In the event that Iranian Space Monsters bomb everything in the entire world and Internet tonight except the National Press Club, you may consider attending its lecture tomorrow from this Presidential Candidate of the “Proudican” party, where he will explain his unique “prolutions,” which are either “progressive solutions” or “masturbatory conspiracy salons.” [National Press Club]
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{ 41 comments }
This will PRObably be a highly PROvacative PROgram
That, or it will suck PROsticles.
“An independent political 3rd party”? More like 105th party!
President Bongardt? Who’s his runningmate going to be? Woody Harrelson?
I just proluted myself.
Meh. I’m holding out for the keynote speakers at the Soap and Detergent Association. They’re bubblicious!
Proudicans… Proudhon… holy shit, they’re anarchists!!
This party is the result of many years of alien molestation. Awareness of this tragic but frequent occurrence deserves more attention that it has received over the years.
ANAL PROBES RUIN LIVES SHEEPLE!!!! Please join the Proudican(t)s in their long journey towards destroying the alien rapists, who are actually being hidden by our government in Yucca Mountain with Elvis, Tupac and Jesus.
Pro-uck. I did some googling, he’s an engineer who’s sexually obsessed with his CAD experience.
[re=12618]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: I’ve always found probing to be a very exhilarating and liberating experience that builds trust and intimacy
“In the event that Iranian Space Monsters bomb everything in the entire world and Internet tonight except the National Press Club, you may consider attending its lecture tomorrow….”
I’d go if the Iranian Space Monsters bomb some how missed Filene’s Basement…
Sounds like the Neocon wing of the BackYardigans.
Like a Log Cabin thing? Oh wait! I’ve heard of these guys. They advocate PROdomy.
My first guess is that this party favors being proud of America. However, American Pride is up there with The Bible as far as OK ideas that you can misuse for any cause you want because they make The Bitters’ dicks hard.
He’ll probably steal votes from Ralph Nader.
I read the PR. Sounds a leeetle bit familiar. Does this mean that Obama is now running for Prez thru his avatar Bruce D. Bongardt? Or has it always been the reverse?
I gotta say, some of the prolutions are pretty thought PROvoking. Or should I say, PROtty thought provoking.
[re=12635]bmannes[/re]: Prodomy? Is that like hesitant sodomy? Come on! Commit! Jam it in and join the GOP.
ADVANCE TRANSCRIPT: As I stand at this prodium, I, Bob Bongardt, am proud to be proudicannly pronouncing my prodidancy for Prosident of the Pronited States of Promerica. My prolutions will prostore this great nation to propro. Propro pro pro pro propro pro!
[re=12626]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: My bad, I meant fisting.
Here are the “prolutions”, in convenient slide show format:
http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-6177
My favorites are switching to the 9-day week “Proudican Calendar”. I really just like saying “Proudican Calendar”.
exactly how many third parties are we up to this point?
If “New Ideas” include the idea to call themselves “Proudicans”, consider me to be a big fan of Old Ideas.
[re=12671]Cicada[/re]: “favorite is” not “favorites are”. Don’t know what happened there.
And now we have Proudtards. Friggin’ great.
[re=12626]NotUrEvryDayWEzl[/re]: I keep trying to explain that to the woman, but she just won’t listen.
“AT this point?”!
I get how this works: we randomly form parties that address specific interests until one of them magically becomes a competitive alternative.
Either Theodore Roosevelt would be proud or express his displeasure by shooting everything in sight.
“Prolutions?” Ugh — sounds like he’s into solving problems with hydrogen sulfide. That’s not prope you can believe in.
Personally, I thought the Proudicans had the best float at the last Gay Pride Parade.
[re=12646]S.Luggo[/re]: Obama the problate – Progressive Black Candidate
Say what you will about the the proud and noble Proudicans, it won’t sway me, I am totally voting for BONGardt. In fact, I was recently suspended for voicing my opinions when I unfurled a ten foot banner “BONG-ardt 4 Jesus”
Will the Proudicians utilize a proactive paradigm-shifting change management prolution, I wonder? Bongardt certainly sounds like a thought leader of sorts. Hopefully his vision statement will incorporate some element of progressive enhancement framework tantamount to synergetic Enterprise empowerment…
[re=12862]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: whoops, ‘Proudicans’.. (like it matters)
[re=12613]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: I’m assuming he’s a glass blower.
[re=12892]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Ooooh! I think I have one of the pieces from his colletion–it’s called “the Long Gun”, because it will blow your ass away. Or so I’m told.
[re=12863]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: Actually I don’t think that word has a plural form yet.
[re=12899]edgydrifter[/re]: Yeah, I don’t think I’ve seen any of his work, but I’m familiar with the theory behind it.
Are the Proudicans in any way related to the Fockers?
Masturbatory conspiracy salons? They ARE thinking outside the box.
Bongtards for Beezus! (maybe not Ramona, though).
Proud as in “pride,” right? ‘Cause I won’t be attending shit if it doesn’t involve gays copulating.
Are we sure this wasn’t Proustian Bong Art? Because I would go to that.
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