Wonkette
As of now, your Wonkette still plans on attending the Republican National Convention in the Twin Cities in early September, because why not. But now there may be something interesting to do! That’s right: Ron Paul will hold a Rival Convention, same time, same cities, with every Paultard in the world. We’re all over this shit.
Paul was denied a speaking spot at the “real” GOP Convention, which would make sense, since he doesn’t support John McCain. Well, in truth, none of the Republicans “support” John McCain, but most are willing to run with it as long as he’s in favor of Perpetual War, and McCain has indicated, every now and then, that he likes that. And Ron Paul stayed flat.
Anyway:
A Paul campaign aide said the Texas congressman hopes to pack about 11,000 supporters into the Williams Arena at the University of Minnesota on Sept. 2, which coincides with the second day of the Republican National Convention at the Xcel Energy Center in neighboring St. Paul.
Lovely. And in case either you forgot or we haven’t mentioned it at all, the big Ron Paul March on Washington is scheduled for July 12. Here’s the predictably comical “trailer”:
Should Wonkette hold a barbecue for Paultard Pilgrims that week? BRING YR NUNCHUKS & SABRES.
Ron Paul plans his own convention [Pittsburgh Tribune-Review]
Ron Paul Revolution March July 12 2008 [YouTube]
So. Awesome.
I’m stocking up on beer and popcorn and taking the convention days off.
Yes. Go Paultards. Fuck it. Rent the entire Metrodome. And hire an entire Zeppelin Crew and every extra from LOTR. Then have a huge tard-party in front of thousands of TV cameras while Walnuts is prattling on about the Mexican War or whatever it is he talks about when his grandkids ignore him.
Man I would hate to work at the local TGIFridays that weekend
Suggest you buy Liz some body armor for filming this one. Remember, if Liz gets hurt, I SHALL CUT YOU. Ahem. I mean…sorry, Post Primary Stress Disorder thingie. It’s all fun and games until somebody smashes a cam.
…11,000 Ron Paul supporters? Is COMICON in Minnesota this year?
Second life parties are SOOOO WAY AWESOME.
Paultards are so much better with the whole youtube video than the rest of the ‘tards. This is why I like them.
Fuck yeah! I too enjoy political farce as entertainment. In a battle between the dull witted and the WOW types, I’m throwing my lot in with the WOW types. Sure they’re nutty and kinda racist and crazee, but I prefer that to the entitled smug LNS douchebag kinda racist types and would love to see those two camps go at it. I’ll even throw $5 Canada City bucks to help buy laser pointers, pot or a napalm equipped blimp.
Rolo-tony-brown-town: Or the buffet at the Raaaadisson fer Christ’s sake…
i feel for the female hookers in minneapolis. between the paultards and the republicans, they’re not going to make a dime this summer.
whose parents’ basement are all the paultards going to crash in?
That trailer looks awesome, when’s it in theatres?
Although, given that other “good trailers” are Ironman and the Hulk, it’ll probably be a disappointment.
I’d love to have the Dungeons & Dragons concession that week.
A small group of Paultards showed up at some show I was at last weekend for some local band nobody cares about. Maybe four or five of them. They kept on arguing with people on the back patio where everybody smokes and drinks and generally acts like godless, big government, terrorist-loving Liberals. It was kind of irritating, so I ended up leaving. Apparently, five minutes after I left, The Paultards Became Violent and kicked the shit out of some 22-year old guy, leaving his temple bleeding.
And that is how you win arguments in Paultardia!
Ron Paul simply supports the Constitution, why call them tards?
Free Documentary on http://www.video.google.com ‘One Nation Under Siege’(1.4hrs). Through the research and personal testimony of over a dozen internationally distinguished authors, journalists, doctors, and military experts (Major General Albert Stubblebine) you will understand the massive and ceaseless control projected onto an unsuspecting populace by a government that may have finally crossed the line from a representative republic to a fascist empire. From the USA PATRIOT Act and the blatant disregard for the Bill of Rights to the outright tracking of every human being on the planet earth, you will be stunned by what U.S. government documents describe for the future of America. http://www.undersiegemovie.com/
USA’s Constitution and currency are being destroyed from within. How? Videos free on http://www.video.google.com 1) America: Freedom to Fascism, 2 hrs; 2)911 Justice, 18min; 3) The Clinton Chronicles, 1.7 hrs; 4) Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement, 2 hrs, 5) Terrorstorm: A History of False Flag Terror, 2 hrs 6) 911 Mysteries, 2 hrs; 7)The Creature from Jekyll Island, 1hr; 8)Orwell Rolls in His Grave, 2hrs; 9) The War on Democracy, 1.5 hrs; 10) The Energy Non-Crisis, 1 hr; 11)Iraq for Sale 1.2 hr; 12) Zeitgeist, 2 hrs; 13)Ring of Power, 2.5 hrs; 14)Bush link to JFK, 1.5 hrs; 15) The Century of the Self, 4 hrs; 16) Loose Change (2nd ed & Final cut) 2hrs each; 17)John Pilger: The New Rulers of the World; 18) The Money Masters: How International Bankers Gained Control of America, 3.5 hrs 19) Barack Obama CFR info 20) Global Warming or Global Governance 21) The Great Global Warming Swindle 22) Mercury, Autism and The Global Vaccine Agenda 23) The CIA, Mind Control and Satanism 24)George Hunt: UN UNCED Earth Summit 1992 (Population Reduction) 25) End of NAtions - EU Takeover 26) Washington, You’re Fired 27) Blackwater: America’s Private Army 28) Esoteric Agenda 29) Fiat Empire: Why the Federal Reserve Violates the U.S. COnstitution 30) The Revolution Will not be Televised [USA overthrow of Hugo Chavez] 31) One Nation Under Siege 32)Breaking The Silence - Truth and Lies in the War on Terror, by John Pilger(and all his documentaries) 33)Beyond Treason 1.5hrs
Let me get this straight…the Paultards are marching in/on DC on JULY 12?!?!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
This is going to be great, watching them march around in their furry suits and waving their big-ass signs in 100+ degree heat and ultra-high humidity.
That may be worth waking up early and braving a hangover to get a good seat for the show.
I thought they were all supposed to be in the Republican Convention and show the world how they feel. A neighboring city? Pussies!
Securicom: …’tard! Bloviation and lack of humor gives you away!
…that must be a hard decision Jim! The RNC will have the better liquor/food but Paul-stock will have better looking women(maybe). The RNC will have wonderful babbling psychos like 9u11iani, Mittens, Foghorn Leghorn and WALNUTS! Paul-stock will have rabid Paul-tards just begging to be severely beaten by local authorities.
Securicom: I believe we have been invaded.
Rolo-tony-brown-town: are the mcgreevys in town? (http://wonkette.com/391251/dina-mcgreevey-needs-gay-governor-lifestyle-especially-the-helicopter)
Securicom: Because of posts like this? Or was your question more rhetorical in nature?
Wonkette’s mission at this convention is to find Paultard CrazyEyes, and make sweet love to her.
This is going to make the 1968 DNC look like a Cub Scout Jamboree.
I want to see some motherfucking anarchy.
That was better than any Star Wars movie.
I kept waiting for the RPG geeks to start shouting “Thunderbolt! Thunderbolt!”.
At the risk of getting branded as a nutcase (I mean, any more than I am already), that was a pretty effective video.
I mean, I’d go see that movie.
But where are the aliens?
(The REAL aliens: Not the illegals selling the tee shirts and the poor True Believers holding the posters and signs, thinking that they can change anything . . . .)
Rolo-tony-brown-town: I’m thinking that if groups from the two conferences meet it will be violent.
Just tell them you’ve got Gary Gygax’s brain in a jar, and 11,000 basement-dwellers will be there lickety-split.
sign me up for the barbeque. seriously, let’s be neighborly. these people are crazy but at least they recognize the current regime for the traitorous scam that it is.
Wait, does Ron Paul think we’re “coddl[ing] the world” by “precipitating no-win wars”? I could name a few hundred thousand Iraqis who don’t feel very “coddled”.
Wow, they’re getting all 11,000 supporters to come? Now, that’s inclusive!
In RonPaulia, you’re ALL superdelegates.
You know, as Doctor-Patriot Ron Paul says in the PowerPoint, the problem is that we’re coddling the world. Yeah, we’re coddling it by invading Iraq, threatening war with Iran and N Korea, embargoing Cuba, and gobbling up enormous quantities of fuel for our SUVs and sugar for ethanol. We gotta stop coddling the world that way!!!1!!
Did it cut into their blimp budget to pay the orcs singing on that trailer?
Is Peter Jackson going to sue for copyright infringement?
Securicom: Why call them ‘tards? Have you READ your post? ’nuff said.
Is it just me or could this thing really use Samuel Jackson tossing a cigarette onto a puddle of gasoline in slow motion, only to turn and walk away calmly as a building explodes?
This reminds me of what Matt Taibbi said on “The Daily Show” about the 9/11 Truth club he joined. During their first meeting they established two goals.
1. Create a new media paradigm in the United States
2. Organize a movie night.
I have a feeling the Paultard convention will have a similar flavor.
Securicom:
Exhibit A:
Why the Chetniks and Partizans never could get along…
Curious about Securicom’s mention of Major General Albert Stubblebine, I Googled him. What fun:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albert_Stubblebine
Here’s a taste: “Stubblebine features heavily in journalist Jon Ronson’s book The Men Who Stare at Goats.”
Oh, and have you heard?–no Boeing 767 crashed into the Pentagon on Sep 11, 2001. Just ask MG Stubblebine! He retired from the Army in 1984, so he should know!
OMGzz! Did Wonkette just get hacked by hackerz? I had some serious connex issues…
If My Wonkette is going to be in Minneapolis over the convention, I might have to buy My Wonkette a drink since I think I’ll be up there then, too (though not for politics-related reasons, thankfully).
This is gonna be frickin’ beautiful. I’m all for anything that makes the Repugs look bad. Thanks Paultards. We couldn’t do it without you.
Securicom: Nothing like a humorless laundry list to fire up the Wonkette masses.
Isn’t that convention supposed to be in St. Paul? No wonder the Paultards chose it. Alert the Pope.
Inadequate Blackmail: Blasphemer! Ron Paul is no mere saint; he is their messiah!
Locksmith’s everywhere should be donating to make this paultard convention happen. think of all the business it’ll drum up when the paultards finally leave their parents’ basements for the first time in years and locks get changed to keep them out.
V572625694: I can confirm that no B767 hit the pentagon. All the evidence points to a B757.
Securicom: Blah blah blah you’re a tard, we get it.
Securicom: The incredible thing is that you are so correct that YOU ARE NOT REAL SPAMBOT YOU HAVE POSTED THIS ALL OVER WONKETTE. Scaaaarrryy shit man.
Securicom: These are all over the site today, does The BanHammer™ have the day off?
Securicom: I think you misunderstand. There’s nothing wrong with the good doctor from Texas–he’s cool by me. It’s his retarded followers who are retarded, hence Paultards plural. See? ‘Cuz they’re retards. By the way, how many gold Ameros can you stow in that blimp there?
The Station Manager: Some how I doubt a self-interested gynecologist is anyone’s messiah. But I’ll defer to Securicom and Alex Jones on this one.
V572625694:
from wikipedia:
“Stubblebine and his wife, psychiatrist Rima E. Laibow, M.D., founded the Natural Solutions Foundation (NSF)[3], “a non-profit corporation devoted to protecting and promoting health freedom”.”
Gotta protect those precious bodily fluids. Freak.
Securicom: Under Siege? I mean, I love Steven Segal as much as the next douchesack, but really.
And you left the reptilian alien shape-shifters off of your list.
guerilla-nation: Au, contraire…..but imagine what they’ll have to do to earn the money.
Dr. Spaceman: You guys! I suggest we set up a paypal for the 5-0 and Guardsman. Every Paultard that gets maced, clubbed or tazed is 1 paypal-whore-diamond.
Gopherit v2.0:
Make sure you read the Talk page of any Wikipedia article that’s even slightly related to any Paultard pet issue. Hilarious. Those people just annoy the fuck out of EVERYONE they ever encounter.
FunkyPalmettoBug: Thank you for saving me the trouble of saying nearly word for word what you said.
Gopherit v2.0: What the hell is “health freedom.” What the fuck is wrong with these sheeple?
I don’t think that “The People 2.0″ should have ever gotten past beta. Too many bugs.
Securicom: Oh mighty Banhammer! Which slew many an asshole! I summon thee! (Bass drum begins pounding). By the blood of Big Tonsils! (chorus begins to rise, ooooohhhhAAAHHHH!) By the mucous of Chief Payne! (Bass louder, chorus OOOOHHHAAAHHH!) Smite thou this Paultard–send him to Redstate, him, his cat and his mom. (Cuts get quicker, jerkier). Stop, silence, freeze on: “To secure these rights, governments were instituted among men…”
edgydrifter: THANK YOU. The good doctor is marvelous. And some of his supporters are rational as well. I might even be one, were it not for the fact that the campaign is for naught. But too many are crazy ‘tards. Just like not all EIGHTEEN MILLION hillary voters are hilltards. only a very, ahem, “special” class receives that honor
WadISay: So say we all.
Jeez. Even the Founders knew how to punctuate, Paultards. That whole video is [sic].
I haveChicagobama: And I have no respect for people who don’t know the different between “its” and “it’s.”
Argh, dumb reply thingbot. And now my criticism of Paultard grammar is moot.
This video takes Paultardian pretentiousness to a new level. How can we take them seriously when they spell “its” “it’s” and “whose” “who’s”? These are not typos. These are signs that the authors don’t read. But then, what am I complaining about? That’s why we call them “Paultards.”
I think that either Sarah or Liz needs to wear a wire and a shirt with a superhero logo on it to one of the Paultard afterparties. The next day, our Wonkette treats us to A Children’s Treasury of Paultards Ineptly Hitting On The First Girl They’ve Seen In Two Months. Think about it, 3 hours of party time boiled down to ten minutes of IT Virgins, decked out in their least masturbation-stained pair of Dad Jeans, trying to be impressive with their “World of Warcraft” stats and impromptu, hammered-on-piss-beer rants about how The Supreme Court secretly prints all The Bilderberg Group’s money.
Hey, leave the Paultards alone on the grammar front. They’re just using Original Intent spelling. Sam Adams couldn’t spell cat if you spotted him the c and the t, because he was drunk all the time. And Victor Hugo was a fucking Frog; he probably spelled it wrong in the original French.
Lazy Media: Sam Adams–brewer, patriot, mayor of teh gays. The man has range.
“A Paul campaign aide said the Texas congressman hopes to pack about 11,000 supporters into the Williams Arena.”
Just how many short buses will be needed for that?
Our country will stand in need of IT’S experienced patriots to prevent IT’S ruin.”
Awesome. I just love comma abuse. It’s a sign of high intelligence.
No. Wait…
Didja hear that? I’m needed!
Some of the many reasons for why I hate Wrong-Paul:
1. Ron Paul’s obsessive love of the FoundingFatherland and Freedom sounds suspiciously like the political F-word that ends with “ism.”
2. Ron Paul hates democracy and one of his more recent presentations included a JBS propaganda film showing the evils of democracy.
http://www.jbs.org/node/8022
3. Ron Paul has instilled all of his followers with amnesia to absolutely forget all of the racist crap he wrote before becoming a guru for loser libertarian basement nerds.
http://www.tnr.com/politics/story.html?id=74978161-f730-43a2-91c3-de262573a129
4. Ron Paul’s followers believe in a package set of conspiracy theories that are all linked together.
5. Ron Paul’s supposed antiwar attitude is really just an extension of his xenophobia.
Securicom: How’d you get in again?
Wrong-Paul’s obsessive love of the FoundingFatherland and Freedom sounds suspiciously like the political F-word that ends with “ism.”
At the same time, Wrong-Paulhates democracy and one of his more recent presentations included a JBS propaganda film showing the evils of democracy.
http://www.jbs.org/node/8022
Funditutionalism - Democratic checks n’ balances + Guns Galore - Spelling ability = ?
Better bring inhalers and zit cream instead.
i think i like paultards better than the pantsuits old bitter-sad panda harriets though.
higher production values.
Securicom:
Ypu are just so fucking hilarious. And you ask “Why call them tards?” Well, because you are one and you DON”T EVEN FUCKING REALIZE IT.
Quacker:
Fuck! “You”….
ladymacbeth: What if they mated? Horror-diamonds!
WOW!
Leni Reifenstahl is making videos for the Paultards & she’s dead for a few years!
Unindicted Co-Conspirator: Riefenstahl heard Ron Paul speak at a rally in 1982 and was mesmerized by his talent as a public speaker. Describing the experience, Riefenstahl wrote: “I had an almost apocalyptic vision that I was never able to forget. It seemed as if the earth’s surface were spreading out in front of me, like a hemisphere that suddenly splits apart in the middle, spewing out an enormous jet of water, so powerful that it touched the sky and shook the earth.” She vowed to keep making films for him even from Lucifer’s Studio under the present location of Paulville.
How’d that happen? I wrote one post that didn’t get in for an hour or so then I remembered there was a rule or something about not using two weblinks, so I shortened it and used just one link, then several hours later the original is there. Blush, blush. Sorry!!!
Let’s not sully the good (nerd?) name of Lord of the Rings with ridiculous Paultardedness!
Darehead: don’t you think that might be some kind of incest?
@securicom - can you believe the amount of sheeple here? no wonder the collapse of this country has been so easy. i’ll bet they can tell you who’s on american idol though. idiots
@WadISay - are you really the comic book guy from the simpsons? time to come out of mommies basement!
back up your candidates with facts. what i see here are people that know absolutely nothing about the constitution. have you all forgotten whay you learned in school? or were you too busy picking your nose and eating it to ever learn anything. i think it’s hilarious the way you sheeple think you know about the government. it’s like bringing a knife to a gun fight… brainless, uneducated idiots.
@securicom:
And now you have an even crazier Paultard with you.
Mel Gibson’s crazy as a fucking loon dad is a Paultard!
Extra, read all about it:
http://www.tmz.com/2008/06/11/mels-dad-vote-for-ron-paulcalypto/
What paultards need is some more positive energy from my yoga class.
Maybe we should write letters to Obama so he can ask the department of education
to initiate some grants for them to apply for? My brother got a grant and now
he has a studio apartment in Minneapolis!