BARACK OBAMA  2:19 am June 8, 2008

Michelle Obama Shock Tape: ‘God Damn You American Whitey’

by Ken Layne

Via everybody, but especially Balloon Juice and Andrew Sullivan and whoever finally brought this dark truth to light, here is the video that will ruin Obama’s campaign. You shouldn’t have given up, Hillary. And congratulations to President elect John McCain. [YouTube]

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Hola wonkerados.

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b bab June 8, 2008 at 2:26 am

I knew the tape was going to be bad, but I had no idea. I’m going to go send some money to right away. They must be stopped.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 2:31 am

First. (That is, I am the first white American voter to have experienced this particular rickroll).

I’m honored!

And I should be in bed. But instead, I’m at work, politely telling Japanese tourists the nearest place the can buy condoms. Ah, the glamorous life of an innkeeper.

jagorev June 8, 2008 at 2:34 am

This is a disaster. I have lost all of my faith in democracy and the American way. How could they do this to us?! After watching that video, I have no choice but to leave for Canada.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 2:34 am

[re=10411]b bab[/re]: OK I’m second.

Slutty_Chola_Cobbler June 8, 2008 at 2:37 am

I can’t hear the video, tell me what it says… please…

jagorev June 8, 2008 at 2:38 am

I was going to post the exact same thing on Youtube last night, but I went to sleep after Windows Movie Maker started acting finicky… by the time I woke up this morning, apparently half a dozen other people had had the exact same idea. Mine would have been much better though, because it would have been an actual Michelle Obama speech for the first 20 seconds. The guy who posted this wins on speed, but the execution is shoddy as hell. God, I remember the days when people took some pride in their rickrolls!

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 2:40 am

[re=10413]jagorev[/re]: [re=10411]b bab[/re]: Geez, guys. I’m at work. What’s your excuse?

jagorev June 8, 2008 at 2:44 am

[re=10417]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Cant sleep. Whitey will eat me.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 2:50 am

[re=10418]jagorev[/re]: OM NOM NOM NOM! (I’m white, so that’s funny. Right?)

ronaldpagan June 8, 2008 at 2:52 am

Well, now Hillary has a reason never to give it up or let us down.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 3:02 am

[re=10417]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I’m eating a bag of dicks..

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 3:04 am

[re=10418]jagorev[/re]: You were delicious, BTW. A little salty, though.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 3:06 am

[re=10420]ronaldpagan[/re]: She could tell a lie and hurt us (like a big ol’ bag o’ dicks)– what do we do? VP her?

ronaldpagan June 8, 2008 at 3:09 am

[re=10421]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: At least those are white dicks. If Michelle ate them, would it be racial transcendence?

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 3:13 am

[re=10424]ronaldpagan[/re]: thanks for gettin’ me back on topic..

ronaldpagan June 8, 2008 at 3:14 am

When will the Obama sex tape be leaked?

masterdebater June 8, 2008 at 3:18 am

I’m rolled….and a little nauseous.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 3:18 am

[re=10424]ronaldpagan[/re]: Speaking of white dicks, I wonder if that cute little Japanese girl (she came down with her boyfriend, in search of condoms) would like to see one.

OK, I think I may be steeping over the line of international hospitality here.

International Relations! HA! I am now a diplomat! Seriously, those 20-something Japanese girls are cute. They are a weakness of mine.

Never mind me, I only get this creepy when I’m drinking bourbon on the night shift.

AngryBlakGuy June 8, 2008 at 3:20 am

…fukk you wonkette!

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 3:23 am

[re=10426]ronaldpagan[/re]: I’m confident there will be a highly credible, hi-def video of Bary O gettin’it on with his kids’ 17-year-old French au pair girl before Nov 1. Despite the fact that the Obamas have never employed an au pair.

It’s an election year, after all.

ronaldpagan June 8, 2008 at 3:24 am

[re=10428]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I want to work someplace where I can get away with drinking bourbon! Don’t think you have a chance with that Japanese girl here with her boyfriend, though. Sorry.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 3:26 am

[re=10431]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: An O-face year?

heathenish June 8, 2008 at 3:28 am

this is just sick, you guys are sick, gawd!

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 3:29 am

[re=10431]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Is there an elevator in which you could both horrify and amuse her with your tiny member?

masterdebater June 8, 2008 at 3:31 am

[re=10426]ronaldpagan[/re]: …or the white girl sex scandal?

ronaldpagan June 8, 2008 at 3:32 am


Dear Fox News,

Audicity and I would both be happy to play the au pair. And, not to undermine Audicity, but I could pass for Arab. I’ll need to make sure your Barry lookalike meets my high standards, though; you people tend to think all “coloreds” look the same.


Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 3:36 am

[re=10434]heathenish[/re]: Right you are.

[re=10432]ronaldpagan[/re]: In my experience, any place you are the only employee on site after 10pm is a pretty good place to to be drinking bourbon on the job. It also helps if you are the general manager, as am I. It’s a really small hotel. Come visit, next time you are on the North Olympic Peninsula! Bring many young Asian girls with you. I will provide much bourbon.

Lascauxcaveman June 8, 2008 at 3:44 am

[re=10438]ronaldpagan[/re]: With your masculine screen name, I keep forgetting you’re a female.

How do feel about performing across Tim Meadows? I hear he’s looking for work these days. A little makeup and lighting; he could pass. I used to work for an ABC affiliate, I bet I could get an inside line to some FOX producers for a project such as this. There are A LOT of FOX producers who work strictly on spec (no kidding?!) Might be your big break, if you can make it dramatic without overselling it like I’ve seen some do…

b bab June 8, 2008 at 4:03 am

[re=10428]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Wait a minute, do you work in memphis? Did the japanese couple give you a plum? If they did, you better watch out, Screamin jay hawkins will take it right out of your hand.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 4:33 am

[re=10443]b bab[/re]: Screamin’ Jay Hawkins is a wild man so bug off.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 8, 2008 at 4:48 am

The Children. Who will think of the Children?

BlackEuro.Observer June 8, 2008 at 4:59 am

Prick Gastly!

BlackEuro.Observer June 8, 2008 at 5:02 am

[re=10428]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: check out my avatar!

ijustpukedinmymouth June 8, 2008 at 5:09 am

dammit. rolled again.

Revmachine21 June 8, 2008 at 5:13 am

I’m posting just to see my new avatar. I got Rick Rolled and I got nuthin’

AnnieGetYourFun June 8, 2008 at 5:22 am

[re=10439]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Port Angeles, eh? I rarely make it out there with my posse of Japanese jail bait… maybe I have to start making more trips now that I know that there is bourbon to be had.

fem June 8, 2008 at 8:00 am

Could’ve spotted that metal fence behind the picture from a mile away.

God damn I’m a nerd.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 8:31 am

[re=10446]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Everyone thinks of the Children. That’s why they will die of School Bus.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 8, 2008 at 8:37 am

Ah, nerds..

loquaciousmusic June 8, 2008 at 8:37 am

You wouldn’t get this from any other guy…that’s Barry for you!

ReelectTilden June 8, 2008 at 9:20 am

That is indeed disgraceful. I guess I have no choice now but to write in David Duke.

phillyman June 8, 2008 at 9:27 am

Well, so much for 1/2 Whiteys having rhythm…..

valobama June 8, 2008 at 9:29 am

i have said “white folks is crazy” once or twice myself. i hope that tape never comes out!

AxmxZ June 8, 2008 at 10:08 am

Now that is some *serious* whitey.

Delicious June 8, 2008 at 10:19 am

Wonkette, you’re such a cock tease.

Serolf Divad June 8, 2008 at 10:29 am

Her voice is a little deeper than I remember.

graceless June 8, 2008 at 10:57 am

She’s wearing a pearl necklace, heh, heh.

ElectricZen June 8, 2008 at 11:00 am

Wow, Mark Penn waited almost 24 hours before he published his laughable Why This Wasn’t My Fault piece. That’s like Bill Clinton going almost a year without sex.

ElectricZen June 8, 2008 at 11:02 am
El Bombastico June 8, 2008 at 11:38 am

[re=10469]ElectricZen[/re]: Gee Mark, I wonder why it was that the Clinton campaign “found itself without adequate money at the beginning of 2008″. Perchance because everyone was giving to the rival campaign whose message they like better?

wonk_the_heck June 8, 2008 at 11:43 am

Well, the video is “no longer available”. I’m sure my friends
in FL who believe Obama might blow up the White House will have
a copy. The “racist Michelle” meme would probably go viral via
email if not for the mailboxes stuffed with 7 guardian angels
being forwarded to 10 friends X 10 friends X 10 friends…

loquaciousmusic June 8, 2008 at 11:55 am

[re=10469]ElectricZen[/re]: Boy, that Op-Ed makes Mark Penn look fat.

CollegeStudent June 8, 2008 at 12:00 pm

today is my birthday.
Thank you, Wonkette for starting the tradition of birthday rickrolls

ReverendGreen June 8, 2008 at 12:02 pm

If she did say “whitey”, does that give O’Reilly the evidence he needs?

bitchincamaro June 8, 2008 at 12:02 pm

I know it’s OT, but Penn should be forced to play every interminable moment of the campaign (that he mis-engineered) over and over in his head until Forevermore!

ManchuCandidate June 8, 2008 at 12:02 pm

Heh. Gotta love Rickrolling. Take that old peoples on the intertubes!

memphisheel June 8, 2008 at 12:05 pm


Magsbe June 8, 2008 at 12:16 pm

I’ve been rickrolled so many times that I’ve passed the point of no return: I unironically love the song now. I have it on my iPod! I click on Youtube links hoping to hear Rick Astley’s sonorous voice! Something is wrong with me.

wonk_the_heck June 8, 2008 at 12:22 pm

saw it at Ballon Juice and now i hate whitey too

SayItWithWookies June 8, 2008 at 12:24 pm

[re=10479]Magsbe[/re]: I think it’s a variant of Stockholm Syndrome — a transference of affection for your oppressor. Exactly the opposite of the feelings that Michelle Obama has developed for Whitey.

ladymacbeth June 8, 2008 at 12:45 pm

why are some of you indented (graceless, reverendgreen) on my comments page? is this a mark of your specialness and possbily i am jealous…

also does it hurt?

Inadequate Blackmail June 8, 2008 at 1:05 pm

When did saying “Whitey” become an unpardonable racist sin, anyway?

Barrett808 June 8, 2008 at 1:07 pm

An April 2008 poll by SurveyUSA estimated that at least 18 million American adults have been rickrolled… Rickroll

Damn you Hilz!

Sortofexpat June 8, 2008 at 1:10 pm

I thought Michelle was darker than that…

[re=10482]ladymacbeth[/re]: I noticed that too. it’s because their avatars are blank.

From The Bridge June 8, 2008 at 1:11 pm

Best. Wonkette. Ever.

RaptorAvatar June 8, 2008 at 1:45 pm

That’s one of the best rickrolls I’ve seen.

[re=10469]ElectricZen[/re]: He forgot “I also didn’t understand how delegates are apportioned.”

junkscience June 8, 2008 at 2:12 pm

Oh no you didn’t just rickroll me.

DoctorCulturae June 8, 2008 at 2:17 pm

[re=10469]ElectricZen[/re]: What a load of load. From Penn’s explanation O just ran a better campaign? Has nothing to do with message or Hilz utterly and confoundedly contradictory behavior. So energizing the bitters earlier would have helped, and having more money would have helped? Sorry, but I suspect most are sick of the bitters. What is a word for bitters plus? Physical hostility? And more $? Meh. And going after O directly? More meh: where’s the behavior where we see her acting like a person? Not just posturing or drinking Crown Royal. LIke Bill it looked like they were just having fun “doing campaign.” Meh-meh-meh.

The last 2/3 of Hilz speech was like the statesperson I thought she was. Why did that persona go hiding? Why did Bill become WC Fields? All that morphing is scary stuff. Penn should call up JImmyCarter to see if some spots at Habitat are open or go work in an inner city school. You can’t govern without knowing people. Hilz wanted my support, as if when I gave it she’d give me something in return, quid pro quo. Like a business deal. With a limited message what came across was wanting to win by divine right. O has engaged my conscience to participate in social action. Last time I heard that was a relevant way of doing democracy.

greatgooglymoogly June 8, 2008 at 2:38 pm

There’s funny. There’s stupid. That wasn’t funny.

I guess we have to give Wonkette a pass given the drunken delirium that they — and I hope everyone else here — is experiencing after Hillary’s “gracious” armistice declaration. But otherwise, this was just lazy.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 8, 2008 at 2:47 pm

[re=10483]Inadequate Blackmail[/re]: You obviously are not a member of the oppressed White race, and so you do not understand how the “W” word reminds us of our oppression and the pain it causes. Why, do you know that just 40 years ago, it wasn’t unusual for Whites to have to use different restrooms, water fountains and to ride in the front of the bus?

Thank God patriotic Conservative white men like Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly (who is still waiting for evidence so he can lynch Michelle Obama) are willing to stand up for those of us who have suffered by being made to be less of a person as soon as the “W” word is thrown around.

Black Cat June 8, 2008 at 3:11 pm

Was the leaping bartender Obam?

j6n June 8, 2008 at 3:36 pm

As painful as Rick is, I think the political equivalent should be “Hillary for U an Me”

valencia June 8, 2008 at 4:08 pm

“Whitey” is totally acceptable to everyone. I haven’t seen any news of Hill having missspoke(d) yesterday, so I think this is a good sign.

FunkyPalmettoBug June 8, 2008 at 5:27 pm

I sent this video to every hillary supporter and staffer I knew. None were happy, but I think one sent it higher up the food chain.

Servo June 8, 2008 at 6:12 pm

That decade was painful enough the first time! For those too young, you don’t want to go there.

kudzu June 8, 2008 at 6:15 pm


ronaldpagan June 8, 2008 at 7:48 pm

[re=10479]Magsbe[/re]: [re=10484]Barrett808[/re]:

I have a confession, y’all. This was the first time in my adult life I’d ever been Rickrolled. Completely true. I knew what the phenomenon was, but I’d never experienced it.

…and I do think that chorus is super-catchy…

Whore Diamond in the Rough June 8, 2008 at 8:27 pm

[re=10428]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Geez, was right.

S.Luggo June 8, 2008 at 8:28 pm

1. Do truly luvs the video’s background of the broken, purple varicose veins of Hiltard bitterette Nazi-fembots. “Never give up, never give in, bite me.”
2. Roget’s Thesaurus (Street Parlance Edition) says the term “whitey” includes “mulatto”. Therefore, no harm, no foul, no weary tears?
3. The photo looks like Condi with a double strand of democrat (small “d”) molars, given our gap-tooth, antiquarian Soviet expert by the Archduke of Saudi Arabiastan, her next employer.

A song, a dance, a smile.
— Sluggo

Deepthroat June 8, 2008 at 8:52 pm


Tits_LaRue June 8, 2008 at 8:59 pm

Rick Astley: 1
Whitey: 0

populucious June 8, 2008 at 9:03 pm

Ok, now I’m just really confused. Her anti-white vitriolic screed still managed to confine the jolly gay dancing black dude to BEHIND the bar. What does this mean? Is Michelle Obama both a racist AND a racist, or is she merely a racist who also hates jazz hands?

no_identity June 8, 2008 at 9:37 pm

Is that Ekhart Tolle’s previous career?

Banzai77 June 8, 2008 at 10:22 pm

epic lulz!!!!!!

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 8, 2008 at 11:03 pm

[re=10596]S.Luggo[/re]: So, your saying that it is possible that Michelle was using a term of affection for her Husband? “He might be a Whitey, but I love him,” kind of thing?

Words June 9, 2008 at 12:33 am


ah, you must be in beddy-bye land now… Wash. State good… ferries good… hum, …. ah Vancouver, better, and San Juan Islands, OOOO better–

[re=10628]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]:

Sorry, Michelle, but in the Old South, Obama wouldn’t even count for a “high” or “quadroon” — white grandmother notwithstanding — and you can thank the Confederates! who are Definitely from Brits … who else would quantify, in measurable quarters or sixteenths or whatever, what your ancestry is/was??!! Who would f***king care but the damn Brits??!!

Disclaimer: Belately to the US, I am 2/3 Irish, 1/3 English…. sigh, … still I find herself rising up w/a “BRITS OUT!!!” cry on occasion…. sorry.

Quacker June 9, 2008 at 12:56 am

No Avatar

Smacksipad June 9, 2008 at 1:51 am

Thank you. I’ve been meaning to create a new login.

Baiowulf June 9, 2008 at 2:04 am


Sabre_Justice June 9, 2008 at 2:52 am

You know, I’m lucky that I love this song.

AudicityofHope June 9, 2008 at 4:01 am

Never have I been so glad to see Rick Astley’s pastey ass dance around on my screen.

regisgoat June 9, 2008 at 5:35 am

Say, Lascaux, how is that rough is that little voyage across the San Juan strait?

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