Here’s your Wonkette Friday Lunch Hour “Escapist” Video: John McCain’s new ad, about how he hates war! First line: “Only a fool or a fraud talks tough or romantically about war.” Ha ha! Then he romanticizes his and his family’s war experience, for political gain, for 30 more seconds. [YouTube]
MILITARY
June 6, 2008
Mid-Friday Comedy Hour: John McCain Hates War!
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{ 51 comments }
Keeping have of his face in shadow really helps hide his wattle.
And what happened to his cheek pouches?
Is it just me, or does he sound like he is delivering a skit to children on Sesame Street?
Republicans really are incapable of learning, aren’t they? Who responds to all that war by… supporting… more… war…
Or a calculating politician.
Walnuts is correct. Too bad he’s running as Bush III.
“I must say, I’m a little envious,” Bush said. “If I were slightly younger and not employed here, I think it would be a fantastic experience to be on the front lines of helping this young democracy succeed.”
“It must be exciting for you … in some ways romantic, in some ways, you know, confronting danger. You’re really making history, and thanks,” Bush said.
Halfway threw I expected him to say: “I remember during the second Punic war…”
Instead of the cheek pouches, the shadow brings out a nascent turkey neck. Quite distinguished.
So…his conceptions about war were forged when he was 5? I guess he really DID block out the Hanoi Hilton.
“I don’t like war, but I want you to like it.”
‘As a veteran borne of war-ravaged ancestors, I can honestly say that war is an acquired taste.’
[re=9212]ManchuCandidate[/re]: when he says “romantic”, he means they’ll have to get used to the idea of kissing their asses goodbye on a daily basis.
Seymour Skinner: The year was 1968. We were on recon in the steaming Mekong Delta. An overheated private removed his flak jacket, revealing a t-shirt with an iron-on sporting the Mad slogan ‘Up with miniskirts!’ Well, we all had a good laugh, even though I didn’t quite understand it. But our momentary lapse of concentration allowed Charley to get the drop on us. I spent the next 3 years in a POW camp, forced to subsist on a thin stew made of fish, vegetables, prawns, coconut milk and four kinds of rice. I came close to madness trying to find it here in the States, but they just can’t get the spices right.
“I hate war. I’ve also done what I’ve hated nonstop for the past 275 years. Most recently I’ve kissed up to George Bush, whom I loathe more than pleasure itself. And now I loathe running for president. I’ve combined these three great hatreds of my life into one, and even as I lose this race you’ll see a wonderful series of ads of me projecting my abhorrence of Bush and what he’s done to this country into a series of backhanded criticisms of my Democratic opponent. Decode and enjoy, you soft, spoiled, pleasure-loving decaying blister on the face of this great nation. So you see, I hate war — but that doesn’t mean staying in Iraq for bupkus is a problem for me. Fuck it, let’s all go down with the ship.”
[re=9202]Gopherit v2.0[/re]: [re=9220]loudmouthredhead[/re]: No, no, the light’s all wrong. It should be coming up from *below* like when you tell scary stories with a flashlight illuminating your face from underneath. Brings out the skull-like facial features.
this one time, in ‘nam camp…
?
[re=9238]TGY[/re]: “And then scouts, I RAN FOR PRESIDENT! AAAAHHHHH! Boo!”
WAR, WAR, WAR, I was tortured, WAR, WAR, WAR, God Bless America, I am WALNUTS!
[re=9238]TGY[/re]: I’m trying to figure out how the light is keeping him from looking like the Cryptkeeper. Cameras have not been in firend in the last few months.
Ho Chi Minh tattoo’d some Charley characters for “Johnny is my girlfriend” on the left side of his face. That’s what I heard. (Right after I said it).
“War killed my Grandpappy and raped me up the ass for five years. Now it’s all y’all suckers’ turn.”
Every other word was “war” and I cringed every time he used it.
He is like some horrible old man attempting to patiently explain the inner workings of his pistol to us “younguns” by mostly waving it around, fully loaded, back and forth; he assumes we are all listening, but we mostly focused on ducking.
Why should we listen to his war advice? I want to hear from one of the guys who wasn’t captured.
DeLay, McSame, Rove, etc, etc…they don’t get it. They are preaching the old and tired gospel to the same 35% that still think Bush is swell, give Fox News ratings and think the government should regulate a uterus before a financial market. They are trapped in their echo chamber and simply cannot escape.
This ad is playing directly into the esteemed Mr. Brooks’ op-ed published just today:
“Don’t only look to see which candidate has the most talent. Look for the one most emotionally gripped by his own failings. “
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/06/opinion/06brooks.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
[re=9263]AfghanVet[/re]: The reason they survive is because there are far too many dumb fucks in this country who vote for them. They are embodiments of a deep problem with the more ignorant portions of our society….who wants a minimum voter intelligence test? hmm? anyone?
To demonstrate his distaste for war, he goes around singing, “Bomb Bomb Iran” on Karaoke.
Ahhh, now I have more reason to think he may not make it through the general election. What better way to give hope then showing how likely it is that he will die soon…
John McCain loves war. He loves it for its own sake. He loves it like a man loves a woman. I am as sure of that as I am of my own name.
Maybe the only admirable thing Panamanian strongman Juan McCain has ever done was to serve and survive honorably in a POW camp in Vietnam. He already cheapened that by becoming a torture advocate. Now he’s totally whoring the whole thing out by using it for the personal goal of getting elected. Fuck you, Grandpa, for selling out your dignity.
[re=9276]Aurelio[/re]: Yeah, like Patton with less political acumen and more losses to the enemy.
I LOVE the disclaimer that the image of the Vietnam Memorial is not an endorsement by the DOD.
[re=9212]ManchuCandidate[/re]: he’s a WAR PRESIDENT! heh, heh …
I hate war. I will wage a huge, bloody, expensive, and possibly catastophic war to prevent war.
I also hate lies. I will say or do anything regardless of truth to prevent lies.
And money. Blech. Don’t like money. I will accept straight cash payouts from lobbyists and marry a richer-than-you’ll-ever-be cunt to prevent the influence of money.
See ya in ’08, suckers!
Why is it that I have this sneaking suspicion that WALNUTS! could learn to fall in love with war all over again if elected? Love and hate are two sides of the same coin, John.
Bit off topic, but very good read:
http://counterpunch.org/sharon06052008.html
“One of Hillary Clinton’s scandal-ridden younger brothers, Tony Rodham, briefly escaped the DNC melee at a nearby Irish bar…
Rodham described himself as a “yellow dog Democrat, all my life” while threatening, “If my sister doesn’t end up with the nomination, I gotta take a look at who I’m gonna vote for.” Lest there be any confusion about Rodham’s political motives, his commitment to women’s rights is highly suspect. His first wife, Nicole Boxer (daughter of California Senator Barbara Boxer) was forced to sue him in court last year to retrieve $158,000 in back alimony and child support payments he had failed to deliver since they parted ways. Nevertheless, he played a prominent role in Clinton’s fracas at the DNC, which consciously pitted the interests of ‘60s generation white feminists against the African-American candidate.
Amazing how the low the Clintons were willing to go.
Oh and mcCain must have a random war bullshit generator or something for coming up w/ all these variations on the same theme
They only lit up half of him b/c only half of him doesn’t like war.
The other half was asleep for the taping.
[re=9268]NotAnEvilLobbyist[/re]:
Yes, only a fool or a fraud would do this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAzBxFaio1I
[re=9226]norbziness[/re]:
“Remember, fire can be your friend, whether toasting s’mores or raining down on Charlie.
“WAR! (huh-Good God, y’all)
What is it good for?
Chorus: Absolutely nothin’
Say it again!”
-Edwin Starr, War
Well, the Republicans insist that McCain’s years as a POW qualifies him for the job. Apparently McCain believes it is his duty to give a similar opportunity to the youth of America.
Well, except for the children of the rich and Republicans.
http://johnmccain.com/images/HP2/060408_decisioncenter1.jpg
http://animatedinteractive.com/decisioncenter.jpg
does bbcode work here?
[re=9283]Mabalz Izhari[/re]: “Military images do not imply endorsement by DOD or service branch. Images of John McCain’s Father and Grandfather do not imply endorsement by John McCain’s family. John McCain’s logo does not imply endorsement by typographers. The black background does not imply endorsement by the blind. Images of John McCain’s wrinkled skin does not imply endorsement by the California Raisin Advisory Board.
[re=9336]Tits_LaRue[/re]: And McCain’s teeth certainly do not imply endorsement by the American Dental Association.
[re=9302]BlackEuro.Observer[/re]:
I couldn’t read the whole piece, too depressing, but I love the part where the “Team Hillary” fembot shoves the weasily Obama button wearing dude. B/C now what happens is weasel’s older, bigger, stronger Obama-button wearing brother(s) come back to the schoolyard to put a beatin’ on the entire fucking Team. We’ve had it with that shit.
Can we give him back to the Viet Cong?
So the times when he voted for it? And participated in it? Was it like some sort of GOP note passing?
Do you want to go to war?
Check Yes or No
P.S.–Yes means no and no means yes
…on the other hand, I don’t really consider what we’re now doing in the Middle East as “war”, per se. It’s more like paintball, only with bullets.
[re=9368]Mabalz Izhari[/re]: lol! I think they do imply endorsement by the National Corn Grower’s Association, tho’…
That is outright hilarity !!
“I hate war. I think there should be another one, for 100 years. War sucks.”
[re=9219]AngryBlakGuy[/re]: “Carthago delenda est.”
Is it me, or is the point of war NOT to get shot down, captured, etc. If he’s running on his war record, well, HE SUCKED AT WAR.
He hates war, but understands that it’s a necessary stepping stone to a military career and thus highly desirable. Our Song of the Month at http://www.lawrenceofthedesert.com is “John McCain Was Born 10,000 Years Ago,” a similar model of understatement.
I love the smell of wet depends in the morning.
3 to 2 odds that McCain will start going bonkers during “crunch time” in the campaign and start to rail about “gooks”.
“Maybe those gook bastards beat the shit out of me in Viet Nam, but those god damn Iranians are going to pay for it!
Arm the cruise missiles with DEFCON 3 warheads and send them to Tehran!”
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