JOHN MCCAIN  3:56 pm June 5, 2008

by Jim Newell

BREAKING: Kos isn’t funny. [Daily Kos]

Related video

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.


ReelectTilden June 5, 2008 at 3:59 pm

Does he just steal ideas directly from Wonkette commenters? I know I personally goofed on those teeth a day or two ago…

floraway June 5, 2008 at 4:00 pm

I think that Kos is going to create a civil war with his diarists. Worse than the Hillz supporters vs. Barry supporter war from earlier this year.

But this one is reasonable, because that was a really dumb post.

Humble Pi June 5, 2008 at 4:01 pm

In other news, General Fransisco Franco is still dead.

The Real JR Revisted June 5, 2008 at 4:02 pm

Okay, but in their defense, because I was initially thinking the same thing while watching the lime green speech on Tuesday, it’s not like 30 years haven’t gone by and the guy can’t get his teeth fixed. And if I remember the pics when he was released, it was his side teeth, not the front. And they’re criticizing the color, not the shape of his teeth.

And he does look creepy when he does those forced smiles.

tunamelt June 5, 2008 at 4:03 pm

I can’t believe this doesn’t warrant an siren animated gif.

ReelectTilden June 5, 2008 at 4:05 pm

[re=8405]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Sure, if you’re a elite investment banker who can afford orthodontia. Real Muricans have fucked up teeth and issues with anger, and they’re not going to line up behind ol’ Pearly-White (but not actually white) Barry Obama.

TGY June 5, 2008 at 4:06 pm

Yah, the whole article is pretty toothless.

StrangelyBrown June 5, 2008 at 4:08 pm

This reminds me a little of Wonkette’s coverage of Bush’s persistent meth-mouth a while back. Maybe tooth decay is a side effect of their surrender to the Brain-Hugging Neocon Symbiont From Beyond the Moon?

wallythepug June 5, 2008 at 4:10 pm

I’d been thinking that he needed to hit the Crest White-Strips pretty hard myself. WALNUTS, not Kos.

The Real JR Revisted June 5, 2008 at 4:11 pm

[re=8410]ReelectTilden[/re]: Are you calling me English?! I’m red-blooded American, Buster! We have fluoride in our water and we LIKE IT!

That’s not change we can believe in! *creepy forced wide grin while waiting for someone to cue for applause*

NoWireHangers June 5, 2008 at 4:12 pm

What WALNUTS! needs is a grill studded with red, white, and blue cubic zirconium. Something classy, you know, for the ‘lection.

Eclectablog June 5, 2008 at 4:14 pm

It’s one thing to have stuff like that on Wonkette. But Kos is a different kind of website and should be above that.

In other words, we have the low road covered. Completely. Seriously, dude, we got it handled.

Mabalz Izhari June 5, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Cindy can afford to have a “BriteSmile” office in her basement next to her tanning bed and treadmill. I can’t believe she would let him kiss her with that mouth. She probably sealed her vadge with his Sea Bond denture cream.

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 4:17 pm

Kos doesn’t have any stories about WALNUTS’ sweeeeet nipples? What is this country coming to?
And ya, teeth. Dumb dumb dumb.

freakishlystrong June 5, 2008 at 4:18 pm

[re=8405]The Real JR Revisted[/re]:
Creepy!!?? He looks like the fucking Gollum…

jagorev June 5, 2008 at 4:18 pm

I hope Kos will clarify how this is any different from making fun of Obama for his dark skin or “African” nose and lips, or making a big deal of Hillary’s cleavage.

Sean O June 5, 2008 at 4:19 pm

Yeah, when I saw that post I forgot whether I was on Kos or Wonkette. Then I realized wonkette would’ve been funnier.

Kos should be about self-righteously being pissed at everything republican (or Clinton), not petty potshots at how grumpus looks.

It’s like making fun of Bush because he talks like a retard. We all know he talks like a retard, but there’s so much more material.

ReelectTilden June 5, 2008 at 4:24 pm

[re=8421]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Flouride?!? We still have that? Then what the hell has the John Birch Society been doing with all my donations?

bitchincamaro June 5, 2008 at 4:24 pm

Actually, it kind of endears Walnuts to me, knowing
his chiclets are the color of Wonkette wallpaper.

El Bombastico June 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm

To be fair, his teeth only look yellow because they’re contrasted against the translucent, pasty white skin on his melon-shaped head. Glad I could increase the level of discourse.

Eclectablog June 5, 2008 at 4:26 pm

[re=8440]Sean O[/re]: ‘Zactly

Jobbotch June 5, 2008 at 4:29 pm

…and I wish I didn’t have to stare at the “Obama as Curious George” T-shirt ad while reading this.

problemwithcaring June 5, 2008 at 4:31 pm

[re=8457]El Bombastico[/re]: Excatly – would you wnat a president with the bad taste to have pasty skin, but the poor jugdement not to “Zoom”?

Tits_LaRue June 5, 2008 at 4:32 pm

I’m pretty sure this was already snarked better at Wonkette, somewhere, but Rude Pundit nailed it with “corn kernel teeth.” Simple and to the point. Like the phrase: “kos who?”

SwanSwanH June 5, 2008 at 4:32 pm

.[re=8426]Eclectablog[/re]: Precisely. And Kos’ teeth are the color of Ned Lamont’s spunk.

Gopherit v2.0 June 5, 2008 at 4:32 pm

You have to admit, though, you should be able to get dentures cleaner than that.

If Kos wanted to be truly snide, they should have mentioned McCain’s more than passing resemblance to the

blogfather June 5, 2008 at 4:33 pm

Kos must be where all the consumerist readers go to talk about politics…

Cicada June 5, 2008 at 4:35 pm

[re=8466]Jobbotch[/re]: Yes, I’ve been trying to edit that out of my field of vision as well.
Obama is like a monkey! Ha-ha! It’s funny because he’s a Negro! Ha-ha! He likes bananas! And watermelon and fried chicken!

Why can’t we have an ad for TRUCK NUTZ instead?

NoWireHangers June 5, 2008 at 4:38 pm

[re=8466]Jobbotch[/re]: WTF? On OUR WONKETTE???

blogfather June 5, 2008 at 4:38 pm

Smile fo’ me daddy
(What you lookin at)
Let me see ya grill
(Let cha see my what)
Ye, ya grill ye, ye, ya grill
(Rob da jewellery store and tell em make me a grill
she said)

RaptorAvatar June 5, 2008 at 4:39 pm

My teeth are probably worse than that, but It’s cause I subsist on coffee and cigarettes and am not married to a beer heiress who can buy old man braces/whitening stuff for me.

blogfather June 5, 2008 at 4:39 pm

[re=8476]Cicada[/re]: That’s baw-bee-Q chicken… get it right.

MrAgro June 5, 2008 at 4:39 pm

O’Reilly’s gonna have a field day with this.

NoWireHangers June 5, 2008 at 4:40 pm

[re=8476]Cicada[/re]: I wonder if their “unique, random T shirts” include one with a graphic of WALNUTS! head plastered on a box of saltine crackers.

El Bombastico June 5, 2008 at 4:43 pm

[re=8476]Cicada[/re]: Holy shit. How long has that been there? Have I been subconsciously getting more racist?

blogfather June 5, 2008 at 4:45 pm

Teeth whitener and bush’s cock probably don’t mix. Like drinking o.j. after you brush.

Cicada June 5, 2008 at 4:48 pm

[re=8492]El Bombastico[/re]: Yes. It’s all part of David Duke’s 20 year plan to take back the white house through subliminal T-shirt ads.
It looks like the ad has changed to “Camp Obama” now.

Cicada June 5, 2008 at 4:53 pm

[re=8507]Cicada[/re]: *WHITEhouse*, not *white house* damn!

AxmxZ June 5, 2008 at 4:54 pm

We’ll see how pretty Kos looks at McCain’s age. (Not Barry, though. Everyone knows black don’t crack.)

El Bombastico June 5, 2008 at 4:59 pm

[re=8507]Cicada[/re]: I don’t know what’s more offensive: the blatantly racist t-shirt or the fact that they use the word “rad”. Are their copyrighters plagarizing Hot Wheels ads from 1986?

GenghisConvict June 5, 2008 at 5:04 pm

kos: in the back-pocket of the white-strip lobby since day one.

shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 5:21 pm

[re=8520]Cicada[/re]: Or, if you prefer, the “not black” house.

obfuscator June 5, 2008 at 5:28 pm

I find the “ENTER THE DECISION CENTER” button to be very amusing.

ChatteringClass June 5, 2008 at 5:29 pm

[re=8421]The Real JR Revisted[/re]: Not according to Gen. Jack D. Ripper: “You know when fluoridation first began? … Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works.

MrAgro June 5, 2008 at 5:29 pm

Judge not a man by the color of his teeth, but the contents of his pockets: two Wherther’s Originals and an engraved divot.

Tra June 5, 2008 at 6:06 pm

[re=8476]Cicada[/re]: Holy crap. I worked for a newspaper and I know you don’t normally pick and choose your ads but, uh …

Holy crap.

And yeah, I guess when you have to ooze your way from beneath a rock every election season, you may miss the fact that you’re trying to lure the kiddies with twenty-some year old slang.

graceless* June 5, 2008 at 6:07 pm

Daily Kos, where wonkettes go to recycle…

Advocatus_Diaboli June 5, 2008 at 6:53 pm

I hear Kos is in talks to start writing Leno’s monologues.

sezme June 5, 2008 at 7:22 pm

That’s not dental transcendence!

sweetladyirony June 5, 2008 at 7:27 pm

Whoever made the comment about drinking puddle water deserves credit for this whole shebang. I’m glad I’m not the only one who was entirely underwhelmed by Kos’s failure at lol today.

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 5, 2008 at 8:02 pm


shortsshortsshorts June 5, 2008 at 8:24 pm

Instead of a “Breaking News” story shouldn’t this be a “developing” story?

liquiddaddy June 5, 2008 at 9:09 pm

Haha. McCain is old! He can’t lift his arms up. ha ha He had skin cancer and his skins all, like, narly, and shit. snort! Let’s look at his butt! I bet its all saggy with old dude pimples all over it. Get an anal bleach, old dude!

masterdebater June 5, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Thanks a lot…here comes dinner.

Canmon (the Inadequate) June 5, 2008 at 10:52 pm

That picture was artificially darkened by the Clinton campaign.

Kos June 5, 2008 at 10:54 pm

Dude, I am freakin’ funny.

(actually, I’m not that Kos)

Sabre_Justice June 5, 2008 at 11:45 pm

Hey, my teeth are that colour and my dentist never says nothin’.

Clicking ‘View Comments’ was not a good idea…

ReelectTilden June 6, 2008 at 9:39 am

[re=8659]sweetladyirony[/re]: That was me, damn it! Kos is stealing my lines!

ReelectTilden June 6, 2008 at 9:54 am

Comments on this entry are closed.

Previous post:

Next post: