Barack Obama Is On Your New Bicycle

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Dork.Here’s your formerly “cool” pretend boyfriend, Barack Obama, with Drudge’s sinister one word caption. In the long history of Democratic nominees for president looking like absurd douchebags, wearing a bike helmet is not the worst offense, but those stone-wash jeans and Dad polo shirt provide grim evidence that Barack really is half whitey. [Drudge/AP Google]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • NoWireHangers

    Mom jeans?

    (I’d still hit it)

  • Rolo-tony-brown-town

    Did he buy those jeans from a bitter?

  • toastandlove

    Hahaha, he looks like such a dweeb. Tucked in polo, no less! He is everyone’s Embarrassing Dad now. And yet…I still want to do him?

  • graceless

    The sneakers are the real problem.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    If BHO really wanted to be styling, he’d be stealing Spike Lee’s big pimpin’ velvet homburg. At least that would draw some attention away from the Dadpant Dockers and New Balance sneaks.

  • blowhard

    Uh, oh. This is why you have a rapid response team. It’s going to take a lot of photoshop to get that fat ass under control, untuck the shirt, make the bike less girly, and for god’s sakes, the shoes!!

  • graceless

    His bicycle needs a basket. And a little dog too!

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …the only thing that could make this photo any WORSE would be if he was wearing a FANNY-PACK!

  • ManchuCandidate

    I guess Barry is human after all. Not even he can make a bicycle helmet look cool.

  • capitol-hillbilly

    i hear they have some great windsurfing on lake michigan … at least the bike doesn’t look like one of those $4K jobs that kerry rode

  • wallythepug

    Let’s not forget, John Kerry had an $8,000 bike and hi tech bike clothes and participated in century rides, and he was considered an elitist. Let Barry look like everyone else’s dad, it’s good for his “everyman” image.

    That being said, I would have like to have seen him at least wear mountain biking shorts or something. And proper shoes. But that’s just me.

  • mookworthjwilson

    Please tell me he at least put some playing cards in the spokes to make that cool motorcycle sound…

  • jagorev

    [re=10822]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: F*ck you, Dockers are awesome!

  • Christastic

    So, Barack Obama is now the 40 Year-Old Virgin? Wonderful.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …is there anyway we can get of photo of WALNUTS! taking a ride in the park on his Rascal Scooter?!

  • obfuscator

    At least he doesn’t have those clips on his pantlegs.

  • DominicGwinn


    (I wonder if McCain remembers when the wheel was invented?)

  • Ken Layne

    [re=10833]jagorev[/re]: They look more “Old Navy” to me.

    This could be a brilliant ploy to make Barry look like less of a Hollywood elite black Muslim terrorist in a thousand-dollar suit, but jesus, it also looks like he raided Marshalls.

  • WadISay

    This picture would be slightly less un-cool if it turned out he had just stolen the bike.

  • CrunchyKnee

    At least he’s not rocking a single-track and a bunch of tats, that would really scare the bitters.

  • sleepy

    it’s too late now, of course, but i wouldn’t’ve minded seeing hill-dawg on a bike…

  • bitchincamaro

    We used to use balloons, but I suspect Barry will be
    tying McNutjob’s cheeks to his spokes quite soon.

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    I just want to live to see the day where a presidential candidate is seen riding this…

  • Da Derga

    All Barry needs to do is get himself photographed in a pair of pleated khakis and this election is in the bag. Bonus points if he wears his Blackberry clipped to his belt.

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    doh… getting used to new anti-HTML rules…

  • stankfest

    It looks like his first day without the training wheels.

  • stankfest

    He is going on a bike-date with Pe_WEe Herman.

  • mookworthjwilson

    [re=10849]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: This is how the POTUS should roll…

  • Gregory_of_Nazianzus

    Not even a road bike? What a commoner.

  • Paultardville

    I guess we know who that kid sold his bike to when he wanted to raise money for Hillary.

  • AngryBlakGuy

    …poor Barry, I think we all need to pitch in and get him one of these:

  • AngryBlakGuy

    [re=10849]Botswana Meat Commission FC[/re]: …damn it, you beat me to it!

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=10840]Ken Layne[/re]: Well, y’know, Old Navy is part of the Gap family, and Barry did sorta quasi-endorse the Gap back when. Maybe Barry’s involved in some sort of middlebrow fashion cabal so can he dispel his elitist image.

  • MoodProcessor

    …It’s alot faster than McCain’s High-Wheeler.

  • Harvey Birdman

    [re=10840]Ken Layne[/re]: You got your Gavin McInnes in my Wonkette.

    Also, that mud flap is ridiculous.

  • Josh Fruhlinger

    No, see, this is part of Barry’s master image plan. He’s all gorgeous and sexy and hot and stuff, but every once in a while he comes out with some super-dorky pic like this (recall also those pictures of Hopey wearing some kind of goggles that Newell so cruelly mocked) so that he still seems “accessible” and like you still have a chance with him. Then you see him in the thousand-dollar suits again and swoon.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=10854]mookworthjwilson[/re]: Hahahahaha! Word of warning, tho: if Barry shows up anywhere sporting Crocs, I’m calling Michelle and telling her to get out the whooping stick.

  • Botswana Meat Commission FC

    President Motherfucking Camacho!

  • ZombieRichardFeynman

    Oh, Barry, Barry, Barry. T-shirt, baggy shorts, cleated sandals and a good ol’ Murican touring bike like a Trek 520. Then you got my vote. Having had a helmet save what’s left of my brains more than once I think you’d best keep that.

  • RaptorAvatar

    Was it intentional that the drudge link talks about gas prices doubling in the past year? Either way, I don’t care if bike helmets look uncool. I ride my bike in a city where only half of the people on the road are from an ethnicity that can drive in the first place. If looking like a dorkus malorkus is the price I pay for not becoming a headwound mongoloid when one of them runs me off the road, I’m fine with that.

  • bitchincamaro


    Here’s McNutty’s bike:

  • MoodProcessor

    Gotta say guys, if he were really a dork, he’d have the elbow and knee pads to match. Betcha he popped a badass wheelie just after this pic was taken, right into a power slide.

  • Iggy Plop

    Truth of the matter – Barry’s a dork. Not a geek; a dork. But that’s cool, cuz otherwise a guy with that kind of talent and ambition would be more than a little scary.

  • Servo

    [re=10827]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: …from LL Bean and the chocolate lab with a bandana around it’s neck.

  • MoodProcessor

    [re=10871]bitchincamaro[/re]: That explains it – he built up so much internal pressure carrying that uphill that he blew his cheeks out.

  • TGY

    At least Democrats wear helmets.

  • Paultardville

    Looks like some elitist already got his refund check.

  • Serolf Divad


    Shouldn’t that wheel be covered in Guaymi inscriptions? After all, let’s not forget that McCain first came to fame as a captive of Spanish Conquistadors he was fighting alongside his Guaymi brothers in Panama.

  • Vanity Smurf

    Notice the attachment on the back that is there to hitch one of those elitist kid buggies to the bike. He pulls the kids around with this thing like any good liberal.

  • obfuscator
  • tsunami

    wait just a darn minute here…

    doesn’t bush ride a bike too?

    dammit. i knew there was no difference between them.
    this proves it…dems/repugs=masons/illuminati.

    we’re freaking doooomed, dammit.

  • Foofur

    I hope the press got to go on the bike ride. ‘Cause if the candidate goes bike riding, we’re supposed to go bike riding.

  • Mista Eko

    I call 10 hours until a YTMND-er splices Little Mac in a pink jumpsuit behind him.

  • StupidGeek

    But what was Michelle wearing?

  • I Am Not Your Gary Busey

    You just know he’s got Journey or Def Leppard cranked up to 11 on his internal soundtrack.

  • Thelema

    There is actually a fashion statement in this picture. The statement is: “I don’t care what the heat is, even if I’m cycling, you will not see the naked skin of the President below the neck”. He’s not being dorky, he’s being presidential.

    Compare with W cycling,

  • NoWireHangers

    [re=10909]Thelema[/re]: Oh, but we already have…

  • V572625694

    [re=10887]tsunami[/re]: No Bush rides something different:

  • catastrophina

    No no no you guys are missing the worst offence! The fender?? The fender on the back?!?!

  • catastrophina

    Sorry, that fender broke my brain

  • bitchincamaro

    farmer tan.

  • VTBen


  • sarcasticusername

    his poor kids they must be so embarrassed! apparently michelle was on this biking excursion as well, now i’m waiting for the photographic evidence of that!

  • Thelema

    [re=10935]catastrophina[/re]: look closely, it’s not a fender, it’s a bar for pulling his daughter’s bicycle.

    Notice how the photograph never, ever, took her once in the frame!
    Was that something arranged before (as in: “if you ever publish a picture of my daughter in this ugly outfit, you can kiss you WH credentials goodbye?”) Or is it: “The candidate is public wherever he goes, but the family is private”?

    By the way, the bicycle itself is a message for urban dwellers and cyclists: it’s the Trek 7000, 350 $, entry-level and unbreakable. Message: “I may dress ugly, but at least I’m not wasting 4000 $ on a stupid bicycle” (take that, John Kerry & George W).

  • Thelema

    [re=10925]NoWireHangers[/re]: Thanks, that picture totally made my day.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=10909]Thelema[/re]: [re=10932]V572625694[/re]: Bike helmet on ground in both pics. Explains everything.

  • CrunchyKnee

    [re=10935]catastrophina[/re]: Even though that is not a fender, those of us who rode bikes for transportation often enjoy the functionality of fenders. Functionality trumps elitist white people style any day.


    [re=10835]Christastic[/re]: So, Barack Obama is now the 40 Year-Old Virgin? Wonderful.

    Oh dear. Here Morgan Freeman had all of that steady work as Mr. Movie President. Now all of those roles will go to Steve Carell.

  • gurukalehuru

    …and then he’s off to clear some brush.

  • Lascauxcaveman

    Barry; you ever take it off any sweet jumps?

  • Lascauxcaveman

    [re=10964]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Eh, fenders are for people who actually ride in the rain on occasion. Commuters or serious exercise/recreational riders. I don’t think Barry’s doing any of that.

    Dorko. He needs a straight street bike with the classic ram’s horn bars. The older and crappier the better. Maybe a vintage USA made Schwinn Continental or a vintage Le Tour, if he want to get elitist.

  • problemwithcaring

    Thank GAWD that wasn’t a fender. I could NOT vote for that person…

  • junkscience

    Is he riding on the sidewalk? Pussy.

  • dearest

    The vast right-wing conspiracy has started. Drudge is leading it again.

  • AxmxZ

    That’s one angry black man. You just know he’s biking to the neighborood “Black Panthers” HQ to smoke crack and ponder enslaving Whitey.

  • Chuck Fildren

    This is why he’s the perfect candidate. He can look like everyone’s dorky dad for the whiteys and he’s look just as comfortable in a purple fur coat with rings and a pimp cane which he already has.

  • liquiddaddy

    I bet he’s stoned immaculate. His first time to use the ionizer since Wisconsin was before dressing up like a retarded child. Genius.

  • schvitzatura

    Steve Urkel/Stephan Urquelle chimera…Obama didn’t get his Cool Juice that particular bicycle-riding day.

    Family Matters was set in Chicago, mere coincidence?

  • Securicom

    Obama, Hillary and McCain work for the Bilderberg Group, see:

    Free on Google video, ‘One Nation Under Siege’. Through the research and personal testimony of over a dozen internationally distinguished authors, journalists, doctors, and military experts (Major General Albert Stubblebine) you will understand the massive and ceaseless control
    projected onto an unsuspecting populace by a government that may have finally crossed the line from a representative republic to a fascist empire. From the USA PATRIOT Act and the blatant disregard for the Bill of Rights to the outright tracking of every human being on the planet earth, you will be stunned by what U.S. government documents describe for the future of America. undersiegemoviedotcom

    USA’s Constitution and currency are being destroyed from within. How? Videos free on Google Video 1) America: Freedom to Fascism, 2 hrs; 2)911 Justice, 18min; 3) The Clinton Chronicles, 1.7 hrs; 4) Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement, 2 hrs, 5) Terrorstorm: A History of False Flag Terror, 2 hrs 6) 911 Mysteries, 2 hrs; 7)The Creature from Jekyll Island, 1hr; 8)Orwell Rolls in His Grave, 2hrs; 9) The War on Democracy, 1.5 hrs; 10) The Energy Non-Crisis, 1 hr; 11)Iraq for Sale 1.2 hr; 12) Zeitgeist, 2 hrs; 13)Ring of Power, 2.5 hrs; 14)Bush link to JFK, 1.5 hrs; 15) The Century of the Self, 4 hrs; 16) Loose Change (2nd ed & Final cut) 2hrs each; 17)John Pilger: The New Rulers of the World; 18) The Money Masters: How International Bankers Gained Control of America, 3.5 hrs Videos free on 19) Barack Obama CFR info 20) Global Warming or Global Governance 21) The Great Global Warming Swindle 22)Mercury, Autism and The Global Vaccine Agenda 23) The CIA, Mind Control and Satanism 24)George Hunt: UN UNCED Earth Summit 1992 (Population Reduction) 25) End of NAtions – EU Takeover 26) Washington, You’re Fired 27) Blackwater: America’s Private Army 28) Esoteric Agenda 29) Fiat Empire:
    Why the Federal Reserve Violates the U.S. COnstitution 30) The Revolution Will not be Televised [USA overthrow of Hugo Chavez] 31) One Nation Under Siege 32)Breaking The Silence – Truth and Lies in the War on Terror, by John Pilger(and all his documentaries) 33)Beyond Treason 1.5hrs

  • starstream

    I want to wear Crox at the beach myself actually…

  • john

    hes cool in my book