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JOHN MCCAIN

BREAKING: Kos isn’t funny. [Daily Kos]


3:56 PM on Thu June 5 2008
By Jim Newell
509 Views

  1. ReelectTilden says at 3:59 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Does he just steal ideas directly from Wonkette commenters? I know I personally goofed on those teeth a day or two ago…

  2. floraway says at 4:00 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I think that Kos is going to create a civil war with his diarists. Worse than the Hillz supporters vs. Barry supporter war from earlier this year.

    But this one is reasonable, because that was a really dumb post.

  3. Humble Pi says at 4:01 pm, June 5th, 2008

    In other news, General Fransisco Franco is still dead.

  4. The Real JR Revisted says at 4:02 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Okay, but in their defense, because I was initially thinking the same thing while watching the lime green speech on Tuesday, it’s not like 30 years haven’t gone by and the guy can’t get his teeth fixed. And if I remember the pics when he was released, it was his side teeth, not the front. And they’re criticizing the color, not the shape of his teeth.

    And he does look creepy when he does those forced smiles.

  5. tunamelt says at 4:03 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I can’t believe this doesn’t warrant an siren animated gif.

  6. ReelectTilden says at 4:05 pm, June 5th, 2008

    The Real JR Revisted: Sure, if you’re a elite investment banker who can afford orthodontia. Real Muricans have fucked up teeth and issues with anger, and they’re not going to line up behind ol’ Pearly-White (but not actually white) Barry Obama.

  7. Yah, the whole article is pretty toothless.

  8. StrangelyBrown says at 4:08 pm, June 5th, 2008

    This reminds me a little of Wonkette’s coverage of Bush’s persistent meth-mouth a while back. Maybe tooth decay is a side effect of their surrender to the Brain-Hugging Neocon Symbiont From Beyond the Moon?

  9. wallythepug says at 4:10 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I’d been thinking that he needed to hit the Crest White-Strips pretty hard myself. WALNUTS, not Kos.

  10. The Real JR Revisted says at 4:11 pm, June 5th, 2008

    ReelectTilden: Are you calling me English?! I’m red-blooded American, Buster! We have fluoride in our water and we LIKE IT!

    That’s not change we can believe in! *creepy forced wide grin while waiting for someone to cue for applause*

  11. NoWireHangers says at 4:12 pm, June 5th, 2008

    What WALNUTS! needs is a grill studded with red, white, and blue cubic zirconium. Something classy, you know, for the ‘lection.

  12. Eclectablog says at 4:14 pm, June 5th, 2008

    It’s one thing to have stuff like that on Wonkette. But Kos is a different kind of website and should be above that.

    In other words, we have the low road covered. Completely. Seriously, dude, we got it handled.

  13. Mabalz Izhari says at 4:17 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cindy can afford to have a “BriteSmile” office in her basement next to her tanning bed and treadmill. I can’t believe she would let him kiss her with that mouth. She probably sealed her vadge with his Sea Bond denture cream.

  14. shortsshortsshorts says at 4:17 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Kos doesn’t have any stories about WALNUTS’ sweeeeet nipples? What is this country coming to?
    And ya, teeth. Dumb dumb dumb.

  15. freakishlystrong says at 4:18 pm, June 5th, 2008

    The Real JR Revisted:
    Creepy!!?? He looks like the fucking Gollum…

  16. jagorev says at 4:18 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I hope Kos will clarify how this is any different from making fun of Obama for his dark skin or “African” nose and lips, or making a big deal of Hillary’s cleavage.

  17. Sean O says at 4:19 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Yeah, when I saw that post I forgot whether I was on Kos or Wonkette. Then I realized wonkette would’ve been funnier.

    Kos should be about self-righteously being pissed at everything republican (or Clinton), not petty potshots at how grumpus looks.

    It’s like making fun of Bush because he talks like a retard. We all know he talks like a retard, but there’s so much more material.

  18. ReelectTilden says at 4:24 pm, June 5th, 2008

    The Real JR Revisted: Flouride?!? We still have that? Then what the hell has the John Birch Society been doing with all my donations?

  19. bitchincamaro says at 4:24 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Actually, it kind of endears Walnuts to me, knowing
    his chiclets are the color of Wonkette wallpaper.

  20. El Bombastico says at 4:26 pm, June 5th, 2008

    To be fair, his teeth only look yellow because they’re contrasted against the translucent, pasty white skin on his melon-shaped head. Glad I could increase the level of discourse.

  21. Eclectablog says at 4:26 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Sean O: ‘Zactly

  22. Jobbotch says at 4:29 pm, June 5th, 2008

    …and I wish I didn’t have to stare at the “Obama as Curious George” T-shirt ad while reading this.

  23. problemwithcaring says at 4:31 pm, June 5th, 2008

    El Bombastico: Excatly - would you wnat a president with the bad taste to have pasty skin, but the poor jugdement not to “Zoom”?

  24. Tits_LaRue says at 4:32 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I’m pretty sure this was already snarked better at Wonkette, somewhere, but Rude Pundit nailed it with “corn kernel teeth.” Simple and to the point. Like the phrase: “kos who?”

  25. SwanSwanH says at 4:32 pm, June 5th, 2008

    .Eclectablog: Precisely. And Kos’ teeth are the color of Ned Lamont’s spunk.

  26. Gopherit v2.0 says at 4:32 pm, June 5th, 2008

    You have to admit, though, you should be able to get dentures cleaner than that.

    If Kos wanted to be truly snide, they should have mentioned McCain’s more than passing resemblance to the
    Cryptkeeper:
    http://onlyhuckabee.com/cryptkeeper.jpg

  27. blogfather says at 4:33 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Kos must be where all the consumerist readers go to talk about politics…

  28. Cicada says at 4:35 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Jobbotch: Yes, I’ve been trying to edit that out of my field of vision as well.
    Obama is like a monkey! Ha-ha! It’s funny because he’s a Negro! Ha-ha! He likes bananas! And watermelon and fried chicken!

    Why can’t we have an ad for TRUCK NUTZ instead?

  29. NoWireHangers says at 4:38 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Jobbotch: WTF? On OUR WONKETTE???

  30. blogfather says at 4:38 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Smile fo’ me daddy
    (What you lookin at)
    Let me see ya grill
    (Let cha see my what)
    Ye, ya grill ye, ye, ya grill
    (Rob da jewellery store and tell em make me a grill
    she said)

  31. RaptorAvatar says at 4:39 pm, June 5th, 2008

    My teeth are probably worse than that, but It’s cause I subsist on coffee and cigarettes and am not married to a beer heiress who can buy old man braces/whitening stuff for me.

  32. blogfather says at 4:39 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cicada: That’s baw-bee-Q chicken… get it right.

  33. MrAgro says at 4:39 pm, June 5th, 2008

    O’Reilly’s gonna have a field day with this.

  34. NoWireHangers says at 4:40 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cicada: I wonder if their “unique, random T shirts” include one with a graphic of WALNUTS! head plastered on a box of saltine crackers.

  35. El Bombastico says at 4:43 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cicada: Holy shit. How long has that been there? Have I been subconsciously getting more racist?

  36. blogfather says at 4:45 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Teeth whitener and bush’s cock probably don’t mix. Like drinking o.j. after you brush.

  37. Cicada says at 4:48 pm, June 5th, 2008

    El Bombastico: Yes. It’s all part of David Duke’s 20 year plan to take back the white house through subliminal T-shirt ads.
    It looks like the ad has changed to “Camp Obama” now.
    Tricksy!

  38. Cicada says at 4:53 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cicada: *WHITEhouse*, not *white house* damn!

  39. AxmxZ says at 4:54 pm, June 5th, 2008

    We’ll see how pretty Kos looks at McCain’s age. (Not Barry, though. Everyone knows black don’t crack.)

  40. El Bombastico says at 4:59 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cicada: I don’t know what’s more offensive: the blatantly racist t-shirt or the fact that they use the word “rad”. Are their copyrighters plagarizing Hot Wheels ads from 1986?

  41. GenghisConvict says at 5:04 pm, June 5th, 2008

    kos: in the back-pocket of the white-strip lobby since day one.

  42. shortsshortsshorts says at 5:21 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Cicada: Or, if you prefer, the “not black” house.

  43. obfuscator says at 5:28 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I find the “ENTER THE DECISION CENTER” button to be very amusing.

  44. ChatteringClass says at 5:29 pm, June 5th, 2008

    The Real JR Revisted: Not according to Gen. Jack D. Ripper: “You know when fluoridation first began? … Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

  45. MrAgro says at 5:29 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Judge not a man by the color of his teeth, but the contents of his pockets: two Wherther’s Originals and an engraved divot.

  46. Cicada: Holy crap. I worked for a newspaper and I know you don’t normally pick and choose your ads but, uh …

    Holy crap.

    And yeah, I guess when you have to ooze your way from beneath a rock every election season, you may miss the fact that you’re trying to lure the kiddies with twenty-some year old slang.

  47. graceless* says at 6:07 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Daily Kos, where wonkettes go to recycle…

  48. Advocatus_Diaboli says at 6:53 pm, June 5th, 2008

    I hear Kos is in talks to start writing Leno’s monologues.

  49. sezme says at 7:22 pm, June 5th, 2008

    That’s not dental transcendence!

  50. sweetladyirony says at 7:27 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Whoever made the comment about drinking puddle water deserves credit for this whole shebang. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was entirely underwhelmed by Kos’s failure at lol today.

  51. Lionel Hutz Esq. says at 8:02 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Duh.

  52. shortsshortsshorts says at 8:24 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Instead of a “Breaking News” story shouldn’t this be a “developing” story?

  53. liquiddaddy says at 9:09 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Haha. McCain is old! He can’t lift his arms up. ha ha He had skin cancer and his skins all, like, narly, and shit. snort! Let’s look at his butt! I bet its all saggy with old dude pimples all over it. Get an anal bleach, old dude!

  54. masterdebater says at 9:50 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Thanks a lot…here comes dinner.

  55. Canmon (the Inadequate) says at 10:52 pm, June 5th, 2008

    That picture was artificially darkened by the Clinton campaign.

  56. Dude, I am freakin’ funny.

    (actually, I’m not that Kos)

  57. Sabre_Justice says at 11:45 pm, June 5th, 2008

    Hey, my teeth are that colour and my dentist never says nothin’.

    Clicking ‘View Comments’ was not a good idea…

  58. ReelectTilden says at 9:39 am, June 6th, 2008

    sweetladyirony: That was me, damn it! Kos is stealing my lines!

  59. ReelectTilden says at 9:54 am, June 6th, 2008

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