Wonkette
Here’s a new RNC ad that scans over Obama’s pithy resume, as any good potential employer would. While Obama claims he went to Chicago as a “community organizer,” the RNC takes away the Liberal Spin and rightly lists the job as “street organizer,” which is a euphemism for “HE’S FUCKING BLACK, PEOPLE! YOU’RE VOTING FOR A FUCKING BLACK MAN! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS SHIT? BLACK BLACK BLACK! RAP! A NATION RUN BY A BLACK, IN THE STREETS! RIOTS! BLACK!” [YouTube]
BARACK OBAMA
Wait a tic…. Barry is BLACK!!!?!??!!!!!
I van not wait for January 20th of next year when we can finally hoist the red flag and sing a rousing chorus of The Internationale. It has been a logn time coming, comrade, but the defeat of the freedom is finally at hand!
i swear i heard the scary (white woman?) narrator intone at the end: “barack obama, blacking experience.”
At least they didn’t replace “Lawyer” with “Jive-talking turkey.”
Of course the RNC objects to Obama’s resume.
1) No mention of doing things to other men for $20 bucks a pop.
2) No hobbies involving wetsuits and Thai boy girls
3) He actually reads books and shit.
Community Organizer = Guy who hand out flyer’s on the sub way.
Wow. I really held out a little bit of naive hope that this could be about issues. But it looks like it’s time to paint McCain as the slobbering shut-in you avoid when you get off the elevator on the way to see you grandmother in the home.
Fuck you, repubs!
Vice President Barbara Boxer will not hesitate to beat McCain’s sorry ass with his own shoe.
RNC: Keeping the blacks where they belong since 1801.
Street Organizer, Chicago, IL
Responsibilities included shuckin’ and/or jivin’, Marxism.
ManchuCandidate:
4) Has a narrow stance
5) Pronounces in “nu-clee-ar”, in elitist fashion.
AngryBlakGuy: which is to say… Community Organizer = member of Scientology, the New Kadampa Tradition, the Kare Krishnas, the Moonies, maybe even the Mooninites… the people who you’d think would be attracted to McCain naturally.
6) Eats an abominably unAmerican diet of organic tea and roughage.
And, other than doing coke, avoiding war when it was his ass on the line, and running several private businesses into the ground, what was George W. Bush’s great experience before he became president?
Hmm, I seem to remember a guy who got his first job in life at age 40 and served a few years as a no-power gubner? And that the RNC supported him for prez. Or maybe I misremembered that.
I think it was in these very threads where someone expressed the hope that Obama would pick Richardson to be his running mate to see the right wing freakout at the prospect of a Muslim Terrorist and Mexican Invader in the White House. I enjoyed that, and think fondly of it often.
nyhfrog: So you are saying that Obama should run a fact based campaign?
Domestic Goddess: Actually, they’ve only been doing it since ca. 1964. Before that it was every other political party that has ever existed.
Well, I’ll give them credit for not darkening the picture of Barry. Yet.
This is where the RNC’s deeper pockets shall take us for the next five months. At least.
It’s gonna be like one of those carnival rides that you wanted to get off as soon as it started, but you were puking too much to plead with the Gomer at the switch.
What’s that she said at the end there? “BLACKing experience”?
That’s what millions of bitters heard.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: It is worth noting that GWB failed at everything he had run prior to his eight years of failure at presidenting. At least The Big Brown Hope Machine was successful at stuff.
Dear RNC Racists,
He’s HALF WHITE..Hard Working White.
Love, and get thee to hell,
Freakishlystrong
sleepy: I (obviously) heard that too!!!
ForTheTurnstiles: Nono, “street organizer” = He sold the bow ties to Louis Farrakhan. Oh, and he eats white babies.
“Lack of experience” = He’s never slept with a white, crazy, pill-popping, repressed, “Family Research Council”, Baptist-preacher-had-boundary-issues-so-now-I-might-be-a-lesbian woman. Hoo-boy, once you’ve survived that, you can certainly be trusted with any nuclear weapons. Am I right, fellas, eh? EH?
Prediction: There will be several “Barack Obama Costumes” at various College Republican Club Halloween Parties in October. Along with tons of blow, and buggery.
I’m gonna need a Tums; it’s gonna be a long time ’til the General.
mookworthjwilson: Thanks. Just like the RNC, I can’t separate facts from fiction.
AxmxZ: Arugula is the new watermelon.
Given America’s insatiable thirst for hot black-guy-on-white-chick porn, I think we may be more ready for this then we think…
I love how they emphasize junior senator…as if the term has to do with anything other than seniority.
I thought he was Hawaiian!
“That’s my man Barry. Down in the street, keepin’ it real.”
I’m sorry RNC, but could you have picked a whiter looking photo of this angry black gangbanger nominee of ours? He looks like a latte with WAY too much cream in it. Hmm… maybe it’s subliminal there; he’s a dangerous street negro and Latte-sipping elitist! Big ups, RNC.
ManchuCandidate: I don’t know how Obama is going to win without the support of the all-important Bangkok LadyBoy bloc.
Yep, it seems the RNC is well on the way to convincing people who wouldn’t have voted for the Democratic candidate anyway to not vote for the Democratic candidate. The cluephone is ringing, RNC, please pick up the White Courtesy Cluephone: “Nobody” is on the other end, waiting to listen to your blubbering claptrap!
loudmouthredhead: “Street Organizer” = Isaac Hayes in Escape from New York.
Lionel Hutz Esq.: mmmhmmm.
…they left out the the special skills section of the resume!
Special Skills:
-Rolling Dice
-Pant Sagging
-Drinking 40’s
-Playing Cards
-Collecting Food Stamps
-Impregnating your white daughter and moving her to the ‘hood!
Rodney Badger:
Hell, he may win the Triple Crown!
The President is a N||||||TRAIN-WHISTLE||||||!
srow: Don’t misunderestimate the strategery of the man-boy genius!
Inadequate Blackmail: Is that Urkel’s mugshot I spy? Eddie and Steve sure made Carl angry that time they got arrested. Classic.
It’s too bad this new-fangled commenting system is so shit-tastic. It really doesn’t do our avatars justice.
AngryBlakGuy: -Lowering property values
Condiments-Only Diet: Junior Senator = The guy who is sent out to buy coffee and donuts
AxmxZ: My Pappy told me to never trust a man without intestinal blockage. My vote is going to the man who will finish his first term in adult diapers and his second with a colostomy bag.
i like the propaganda-yellow post-it notes, ’cause republicans are hip to the latest trends…
I’m just waiting for Grandpa McSame to blurt out, “What you talkin’ ’bout Barak?” and flash his nasty grin at one of those town hall meetings. It’s only a matter of time.
“street organizer” = pimpin’ a fine stable o’ ho bitches in sequined short-shorts.
AngryBlakGuy: You left out:
-If he didn’t use lotion he’d be ashy.
(I have known many white people who found this freakishly odd. They could definitely score some “not like you and me” points with it.
It is an insult to suggest that an unaccomplished naive Marxo-Luo terrorist like Barack Obama could possibly take on the job we gave to that incredibly experienced and accomplished son of that President.
republicans are still using polaroids and post-it notes in their job search.
because al gore’s internets are marxist
AngryBlakGuy: Sexist. HRC is still a junior senator.
El Bombastico: -running from the poe-lice
In all fairness, it was kinda stoopid of Barry to put “Avoided Tough Votes” right there on his resume.
Street organizer? You mean he was a pimp? Of course he was. Still is. The man’s got pimp style written all over.
Da Derga: Chicks dig a big firm colostomy bag. Just ask Cindy.
To save them the trouble, I’ve scripted the RNC’s next ad for them:
Voiceover: It’s 3:00 AM and the phone rings in the White House bedroom.
Military Voice: Mr. President, wolves are circling an adorable white girl picking daisies in a meadow.
Elitist Black Voice: I’ll send Willie Horton.
Here is the RNC’s training video for canvassers and get out the vote volunteers
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nYzsskE5ObA
AngryBlakGuy: And spend all his time trying to find the restroom and figure out how the phones work.
AngryBlakGuy: Also: spinning on his head.
Lascauxcaveman: It’s not cream. It’s vanilla-flavoured soy milk. And a dash of bitters.
Carrie_Okie: They shouldn’t forget that Obama has a stick now. “Excuse me while I whp this out.”
In my experience, you can’t organize streets. They’re pretty much fixed where they are.
queeraselvis v 2.0: Junior Senator = The guy who jacks Jewish SENIOR Senators up against the wall until they piss their pants!
soymocha:
-Hi Fivin’
-Low Fivin’
-Behind the back Fivin’
i wonder how the RNC would portray the Son of Man’s resumé…
Street Organizer = Gang leader!
AngryBlakGuy: Sippin’ on gin and juice.
indpendentthinkerdude: This is why you never send a photo along with your resume when you’re answering the want-ads. Also, Barry might want to consider changing his name to “Jake Williams” between now and the general.
Vanity Smurf: I want a Mittens VP and another “Who Let the Dogs Out” reference.
That “Street Organizer” was my BOO!!!
economywine: Oh, that’s easy:
1) Dirty and unkempt appearance
Shows clear signs of megalomania and delusions of grandeur by claiming to be “The Messiah” and “The Son of God”
2) Spends entirely too much time around children
3) Prone to fits of uncontrollable rage
4) Has a martyr complex
5) Associates with known prostitutes
6) Displays alcoholic tendencies by changing water into wine
7) Shows little or no regard for established authority
soymocha:
-Playing the Dozens
-Talking during movies
Lionel Hutz Esq.: We forget so soon that is was Dubba that gave the great state of Texas “Jesus Day.”
George W. Bush’s resume: “President” of the United States
I don’t think “street organizer” is bad, but the fact that they put quotes around it is pretty ridiculous.
AngryBlakGuy: Whereas, “Senior” Senators like McCain truck around in your motorized iron-lung like a modern day Captain Christopher Pike.
TGY: Actually, you know who’s good at organizing streets? Mormons. Especially the ones in Salt Lake City. As such, I think we need to keep an eye on that Romney fellow!
Son of Mark Penn: PC term for garbageman?
fucking hippies.
This must be viewed to see the insanely doctored picture of Michelle Obama.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNPVpXTrX0A&feature=related
They failed to mention that he could only work part-time as a senator b/c otherwise they would have lowered his food stamp allotment.
Q: What’s the difference between a welfare recipient and a legislator?
A: Welfare recipients have to work.
John McCain’s Resume:
Super-Senior Senator from Arizona.
Failed Pilot.
Part time Prisoner of War.
Stayed in a “Camp” while other soldiers were fighting.
Passed more than one horrible bill.
Avoided Tough Wife for abortions, crimes and guns.
(ok, I’m done for today)
Seriously, what kind of “accomplishment” is it to “lecture” at “a law school” at the “University” of “Chicago”?
Paid for by Night Riders for McCain.
NoWireHangers: Mittens always makes me think of Warren Beatty in “Bullworth.” I think it’s the hair.
Actually, that was a pretty fair ad by GOP standards. If America falls for this simplistic shit, we very clearly deserve our future total servitude to Chinese corporate overloards and their Middle Eastern financiers.
I think it a fine test.
articulate moran: you forgot Amateur makeup critic
TGY: Actually, you know who’s good at organizing streets? Mormons. Especially the ones in Salt Lake City. As such, I think we need to keep an eye on that Romney fellow!
Rodney Badger: Now, now, he was quite successful at avoiding Viet Nam.
Rodney Badger: Except they are usually just in black face, that is different from your average college Republican party how?
Inadequate Blackmail: Nope, just Muslim.
MordecuS: Well, I know I’ve been praying a lot more ever since Bush has been president.
ReelectTilden: doesn’t use swear words when asking for iced tea.
articulate moran: Don’t forget, mclame twice voted against bills he sponsored!! Early Alheimer’s perhaps?
AngryBlakGuy:
you forgot:
- hating the Celtics
- preferring the smooth flavor of menthols
- never buying dogs from pet stores
- hating Elvis
AngryBlakGuy:
then there’s:
“diamond in the back
sunroof top,
digging the scene with
a gangster lean,
mmmhmmmmm”
What’s up with the Steve Reich score?
And he did a great job of organizing streets in Chicago, too. They are laid out in a grid, with a numbering system that remains constant for all N-S and E-W streets, unlike NYC.
However, some of the streets, like Rezko Place, had to be renamed.
Great job, Barry!
Great fucking ad! The Republicans really know how to put doubt, anxiety and fear into ya. They are the EXPERTS! I especially liked the creepy music, which will remind everyone of WALNUTS!
It takes a nation of morans to hold him back.
But the fucker can dance man. Why am I convinced interns locked in a basement somewhere desperately searching for pictures of Barry with O.J.
AngryBlakGuy: You forgot
Doesn’t tip
Owns pit-bull(s)
Won’t eat pussy
At the 0:22 mark the creepy announcer pronounces “present” like “prison.” RNC Subliminal messaging for you.
@hotflashingfobama When they right “here” instead of “hear” it’s no doubt because they cannot reed.
Reiding and Wrighting are liberal communist far left democrat marxist elitist things anyway.
The only reason John McCain is the senior Senator from Arizona is because he was 712 years old when the junior Senator from Arizona was born.