BILL CLINTON  1:15 pm June 11, 2008

Gennifer Flowers And Paula Jones Create Glorious Sex Website

by Jim Newell

Here’s the new Gennifer Flowers and Paula Jones website, “Two Chicks Chatting,” where they’re selling videos of their conversations for $1.99 apiece. They accept credit card and PayPal. Among the videos available for purchase: “Paula and the President’s Penis,” “Gennifer’s Story and the Presidential Penis,” and, simply, “Paula and Gennifer Chatting.” Oh boy — and look at those outfits! Latest intelligence still suggests that this is not a hoax. [Two Chicks Chatting]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 57 comments }

CrunchyKnee June 11, 2008 at 1:18 pm

It’s the end of the world as we know it.

Where’d I put that bottle?

sezme June 11, 2008 at 1:21 pm

First person to post the New and Exciting Revelations here – for free – gets their very own whore diamond!

tunamelt June 11, 2008 at 1:21 pm

For me, this would be like listening to my mom and her friend talking about the sex they had in college. Except I’d be paying for it.

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2008 at 1:25 pm

Ladies — the only people who paid money to hear you talk were Ken Starr and Newt Gingrich. Enjoy your continued irrelevance. Oi veh.

ManchuCandidate June 11, 2008 at 1:25 pm

For a $1.99 a shot I’d be hoping for something more than two women chatting, but not in this case.

Inadequate Blackmail June 11, 2008 at 1:26 pm

I’m sure whoever put the money up for this site is kicking themselves that Hillary didn’t get nominated. In fact, I’m guessing it’s Dick Morris.

Shypixel June 11, 2008 at 1:27 pm

[re=13264]sezme[/re]: I was about to do your bidding, but then I noticed you have to download and install a new codec to view the videos….

Funny, thats how porn sites get key loggers and other malware on your machine, through proprietary and restrictive video codec “downloads”…

TGY June 11, 2008 at 1:28 pm

Phone sex number?

Advocatus_Diaboli June 11, 2008 at 1:34 pm

Gawd, that Gennifer is an an ugly cunt. Please go back to your irrelevance, now. kthnxbai

Gopherit v2.0 June 11, 2008 at 1:34 pm

No. Just….no.

Gopherit v2.0 June 11, 2008 at 1:36 pm

[re=13281]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: I bet it was Hillary. Have to make up that $10 mil debt somehow.

Advocatus_Diaboli June 11, 2008 at 1:39 pm

Oh, and another thing. NO one but Sean Hannity wants to hear two skanks talking about the Clenis!

Paultardville June 11, 2008 at 1:40 pm

-10 whore diamonds

Gopherit v2.0 June 11, 2008 at 1:40 pm

Also, isn’t this false advertising? At best, these hags bagged Gubernatorial Dick. I hear, once you become president, your penis grows to the size of a Chunky Soup can.

Godless Liberal * June 11, 2008 at 1:42 pm

Dammitall, Paula Jones is actually kind of attractive now, in a “wouldn’t lie to my buddies about picking her up at a bar” kind of way, but definitely not in a “would proudly admit to my wife that I hit that” way. Gennifer Flowers is, as always, hideous in a “Linda Tripp after gastric bypass” way.

Vanity Smurf June 11, 2008 at 1:43 pm

They’re just trying to salvage what they can of their plan to make a fortune once Hilz got the nom.

AngryBlakGuy June 11, 2008 at 1:44 pm

…I’d more than likely hit Paula Jones(might need a couple tumblers of jack)

…Gennifer Flowers not even bag on her head and someone elses dick!

Vanity Smurf June 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Shouldn’t this site be called “A Couple of White (Trash) Chicks Sittin’ Around Talking” or was that play written by a bitter back in the 70s?

tsunami June 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm

more tastless than the Yolanda and her Donkey website.

Dave J. June 11, 2008 at 1:50 pm

Jim: the Wonkette nation humbly asks that you shell out the $1.99 and then provide us with synopsis of either/both of the videos.

kudzu June 11, 2008 at 1:51 pm

Sleaze; and of the worst kind. Two women looking to make a buck while putting on a serious face. They’ve been obviously coached to act as if the purpose of their going public with this little endeavor is to discuss important matters. Flowers comes out with this antiseptic tone that tries to take the dirty out of a deed. When explaining what she and Paula Jones are doing on the Web site, she sounds like a stripper before giving you a lap dance describing what she’s going to do and what you cannot do, and asking politely for her money.

On more mundane matters: I think I’d do Paula.

V572625694 June 11, 2008 at 1:54 pm

[re=13318]Godless Liberal *[/re]: Well stated. Bill liked the skank, no question of that. Gina Gershon? Out of his league, or so she says.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 1:54 pm

I have thrown up all over the place. I will never recover. I hate you Paula.

Gopherit v2.0 June 11, 2008 at 1:56 pm

[re=13336]Dave J.[/re]: Only, if it turns into 2girlsandacup, please for the love of God, no screen caps.

StrangelyBrown June 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Naturally, the Daily News has bought and reviewed these videos. The verdict: two cocks down.

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/2008/06/10/2008-06-10_bill_clintons_gal_pals_kiss_and_tell_on_.html

kudzu June 11, 2008 at 1:57 pm

Sorry about the comma splices on my previous posting. My bad.

tunamelt June 11, 2008 at 1:58 pm

[re=13336]Dave J.[/re]: Business expense!

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 11, 2008 at 2:03 pm

Shouldn’t that last video be entitled “Paula and Gennifer Chatting about the Presidential Penis”?

MathewBrooks June 11, 2008 at 2:05 pm

I think this has been covered before but Chelsea looks like Paula Jones.

Delicious June 11, 2008 at 2:06 pm

Ah, what memories. Paula. Gennifer. Troopergate.

All-around embarrassment as a president.

Not for bagging extramarital cooter, but for having such a high threshhold for skank. The leader of the Free World (and even a southern governor) can and must do better.

MathewBrooks June 11, 2008 at 2:06 pm

Is this a 2 girls 1 cup knockoff?

graceless June 11, 2008 at 2:09 pm

[re=13339]V572625694[/re]: Did he like the skank, or was the skank the best he could do? Maybe he and Hill had an understanding that he be with skanks, as opposed to say, Hill’s friends.

Uncle Al June 11, 2008 at 2:13 pm

Two “Chicks” Chatting?
Let’s be honest. Two old hens.
I have a friend who emigrated from Switzerland to the U.S. because of stuff like this. “Sure, the U.S. is vulgar and violent and horrible in a lot of ways,” she says, “but it’s so….vital, compared to boring old Europe.”
I think this is the kind of thing she has in mind. Only in America.

graceless June 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

[re=13336]Dave J.[/re]: ditto. Jim, it’s a business expense. plus, i’m cheap, not easy.

johnbpt June 11, 2008 at 2:15 pm

Hafta admit that I always thought Paula was a hottie — only time Bill showed any taste in women whatsoever. Monica a distant second.

choinski June 11, 2008 at 2:16 pm

Oh wah wah wah. Are we to beleive:

1) We were always like this, so when Bill Clinton came on to us it was suddenly a terrible thing, or
2) We were never like this, but we’re like this now, embracing this to make a buck.

Lorax June 11, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Personally, I’m pretty sure being with either one of ‘em would be like reaching into a stump fulla granddaddy longlegs….shudder….

William Tecumseh Sherman June 11, 2008 at 2:29 pm

And here’s yet another reason why Obama was a better choice for President than the Clintons– Scarlett Johannsen would never put up a web site like this.

TGY June 11, 2008 at 2:31 pm

“How can anyone who can’t control her husband control our country?” asked Jones, in one of her pithier moments.

That’s just nasty. Even though I don’t like Hills much, I don’t think she deserves that. She couldn’t control his frickin’ loud Bubba-mouth on the campaign trail, either, but I don’t think anybody could’ve done that. He’s Bill Clinton! Mr. Loose Canon, as ’twere. He should put his canon back in his pants.

Humble Pi June 11, 2008 at 2:32 pm

I wouldn’t fuck them with Bill Clinton’s dick. Oh wait, I did.

guerilla-nation June 11, 2008 at 2:34 pm

for god’s sake, tell those two old men to put some clothes on!

Humble Pi June 11, 2008 at 2:34 pm

[re=13346]StrangelyBrown[/re]: Monica Lewinski left the Democratic Party because it “left a bad taste in her mouth.” Priceless! Almost.

Iggy Plop June 11, 2008 at 2:41 pm

{shudder} but I suppose if back then I’d given it enough thought, I should have been able to foresee it would come to this. Before long the entire right wing conspiracy is going to pimping 1-900 numbers on late-night TV.

MathewBrooks June 11, 2008 at 2:48 pm

Someone get these 2 girls 1 cup. They already have shit in their mouths.

weirdiowasculpture June 11, 2008 at 2:56 pm

By my calculations, they are both now a bazillion years old. That picture of Paula must date to about 1992. Now she looks more like WALNUTS!

raider12 June 11, 2008 at 3:34 pm

Years ago I had stopped in the bookstore that was in the WTC lower concourse and there was Gennifer Flowers hawking and signing her book. Or, rather, icily glaring at the idiots who stood in line to have that waste sign her book. Talk about someone who did not deserve even her 15 minutes of fame/infamy. I got out of there as quickly as possible, all the while questioning Bill Clinton’s sanity & judgment.

Darehead June 11, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Meanwhile this just in today’s news also:

According to her most recent filing with the Federal Election Commission. Senator Clinton owed about $9.5 million in unpaid bills at the end of April, 2008. Specifically she owed $5 million to Gennifer Flowers, and 4.5 million to Paula Jones, money promised to them in April if they would not launch their website, “Two Chicks Chatting.” Senator Clinton had promised to pay Ms. Flowers and Ms. Jones on the day after the primary election, June 4, 2008.

spiffyvif June 11, 2008 at 4:46 pm

even from that small pic, you can see the hack photoshop job on Flowers’ picture…bobblehead, anyone?

Canuckledragger June 11, 2008 at 6:00 pm

Don’t be too hard on these power-lust knob-polishers. [Tee hee, I said hard on....]

The lot fees are due on their trailers.

Skanks gotta eat, too, y’know. Penis doesn’t fill the belly.

RobPetrified June 11, 2008 at 6:59 pm

Shouldn’t ‘Jennifer’ be spelled with a ‘J’?
Unless, of course, you work in a titty bar.
Then nobody even cares what your name is, much less how its spelled
on the mailbox out in front of the trailer park.

shortsshortsshorts June 11, 2008 at 7:04 pm

Pimpin’ aint easy.

Whore Diamond in the Rough June 11, 2008 at 7:07 pm

[re=13336]Dave J.[/re]: If all the commenter donated just one cent…

KTHXBAI June 11, 2008 at 7:57 pm

That’s a lot of big hair, cellulite, and jeans decorated by the Bedazzler.

1ofUS June 11, 2008 at 8:06 pm

Well I knew bill’s dick was shaped like a pretzel, but what of dick’s bill?

sanantonerose June 12, 2008 at 12:22 am

[re=13343]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Two girls, one Clenis?

masterdebater June 12, 2008 at 12:59 am

I’m sorry, I started to comment and realized I was wrong. You see, I thought it said, “Two chicks with dicks chatting”, because I saw those pictures and…well, you have to admit… I’ve always said that if they would have just sought to impeach Clinton over his taste in women, no one would have been able to defend him.

rudes June 13, 2008 at 1:44 pm

So who are the two chicks in the outer photos? Daughters?

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