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JOHN MCCAIN

John McCain Also Divorced Crippled Hippie Lifesavers After Vietnam

Thanks to Wonkette hippie operative “Joe” for sending us a shot of this hippie protest sign, which is exactly correct. The hippies did save John McCain, so that he could come back to abandon his newly crippled wife.


1:40 PM on Mon June 9 2008
By Jim Newell
2726 Views

  1. So hysterical in many, many ways.

  2. MadMangosteen says at 1:43 pm, June 9th, 2008

    I went to a pride festival yesterday and the Phelps people were there

    a guy was standing next to them with a sign that said “God blessed America and look what fucking happened” with an arrow directed at the Phelps people. it made my day

  3. Cicada says at 1:43 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Does this mean that if McCain wins, my long abiding hatred of hippies is validated?

  4. TJBeck says at 1:45 pm, June 9th, 2008

    The physical construction of that sign leaves something to be desired. Why did they cut out “POW” but not “A”? Those 10 sheets of paper probably killed six snowy owls.

  5. Shypixel says at 1:48 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Hippies! Hippies Everywhere! They say they want to save the world, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

  6. Tawmn says at 1:48 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Damned hippies.

  7. AngryBlakGuy says at 1:50 pm, June 9th, 2008

    …does this mean we can “thank” the Hippies for WALNUTS!? Somehow the tear-gas and severe beatings they received doesn’t seem all that bad.

  8. Canuckledragger says at 1:51 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Since WALNUTS! stayed in the Hanoi Hilton by choice, he was greatly irritated that hippie protests got him sprung.

    That is why he hates the hippies so. That and the fact that they keep trying to smoke his lawn.

  9. Lascauxcaveman says at 1:53 pm, June 9th, 2008

    HA! Those hippies are pretty astute when not wandering around in a marijuana-induced, patchouli-and-sandlewood-scented, macrame-entangled haze.

  10. graceless says at 1:55 pm, June 9th, 2008

    HIppies are people too. As far as I know…

  11. bitchincamaro says at 1:57 pm, June 9th, 2008

    TJBeck:

    Looks like they cut and pasted fonts from old
    issues of High Times. Not that I’m an expert.

  12. Serolf Divad says at 2:00 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Suddenly I hate those Goddamn hippies!

  13. RacerMex says at 2:01 pm, June 9th, 2008

    How dare you hippies!
    Don’t you know its a crimal offense to point out the flaws in an argument of a WAR HERO!

  14. forgot my id says at 2:01 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Another great demonstration of the law of unintended consequences.

  15. AngryBlakGuy says at 2:03 pm, June 9th, 2008

    …does this mean that the NEXT generation of WALNUTS! is wasting away in Iraq somewhere?

  16. floraway says at 2:05 pm, June 9th, 2008

    I would like to say that I am really happy that the general election has begun. Making fun of McCain feels a lot better than making fun of Clinton.

  17. WadISay says at 2:06 pm, June 9th, 2008

    If hippies had not brought McCain back, Rambo or the guys on Harley Hogs would have.

  18. upperleft says at 2:08 pm, June 9th, 2008

    As an un-reconstructed hippie, who smokes pot, but bathes regularly
    I would like to remind you that the hippies not only stopped a war, they
    started the environmental movement, the gay rights movement, supported the women’s movement,
    marched for civil rights, and generally added a great deal to the arts.
    Remember the Whole Earth Catalog? Did you know that the first blog was The Well, which
    can still be found at Salon.com? Did you know that the same hippies did both of those things?
    So, maybe you should thank the hippies for this thing you are doing right now.
    Sheesh, give it a break. Hint; The Monkee’s and Charles Manson weren’t hippies.

  19. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 2:09 pm, June 9th, 2008

    forgot my id: It’s almost like if we had let the Great War go on a little longer, we might have been able to off Hitler. DAMN YOU WOODROW WILSON!

  20. shortsshortsshorts says at 2:11 pm, June 9th, 2008

    WALNUTS throws hippies under the bus.

  21. TJBeck says at 2:11 pm, June 9th, 2008

    bitchincamaro: Was that the issue where everything was accidentally left at 72 point Times New Roman? Yea, that was a great issue.

  22. TJBeck says at 2:13 pm, June 9th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: Well, if we’d have let the Germans win, there would have been no need for a second world war. And we’d all be speaking German, and we’d have better beer. And a guy named David Hasselhoff would be a TV star.

  23. metropolitan says at 2:13 pm, June 9th, 2008

    if i didn’t protest the iraq war in 2003 we’d still be in iraq fighting right now.

  24. forgot my id says at 2:19 pm, June 9th, 2008

    upperleft: I HEREBY THANK ALL HIPPIES FOR ALL THE GOOD THEY HAVE DONE INCLUDING SAVING THE LIFE OF
    JOHN SIDNEY MCCAIN THE THIRD.

  25. tsunami says at 2:20 pm, June 9th, 2008

    upperleft…an un-reconstructed hippie, who smokes pot…
    Remember the Whole Earth Catalog?

    Yes. sort of. i remember the name, but i can’t picture it.
    oh god, i’m really trying, but i just can’t.
    i keep seeing a big black paper-covered book, but it says
    anarchist cookbook on the cover…not the same. reefer
    madness indeed.

    as for your list…well, OK, but what have hippies done lately?

    not much, really.

  26. MoodProcessor says at 2:26 pm, June 9th, 2008

    If there were no hippies, the 60s “cultural revolution” would have peaked with acoustic folk music. Imagine what life would be like if all we had to look back to was the intense warbling vibrato of Joan Baez. A Mighty Wind indeed. Gawd.
    Likewise, we probably wouldn’t have gone around another corner ended up with Disco.
    So, I guess there’s two sides to every story. Thanks, hippies.

  27. edgydrifter says at 2:26 pm, June 9th, 2008

    tsunami: Played a little hackey, listened to some Phish, sampled some tasty buds… don’t worry, the hippies are busy keepin’ on. At least here around here.

  28. edgydrifter says at 2:31 pm, June 9th, 2008

    edgydrifter: Strange that my posts today all have double words words. I must be flashing back to my UO days. Or maybe my computer is tripping. Something something.

  29. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:34 pm, June 9th, 2008

    upperleft: Damn straight! Yay Hippies. Hippies did it all. As a former star commenter, I hereby declare this a “Wonkette Unofficial Day Of Appreciation for Hippies (Who Bathe).”

  30. tsunami says at 2:37 pm, June 9th, 2008

    edgydrifter…I must be flashing back to my UO days.

    ah yes…the silliest question i used to get asked was…
    “how long does it last?”

    my best answer…maybe, a lifetime.

  31. Lascauxcaveman says at 2:39 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Gahhh! I keep forgetting not to hit “next” button and it zaps me back to the Orygone stump farm picture.

    Gahh! Flashbacks! (OK, I guess that fitting on Hippie Appreciation Day).

  32. madirishman says at 2:42 pm, June 9th, 2008

    upperleft: The Monkees WEREN’T hippies?

    My world-view is shattered. Take me now, Lord. I have no reason to live.

    And stop ragging on Charlie, man. Not cool at all.

  33. norbizness says at 2:44 pm, June 9th, 2008

    They only saved him so that they could spit on him with patchouli-scented saliva and taunt him with groovy new music he hadn’t been exposed to, like Vanilla Fudge and The Chambers Brothers.

  34. NotUrEvryDayWEzl says at 2:44 pm, June 9th, 2008

    TJBeck: Only the French would be speaking German. I highly doubt that Wilhelm would have invaded his grandmother’s realm. Then we’d still have the glorious British Empire, and maybe even a good old Ottoman Empire to keep that pesky South-west Asian area in line.

  35. nhunter says at 2:48 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Dave’s not here, man.

  36. madirishman says at 2:56 pm, June 9th, 2008

    nhunter: Wha…? C’mon, man, let me in. I think the cops saw me!

  37. Gopherit v2.0 says at 2:56 pm, June 9th, 2008

    So what they’re saying is, if there were no Hippies:

    -Vietnam would still be going, and McCain would be dead or a discredited commie sympathizer.

    -George Bush would have crashed his jet in a coke-induced haze, sparing us from both his presidency and his children.

    -Dick Cheney might have finally run out of deferment, and DeLay might have finally been drafted.

    -No Iraq.

    Fucking hippies.

  38. forgot my id says at 3:52 pm, June 9th, 2008

    In his book The Real McCain, author Cliff Schecter claims that John McCain made extremely ugly remarks about his wife Cindy McCain during a tirade witnessed by three reporters and two aides. “At one point, Cindy playfully twirled McCain’s hair and said, ‘You’re getting a little thin up there,’” Schechter writes. “McCain’s face reddened, and he responded, ‘At least I don’t plaster on the makeup like a trollop, you cunt.’ McCain’s excuse was that it had been a long day. If elected president of the United States, McCain would have many long days.”

  39. masterdebater says at 4:38 pm, June 9th, 2008

    And do you think it would matter to him? It would take the Cong alot more than 4 decades to crack “Walnuts” McCain…hippies!

  40. sleepy says at 4:56 pm, June 9th, 2008

    when will mccain’s anti-american confession that he signed as a pow re-surface? or has it already?

  41. Nuck' says at 6:37 pm, June 9th, 2008

    Alas the ever damning ripple effect, no mood lights, no lava lamps, no Hendrix… I think we could have done without these; naaaaaaaaaaah

  42. schvitzatura says at 10:30 pm, June 9th, 2008

    NotUrEvryDayWEzl: T.E. Lawrence is responsible for Hamas, Al Qaeda, PLO, etc., etc., ad nauseum. The Balfour Agreement led to 9/11.

    Albion’s revenge for Yorktown, obs…

  43. neilbco says at 2:12 am, June 10th, 2008

    Its a bad joke to say that if it wasn’t for the protestor McCain would still be a POW. Don’t get me wrong, I think he would be an awful president. I had friends who served in Vietnam who were spit on after they got back to the U.S. Its a dreadful memory for veterans to this day. Most of these men didn’t volunteer but were drafted and did what they felt was their duty. So lets not get carried away with this idea.

  44. Securicom says at 10:13 am, June 10th, 2008

    ‘Songbird’ McCain was never tortured:
    http://www.prisonplanet.com/articles/february2008/020708_never_tortured.htm

    Bilderberg Group info at infowars.com

    USA’s Constitution and currency are being destroyed from within. How? Videos free on http://www.video.google.com 1) America: Freedom to Fascism, 2 hrs; 2)911 Justice, 18min; 3) The Clinton Chronicles, 1.7 hrs; 4) Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement, 2 hrs, 5) Terrorstorm: A History of False Flag Terror, 2 hrs 6) 911 Mysteries, 2 hrs; 7)The Creature from Jekyll Island, 1hr; 8)Orwell Rolls in His Grave, 2hrs; 9) The War on Democracy, 1.5 hrs; 10) The Energy Non-Crisis, 1 hr; 11)Iraq for Sale 1.2 hr; 12) Zeitgeist, 2 hrs; 13)Ring of Power, 2.5 hrs; 14)Bush link to JFK, 1.5 hrs; 15) The Century of the Self, 4 hrs; 16) Loose Change (2nd ed & Final cut) 2hrs each; 17)John Pilger: The New Rulers of the World; 18) The Money Masters: How International Bankers Gained Control of America, 3.5 hrs
    Videos free on http://www.video.google.com 19) Barack Obama CFR info 20) Global Warming or Global Governance 21) The Great Global Warming Swindle 22) Mercury, Autism and The Global Vaccine Agenda 23) The CIA, Mind Control and Satanism 24)George Hunt: UN UNCED Earth Summit 1992 (Population Reduction) 25) End of NAtions - EU Takeover 26) Washington, You’re Fired 27) Blackwater: America’s Private Army 28) Esoteric Agenda 29) Fiat Empire: Why the Federal Reserve Violates the U.S. COnstitution 30) The Revolution Will not be Televised [USA overthrow of Hugo Chavez] 31) One Nation Under Siege 32)Breaking The Silence - Truth and Lies in the War on Terror, by John Pilger(and all his documentaries) 33)Beyond Treason 1.5hrs

    http://www.911truth.org/article.php?story=20041221155307646

  45. starstream says at 4:34 pm, June 12th, 2008

    reminds me of Star Trek, the 1st Enterprise Shatner had was the “Constition Class”
    then ‘what happened to it?

  46. starstream says at 4:34 pm, June 12th, 2008

    Constition=Constitution ( typo)

  47. starstream says at 4:35 pm, June 12th, 2008

    Constition= Constitution

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