Wonkette
- Liberal clown Al Franken is now the Democrat candidate for Norm Coleman’s Senate seat because … who cares? [Minnesota Public Radio]
- Poor people with no public transportation options are, shockingly, being hit pretty hard by $4+ per gallon gasoline. [New York Times]
- There are crazy blogger people everywhere, covering campaign stuff for FREE. [Washington Post]
- Retail sales of shitty old corporate rock are fine, thanks to exclusive Wal-Mart deals. [NYT]
- It will cost a billion dollars to convince you people to vote for the presidential candidate you are already going to vote for. [SF Chronicle]
DAILY BRIEFING
How did this daily briefing happen so early? Does that mean the day starts early too, or just…? All y’all are confusing, but it’s 2 where I live so I’ll take it.
And knowing who made a deal with Walmart is a fantastic way to separate the good musicians from the bad musicians. Journey is the exception to the rule.
5 reasons:
He’s Good Enough, He’s Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Him!
Besides, Norm Coleman is W’s favorite butt-boy and the biggest hypocritical douchebag ever.
And Al came out to fight against Bush from the get-go, didn’t wait until after Katrina like so many other chicken-shits.
Gas is still $3.60 in Bittervilles out west. Pretty sweet. I mean, until the West Virginians and Kentuckyites start migrating out here en masse.
ronaldpagan: Hahaha. Here we are again! Beautiful mind-blower!
Well, well, well…look who came crawling back!
From the SFGate article:
He appeared last week with an eyepopping - or headache-inducing, some critics complained - forest green backdrop proclaiming him, multiple times, to be “A Leader We Can Count On.” It was a clear jab at his presumed Democratic rival Barack Obama’s slogan, “Change We Can Count On.”
Good Christ, have they even been following anything? If not, they could just look at the picture posted on their own goddamn website with the real slogan on it.
And apparently McCain’s new slogan is going to be “REFORM, PROSPERITY, AND PEACE.” How very 1984 of him.
McCain’s also thinking about these slogans:
“It’s Monday Morning Again in America”
“Ten Things for a Leader We Can Count On: Fingers”
“Kunter, Gentler Nation”
“Building a Bridge to the 21st Century” (are we there yet?)
“The Bitter Man for a Bitter America”
ronaldpagan: It’s just the two of us here! Maybe this is a dream!
Darehead: Haha. The only one I can think of is
“Go Walnuts for John McCain!”
And yeah, where is everyone?
This is the wrong place to say it but I’ll just say it. (Mostly because I hope something like this already exists and get its own Wonkette thread.) I can’t wait till the Hillary supporters start making Youtube montages of her finest moments, set to “Time of Your Life” or “Don’t You Forget About Me”.
Christ! I would like to wake up just one morning and not hear about gas prices. Is there anybody shocked by this anymore? It’s time to accept the truth, America!
ronaldpagan: Don’t give them any ideas!
Al Franken cannot be elected Senator, because his legacy of writing sarcastic and racy comedy scripts shows he hates America.
Servo: No I really want that to happen, 0% kidding. What about “A Hard Day’s Night”?
Just one more reason to avoid Wal Mart. Stuff like that makes me want to download Carrie Underwood from the ‘tubes out of spite. Which would be great if I actually gave a shit about soma disguised as “country” and didn’t care about my hearing.
I know you worked all day
And even sold your video games
And it’s worth it just to hear you say
You’re gonna vote for John McCain
ronaldpagan: Perhaps Wierd Al’s “Bohemian Polka”.
Hey can we talk about Roman Polanski? All I was gonna say was that it’s okay that Wonkette needs to get back on its feet by including sponsorships, especially if it’s gonna be all choosy and weed out the racist ads. And that I’ve been looking forward to that movie since Sundance. But the comments were off…that’s a little fascist, nein?
Oh, and you know what else? The Roman Polanski thread has 5 views, everything else has no views. Eerie…
Please don’t ban me, Wonkette. You could turn the W in your name into the Walmart symbol and I’d still love you.
The Republican strategy v. Al Franken is hysterical, but Republicans won’t understand the inherent humor.
You see, my friends, Al Franken used to be a comedian. That is, he told funny jokes and acted in funny sketches on television. He even wrote a couple of funny books. Also, we liberals often say that conservatives have no sense of humor. That is, you don’t understand what a joke is. Mind you, I’m not necessarily saying that that’s true, but that’s what we say. So, when you say that you’re going to attack Al Franken for various outrageous things he’s said over the years, you’re just proving that you don’t know what a joke is, and therefore proving that you don’t have a sense of humor. So, you see, we are not laughing with you, we are laughing at you. Get it?
re: Mayhill Fowler that lady sure has a talent for something, that’s for sure. If Helen Thomas is ready to pass the torch, my guess is she’s ready to run with it.
“McCain’s speeches are “beautifully written for the eyes - but not for the ear,” Sherman said. “The words are too big, the sentences are too long and too filled with clauses. They’re speeches from the last century - when they didn’t have TV and people were listening on the radio.” From SF Gate article.
These comments just write themselves sometimes.
Who could have seen this coming? Norm Coleman’s own bizarre family life could be an issue, but instead we will get to watch every wise-guy potty-mouthed thing Al Franken said during his lifetime get crammed up his kiester for 5 months. I swear, the weather or the hotdish have addled peoples’ brains around here.
WadISay: I Wikipedia’d him…what bizarre family life?
I’ve come here because there’s NO other place to discuss that FASCINATING HBO documentary about Roman Polanski! All the 18-34’s are abuzz with excitement!
This should get its own thread:
http://ak.imgfarm.com/images/ap/Obama_2008.sff_ILAB102_20080608130146.jpg
Mmmm. Barack on a bike.
Ronald: He thought his mother was his sister and that his grandmother was his mother… wait, that’s Jack Nicholson or something.
loquaciousmusic: In a helmet? PUSSY!
loquaciousmusic: …but the jeans make up for the helmet and weird goggle-esque sunglasses…
I want Al to win because he will snark the bejesus out of dumb asses on both sides of the fence…or course that means he will be on the border fence committee, but such is life.
loquaciousmusic:
He’s riding to some elitist boite, to dine on arugula salad and sip Chablis..Ahh..
gurukalehuru: AF is exactly the best candidate to deal with the stereotypical campaign tactics of the Repubtards. I am salivating with expectation. I’d love a regular update of every move.
Their every attack will be a delicious straight line for AF. Who better to meet their not-getting-the-joke with utter clear sarcasm AND a more viable alternative position? He will likely be drawn into dark waters, but I’m betting his every response will illuminate the petty & hollow intent of his opponents. Of course he’s been a naughty boy, but he’s also very sharp.
And a debate with Coleman? Pure gold.
btw, thanks Ken for the Hilz & bitters-free posting! In this heat it’s a relief.
ronaldpagan: What I’m wondering is how you posted 5 hours before the briefing is timestamped.
loquaciousmusic: Yea, not exactly lance armstrong there. Dorky helmet, shirt tucked into jeans, he’s in some odd gear*.
Not sure what he’s towing. I bet it’s two secret service guys in a wagon.
*a larger cog for both (like middle ring in the front and middle of the cassette in the back) has less resistance for the same gear ratio, keeps your chain from skipping off and allows easier gear fine-tuning.
ronaldpagan: He and his fairly foxy wife lived separate lives for a long time, she in LA where she modelled lingeree and tried to act; he, shagging cocktail waitresses in Saint Paul. This followed allegations of domestic violence, and other stuff, unsuitable for a family blog with a limited policy of libel insurance. Alas, all that is 5-10 year old news–about as old as Al Franken’s little gaffes–so I trust his staff is slipping saltpeter or depro-provera in his coffee lately.
Yeah, what’s up with the comments off on Polanski? Are you afraid of too many NAMGLA type comments?
gurukalehuru:
Dick Gregory and Pat Paulsen are old testaments to
Repub lack of humor. Franken will prob suffer the
the same fate, I fear.
Btw, I used to see him waddling down Broadway with his little backpack, upper
west side; was he stopping in Papaya King for a quickie?
He didn’t exactly have “WINNER” scrawled on his forehead.
You may be right… Democratic spinmeisters may want to lay off Swingin’ Norm for fear that the GOP will run 30 second spots from the movie where Al Franken was a leading man (!), One More Saturday Night. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091681/
TJBeck: Magic!
gurukalehuru: I think it’s because it’s an ad from HBO.
WadISay: Thanks. Any way you can direct me to said allegations? I’m intrigued.
TJBeck:
…and that seat is way too low for Daddy Long Legs.
ronaldpagan: Hey, this post is a phony! A big, fat phony! Hey, everyone, look! This post is a phony!
norbziness: My god that movie is bad…but I am hoping that he will be able to get Meshach Taylor to come out and campaign for him…
norbziness: You’re a phony, nor “bzi” ness.
Is gradual anagramization one of the sites’ new charming quirks, along with the 4.5-point font and the spartan privileges afforded commenters?
TJBeck: Allow me to answer. Please. Ronald and I had a simultaneous dream, in which this post appeared as a phantom and we simultaneously began blogging one another by pure snarkaleptic telepathy!!! Then when we woke up, it all came true!!!
Did anyone else gloat a little while reading the NYT article about gas prices and rural poverty? This is tha America those short sighted crackers voted for (twice), I’m still bummed about having to live in it, but at least they’re feeling the heat more than I am. After all, I can still afford to rent faggy movies and have steak stips and bacon on my arugula burger.
RaptorAvatar: It’s big lolz until you realize that you’re going to wind up helping to fund their welfare checks that they collect because they can’t make enough money at their jobs to pay for their gas.
how much will it cost to not convince me to vote for the candidate for whom I don’t plan to vote?