Wonkette
Ha ha, here is some great newspaper from Nazi Germany that comically names the White House “Uncle Tom’s Cabin,” because a slave may soon call it home. This is very offensive, according to the Internet, and of course we all know why: what a nasty way to detract from Obama’s writing skill, by comparing it to Harriet Beecher Stowe’s! Have you actually *read* Uncle Tom’s Cabin? Yikes! [Spiegel]
WHITE HOUSE
Germans Celebrate Obama In Special Way That They Don’t Understand
Read More:
5:26 PM
on Thu June 5 2008
By
Jim Newell
1622 Views
…Barack Obama will be riding the underground railroad straight into the White House!
Oy gevalt.
It’s not like Alan Keyes is gonna inhabit it.
I never thought I’d live to see the day when a black man was bigger than Hasselhoff in Germany.
Whatever. Try prying Merkel away from Barry at his first G8 meeting. He better keep that walking stick handy.
Have you actually *read* Uncle Tom’s Cabin?
No. But I did see the charming re-enactment by the children of the King of Siam. Is it faithful to the original?
I don’t think I ever realized just how bigoted Germans are.
If only McCain were the likely President-Elect…then allegories could’ve been made to some of William Faulkner’s most cruel and crotchety characters. Then Germany and Kos could holds hands and skip into the sunrise because it’s Morning in America again, with a sunrise as yellow as McCain’s teeth.
Oh those Germans and their wacky ideas. What will they think of next?
Jeebus you move the slaves to a new holding-house and all of a sudden the libtards are like “THATS NOT RACIAL TRANSCENDENCE!” ? What is happening to this country?
We can forgive them, they’re Germans.
It’s not like they done anything… horribly racist… oh yeah never mind.
FUCK’EM UP, I HEARD THEY HAVE OIL!
I’m curious as to why that petrified-looking blonde is showing me her o-face.
Also is Die Tageszeitung a Heidi Klum property?
Das ist lustig, sehr lustig.
Absolutely true story: There is a stop on the Berlin subway called “Onkel Toms Hutte”. Apparently when the original book came out the Europeans loved it (because it gave them a chance to feel superior to Americans) and some Berlin bar named itself after the book to drum up business, and the neighborhood around the bar took the name, and the subway stop was named after the neighborhood.
But wait, it gets better! A few years ago, the Berlin transit agency came out with a series of subway-themed underwear, each printed with the name of a train station that sounded vaguely dirty. There were panties that said “French Street” and boxer shorts that said “Pipe Avenue” (in German, obviously). Anyway, there were also boxer shorts that said “Onkel Toms Hutte”. A German guy I know swore that it had nothing to do with black men and their penises, since most Germans have never heard of the book — he claims that the shorts are supposed to be the “cabin” and “Uncle Tom” is what dwells within. But now that I’ve seen this, I’m sort of suspicous.
Germans are racist, is what I’m saying.
Anyone else all of a sudden want to play Wolfenstein?
They’re still pissed our Prez tried to give their Prime Minister a public backrub.
This sort of reminds me of that problem they had with the Mr Wong search engine a while back. Germans apparently just don’t *realize* they’re being racist.
And they’re also pissed off that Seal took Heidi off the market with his smooth, smooth blackness.
And they’re also pissed off black people don’t taste like chocolate when you lick them.
This isn’t even in the top 10 most offensive things Germany has ever done.
tunamelt: It’s pretty impressive that Uncle Barry gets bigger billing than “Germany’s Next Topmodel”. Can you make German phrases just by running words together? Thatsawesome.
Godless Liberal *: It isn’t in the top 10 THIS WEEK.
Can’t be sure if, as the Spiegel asks, it’s offensive or satirical (or tongue-in-cheek or wherever). It would help to be able to see the original article text.
Eh, what the hell. I vote satirical. I get the sense that Barry would laugh at it, anyway.
The Real JR Revisted: So not true. At least, I’m brown and I totally taste like candy if you lick me.
Godless Liberal *: Did you ever listen to Loveline back in the day, when they had “Germany or Florida,” and they tried to stump people by saying some terrible atrocity that had occurred, and you had to guess whether it happened in Germany or in Florida?
And they’re coming for our white supermodels next!
Sometimes Germany can’t help itself, they just gotta cut loose and behave like Kentucky with a 3 digit IQ. Either that or they are simply anticipating year 2 of the Hopey regime when he starts behaving like a vile sellout because Exxon taught him how to play golf an backslap people who care about sports convincingly.
tunamelt: That seems appropriate. Weren’t the German tourists the ones getting shot while on vacation in Florida?
The Real JR Revisted: Word. That is my experience with the novel too.
Also, not to be racist, but I really like the phrase “Onkel Baracks Hutte.”
tunamelt: Usually, it would be safe to assume that O-Face is naked on Page 6, but this isn’t a conservative paper, so I’m not sure.
Josh Fruhlinger: Weird.
So does everyone think the implication here is what it would be in America (that Barack is an “Uncle Tom”) or is it just, “Ha ha, a black in the White House, what will these crazy Yanks think of next?”
From another article in Spiegel:
“McCain is not an unknown quantity in Germany, either. As a dyed in the wool trans-Atlanticist, he regularly participates in the annual Munich Security Conference. The senator has a reputation there for his sharp attacks against German politicians — his fits of rage are feared and his political positions are known because of the numerous debates he has taken part in.”
Apparently Germans want Barry to use his new maple pimp cane to defend them from Panamanian Strongman “Juan” WALNUTS! McCain.
“his fits of rage are feared” - Yikes!
tunamelt: Coincidentally, Obama plans to play “Ace’s Mexican Ranchero Accordian Countdown” before his stump speech to drum up Latino support.
Racist German Newspaper —> Germans —> Beer —> Budweiser—> Cindy McCain —> John McCain —> Racist
Hey! Creating conspiracies is easy!
ronaldpagan: I’d tend to give the paper credit and say they’re using it in an object-of-stereotype-appropriates-slang-name sort of way, as in the saying “A woman’s place is in the House and in the Senate.”
Since Uncle Tom was the long-suffering subservient character in the novel, and he occupied a run-down shack on his master’s plantation, using the phrase Uncle Barack’s Cabin throws Obama and the power and status of the White House in sharp contrast to the stock figure of the black man of 150 years ago.
Far too serious. I will start drinking now.
Was soll denn der Scheiß? Stowe has nothing on Barry’s logorhythms!
As I remember Harriet Beecher Stowe describes a negro character’s eyes as “soulful” about once per page.
pondscum: All weird stories come from Germany or Florida.
http://community.livejournal.com/germany_or_fl
El Bombastico: Hahaha.
ronaldpagan: In my experience, Uncle Tom’s Cabin is the only piece of African-American-related literature that Germans might read in school, so this headline is totally not unexpected. They’re largely unaware of the modern connotations of “Uncle Tom”, though, and are more likely to think of his character as a hero (as Americans did, early on). So this headline was probably intended as a compliment, in a bizarre Teutonic sort of way.
In order to understand the German mindset, picture the whitest place in America, and then make it about 50% whiter. Black people are like space aliens to them.
tunamelt: Quite a niche market that blog is tailoring to.
As far as Uncle Tom’s Cabin? I was only made available to a brief synopsis in “The King and I.”
In Germany, this really does pass for funny. I’m sorry, it is a shame. But it’s also funny. In Germany. They’ll get better.
Believe me boys and girls, Germany is not trying to piss off the future president of the US. At least not yet. Not as far as I know…
El Bombastico: Excellent–”Uncle Barry” is the new “Hopey.” Use it wisely and often.
Speaking of racist…have you noticed that occasionally, the t-shirt ad on your front page has obama holding a banana in a curios george pose?
Yeah, I give a lot of stock to anything coming from the country that gave us technomusic and 99 Luftballons.
Germans are not by nature funny people. They’d like to be funny, but it takes some reconditioning. They’re trying.
shortsshortsshorts: I’m imagining an updated production, in which the children perform Small House of Uncle Barack for King Georgie.
b bab: Word. Wonkette needs to reject and denounce some financial contributors of their own.
StrangelyBrown: b bab: HOLY SHIT!!! I hadn’t noticed that. That’s not racial transcendence!!!
Unless of course, it is a watermelon instead.
Yep, I’ve read Uncle Thomas - no, wait, that’s the recent Extreme Court insider expose by a reputed member. I read the other one, though, and it was quite inspiring. It’s about an evangelical slave who is mistreated all his life and finally beat to death by other slaves. I’m not sure what the message is here.
StrangelyBrown: Throw them under the bus!
Another fun fact: The nazi war machine was fueled by Paultard Soup.
This is another reason to hope McCain makes Lieberman his VP selection. So this German paper can recycle the same cover photo, but with the headline, “Onkel Joes Koncentration Kamp.”
b bab: Oh Christ I just saw that. Wonkette, I love you guys, but you need to be a little more selective about your sponsors.
And thanks, everyone who weighed in on the Uncle Tom thing. Germans are crazy.
graceless*: Yop. This is still a valid example of typical German humor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXq_YOE7cjo&feature=related
Just love those people, ya know?
ronaldpagan: Yes, we want Wonkette to more selective about its sponsors, but we also understand that there are bills to pay, and while they’re in transition, we understand…. We no likey, but we understand. What Wonkette’s doing is really hard, they’ll work it out…
The Curious George ad is so WTFFITFS(What The Fuckin’ Fuck Is This Fucking Shit?) You are aggravating my Pseudo-Tourette’s with this!!
I’m curious (no pun intended) what the “Camp Obama” t-shirt design looks like, but I REAAALY don’t want to go to that site. It’s probably got him swinging from a tree. Stay classy.
graceless*: Actually, we don’t understand. It’s not okay to have a racist advertisement.
El Bombastico: I went to the site. It’s a mish-mash of t-shirts that frat boys like, outright racist crap, liberal crap, and some sexist stuff thrown in for good measure.
I think it’s basically “Whatever sells, dude. Pass the bong.”
This one is totally RAD:
http://us.st12.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/achdirective_2005_475978
http://us.st12.yimg.com/us.st.yimg.com/I/achdirective_2002_22134980
Take a closer look…. resemblance?
Cicada: Is that Dr. Zoidberg, out of his shell?
This makes my t-shirt of Barry working in a field WAAAY to far.
shortsshortsshorts: “Hory Kow”, that’s RAD!
(it’s another shirt on the site, please don’t stone me)
Cicada: The ad people must have seen when the editors called us racist, misogynist jackasses and thought “That’s our target market!”
And my mom seems to have chicken wings instead of arms.
Black Cat: Oh come on. I love hopey as much as anyone, but we’d have to be rank hypocrites to object to this kind of thing after all the incredibly offensive stuff we say about Hillary and McCain on here everyday. The t-shirt is mild compared to the sexist and racist language that flies here (and I am as guilty of this as anyone).
jagorev: No doubt, but it would still totally squick me out if there was an ad for a Hillary nutcracker flashing up there.
I’ll ask again: When will Wonkette land the all-important TRUCK NUTZ ads? Now there’s a product I can get behind!
No point trying to sell Truck Nutz to Wonkette readers, who here hasn’t bought them?
Cicada: That product is hilarious, and endorsed by a former Wonkette editor:
http://wonkette.com/306548/hillary-cracks-nuts-no-hope-for-obama
My cousin in Kassel, C. Diederich, is funny as hell.
She married a Georgian (the US state) black serviceman.
We all were so happy for her, Obama style.
We laughed at her ma who did not think it at all funny.
German comedy gold.
Cicada: Everytime I hear TruckNUTS!!! I liquefy in weakness. I love them, more than anything ever.
Son of Mark Penn: But who can stop with just one pair? They’re like potato chips. I’m thinking of getting a set of the brass-colored ones on my bicycle.
jagorev: I guess I’m in denial because I rememver when this site made fun of sexists and racists. Perhaps its time for me to admit that it’s become something I really don’t care to be a part of.
I feel safer that they didn’t prit: “ONKEL HITLARY HUTTE”
OOPS, PRINT.. NOT PRIT
Cicada: And I would never fuck with a professional like yourself. Only idiots like myself.
The Real JR Revisted: Of course it is - just look at the lyrics:
Run Obama run!
Run from Clinton!
Who can save him?
Only Buddha Muhummad
Save him, Buddha Muhummad, save him
What will Buddha Muhummad do?
Black Cat: All I’m saying is, if it’s fair to talk about McCain’s shrivelled ballsack or decomposing cheeks on this site, then let’s not act like we’re shocked when people we disagree with say offensive things about Obama.
Black Cat: Erm…sorry to get all serious, but I think some folks using that language are making fun of sexists and racists. I mean, those Hillary nutcrackers are such an out-to-lunch ridiculous sexist item, who can resist poking fun at them? And people often pretend to embrace the item they find offensive as a device to mock it. I believe some folks call this “irony”, but that term is so misused I hesitate to use it here.
Case in point: I’m not really getting brass-colored TRUCK NUTZ for my bike.
I’m getting Camo-colored ones.
jagorev: I’m just sick of people telling me that Barry’s black, when he’s clearly a middle-aged white woman.
These people are just trying to piss me off, I put Gremany on the list.
I am putting this Jack Ass on the list to, I dam shure am not middle-aged!
Cicada: I agree. I think its one thing to display the hilary clinton nutcrackers, and another thing to profit off of their sale. I’ve always assumed there’s layers of sarcasm and commentary to Wonkette’s editorial voice. It’s different, because the humor on this site is based on a sense of knowing… the above article isn’t funny, unless you know how ridiculous/offensive it is to call the white house Uncle Barak’s cabin.
I want my truk nutz racially transcendent: half black, half white.
Cicada: As you said, “some folks.” Unfortunately, there’s been some pretty nasty stuff during this primary season that wasn’t trying to be ironic at all. I changed my handle when the site changed, oh fuck, can’t finish sentence, McCain is on tv doing a commerical for Lifetime! Lifetime! The channel that bought Project Runway!
And now you all know that I’m watching Lifetime right now…shit. I might need to change my handle…
I went to Stirling University in Scotland for a year. I had a German, Norwegian, Dutch and a bunch of Scottish roommates. Everyone (except me) hated the German from day one. He wore all black, ate only vegetables and never smiled.
He ended up dating an American girl from Ohio with an impossibly gigantic ass. She only wore jeans and worn out hoodies. It made no sense and because of that experience I try to pretend Germany doesn’t exist.
This isn’t relevant, I just wanted to share. Also, here is my list of the craziest Hillary sites,in ascending order of craziness:
1. MyDD
2. TalkLeft
3. Taylor Marsh
4. NoQuarter
5. Hillaryis44
I rear-ended a Ford F-150’s Truck Nutz in a Pontiac G6.
Oh, the look on the male bystanders faces.
Black Cat: Lifetime? I’m heating up the tar and emptying the down pillows as I type.
I hear what you’re saying about this primary, it has gotten nasty at times. There were quite a few debates on the topic, as I recall.
But I’m ready to let the healing begin, y’all. Let’s crack some tallboys and drink a toast to unity in the face of WALNUTS! withered visage and t-rex arms!
I think the only thing I’ve learned today is that Susie Gharib (co-anchor of PBS’ Nightly Business Report) is an inveterate racist.
From the “Der Spiegel” article:
“This is not the first time that [Die Tageszeitung] has made an “Uncle Tom” reference. Back in 2004, the paper ran a story about Condoleezza Rice’s appointment as US secretary of state under the headline “Uncle Tom’s Rice.”
Was that some kind of multi-pronged black/Asian dig? Or are they dragging Uncle Ben into this too?
jfruh: that was the funniest thing i’ve seen in a while, thanks for sharing
Cicada: There was an Obama ad for Lifetime too. It’s a support our troops thing.
Black Cat: Obama has one too, but it is quite awesome, well as awesome as a commercial on Lifetime can be.
Fuck. I just admitted I was watching Lifetime earlier. Don’t kill me. I am watching the NBA Finals now. One sporting event cancels out one hour of Lifetime.
HerExcellency: It’s the Lakers. Can’t get any lamer than that. The Lakers are the Lifetime of professional sports. Sorry to rip the band-aid off the fast way like that, mang.
As an apology to southern California, this Portlander offers the following proposal:
Vice President Barbara Boxer. She’s smart, competent, dresses well, and was balls-on-fire today on C-Span. Way more real than you-know-who. Obama/Boxer sounds badass.
Hey everyone, I just came back after a few hours and believe me, that monkey ad is quite a SHOCK to see and is definitely not meant to be a joke or there at all. I’m trying to figure out what’s going on…
germans are interesting; i went to germany a few years ago and found them much more progressive and enlightened than i typically see in america — because they had to own up to wwii, whereas america has never had to own up to its racist history — but at the same time they don’t get where in america we pretend to face up to race by policing the language we use to talk about it rather than actually talking about it, and they freely just… go there. “you americans,” i got told, by a person who i know was basically an innocent soul and didn’t harbor racist hatred of any conspicuous sort, “have such a problem with blacks!” substitute “race” with blacks and you’ve pretty much arrived at the truth, but he used the wrong word and it came out all hamhocked.
and yeah, what’s with that obama eating the banana shirt anyway? interesting how having an african american and a woman running for president has really made all this stuff bubble to the surface. probably healthy, ultimately.
anyway, hi, everybody.
HerExcellency: Yeah, I noticed that later, but I was on the phone for Obama’s so I didn’t hear what he siad.
Seldo: Even better Mr. Wong:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVOsgu9xGGM
DIE IST NICHT RASSISCHE TRANSZENDENZ!
My dad told me a story once. He said that after the war, the Germans he met would always bring up how the U.S. treated “it’s negros”, as some sort of excuse for the persecution of the Jews. It is nice to see how far they have come in their thinking in the last 60 years or so. I think if dad were still alive, he might say, “Didn’t we just kick there asses a while back. Twice?”…Dad couldn’t let it go.