Barack Obama Back To Smoking His Face Off

There is a terrible "wagon" in politics that people ride when they don't want to have fun anymore. When you are on this wagon, you do not smoke or drink or do amphetamines or masturbate. It appears that Barack Obama, having ridden in the non-smoking section of this wagon, has fallen off it, and now he is a secret Cigarette Goblin again. Except because he is famous, and running for president, this is not a secret to anyone.

At a press conference in St. Louis, Barack Obama admitted he had fallen off the magical wagon once or twice, but it had been "months" since he'd had a "cigarette." Of course, that's just typical Washington non-speak for "five minutes ago I was huffing in the back of the campaign bus with a baker's dozen of Communist male strippers while injecting meth into my eyeballs," which means he is more qualified than ever to be president.

 Obama Admits Smoking Cigarettes in Last Few Months [Political Radar]