Wonkette
He may have spent his entire presidency jabbering about “the enemy” and mushroom clouds and evildoers, but now that he has just eight more months in office before he retires to his Paraguayan retreat for war criminals, President George W. Bush says his gun-slingin’ rhetoric was maybe not such a great idea — on account of how it made him sound like a war-obsessed warmonger.
Here is the funniest (saddest) sentence from this interview he gave to The Times: “Phrases such as ‘bring them on’ or ‘dead or alive’, he said, ‘indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace’.” This was unfortunate, because he was a man of peace, as evidenced by his declaring war on Iraq.
He went on to say that he hopes the next president will declare war on Iran, so that he won’t look like the only douchebag to start a war in the Middle East in the past few years.
President Bush regrets his legacy as man who wanted war [Times Online]
Now we’re in the beginnings of the “Begging”, I mean, “Regrets” stage of his Preznitsee.
As in “Please please please don’t box me up and send me to the Hogg where ever the fuck that is! What? Holy shit! Yourope!”
Is this man sane? Drunk? I thought he was going all hawkish on Iran just two days ago?
Aww that is so cute! He thinks being the worst president in the history of the US is like getting too drunk and hitting on his buddy’s girlfriend! And he wants to spend the next six months making Israel and Palestine be friends! How can we stay mad at him…?
ronaldpagan: I’m sure we can find a way.
Don’t you all see this is a ploy? With Bush saying he wants peace, McCain can say he’s the candidate of “change” because he wants to invade Iraq.
As penance, Douchey should end his days serving as Robert Mugabe’s buttboy.
Sorry George, it’s time to get used to your name in the same sentence with names like Franklin Pierce, James Buchanan, and Tiny Lister.
The whole “Peace in the Middle East will be my final and lasting legacy” gambit was tired when immy Carter was trying it.
Wow, this is great news, really. Maybe now he’ll cop to keeping the rich rich while the poorer get poorer.
I can’t wait to see what he’ll admit next.
-”Mr. West was right, I really don’t care about black people”
-”I shot JR, heh heh”
-”John McCain will be be the next president, for it has been prophecized in the Necronomicon”
-”Hey guess ‘Merica, all those times I thought God was talkin’ to me, it was just some radio interference from my filings. Like that movie Real Genius with Val Kilmer, gosh I love that Val Kilmer. He lives on a ranch too, just like me!”
I also like that picture, he’s got that Steve Urkel “Did I do that?” look.
Maybe he could play up other aspects of his presidency. In addition to being a warmonger he was also an incurious Korsakoff-afflicted asshat.
And now we have McCain offering his deep-throated, er, full-throated support of this asshole’s administration. I’d call them policies, but policy indicates there was some thought involved.
Warmongerin’, surely?
We gather today to honor the legacy of George W. Bush, or “Amish George” as he was affectionately called. For eight years he led his country forward by clinging steadfastly to the traditions of the past. Like the subjugation of women and non-Caucasians, the latter whom are the very descendants of Cain himself.
Never one to raise a hand in violence against his brother, he instead raised it against the dusky foreign legions of the Middle East. Scurrilous primitive dogs who could not even read the ultimatums eloquently laid out by the President with his quill pen by candlelight in the Oval Office.
These vicious, backward Mennonites were slaughtered to the last for the Grace of God and for their precious, precious butter, which is available to every American this day for the cut-rate price of $10 per gallon.
Amish George leaves a legacy of peace, security and goodwill towards men.
Dear George,
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
HollowBrain:
-”Oh and did I say I lived on a ranch? I meant I want to own a plantation. Once slavery’s back in style. Heh heh.”
He should’ve thought about that 5-6 years ago.
Check this website out, it’s hilllarious..just like Colbert. ‘Pretend Right-Wing’ Humor:
http://www.realdealreport.com/
He should’ve thought about that 5 years ago.
Check this website out, it’s hilllarious..just like Colbert. ‘Pretend Right-Wing’ Humor:
http://www.realdealreport.com/
Poor misunderstood George. Why didn’t the world realize that when he said “bring them on”, he was referring to MC Rove and the Singing Senators, who were scheduled to perform at the 2004 RNC.
Looks like someone is trying, all to late, to get into heaven.
Classic apology: “I’m sorry…. SORRY THE FUCKING IRAQIS SCREWED UP MAH WAR!” (gets out flightsuit and tiny American flag) “I HATE YOU ALL!”
HollowBrain: Kudos for the ‘Real Genius’ reference - has Val Kilmer made a decent movie since then?
I’m sure that George Lucas could remake ‘Willow’ as some sort of obvious GWB allegory, if necessary.
Well, he’s no Spitzer and that’s not a very nice thing to say about Condi…
What? Oh, WARmonger, not Whoremonger!
My bad.
Superfecta: Maybe you’re forgetting about a little gem called AT FIRST SIGHT?
P.S. GW Bush had one purpose as President… no matter how much debt had to be accumulated, no matter how many soldiers had to die, Chevron was going to see its first $10B quarterly profit!
If he really wants to help the country, heal the world and foster democracy, nothing says “I’m sorry” like turning yourself in, giving us the goods on the big fish (Cheney), and seeing the two of you do the perp walk in orange jump suits.
superfecta:
I would say so. He was superb in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Oh and Tombstone. Oh and Lords of Dogtown.
Don’t knock Val Kilmer, he’s an Advanced actor.
http://www.esquire.com/features/ESQ0704-JULY_AMERICA
Yes, if he would’ve used “a different tone, a different rhetoric” all those US soldiers and Iraqis would still be alive. Sheesh. On the other hand, it was certainly nice of him to give so many Iraqis a chance to die for their country.
“But he delivered a thinly veiled warning to Mr Obama that his promises to renegotiate or block international trade deals were already causing alarm in Europe and beyond.”
Because talking with people hurts them *so* much.
Hmmm…
“I am not a crook.”
“I am not a warmongerer.”
The lament of really bad presidents.
…whats next? Maybe Dick Cheney will declare that he isn’t an undead, bile spewing vampire?!
No, he didn’t “regret the war”. He regretted his rhetoric about the war. He regretted that people “misunderstood” him about the war. Hey, no, the war is A-Ok. It’s a fun war. Better than golf, even.
1. Phrases such as “bring them on” or “dead or alive”, he said, “indicated to people that I was, you know, rowing with only one oar in the water”.
2. — He said that he found it very painful “to put youngsters in harm’s way”. — This fails to explain Mark Foley.
3, He added: “ … I also have an obligation to make sure that those lives were not lost in vain. You know, worthless as a bucket of warm spit. Therefore, my next act shall be to call upon the services of the Re-Animator”.
This is pretty far from an apology for being a war monger. It’s an apology for me thinking he’s a warmonger. Basically, it’s another way of saying Scotty McClellen betrayed him. When he really enters Warmongers Anonymous, you will know because he will go around and personally apologize to the 6 billion people he’s offended.
“I just did it for the war diamonds. What? Whore? Whoops, oh man, I misunderterpretated. Sowwies!”
Cooler!
“Phrases such as ‘bring them on’ or ‘dead or alive’ indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace. Which is crazy, because, heck, I’ve never shown any desire at all to fight in a war.”
“Phrases such as ‘bring them on’ or ‘dead or alive’, he said, ‘indicated to people that I was, you know, not a man of peace’.”
Dubya is an idiot savant of irony in addition to being a regular idiot.
Oh! To live in that brighter, kinder universe where the blood-soaked clusterfuck in Iraq was precipitated not by phrases taken from Pro Wrasslin’, but perhaps instead by quotes from Martin Luther King, or Ghandi!
I don’t know who I hate more, W or his followers.
Servo: I don’t know who I hate more, W or his followers.
decisions decisions
Oh what a relief! All these years I foolishly had the wrong impression of Shrub.
Mr. President, I apologize for harboring thoughts of utter resentment toward you and your administration.
Thank you. Now I feel better about all the damage you’ve done.
Phew.
Gopherit v2.0: Both? Bush as a multi-tasker. Who would have believed? I feel doing a Haka mambo.
Awww…lay off the guy. If you read the story, he also says he kinda regrets not doing anything for all those people in New Orleans, that he totally should have read that memo about terrorists using planes to attack the US, that torture wasn’t such a hot idea, and telling little white lies about WMDs kinda backfired. Oh, and he also called Cheney a “dick”.
See…he is pretty self-aware.
Good God!!!! Why doesn’t he impeach HIMSELF already!!!! The only thing he can do to save his complete waste of time presidency.
Didn’t he spend the last few years insisting that he was a war president? Now he is a man of peace. Perhaps tomorrow he will decide that he is really a fireman.
Or maybe he is away from Cheney and is trying to indicate to us all that everything is Cheney’s fault. “I’m a man of peace…, no mater what you think, I wasn’t the person who insisted we go to war…, it was others, powerful others. I just wanted peace and to play some golf.”
Still, since Drudge’s headline on this, this is all I can think of:
Iraqi, do you understand me now
Sometimes I feel a little mad
But don’t you know that no one alive
Can always be an angel
When things go wrong I seem to be bad
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
Iraqi, sometimes I’m so carefree
With a joy that’s hard to hide
And sometimes it seems that all I have do is worry
Then you’re bound to see my other side
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
If I seem edgy I want you to know
That I never mean to take it out on you
Life has it’s problems and I get my share
And that’s one thing I never meant to do
Because I love you
Oh, Oh Iraqi, don’t you know I’m human
Have thoughts like any other one
Sometimes I find myself long regretting
Some foolish thing some little simple thing I’ve done
But I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
Yes, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
Yes, I’m just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don’t let me be misunderstood
I can’t shake the Steve Urkel, “Did I do that?” visual.
Just kill yourself, George. Then maybe I’ll consider forgiveness. Maybe.
Aren’t these the same things he regretted in his news conference, like three years ago? It’s too bad he’s dredging up his old timeworn fake regret instead of maybe coming up with something stupid he regrets. Like lying about Iraq having WMDs, terrorist ties and being on the verge of — what was it again? — attacking the United States?! Yeah, maybe he could’ve regretted that. Or maybe he could’ve regretted pulling our troops out of Afghanistan and not finishing the job there when we could have, but instead kicking the dust off our feet and leaving the Taliban and al-Qaida to NATO when it was really our job to settle. Or maybe he could’ve regretted, after invading Afghanistan and Iraq, suddenly deciding that the real enemy was — wait for it — Iran! Oh, Christ on a fuckin’ biscuit — I could go on and on, but I won’t. Let’s just impeach the motherfucker already.
Doglessliberal: I think God “spoke” to him again.
I’m sure all those service families are comforted to know it was only rhetoric that got their loved ones killed. For absolutely nothing.
By the way, the pic seems to speak to me. “Sorry I fucked y’all up, hehe,” George is saying. I’m not sure the real George would say “y’all”, being born in Connecticut, but that’s what I hear.
superfecta: norbizness: HollowBrain: Another good Kilmer flick: the noir-ish “Kill Me Again.” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kill_Me_Again
TGY: I think something else is happening in that picture, but I can’t say it in front of polite, mixed company.
If the United States of America lasts a thousand years, it will never, ever be completely rid of the stink of this man and his fucked up Administration.
Meh. He admitted this a couple of years ago. Laura gave him an earful after the “bring it on” bullshit.
Oy vey, Ehud, and tha 911 thing? Shit, really: my bad.