• May 26, 2012
BARACK OBAMA

June 10, 2008

Ich Bin Ein Swarthy Voodoo Doll

by Jim Newell  

Here’s a doll of “Onkle Barack,” as crafted by a renowned artisan from Nazi Germany. It only costs 139 Euros, which is like 200 or 300 Ameros, so you all can buy it and sleep with it because you like him so damn much, rotten kids… [Some German Online Store, Spiegel]

{ 53 comments }

shortsshortsshorts June 10, 2008 at 2:25 pm

“Präsidentschaftskandidaten”

HOLY SHIT that’s a long word.

metropolitan June 10, 2008 at 2:26 pm

uhm, that’s not barack. he’s got a flag lapel pin on him!

Domestic Goddess June 10, 2008 at 2:29 pm

I love the procession of the tags. From the beginning to the end, it looks a lot like no matter what, terribly things have been done, and will be done, to the jews. the end.

The Real JR Revisted June 10, 2008 at 2:30 pm

It comes with a disproportionately large dildo attachment and a switchblade grip. And if you get it wet after midnight, it instantly produces a lot of babies that you will have to take of. Just keep it away from the cabbage patch display. And it has the ability to jump, unlike its caucasian counterpart.

Also, it trains your beanie babies to fight to the death, and its makes all your Barbies their bitches.

(Okay, I’m starting to depress myself with these stereotypes. I need to just walk away from this now.)

Cookie Guggelman June 10, 2008 at 2:31 pm

What you talkin’ ’bout, Barry?

AxmxZ June 10, 2008 at 2:32 pm

Insert tar baby joke here.

Domestic Goddess June 10, 2008 at 2:33 pm

it’s blacker than barry is. made by the GOP and funding Walnuts maybe??

Gopherit v2.0 June 10, 2008 at 2:33 pm

That doll is hardly adequate.

tonashideska June 10, 2008 at 2:34 pm

Is this mcsame’s black child?

HollowBrain June 10, 2008 at 2:35 pm

I bet that doll sure could use a nice Colt 45.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 10, 2008 at 2:36 pm

The Germans obviously had no idea that this was actually McCain’s black baby.

AngryBlakGuy June 10, 2008 at 2:37 pm

…FUKKIN RACIST! That isn’t Barack Obama thats FUKKIN GARY COLEMAN!!!

bitchincamaro June 10, 2008 at 2:38 pm

[re=12293]HollowBrain[/re]:
Beat me to it.

tsunami June 10, 2008 at 2:38 pm

[re=12293]HollowBrain[/re]: I bet that doll sure could
use a nice Colt 45.

nothing says ghetto president like a 40.

shortsshortsshorts June 10, 2008 at 2:39 pm

[re=12286]AxmxZ[/re]: http://www.crooksandliars.com/2008/05/16/rep-tom-davis-uses-term-tar-baby-in-gop-memo/

The Reptards love those kind of jokes.

choinski June 10, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Sorry, the Clinton Nutcrackere still wins

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/6/9/071/49096/41/524741

El Bombastico June 10, 2008 at 2:40 pm

“Offermann explained that he was forced to adapt an off-the-shelf black doll’s head for his tribute to Obama, which is his first attempt at making a black doll.”

You don’t say!

Gopherit v2.0 June 10, 2008 at 2:40 pm

I found a picture of the McCain doll they’re selling, too:
http://amazingcheeze.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/doughboyleft.gif

NotUrEvryDayWEzl June 10, 2008 at 2:44 pm

[re=12299]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Come on, they’re german, what do you expect? The only way they can tell the difference between a jew and an italian with their big noses is that cute little patch they make the former wear.

PeteJayhawk v2.0 June 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=12269]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It’s really not that complicated; it’s just “Presidencycandidate”.

shortsshortsshorts June 10, 2008 at 2:49 pm

[re=12299]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: Seriously Wonkette loves Gary Coleman like the Germans love Hasselhoff.

Lascauxcaveman June 10, 2008 at 2:52 pm

Mr. Mugabe, your Mini Me is ready.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 10, 2008 at 2:52 pm

I understand that the doll has a compass built in, so you can face it toward Mecca and have it pray.

shortsshortsshorts June 10, 2008 at 2:53 pm

[re=12328]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: And “Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz”
means “mad cow disease” apparently. Are all the letters really necessary?

http://german.about.com/library/weekly/aa010300a.htm (eatshootsleaves has taught me to cite my crap).

Gopherit v2.0 June 10, 2008 at 2:54 pm

[re=12336]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: So, are the prayer rug and AK separate accessories?

freakishlystrong June 10, 2008 at 2:58 pm

It’s Sambo-esqe, and they totally fucking missed on the big….EARS….

daneellaw June 10, 2008 at 2:59 pm

The real test will be when you take his pants off. It’s the only way to be certain.

wallythepug June 10, 2008 at 3:00 pm

Nope, the ears aren’t right.

bitbull June 10, 2008 at 3:01 pm

[re=12338]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: no, but they are throwing a cabin into the deal!

AxmxZ June 10, 2008 at 3:04 pm

[re=12337]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: It’s actually a law having to do with oversight of potential transmission of mad cow disease. Agglutination FTW.

Wiki sez:

“The longest German word verified to be actually in (albeit very limited) use is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz. [which, literally translated, breaks up into: Rind (cattle) - Fleisch (meat) - Etikettierung(s) (labelling) - Überwachung(s) (supervision) - Aufgaben (duties) - Übertragung(s) (assignment) - Gesetz (law), so "Beef labelling supervision duty assignment law".]“

PeteJayhawk v2.0 June 10, 2008 at 3:04 pm

[re=12337]shortsshortsshorts[/re]: In German, rather than having a phrase to describe something (especially one where the words are connected with hyphens), you just combine all the words of a phrase to create one longass word. Words like that aren’t actually used in conversation, at least not generally.

AxmxZ June 10, 2008 at 3:05 pm

Obama is a doll, all right, but not this doll.

Gopherit v2.0 June 10, 2008 at 3:07 pm

[re=12337]shortsshortsshorts[/re]:A little visit to the google translator produces:

Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz = labelling monitoring tasks transfer law

So, more likely, it’s the German word for how they prevent Mad Cow from coming into the country, but it’s close. Gotta love how literal they are.

Rinderwahnsinn is their word for Mad Cow….probably because verruckt Kuh sounds so cute.

shortsshortsshorts June 10, 2008 at 3:10 pm

[re=12359]PeteJayhawk v2.0[/re]: [re=12356]AxmxZ[/re]: Do you know what is awesome?
Both of you. That was definitely FTW, and I have actually learned something on a blog, which is undoubtedly unique. Back to “Infowars” for some dumbing down before it’s too late.

WadISay June 10, 2008 at 3:11 pm

McCain is going add these to his website store, 4′ high and holding a red ring, sold as “Lexus Lawn Jockeys.”

TGY June 10, 2008 at 3:18 pm

139 eu? What’s it filled with? Crack?

shortsshortsshorts June 10, 2008 at 3:19 pm

[re=12364]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: And I’ve already prostrated to you, but see comment to PeteJay and AxmxZ, above

AxmxZ June 10, 2008 at 3:28 pm

[re=12364]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: Verrueckte Kuh… there’s an Angela Merkel joke in here somewhere, I just know it.

vicuna June 10, 2008 at 3:29 pm

A Ken doll with a bicycle would be a vast improvement.

Here’s a wardrobe, including a courier bag.

http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=3006529

AxmxZ June 10, 2008 at 3:30 pm

[re=12387]TGY[/re]: Choom, actually, wrapped in arugula.

AxmxZ June 10, 2008 at 3:32 pm

[re=12408]vicuna[/re]: Accessories include a bike helmet, a dorky polo, and jeans stolen from Barbie after she got too fat for them.

vicuna June 10, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Inadequate Blackmail June 10, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Well, I hope there’s no question about whether Obama-baby is “black enough”…

loquaciousmusic June 10, 2008 at 4:24 pm

Das ist nicht racial transcendance!

StrangelyBrown June 10, 2008 at 4:31 pm

I’m starting to feel pretty vindicated for my earlier published remarks. But this is still par for the course: Germany is stuck in some kind of 1950s race relations hell, and all the stereotypes we used to have in the US are still very much alive over there.

Here;s a glimpse of their upcoming Michelle Obama doll: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d6/PDVD_002.jpg

Doglessliberal June 10, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Look, this IS Gary Coleman. It really is.
I bet some weird German bought a truckload of Gary Coleman dolls from some surplus outfit and figured “eh, the Schvartzes all look the same, who will know” and marketed them as Obamas.

Doglessliberal June 10, 2008 at 4:40 pm

the ears are right on this one, but for some reason, he is monotone
http://www.politicalwobbles.com/Bobbleheads_c_1.html

(John McCain looks like a conehead)

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 10, 2008 at 5:00 pm

[re=12338]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: You can buy them seperate, but the best deal is to get the Muslim Jihadist Play House/Bomb Factory set. It comes with everything.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 10, 2008 at 9:27 pm

That’s just scary and wrong.. Does it sing ‘My Mammy’?

graceless June 10, 2008 at 9:39 pm

It’s Webster, with a tan.

schvitzatura June 10, 2008 at 9:54 pm

SchvartzePuppe!

On that same note, I’m sure the Fourth Reich-ers helped to vote this 300-inspired YTMND to the top of the 300 category:

http://spearupyourass.ytmnd.com/

Constance Bradley June 11, 2008 at 12:46 am

I’ve made dolls … it’s not that hard to get a variety of skin tones for black dolls. Takes a bit longer in the design phase but it’s worth it when you want to do it right.

But who cares about that when you can make a little mammy type doll to chuckle over with your German friends?

ja January 23, 2009 at 7:30 pm

that baby demon doll is terrifying. no joke. that’ll come off the shelf at night and attack you in your sleep.

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: