Wonkette
John McCain enjoys a well-deserved reputation as a charismatic, maverick jokester with a devastating wit. Plus, he likes Ernest Hemingway, so he knows good writin’! So it’s no surprise that, a minute and a half into an interview with Brian Williams, he would bust out with a fantastic bit of silver tonguery about Barack Obama being the second coming of Jimmy Carter — and then laugh uncomfortably at his own joke while Brian Williams asks, “Why do you say that?” See the excruciating footage after the jump.
You see, Barack Obama likes sweater vests, just like Jimmy Carter. Obama was also once a southern peanut farmer with lust in his heart. That was before the Muslims taught him about hate and fisting, though.
One-on-one with John McCain [NBC Nightly News]
He can hardly contain his smirking and giggling to himself from the get-go.
Hemingway also called his women “cunt” and beat them mercilessly, so I can see the relation.
He also threatened to veto beer today, which means Mitt Romney is already his running mate.
“because, uh, spend, spend, tax, spend.”
no amount of sarcasm could do justice to this bit of ripostery.
It looks like the right side of his face is asleep. WALNUTS! did you have a stroke after your joke fell flat?
Under no circumstances so I want to go “One-on-One with John McCain”. To give him credit one suspects Brian Williams didn’t want to either.
WITNUTS!
I’m sure if his presidential bid bottoms out, he’ll always have a slot at the Punchline, or perhaps a nursing home stand-up (or sit-down) comedy act.
…you liberals are so dumb you don’t you see the obvious correlation between Jimmy Carters failed attempt at rescuing our diplomats from the Iranians and Barack Obama’s wanting to appease Ahmadinejad and the Ayatollah!
Man, he really is a creepy assed mofo.
Also:
Tax & Spend > Don’t Tax & Spend
Come on, this is just maths again, people.
It’s insane. Seriously. Every time I see the name “John McCain,” I interpret it as “WALNUTS.” I don’t even recognize McCain anymore. What the hell is going on here?
John McCain is “prepared to emphasize that we need to exercise every bit of innovation” What can Barack Obama say to that? Is he also prepared to emphasize our need to exercise not just some but all of our innovation? Americans need to know.
I’m not a big fan of blonde’s but that’s one lovely head of hair over B-Will’s left shoulder. Much nicer than McCain’s disguisting catcher’s mitt of a face.
Sputter…misspeak….sputter…give snaggle-toothed urine colored smile…sputter….
This guy is going to debate B. Hussein “Mr. Slick” Obama? Gag me with a pitchfork.
AngryBlakGuy:
I wasn’t born yesterday. Nor was I born in the century McCain was,
but I get your correlation.
Jimmy even spoke to Palestinians like Barry who wants to speak to Iranians.
If the choice is Bush’s third term or Jimmy’s second, I’m going with Jimmy.
Hey, it’s tough delivering witty one-liners when your jowls are full of your wife’s spare douchebags.
…when I watch that video I swear the GOP has enlisted the help of the Disney animal-tronics devision to re-animate WALNUTS! corpse(”Weekend at Bernie’s” style).
Also, I take issue with the headlines. That’s not a one-liner, that’s a flat-liner.
The good news is that McCain’s stammering, non-sensical response to Williams proves that he’s not wearing one of Bush’s earpieces.
The good news is that McCain’s stammering, nonsensical response to Williams proves that he’s not wearing one of Bush’s earpieces.
If there’s one thing for which John McCain is known, it’s his respect for cun….err…women.
Apollo? Marshall? Big Government spending, those plans? Gotcha, Johnny Boy.
Remember Bush’s “Want some wood?” joke? Yeah, now I’m worried.
AngryBlakGuy: In which connection, did Brian Williams say, “a la the Apollo Program,” or “Allah! The Apollo Program”?
Ouch…Williams’ seemed to kinda cut McCain’s laughter short.
What they didn’t show you was McCain getting up from his stool and not wearing any pants, then the orderlies come by and feed him his meds.
Darehead: I smell 1960’s Reagan tactics, which is of course disgusting because Reagan is a rotting carcass who’s been burned to a crisp.
Did we catch Brian Williams actually doing his job here? I wonder if any other fourth estaters will take note and see how it’s done. Could be interesting for them.
With the high quality of today’s talking heads I could see the exchange going more like this:
McC: “… second coming of Jimmy Carter.”
THead: “Nyuk nyuk. Good one, ha. Jimmy Carter. What a loser.”
Jesus Christ, Walnuts, you suck!
“Uh…spend, spend, tax, spend.” What kind of shit is this?
AngryBlakGuy: They cut the scenes when Brian swats the flies on his forehead.
Poor Brian Williams. He was just happy that this interview took place by satellite. No one wants to smell that.
shortsshortsshorts: You know what…. correction. 1980 election tactics, which are still stinky.
“bomb bomb bomb… bomb bomb Iran.”
Has he had a stroke? srsly, what’s up with the left side of his face? His left eye is almost completely closed. How poetic.
I’d like someone with superior internets tubes skills to take the beginning sequence of him smiling like a zombie and played against a background of violence in Eye-wreck. Caption being, Are the 100 years over yet?
Also, where oh where is John take-no-prisoners Edwards in this? Every time I hear tax and spend I want JEdwards to appear in full rage ala Robin Hood saying yes, tax and spend, but of the rich for the poor Sen McAsshat.
You know, McCain’s laugh is nearly as bad as Hillary’s. I wonder if we will get a lot of press converage of it?
But let’s all rejoice! Disco is back!
shortsshortsshorts: Well I just looked at the MSM and expected to see headlines for McCain’s New Apollo and Marshall Plans, but I guess they are having technical difficulty getting the old tools to work.
Did anyone bother to ask University of Tennessee if their Body Farm is missing a corpse?
Dave J.: He’s simply explaining the basic function of government and what it does with sovereignty.
First, the government taxes people.
Second, it uses that money to provide a service.
All this is moot in Paultard land though, where the lack of an FDA results in universal Tomato-DEATH.
Can’t wait for all those town hall meetings Walnuts is proposing. It will like Nixon and Kennedy in 1960.
And, while I hate to admit the source, as I heard this morning on Fox News while flipping through, when you compare Obama to Carter, most people are going to think of the kindly guy who helps world peace and build houses for the poor. I’m just waiting for McCain to use a President he knows better, like Wilson or Jackson.
When he says “they”, ie: “they know me”, who’s he talking about, US?? Pantsuit-People? Who?
The Republicans had all kinds of fun with John Kerry and his horribly stilted and obnoxious speaking style. Karma is a bitch. And she’s wearing a McCain suit.
“Deservéd” …
McCain the poet. McCain the orator. McCain the second coming, no the result of the second cumming of cicero with a roman harlot.
shortsshortsshorts: Shorts where ya been, there’s Paultards sneaking around everywhere…ooooh….
Oh and note to Walnuts! We the people are tired of old, white guys fucking with us, at least with Obama, we’d get dinner and a movie first!
McCain is stoic, gritty, hard-drinkin’, woman-beatin’ Hemingway to Obama’s fruity, fancy, elitist F. Scott Fitzgerald.
…lemme get this straight WALNUTS! is trying to out maneuver Barry’s “Third term of Bush” attack with a reference to Jimmy Carter?! The GOP is in a lot more trouble than originally thought!!!
John McCain just won my heart.
I think its funny that McGrumpy “borrowed” Barry’s campaign slogan and website look. Of course, this was after “Tippecanoe and WALNUTS Too!” tanked.
I think John is jealous of Jimmy Cater because Willie Nelson won’t smoke pot with him.
Ronald Reagan saved our hostages by selling guns and dope, and trading spare parts for Iran’s air force, that we built for the former dictator. Oh, not to mention a Bible and a Birthday cake. What are the odds McCain will win the Nobel Peace Prize?
Be sure to stop and replay it at 1:34, when McBush catches the sharp tone of Williams saying “Why do you say that?” Classic deer in the headlights. His eyes pop a bit. Hilarious.
Does he mean the guy who warned us thirty years ago that the oil was all going away and that we’re fucked if we don’t do anything about it? Yeah, I hate that guy. The moran!
Servo: …they tag all their bodies, so check his ankle for for cadaver tag!
Out of genuine curiosity, did taxes or spending actually go up during the Carter administration? (Or “spend, spend, tax, spend,” as Walnuts so eloquently put it.)
AngryBlakGuy: This also means that John McCain envisions himself, with all the delusions of grandeur that senility can produce, as Ronald Reagan.
McCain is actually running for Chester A. Arthur’s second term.
Sorry Steve Miller, Walnut’s Joker
Some people call me the Maverick, yeah
Some call me the Walnuts of Repubs
Some people call me Asshole
Cause I’ll speak for pandering of votes
Everyone goofs on me, baby
Say I’m way too confused, way too confused
Well, don’t you worry baby
Don’t worry
My views are out there, left here, down here, right here at home
Cause I’m a sucker
I’m a fucker
I need (teeth) white’ner
And I’m a Bush lover
I show my jowls on the tube
I’m the joker
I’m a (plane) smasher
I’m a trollop poker
I really love to bomb someone
Cause I’m a sucker
I’m a fucker
I need (teeth) white’ner
And I’m a Bush lover
I grin poorly on the tube
I’m the joker
I’m a (plane) smasher
I’m a trollop poker
I really love to bomb someone
Wooo wooooo
I’m the neediest thing
That you’ll ever see
I really love you bitters
Want to take your votes
Lovey-Clinton, Lovey-Clinton, Lovey-Clinton all the time
Ooo-eee baby, Ill sure show you a good time (in Iran)
Etc ad nauseum
Josh Fruhlinger: I don’t know, but Bush’s strategy has been spend, borrow, spend, borrow and spend.
So - Jimmy Carter didn’t work - how about “Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s 5th term”?
time to fire up the deloreon.
Horrible joke. Better than Dane Cook though.
Darehead: Sad work-travel-eality land stepped in the way of happy-dream Wonkette land. Particularly with airports charging $3,000 a minute to use the interwebs. You say the Paultards walk among us though? Me thinks its time for some blog-intervention.
I keep expecting him to slam his fists into his cheeks to make the pus explode out his mouth, a la John Belushi in Animal House.
…HONESTLY guys! Am I the only one that expected him to say at some point during the interview:
“Now witness the firepower of this fully operational battle station!”
http://cache.jalopnik.com/assets/resources/2008/03/Emperor-Palpatine.jpg
Is it bad that I feel bad for this old guy? I feel like somehow convincing him/the RNC to steal some cash from Cindy’s purse and jet off to Cheney’s compound in Paraguay for the next 5 months. It really wouldn’t make a difference in the General, would it? If anything, the less people see of him, the better he’ll do, right?
ManchuCandidate: You MC have some mad skilzz…
Wow, what a zinger, McCain. I’m sure that all of the guys down at the retirement home thought that was pretty spectacular.
But the median age in the US is 37. Most people were kids when Carter was president. Obama’s reference is relevant. Yours is not.
weirdiowasculpture: That is the worst mental image I’ve had to process in months.
AngryBlakGuy: This was more of a “soon the rebellion will be crushed and young obama will be one of us” kind of moment.
An Obama Presidency is shaping up to be a Brzezinski puppet-Presidency, just like Carter’s. McCrazy got one right.
Johnny_Zhivago: Hey man, assfucking the constitution is an expensive hobby. She’s a pricey bitch, you know.
||The Real JR Revisted ||
RE: Maths, is that the Rovian, “you are welcome to ‘your math’ and I am welcome to ‘the math.’ Oh wait he thought the Returdlicans were going to sweep in 2006.
Thanks, I’ll be in town all week.
I swear the NVA returned him to be a political Trojan Horse.
Someone on McCain’s team clearly decided that there were never enough areas where they can show their candidate as inferior to Obama, so they told John to match Barack smile for smile. Now parts of McCain’s face hurt that he didn’t know he had.
Keep on smilin’, Johnny!
So, apart from the ‘joke’, McCain’s point is that he’ll balance the books. Surely any President of the US should be representative of the people of the US and financial prudence ain’t it. Lets go spend our Stimulus Checks!
Of course he likes Ernest Hemingway; in the early 1900s, McCain taught him to how to read.
NotUrEvryDayWEzl: …actually you are right. The quote I posted would be more accurate if he was talking about Iran.
Servo: So, you think there are Viet Cong hiding in his cheeks?
Um, everyone commenting on his face knows about the melanoma, yes?
Did anyone else notice that just before he knee slapper, he said that we have to start “spending on our control”? I though he was against “spend … spend … spend …”
It’s only a matter of time before McCain slips up during an interview and does something insanely Creepshow - like, say, pluck out his own right eye, toss it in his mouth for a quick polish and then smushing it back in.
Who wants to bet that this will be in the “Obama jokes” section over at hcsfjm.com?
Carrie_Okie: Oh yeah math. Kinda like Enron-math, the scandal that time forgot, that initiated this era of good feeling.
So, who is everyone voting for here?
I’m voting for Ron Paul.
Hey you! McFuckface! I thought we told you not to smile.
We cannot possibly suspend belief in your sincerity from
now until November. Jeeebus.
I hate to give Mr. Crippled-Wife-Ditcher any advice, but seriously, Walnuts, Fire Salter’s ass right now and clean house with some actual professional political campaigners who know what the fuck they’re doing and don’t trot out stupid shit like “Change We Can Believe In” and “Gas Tax Holidays.”
1. The WALNUTS! economic plan will cut $100 billion of the discretionary budget.
2. Past and present earmarks account for $100 billion of the discretionary budget.
3. Therefore, the McCain economic plan will cut past and present earmarks.
The argument is sexy. I like logic games as well, WALNUTS! This is what you say?
1. Clouds are white and fluffy.
2. Sheep are white and fluffy.
3. Therefore, clouds are sheep.
Playaz Ball: Yawn! Come on. You can do better than that. You can’t just through a porterhouse into the tiger cage……you gotta make it interesting.
Gopherit v2.0: I want to fuck with him, but I know what I come up with will just end up being altogether disappointing.
Playaz Ball: You may pass.
mookworthjwilson: It’s hard to fuck with the non-violent Paultards.
Does this mean McCain expects Obama to win at least this first term?
McCain is older than:
(1937) To Have and Have Not
(1940) For Whom the Bell Tolls
(1950) Across the River and Into the Trees
(1952) The Old Man and the Sea
He was born the year “The Snows of Kilimanjaro” was published.
shortsshortsshorts: http://www.factcheck.org/elections-2008/the_budget_according_to_mccain_part_i.html
eatsshootsleaves: Yup.
It’s really this simple, my friends, your choice is ‘Tax & Spend’ versus ‘Tax & Bomb.’ You decide.
PS: @3:26- Allah the Apollo program? The Marshall Plan? Methinks BW is the cryptomuslim here!
wallythepug:
You just made me giggle like an imbecile at work. Thanks.
Bill_TX: My pleasure!
Creepy! If he could conduct electricity, McCain would be Uncle Fester.
I couldn’t watch.
Whats a “published”, snig?
‘Greetings ‘And ‘Salutations!! Brian was obviously overwhelmed with the
power & celebrity of John McCain! I mean (what else could he say?)
Hrm more noteworthy , what would “we” say? (^^)