility of this arrogant, disingenuous, self-promoter becoming President of the United States of America.
    Every day another shady Associate of his gets kicked to the curb for some nefarious crime or another underhanded sleazy deal comes to light.
    Just knowing he is the most Liberal Senator ever, reading his voting record and what he stands for is enough to tell any one of sound mind he is not the man for the job.

    But if that is not enough one just need look at the list of undesirables who supports him;

    From his soft spoken spiritual mentor for twenty years- ‘Reverend’ Wright-screaming GODDAMN AMERICA from the pulpit and then publishing Hama’s manifesto stating that terrorism is a legitimate tool.

    TO ultra racist Louis Farrakhan, ‘The reign of the white man ends with Barack Hussein Obama’

    To the defrocked foaming at the mouth Catholic ‘Priest’Plfegar -to- convicted felon Tony Rezko- (convicted of federal corruption charges)

    To his association with Terrorist William Ayers from the Weathermen- Race baiters ‘Reverend’ Jesse Jackson and ‘Reverend’ Al Sharpton–

    To his angry bitter wife, to making nice with Iranian President ‘lil shorty’ Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

    The list is long and the facts are available and indisputable.

    And still the foaming masses remained charmed by his flowery incantations and empty speeches and refuse to take the time to read his own words-or vet him their selves.

    Luckily real Americans clearly see that what drives this 2 year old Senator is not love; but hate. He is a master of deceit, a racist who only pretends to love his white heritage and that of his fellow (white) man, while plotting against them.

    Psychologically however, it IS curious to watch the angry mob look to their false Prophet, Barack Hussein Obama, for deliverance from all their miseries.

  52. Please don’t think I don’t feel your bleeding angst and pity your gruesome pride in this man of blatant contradiction.

    I watch the sweating shiny eyed masses, fainting and screaming when their morally bankrupt leaders chants his magic word, “CHANGE!”

    It sickens me to watch grown men on the communist network bent over backwards, or kneeling on skinned knees swallowing everything this hypocrite says hook line and sinker.

    Don’t think I, or many of us Conservatives, truly WANT Mccaine for President.

    But any Republican on the lowest rung of the Conservative scale, would beat a Democrat on the highest scale- IE Barack Hussein Obama.

    With Barack Hussein Obama’s plans to punish businesses, seize profits and institute government-run healthcare …Can you not see his positions are directly out of the Marxist playbook.

    I believe most, if not all, democrats are Marxist’s who believe that Government is the answer to all of societies ills.

    I also believe many of his mind numbed followers are simply following him because ‘everyone else is doing it.’

    You think you are involved in a momentous Historic event, I think you are being used as a martyr for a fruitless cause.

    But your ignorance promises toyield unintended consequences, not just for you and your family but for me and mine.

    When the Democratic Leaders are the likes of Dick Durbin says, “The hottest ring in Hell is reserved for those in politics who attack their opponents’ families.” (Speaking of course of America’s New Sweetheart, soft spoken gentile Michelle Obama.)

    When your leaders cannot tell the difference between good and bad or right and wrong, when they believe “The hottest ring in Hell is reserved for those in politics who attack their opponents’ families.”

    NOT for Pedophiles, NOT for Murderers oe gang members, Not for Radical Muslims….but for a conservative who is clear thinking enough to see the truth and wants to wake up his fellow man before it is too late……well, you deserve what you get.

    However if he were to win I would be dragged down with you.

    It’s not too late.

    With minimal research, one can easily discover the Marxist connections Obama has had during his mysterious rise to prominence in the Democrat Party.

    May Capitalism and Freedom Reign Forever!

    At the end of what has become known as Barack Obama Road sits a squat, nondescript bungalow. It has no front door and no electricity and cattle graze the ground outside.

    It is home to Sarah Hussein Obama – mother of Barack Senior, granny to Barack the Senator

    HMMMMMMMMMMMMM He and his slimy wife are millionaires- so is his shamed spiritual mento Rev.


    Does anyone find this as odd as I?




    Shouldn’t the CHANGE begin with them????

  53. I don’t get the big deal about him smoking. Since when did smoking become a character flaw? No one gave Dubya shit for being a recovering alcoholic. Let him smoke! It doesn’t impair him in any way.

  54. [re=14449]joyceann[/re]: Why don’t you come out to a recent thread and play ball? Jesus would love you more for that. I won’t preach to you, fucker, so don’t preach to me. I will say openly that you’re a fucking idiot though.

    In the bibioteca (OH I’M SORRY THAT MEANS LIBRARY) somewhere it states that “Jesus came over the blog, and showed them redemption.”

    I think it was in the book of Republican Child Molester, right? Wait, Catholic pedophile? No no no, it must have been somewhere in the Book of Mormon. Okay, that’s correct.

  55. Liberal name calling…how very droll. Do you feel better now that you have bled your angst onto the screen? I hope you do, because when ever i run into a sour faced angry, rude person in public(Liberal)I wish they had taken the opportunity as you have, to lash out anonymously(so as there is no face to face confrontation and the battle of ideas to confound you) instead of trying to ruin my day with your bile and gloom. :) Smile- people will like you better

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