Here’s a post from the “McCain Report,” which is one of several terrible blogs on McCain’s website. He’s trying to steal Hillary’s old ladies by posting videos from ABBA, a Swedish pop quartet from the ’70s. After Vietnam, John McCain had sex affairs with the two girls in this group before divorcing his crippled wife for yet a different mistress. “Seriously.” [John McCain via HuffPo]

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  1. He’s also a HUGE fan of the Iraq war, but that didn’t make it to the top 10. Oh well. 10 more Hillary supporters for WALNUTS!

  2. “ABBA?Do the kids think they’re groovy?Really.That’s not some commie acronym,is it?No?Then put some of their nickelodeon features on the that information roadway thingy you keep prattling on about,and don’t bother me any more tonight.I’m going to be in my masturbatoreum,perusing my photographic collection of the great Jennie Lindh.”

  3. Appropriate. A Republican advertising his affection for a group that once sang “Gimme gimme gimme a man after midnight…”

  4. Big, big mistake by McCain, since the logic goes like this:

    Hillary –> ABBA –> Sweeden —> Volvos —> College Professors —> Obama

  5. …if he really wants Hillary’s base of old, dried up, female, bitters he would start running adds during re-runs of the “Golden Girls” and “Love Boat”

  6. McSame…The GOP Dukakis.

    The GOP is already skepticle about him and when he loses…badly…to a black man…his name will officially be…Dukakis.

  7. From the title of this post, I thought I was going to be reading about McCain’s kinky white slavery ring. BAIT AND SWITCH, Wonkette. Shame on you.

  8. I think Natalie Merchant has a little more cachet with the Hilz crowd. Or that one Paul Simon album he did when he was African.

  9. Wow, the image of WALNUTS! doing the White Man’s Hustle to “Dancing Queen” circa 1979 with divorce papers in his pocket and sinning on his mind. I’m getting queasy.

  10. Is that just the old ABBA video, or do we get Rickrolled somewhere in there? Because I really don’t want to have to watch the whole thing to find out.

    Is it possible to get ABBArolled?

  11. Rules I Live By:

    (1) Never trust a man whose favorite bad is a palindrome.

    (2) Never trust a man whose favorite band is the rhyme scheme of the first quatrain of a sonnet.

    (3) Never trust a man whose favorite band has only two distinct letters in its name.

    (4) Never trust a man whose favorite band could be confused for the American Bed & Breakfast Association.

  12. [re=11146]Electric Zen[/re]: He’s trying to attract supporters, not send them screaming for the hills.

    McCain’s staff chose ABBA because they weren’t able to convert his wax pressing of “Yes Sir! That’s My Baby” to a digital format.

  13. Fucking Abba.

    I give them credit for the sweet synthesizer melody in “Gimme Gimme Gimme,” though.

    Barry needs to one-up Walnuts’ musical taste. Maybe make an appearance dressed in circa-1979 Commodores stage outfits.

  14. [re=11157]Serolf Divad[/re]: You forgot never trust a philandering rat bastard who probably was an eyewitness to each and every presidential assassination.

  15. [re=11140]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: His are already running ads during Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, but I’m telling you he’s missing a big market with Hallmark and Lifetime Channel.

  16. In 2000 he vehemently sang “take a chance on me” to the RNC, but they laughed at him and told him to sit like the loyal lapdog he has always been.

  17. Proof positive that McCain’s mind is hopelessly stuck in the 70’s–the era of bad music, loose women in Qiana dresses, and some pretty good weed.

    Not that there’s anything wrong with that…

  18. You can vote, you can cry, losing the Hils of your life
    See that Hils, watch that scene, reel in the Bitter Queens

    Election day and bitters low
    Looking out for a white to go
    Where they need the angry fems, getting in the swing
    You come in to look for a king
    Anybody could be that guy (except the black guy!)
    Election’s young and the music’s high
    With a bit of pandering, everything is fine
    You’re in the mood for a stance
    And when you get the chance…

    You are the Bitter Queens, old and mean, only sixteee!
    Bitter Queens, feel the beat from the tambourine
    You can vote, you can cry, losing the Hils of your life
    See that Hils, watch that scene, reel in the Bitter Queens

    You need McCain, you turn him on
    Kick Barry’s hopes and then you’re gone
    Passing on the brother, any white will do
    You’re in the mood for a stance
    And when you get the chance…

    You are the Bitter Queens, old and mean, only sixteee!
    Bitter Queens, feel the beat from the tambourine
    You can vote, you can cry, losing the Hils of your life
    See that Hils, watch that scene, reel in the Bitter Queens

  19. The first time I ever heard “Take a Chance on Me” was on The Office when Andy sang it to Angela. For me, that’s much more fun to think about than John McCain using that song to pump himself up before campaign speeches. Ew.

  20. I project “The Winner Takes it All” will be the soundtrack to many tear-stained hours at McCain headquarters come November.

  21. [re=11121]Rolo-tony-brown-town[/re]: Check yourself. At the door. Gimme some more. Gimme some more. Of those rolos! Seriously.

  22. [re=11162]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: WALNUTS! doesn’t even need to change the lyrics much!:

    Half past twelve (Isn’t that a little late for WALNUTS!?)
    And I’m watching the late show in my flat all alone (Sounds more like a Paultard, but, whatever…)
    How I hate to spend the evening on my own (Well, that’s what you get for supporting Bush’s own Gilligan! Or is he Thurston Howell, III?)
    Autumn winds (Yes, because he’s old.)
    Blowing outside my window as I look around the room (Blowing outside… hmmm, is that you Larry Craig?)
    And it makes me so depressed to see the gloom (We’re all depressed thinking about McCain as president, welcome to the club!)
    There’s not a soul out there (Because he sold it to George W. Boosh…)
    No one to hear my prayer (Again, because nobody is going to vote for McCain.)

    Gimme gimme gimme McCain after midnight
    Won’t somebody help me chase the shadows away
    Gimme gimme gimme McCain after midnight
    Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

  23. “Knowing Me, Knowing You” happens to be one of the best songs ever about divorce, and both couples in the band ended up splitting up, like everyone else in the seventies. It’s prolly not smart for McCain to remind people of divorce right now.

  24. [re=11155]StrangelyBrown[/re]: I can state with confidence that no one will Rickroll you in the middle of an ABBA video. I mean, what would be the point?

  25. ABBA? No, when John McCain was young, they were still playing music on rocks tuned to various pitches, striking them with fossilized lizard femurs. Hence ‘dinosaur rock’.

  26. “Dancing Queen”, may not be the image an ex-P.O.W. tough guy is looking for. Rudy could have pulled it off, but McCranky? Nah!

  27. Well, here I am after all the good snarking spaces are taken, so I shall take up the task of reminding everyone that ABBA did not want McCain to take their Chance.

    The Republican candidate, who had already been banned by John Mellencamp, the American rocker, from using his hits ‘Our Country’ and ‘Pink Houses’, found out that he has few fans in Scandinavia when he tried to adopt Abba’s “Take a chance on me” as his campaign song. After running into difficulties with the Swedish supergroup, McCain lamented to reporters on board his plane that it wasn’t as easy to play the song as he thought.

    “It gets expensive in a big hurry and if you’re not careful you can alienate some Swedes,” he joked.“If word gets out to Stockholm that we’re using Abba music, then there’ll be aworsening in U.S.-Swedish relations.”

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